31. CHARLOTTE
31
CHARLOTTE
I had to talk to Alex. I’d thought long and hard about what was going to happen—about my future and about the baby growing inside me.
The doctor had said I had options, but to me it was simple.
I was keeping the baby.
How could I do anything different when my mom had walked out on me, forcing me to live a life in a broken family without someone to look up to and someone to lean on?
I would never do that to a child who hadn’t been asked to be born into this kind of situation. I might have made mistakes, and life might not have gone in the direction I wanted it to go, but that didn’t mean I would ruin the life of another human being just because I wasn’t happy with it. I knew all too well what kind of pain that brought, and I refused to do that to another person.
Which meant that no matter which way things went with Alex today, I was going to raise this child.
I just hoped Alex would be on board with it because I was terrified of doing this alone.
I stopped in front of his office building. I looked up at the tall glass high-rise with its mirror finish and its stunning view of the ocean, and my stomach twisted into a knot of nerves.
Every time I’d stopped here in the past something else had happened. From us being enemies to us being lovers, not one meeting had been the same as the one before it.
And now, it was going to change my world yet again.
But everything about Alex was like that.
When Maya had come over, I’d told her everything. About the baby, about my choice to keep the child, about how I would have to change things so I could raise a baby. I’d told her about Alex and what he’d confessed to me in the lighthouse together, about how he was scared of being a father and that I was worried he wouldn’t want to get involved in the baby’s life.
Maya had said that if he was a real man, he would step up and do the right thing.
But it wasn’t that simple. I understood Alex. I knew the pain he was going through, and I knew this baby wasn’t something we’d planned to do together. Sure, we’d said we wanted to talk to my brother and see where things went, but… God, we hadn’t even talked to Gabe yet.
Well, this was all the more reason to talk to Alex so that we knew exactly where we stood with each other.
If I knew what the future held, I could prepare for it.
My brother would be pissed, though. There was no doubt about it. If he wasn’t angry about Alex—which I was still pretty sure he would be—then he’d be furious that I’d gotten pregnant.
Gabe had practically raised me. He’d done so much to keep me safe, and he’d always been protective. When he found out that I’d gotten pregnant, he would tell me I’d thrown my life away.
Even though I’d worked hard for as long as I could remember, I’d studied hard, and I was being mentored by one of the most recognized biologists in the country. I’d made it so far.
But Gabe wouldn’t see it that way.
“Just one step at a time, Charlotte,” I told myself, giving myself a pep talk. “Let’s just focus on that first step.”
I checked my hair and makeup in the mirror before getting out of the car, and I walked to the reception desk.
I was sent up to Alex’s floor, and then his secretary announced me. She told me I could go into the office, and I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Alex,” I said when I saw him standing behind his desk. “Hi. I’m so sorry to bother you.”
“You’re not bothering me.” He walked around the desk, coming to me. He planted a kiss on my lips but it was chaste, distant. “I’m glad you’re here. I need to talk to you about something.”
“Oh,” I said, surprised. “Sure. I mean, I need to talk to you, too.”
“Okay, well, I’ll go first because this is a big thing to me, and I need to get it off my chest.”
I nodded, and Alex gestured for me to sit down in one of the armchairs that faced his desk.
It felt very formal. I frowned, unsure now. I didn’t know what was going on or what to expect. I’d come here to talk to him, not the other way around, but he seemed so serious.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
“No,” Alex said. “Actually, it’s not. I saw Gabe yesterday.”
“Oh. I’m guessing it didn’t go well since you’re so grim.”
“It didn’t,” Alex confirmed. “He’s pissed.”
I let out a heavy breath. “It’s okay. I figured he might be. Gabe is really protective, but we can work it out, right? He’ll come round.”
Alex shook his head. “I don’t know if he will. It’s a big deal, Charlotte. Bigger than anything—he was like a brother to me, and now he won’t take my calls at all.”
I frowned. It was strange that Gabe hadn’t called me about this at all.
“I’m sorry it didn’t go well. But we’ll talk to him some more, and once he realizes it’s serious, he might change his mind. He just needs time to process things. You know we’ve been through a lot, and it’s always just me and him. It might just take some time.”
Alex nodded slowly. “Yeah, maybe.” He really looked upset about it, and my heart went out to him. I wished he would have told me he was going to see my brother before he did. I would have told him what to expect, or I would have suggested I be there with him.
