49. Sie
FORTY-NINE
SIE
Greyland was still unconscious when I came back to the healer’s tent with a delirious Lilia.
I need you here. I found Peter’s mind the moment I came back. A fly flew past my head before it transformed into my friend.
“What’s wrong? Is everything okay—” His voice stopped as soon as he saw Lilia standing beside the cot. She’d been staring down at Greyland like she saw a ghost from the moment I brought her in here.
“Lilia.” Peter pulled his sister into a hug, forcing her to look away from my brother.
She tensed before she realized it was Peter, then hugged him back just as tightly. She started sobbing the next second, and I think Peter might have been as well.
I always found it strange whenever I saw them together. Grey and I were close but from a distance. We grew up without love and affection, and if a family hug lasted more than two seconds, we were reprimanded.
But the Fervics were the complete opposite of the Norens. They were the warmest, most affectionate Advenians I’d ever encountered.
I wasn’t sure how long it was before the two of them pulled away again, both smiling, shaking, and sobbing. They were speaking to each other, but I didn’t give it any attention until Peter turned toward me.
“How did you get her?” he asked, wiping a tear away, before wrapping his arm around his sister.
Lilia was fine, minus dark circles under her eyes, she was unharmed. Somehow my brother managed to get her to the cabin before he got himself caught.
I looked down at Greyland. He wasn’t much better from when I first left him, and I still wasn’t sure if he was going to make it.
“I had Kallon portal me to Tennebris to get her.” I noticed Lilia staring down at my brother again.
Peter tugged his ear with his free hand.
What? I asked.
Why didn’t you get me?
I didn’t know the state she was going to be in, I admitted. All Greyland said was her name. I had no idea if he actually saved her.
Peter nodded, and I knew it was something we’d be discussing later.
“Is he okay?” Lilia asked, biting her lip.
“Grey said something about not getting to your parents,” I diverted. “I don’t think they made it.”
Lilia gasped, but she didn’t look surprised. She just kept staring at my brother with tears streaming down her face.
I knew Peter was fighting off tears of his own.
Peter found me in the healer’s tent later that night. Greyland had been sleeping for the past two hours, but I still couldn’t find it in myself to leave him.
How is he? Peter asked once I entered his mind. I didn’t want to risk waking him. Ever since he’d first woken up, he’s only managed to stay conscious for a couple hours at a time, and even though the healers reiterated that he was going to be okay, I was having a hard time believing it. I wouldn’t until he was able to walk out of this tent without any pain.
As good as he can be, I replied. I hadn’t told him about our mother yet. I was terrified because whenever Greyland did wake up, I knew beyond any physical pain, finding out our mother died would hit him the hardest. He loved her. He was always so much closer to her than I was, and I had no idea how I was going to break the news to him. There was no way in hell I was telling him she died saving him. He didn’t need the guilt. I just hadn’t figured out what I was going to tell him yet.
How’s Vallie? I asked, not wanting to think about my brother right now because anytime I did, I was seconds away from crumbling.
Freaking horrible. She’s … his words died on his lips.
She’s going to be okay, I said, trying to sound encouraging. Even if she’d never be the same again, at least she was alive, something I couldn’t say for half of either of our families.
I know, he sighed and slumped further into his chair. The healer’s tent was still full, but at least there were empty seats now. I’m also worried about Lilia.
How’s she holding up? I asked.
Peter shrugged. She’s been crying a lot. I brought her into a communal tent to sleep, but she’s really shaken up. She keeps talking about how our parents’ death are her fault. How she should have turned back for them, but when I ask her to elaborate, she doesn’t.
I nodded. Greyland wouldn’t talk either. I had asked him during one of his bouts of consciousness how he got captured, but he wouldn’t tell me. I couldn’t blame him. I hated opening up and talking about things, but I knew it was unusual for Peter. They told each other everything.
She’s been asking about him too. Peter gestured toward Greyland who was still sleeping on the cot in front of us. I’ve been telling her he’s fine. I’m not lying to her, am I?
I sucked in a breath. No, I answered, even if I didn’t believe it myself.
Good, Peter said, and I saw him nod in my periphery, before he placed his head between his hands. I feel like the world’s shittest brother, he admitted.
I didn’t comment right away. I didn’t know how because Peter just voiced exactly what I’d been thinking all day. Greyland was beaten and tortured because of me. I should have thought about them. I should have told Peter about the cabin, and we could have checked it. We could have gotten Lilia out sooner, and I would have realized the King had my brother before the broadcast even started. Maybe it could have changed things, maybe my parents would still be alive.
You’re not, Peter, I finally said, because it was my guilt to bear, not his.
I didn’t think about her once, Sie—
Peter, we had a lot going on, I cut him off, knowing exactly where this was headed.
I know, but it still doesn’t change what happened. He blew out a breath. There’s a zero on her wrist, but she won’t talk to me about it…
I nodded, already knowing Lilia was branded and Greyland wasn’t. It was one of the last orders Synder made before I was sentenced to the prison. He forced all zeroes to become servants, even if they were still in school. She’s safe, Peter, that’s all that matters now.
We sat in silence after that, both watching Greyland as he slept. It wasn’t until hours later that he finally stirred.
“Peter,” he murmured, his voice laced with sleep. His left eye was still swollen shut, but now blood was starting to drip from it, and it was taking everything in me not to freak the fuck out about it. It wasn’t like that before the broadcast—
“Good to see you, Little Noren.” Peter smiled. Any speck of worry and grief washed off his face for my brother’s sake, and I could have hugged him for it.
“I… Lilia—” He started to get up again, the blanket falling over his waist.
“I got her, Grey,” I said, gently pushing him back down onto the mattress. “You need to stop moving or you’ll puncture a lung. You have five broken ribs…”
I watched as my brother sagged into the cot. We’d had this same conversation three times now, but every time I told him Lilia was safe, he passed out again.
Now his gaze slid to me. “Where is she?” he asked, not caring that I just told him how severely messed up he was. His breathing was shallow, and I knew it hurt to inhale. I’d broken a rib before, but never five.
“She’s fine. She’s getting some sleep,” Peter said.
“I couldn’t get to your parents… They weren’t home when everything happened… and then…”
“It’s okay, Greyland. It’s not your fault.” Peter’s smirk vanished, his fun-loving front gone, as tears threatened to pool in his eyes again. He leaned forward, resting his hand over my brother’s. “Thank you for saving her, Grey.”