45. Chapter 45
Maryn
On Monday, I’d watched the window for hours, sure he would come and ask me to abandon the mission and leave with him again. I might not have said no this time. Finally, hunger drove me downstairs.
She’d come out of nowhere.
One moment, the hall was empty, and the next, Sera had me by the shoulders, slamming me back against the wall hard enough that white cracked across my vision. Her eyes were red-rimmed. Not wild like Lydia’s had been.
“Your boyfriend is in custody.” Her breath was sour. “You’ll never see him again.”
I had been frozen. The wall was solid against my spine, my head was screaming, and all I could do was stand there while she looked at me like she already knew she’d won.
Then she walked away.
I’d made it back to my room before my legs went.
“Maryn. Hold still.”
I blinked. Vera was watching me in the mirror, wand suspended mid-air.
The vial Vera had given me sat untouched on the counter.
She hadn’t commented on it. She worked in silence, the wand moving through my hair in steady sections. I was glad for it; conversation required a part of me I hadn’t had access to in days.
I touched the yellow skin at my temple.
Vera slapped my hand away, continuing her work.
I frowned, staring down at the thin gown she’d dressed me in. “I don’t want Elias to be reminded of what happened.”
She reached for the next strand of hair and met my stare in the mirror. “Men love to be needed. This is the best thing that could have happened to you.”
“You’ll never see him again.” The words had played on repeat for days. I picked at the corner of my nail.
“Stop that,” Vera said, without looking up.
I flattened my hands on my thighs.
Two days I’d been sitting with it. Two days with no way to check on him. No one I could ask, even if I’d known how.
I looked up. Could I ask Vera? Would she help me?
“Are we becoming friends, Vera?”
She snorted. “If I didn’t like you, I would have been rooting for Lydia.”
A small laugh escaped me, and I winced.
Vera slid the vial across the counter toward me. “Take it. It will minimize the pain for twenty-four hours.”
My fingers curled around it, and I looked up again. “Could I ask you a favor?”
She tightened the wand around a curl, tugging harder than was necessary.
“No.”
I shook my head. Of course not. Why had I even thought about it? It would be dangerous for her. Instead, I asked, “Why do you have so many drugs?”
She looked at the vial in my hand.
“Life is very different for women who aren’t eligible for marriage anymore.”
Something tightened behind my ribs, and I searched her face. “Will you tell me what happened to you? After the Cannon Rite.”
Her hands stilled on the wand.
“My mother fought for me.” She resumed curling. “Not everyone has someone to do that for them.”
She touched her lips. “It could have been so much worse.”
I stared at her fingers pressed against her mouth.
“They could have made me a chaperone.”
When she was gone, I moved around the room, collecting what I needed. I tucked the hexagon of soap into the corner of the bag and zipped it closed.
***
The car stopped, and I sat a moment before the door opened.
Outside, the stone facade rose above me, solid and immovable. I ran a hand over my bag strap. Inside it, the hexagon of soap pressed against the fabric like an accusation.
I knocked.
It swung wide, and Elias met me, taking the bag from my hand and wrapping an arm through mine. He pulled me inside, but his movements were gentle, careful.
We passed his pair of guard dogs, but they paid no attention to us as we strode down the long hall I’d come through the night of his Rite ball.
He halted in the hallway, glancing down at me. “Are you tired? Am I walking too fast?”
I almost laughed, but Vera’s vial had masked more than the physical pain. It had smoothed the edges off everything else, too.
“I’m fine.”
He searched my face before nodding. “Do you want water? Something stronger?”
“Sure.”
We continued down a hall, passing several large rooms, until the space widened into a large kitchen. It was larger than my entire home in the Middle. Tall ceilings stretched up, and natural light filtered through fogged skylights above us.
He released my hand, leaving me to lean against the counter as he tucked my bag under his arm and bustled around a kitchen he knew well.
Amber liquid poured into two glasses, and he held one out to me. A touch of nervous energy pushed through the fog. I wasn’t sure if it was because it was our first time alone, without a chaperone, or what came after.
I took a tentative sip.
His eyes met mine, and they burned with enough heat to scorch.
He set his glass down. “Sera filed a report after Lydia died. Tried to use it to take you down. She and Charles were working together.” His mouth tightened. “I had him released this morning. Cleared your name.”
I turned the glass in my hand, grateful for my dulled nerves. I was certain I would have given away my relief if I’d been able to truly feel it.
“Thank you,” I said.