I’d had my hands full with the baby stuff this week, though, juggling morning sickness and my emotions that were all over the place with the plans for the future.
“There’s something else,” Alex said, and he looked even more grim.
“What?” What else could there possibly be?
Alex took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“I told you all about the project I want to start, the line of new energy-efficient yachts that will be a lot better for the environment.”
“Yeah. I remember. It’s such a great venture. I told Victoria Morgan all about it, and she’s excited, too.”
“I’m pulling the plug on it.”
I frowned. “What?”
His face was serious, his eyes dull.
“I had to look at the bigger picture, and unfortunately, it’s not something the company can afford right now.”
“What do you mean?” I didn’t know much about the business side of things like that.
“I mean, it’s just not cost-effective to go in that direction right now. I don’t know what the future might hold, but I have to look at the present. I’m the CEO of the company so I have a lot of people working under me, a lot of people who rely on the jobs I create.”
“You’re making it sound like you won’t make a lot of money doing it.”
“I guess when you look at the bottom line, that’s the summary. It’s more complicated than that, of course, but—”
“So, you’re pulling the plug for money.”
“That’s not what this is,” Alex said. He was already irritated. “That’s not what this is at all.”
“Then explain it to me.”
“We’re losing investors over it. If I can’t get investors to fund it, then the company goes down the drain.”
“What about your own money?”
“What about it?”
“You can’t put some of that in instead of relying on investors?”
“That’s not how this business works,” Alex said. “And I can’t ask my brothers to do something like that. It’s not fair of me to make a choice based on their money.”
I narrowed my eyes, trying to understand, but the truth was I couldn’t see it the way he saw it. All I heard was that if he did the right thing, he would lose money.
“So, this is either about saving the environment or making a lot of money.”
“No,” Alex said.
“What do you mean, ‘no’?”
“It’s a lot more complicated than that. I’m not your father, Charlotte.”
For some reason, bringing my dad into the mix hit a nerve, and I was suddenly furious.
“You know what?” I snapped. “It sounds a lot like you’re exactly like my dad.”
Alex was furious now, too.
“This isn’t about the money!”
“Of course it is! If you change, then you lose money. If you don’t, then you keep money. What am I getting wrong about that equation?”
“It’s not that simple,” he said again.
I shook my head. “You keep saying that, but I’m not seeing how there’s anything complicated about that fact.” My head hurt, and blood rushed in my ears. This wasn’t what I’d come here to talk about, but this was bigger than a baby right now.
Because if this was how Alex was going to be, I couldn’t be with him. How could I tie my life to someone who was exactly the person I’d been trying to avoid?
I’d thought Alex was different. Sure, he had a lot of money, but he was nothing like others in his position, always running after the money.
It turned out I was wrong.
Alex was exactly like the rest of them, and I wasn’t willing to live that life.
“I have to go,” I said.
“You’re just going to leave?”
“What do you want? Should I stay? Talk about this? We’re not going to see eye to eye.”
“You’ve already decided you want to see me in a certain light. It doesn’t matter what I do, you’re never going to see things differently.”
“Don’t pretend to know what I’m thinking,” I said hotly. “And I’m not just leaving because I’m not willing to talk about it. I’m leaving because I don’t think this thing between us is going to work.”
Alex stared at me. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. This isn’t working.”
“So, you’re just going to walk out on this, on us?”
I squared my shoulders. I hated that this was what it was coming to. “I guess that’s what I’m doing, yeah.”
Alex shook his head, and for a moment, he looked completely shattered. But then he slipped that expressionless mask back into place, and he was the cold businessman again, the man underneath, vulnerable and sensitive, gone completely.
“Fine,” he said coolly. “If that’s what you think is best.”
“I do.” I turned on my heel, marching out of the door. I could barely see where I was going with the tears blurring my eyes, but I wasn’t going to stop and turn back, and I sure as shit wasn’t going to tell him I was wrong.
Leaving him was the right thing to do. How could I live with someone, date him, love him, when he was just like my dad had been all along?
When I got into the car, I realized I hadn’t even told him about the baby. But that was fine—I would raise the child by myself. I didn’t need Alex.
I didn’t need anyone. I’d come this far alone, and I could keep going the way I was. I’d rather raise a baby the right way than have someone like Alex in their life who only cared about money. I knew how much that had hurt me, and I wouldn’t let Alex hurt our child.
Even if my heart was breaking into a million pieces and walking away from Alex was the hardest thing I’d ever done.