Chapter 27
PENN
As I step inside, I’m instantly greeted with the smell of freshly brewed coffee and the sounds of clanking silverware…
but the first thing my mind registers is Hazel.
My eyes are drawn immediately to her like she’s magnetic.
She’s standing at the kitchen counter with her back to me, silhouetted by the Sunday morning sunshine streaming through the window.
I take a moment to admire her. She’s barefoot and wearing plaid pajama pants and an oversized hoodie that I recognize as mine.
Her curly hair hangs loose down her back, and she shimmies her hips in time to a Shania Twain song playing from her phone as she slices a strawberry.
She looks completely in her element—happy, content, and cute as hell.
All I want is to go and wrap my arms around her.
To walk up behind her, pull her close, and feel the way her back would tuck perfectly against the front of my body.
But an action like that would be too familiar; would almost feel more intimate than our kisses.
This fake—but maybe not fake—relationship stuff gets more confusing by the day.
I’m not sure where the boundaries are anymore, but I do know I don’t want to cross them without consent.
“Good morning,” I murmur as I walk up beside her and wrap an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into a friendly side hug that seems safe.
Hazel leans her head against my shoulder, exhaling a happy little sigh that makes me wish I would’ve gone for the full hug.
She sinks into the side of my body and embraces me with her left arm like she missed me as much as I missed her.
I left yesterday morning for LA, where we played—and lost—an away game before flying back late last night.
It’s only been a couple of days since I’ve seen her, but it felt way longer.
She turns her head to peek up at me. “Welcome back! I thought you’d be hungry, so I made us both acai bowls.
” As if on cue, my stomach rumbles, which makes her smile. “I thought right, apparently.”
“You know me well.” I pull back and jump up to take a seat on the counter next to where she’s working. She has two white bowls piled high with fresh fruit, granola, and chia seeds. I reach for a strawberry slice, but she slaps my hand away.
“Manners, Playboy,” she mock-scolds me. “We’re going to eat at the table, not straight from the cutting board like barbarians.”
“I thought you were into barbarians,” I say with a wink, sliding off the counter and placing my hands on her waist to tickle her.
She squeals and moves to duck out of the way, but I hold onto her arm and spin her around ’til she’s facing me. Hazel goes still, looking up at me with those gorgeous eyes, and then she surprises me by planting a hand in the center of my chest and kissing me.
Surprised but thrilled she took the initiative, I wrap both hands around her waist and pull her body against mine like I wanted to all along.
“Maybe I’m a little into barbarians,” she murmurs against my lips as she tangles her hands in my hair and runs her tongue against mine.
She tastes cool and sweet and perfect. A groan reverberates in my chest as I cup my hand around the back of her neck and tilt her head at the perfect angle to take our kiss deeper.
We only break apart when my stomach rumbles once more.
“I better feed you,” she says with a giggle, looking even more delicious than the acai bowls with her flushed cheeks and swollen lips.
“Let me help.” I pick up the cutting board and move around her to bring it to the sink where I scrub it clean. Once I’m done, I grab the knife and wash that, too.
She watches me with an awestruck expression, like I’ve just done something incredible instead of simply washing a couple of dishes.
“Thank you,” she says as she takes a couple of spoons out of a drawer and carries them to the dining table.
“For what?” I ask as I finish washing the last dish and set it in the drying rack. I grab the acai bowls that she expertly arranged and follow her to the table.
“For helping,” she says.
“Why wouldn’t I help? You made breakfast, the least I can do is clean up. It’s called teamwork.” I wink at her. “And we’re a good team.”
I’m shocked when Hazel’s eyes fill with tears. She furiously blinks them away, taking off her glasses to swipe at her face.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I take two steps until I’m right in front of her, then gently take her hands in mine, dragging them away from her face so I can look her in the eye. “What did I say?”
“Nothing!” Hazel exclaims hurriedly.