He said nothing, the fire that sizzled beneath the surface alive in his eyes. He was furious—at Calden, at Sera—and had no idea what he’d just given me.
I pushed off the counter, moving toward him.
He watched me, frozen in place.
“I’m ready.”
We stepped through the door, into a room with dark walls and a strip of light running along the back wall, perfectly illuminating the massive bed at its center.
Elias released my hand, setting my bag down on a low table.
I turned in a slow circle, noting the map that covered most of one wall. It was a recreation of the pre-war United States. Fifty unique states, each with its own set of laws. Utter chaos to attempt to unify when the nation needed that most.
Elias cleared his throat. “What do you think?”
His voice cracked at the end, and I smiled. “I’ve never seen so much wood in one room.”
He beamed from ear to ear, stepping forward to pull the chair out from his desk. The legs were metal, but the back and seat were smooth wood. “This was made for me when I went to college.”
A sour taste flooded my mouth, but I swallowed it down. “It’s beautiful.”
Elias’s grin faltered. “The wood is reclaimed. From the remnants of old furniture.”
I nodded. “I’ve heard of that project. It’s going well?”
His lips fell into a line. “They couldn’t secure enough funding to continue.”
He looked away.
I stepped forward, running a hand over the polished wood. “Well, at least you have something to remember it.”
Elias glanced around the room, picking up a leather book. “This is an original.”
He held it out to me, and I took it, sounding out the letters on the cover. EN-CYC-LO-PE-D-IA.
He moved closer, heat radiating off him, and I leaned into his warmth. A shudder racked my limbs.
“Are you cold?” Elias took the book, pulling out his tablet and in moments, the temperature rose.
“You have heat in your room?”
Elias frowned. “Don’t you?”
I gave him a small smile. “No.”
“Come here.”
I leaned into his chest, and his arms came around me. In moments, my stiff limbs relaxed.
His head tipped, lips pressed to the top of my head. “Better?” he whispered.
I nodded against him.
His arms flexed, hugging me closer.
I rested my right cheek on his chest, careful to avoid the other side of my face—even though Vera’s drugs were miraculous and I currently felt nothing.
We stood at the center of Elias’s room for some time, pressed together.
“I don’t know what I would have done if something had happened to you.” He leaned back, looking down at me. “Maryn I…”
I searched his face, something inside me melting.
“I love you.” His words came out rough.
A tear slid down my cheek. I let it fall. It wasn’t entirely a lie.
I lifted onto my toes, pressing my lips to his. His mouth moved, lips parting as his tongue slid out.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. My skin was hot, flushed everywhere his hard body pressed against mine. The nearly sheer fabric of my gown let me feel every groove, every button and buckle of his clothing.
He cupped my backside, hefting me off my feet.
I wrapped my legs around him, sucking his tongue between my teeth and groaning as he walked me backward; the motion sent a delicious friction sparking some great need between my thighs.
His lips left mine, trailing the right side of my face. They were light and gentle, hovering over my ear, hot breath making goosebumps erupt along my arms.
“Tell me if you want me to stop.”
In answer, I wrapped my legs around his waist, tipping my head back.
He sank onto the bed, lowering me with him, his laugh soft against my neck as his kisses moved south. His weight settled over me, one thigh pressed between mine, sliding up slowly until heat burned my center.
"Maryn," he groaned against my collarbone.
I reached for his face, pulling him back to my lips.
His knee lifted, the warmth between my thighs evaporating, and I stilled, eyes flying open.
Elias’s blue eyes pierced me, gaze burning through me. There was a question there, one I didn’t hesitate to answer.
“Yes, Elias. Yes.”
He smiled, a boyish grin flashing across his face as he lifted off the bed, unbuttoning his shirt. It was painfully slow, and the heat at my center threatened to burn me alive.
He tossed the shirt on the floor, climbing back onto the bed. His gaze was hungry as it ran down my body, lingering on two pebbles painfully hard under white fabric.
He looked up, silently seeking my permission once more, and I reached for him, fisting a handful of his hair in my palm and dragging him toward me. His lips found mine, rougher this time, sucking and licking, but in moments they were moving again, trailing down my neck and chest.
He sucked a nipple through the fabric, gently biting down on tender flesh.
An explosion of heat burst to life between my legs. I moaned, tightening my grip on his hair.
His other hand found my breast, cupping it before twisting the nipple between two fingers. The sensation made my whole body flush hot and cold at the same time.