“You’re crying. It’s obviously not nothing.” I look down at her. “Tell me what I did so I can fix it.”
Hazel bites down on her cheek, shaking her head and looking away. Then, eventually, she says, “You’re just so…nice.”
“You’re crying because I’m nice?” I ask with a laugh.
“Yes!”
“I’m confused,” I tell her, still chuckling.
She swallows, and when her eyes meet mine again, the tears are gone, but her expression is blank. “So am I,” she says softly.
My heart stutters, a glimmer of something that feels like hope rushes through me—has she also been wondering what happens after Chadwick moves out and our fake dating agreement is fulfilled? Could she possibly be hoping for…more?
“Hazel, I—” I start, unsure what I’m about to say, but before I can say anything, the door to the apartment flies open, and Chad-dick strides in, his timing as terrible as always.
“Hazel, I have good news!” he bellows as he enters the apartment and displeasure gathers in my stomach. I hate that he lives here and has this kind of access to her.
Hazel quickly disentangles her hands from mine and shoves her glasses back on, and my question—whatever it was going to be—shrivels and dies on my tongue as Chadwick walks towards us.
“What is it?” Hazel asks in a bored tone.
She doesn’t look, or sound, happy to see him, which makes me relax—a little. But she also didn’t exactly look happy before he burst in here and ruined the moment for me to ask her about us—about what we are, and what we could possibly be.
“Ta-da!” Chadwick comes to a stop and makes stupid jazz hands in the direction of his leg, and for the first time since he burst in here, I smile. Because he’s wearing a pair of sneakers, no boot in sight. Which means he must almost be healed up and ready to move his sorry ass back to Sacramento.
“I thought you had another week with the boot?” Hazel asks, and I swallow at the realization of what this might mean.
“I did, but my PT said my body is in such peak condition, I healed up early,” Chadwick preens, and I refrain from rolling my eyes.
“Nice,” Hazel says, her tone a little brighter. “That means you’ll be moving out soon, right?”
Chadwick laughs and shoots her a patronizing glance, like her sassing him is adorable—which, in turn, makes my hackles rise. “It does. But I’ll still have check-ups to attend, so I’ll be coming back to visit often.” He winks at her. “You can’t get rid of me that easily, babe.”
I know he’s putting on a show for my benefit, trying to wind me up.
Usually, I wouldn’t rise to his bait, but that strange, teary interaction I just had with Hazel—coupled with the realization that our agreement, which I was already dreading the end of, is about to finish early—has my nerves tightly wound.
“Don’t call my girlfriend ‘babe,” I say through gritted teeth before I can stop myself. “She’s not your babe…she’s not your anything.”
Chadwick takes in the look on my face, clocks the obvious jealousy there, and his expression morphs into a self-satisfied smile. He knows he’s got me.
I mentally kick myself for being so stupid as to let him get under my skin.
“Matthews,” Chadwick exclaims like he’s just spotted me standing here.
“My bad. Old habits die hard. Hazel and I were together for so long, and with all the history between our families…” He smiles, all teeth, and I want to knock every single one of those pearly whites out of his thick skull.
“Oh, speaking of history, I spoke to Bethany last night, Hazel.”
Who the hell’s Bethany?
Hazel’s eyebrows narrow on him. “You did?”
“Sure. She called me when I was driving back from my team meeting in Sacramento.” Chadwick leans against the table and helps himself to a banana slice from her bowl. Hazel glares at him pointedly.
“Why would my mom call you?”
I knew Chadwick’s and Hazel’s parents were friends, but my stomach turns at the realization that Hazel’s ex is on a first name basis with her mom, while I didn’t know her mom’s name. In fact, all I know about her mom is how much she disapproves of me.
Chad-dick chews loudly, smirking. “We still like to catch up. Check in from time to time. She was telling me how Cory recently got that promotion your dad put him forward for—he’ll be an amazing executive assistant.”
Hazel blinks. “Yeah, I’m proud of him.”
“Who’s Cory?” I demand, looking at Hazel.
Before she can answer me, Chadwick bursts into laughter.
“Are you telling me you don’t even know Hazel’s brother’s name, Matthews?” He hoots, looking absolutely delighted. “That’s kind of pathetic. How long have you guys been dating for, like over a month? At least make an effort to ask a question or two about your supposed serious girlfriend’s family.”
“I guess we’re too busy getting to know each other on an intimate level to talk about her brother much,” I say quickly, but Chadwick’s smirk tells me he knows as well as I do that it’s a piss-poor attempt on my part to gain some ground in this conversation.
She’s never once mentioned her brother to me. I didn’t even know she had one.
Chadwick raises his brows smugly. “I guess I wanted to know Hazel on a deeper level than just physically.”
“Our families already knew each other,” Hazel groans.
She looks pissed, but I’m not sure if she’s pissed with Chadwick for all his bullshit, or with me for being a terrible fake boyfriend by not knowing her brother’s name and then insinuating I’m just here for the physical stuff and not for getting to know the intimate areas of her life.
Which is totally not even close to true—and was obviously the wrong thing to say.
My chest clenches with the realization that maybe this just illustrates how I’m not cut out for a real relationship…that in important moments where I should know what to say or do for the people that matter to me, I still go and do the opposite.
Chadwick reaches for another banana slice but this time Hazel slaps his hand away.
“We’d like to have our breakfast uninterrupted, please.”
Chadwick snorts a laugh. “Okay, well, don’t let me spoil your little romantic breakfast date—sounds like you guys have a lot to talk about. Right, Matthews?”
I don’t bother responding. Because maybe this chump has an actual point.
“Bye, Chadwick,” Hazel says in annoyance.
He yanks another slice of fruit from her bowl before she can stop him again, then winks at me—he might be the one leaving, but he knows he’s won this round.
“Have fun, you two. Maybe after you tell him about Cory, Haze, Matthews can tell you all about his family. I’m sure there are plenty of wholesome stories he’s dying to share about the things he and his dad used to get up to. I know a few myself, actually—”
“Hazel asked you to leave,” I cut him off, my heart pounding in my chest. I know he’s talking about that one story in particular that I’m not ready to talk to her about yet.
I should tell Hazel everything about my dad, but I’ve been putting it off for the sole fact that I don’t want her to look at me differently after she hears it.
“And leave I will. Guess I’ll see you on the ice next week in Sacramento, Matthews.”
I almost forgot we were playing the Fire Cats at their home arena next week—I hadn’t been expecting Chadwick to be playing again.
“I’ll be ready,” I respond evenly.
“I doubt you’ll be ready for what I have in store,” Chadwick says, and I snort a laugh.
We’ve kicked the Fire Cats asses the past two times we’ve played them and I’m sure we’ll do it for a third time in a few days.
“Bring it on,” I tell him, and a cruel smile flickers on his face.
“You asked for it.”
He finally lets himself out of the apartment and I’m just glad he’s gone.
The moment the door shuts, Hazel turns to me, eyes wide. “I’m so sorry about him; he’s such a jerk.”
I scrub a hand over my face, suddenly feeling drained. “Can we…just not talk about it?” Her face falls, and I force my own expression into a reassuring smile. “You made this great breakfast, and I don’t want to let him spoil it.”
“Okay,” she agrees, and we sit down to eat.
But delicious as the food must be, I can barely taste it.
Before Chadwick burst in, I was on the verge of asking Hazel about the idea of continuing to be an “us” when our clock runs out…
and now I don’t know if she’s feeling any of what I feel, or if I’m just a simp who still doesn’t know when he’s deluding himself by thinking someone could care about him in that way.
I don’t want to have to learn the same lesson twice about love. I look over at beautiful, perfect Hazel with a lump in my throat… I'm not sure I’d survive it this time.