Chapter 17 Hot Mess
Hot mess
Sophia
I haven’t slept that hard since the fire. And I think this is the first time I haven’t had some sort of nightmare about it.
Standing in front of the mirror, I check out the lingering bruises on my hip from his fingers, then watch my cheek tick up into a smile.
Fuck, he was amazing.
Perfect.
Everything I wanted.
I kinda wish I had seen his face. Would I even recognize him if I passed him on the street?
All I caught were flashes. Broad shoulders and firm hands.
Ah yes, totally sketch artist worthy.
My blue eyes roll at myself in my reflection. When I toss my hair back, I spot the bright red blemish below my ear that he left with his teeth.
Geez.
Heat climbs up my neck, flushing the rest of my throat in pink.
He’ll only kiss me once I love him?
There’s no way that can happen until I get to know him.
Now that he’s set the rule, it makes me question everything.
Is this what I want?
I did last night.
Trying to imagine sitting and watching a movie together, or going out to eat, after that?
What would it be like if he went slow? Gently?
Would it be the same?
Or better?
The thought of his lips touching every part of my body makes my skin tingle in the cool morning as I pull on my clothes.
I want there to be a next time.
He said he does too.
There’s a crazy urge in me to text and ask if he can come back.
But the tiny part of my rational mind still working is telling me to wait. Give it a few days.
I have to get my horse loaded and head home anyways.
My thighs burn as I follow the familiar path past the campers. Are they sore from him, or the rigorous hours of training I’ve been putting myself through the last few days?
Fuck, so many more questions than answers.
Biggie.
Will I ever know his name?
“Oliver Brookes! What the hell are you doing?” I turn the corner in time to see him and his brother pulling out the bales of my hay from the bunk behind the stalls.
He freezes, his jaw clenching under his short auburn beard to stare at me.
“Just helping get these out where you can reach them,” the younger of the two pipes up.
But when he looks up at me, he swallows hard, then jerks his thumb towards Oliver. “It was his idea.”
I try to take a steadying breath to tamp down the irritation raging through me. “Thanks. Except now it’s in the mud.” I glower at both of them.
“Give me some credit,” Oliver mutters, crossing his arms over his chest.
I think he’s doing that just to make his biceps bulge. Well, he won’t intimidate me.
“I used some of our old shit to put down first.” He points with his worn leather glove. “We all know how particular you are about your alfalfa.”
The jerk has the audacity to smirk at me.
“Which is why I don’t want anyone messing with it.” I raise my chin, glaring down my nose at him.
His eyes drop to my neck and his nostrils flare ever so slightly.
“Fine. Come on Brent.” He peels off his gloves and shoves them into the back pocket of his tight jeans.
When he steps past me, he pauses. “But you might want to get one of your boyfriends to help you. There’s still four more bales.”
My knuckles dig into my hips. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I can get them on my own.”
The corner of his lip twitches like he’s fighting a smile, then he nods as he saunters away.
Brent tips his hat in my direction before double-timing it after his asshole brother.
Well, shit.
I guess it’s time to go get my truck and start loading.
This pile looks almost the same size as what I unloaded.
Damn it. Me and my mouth. I really could have used the extra set of hands.
My phone dings, startling me out of my pity party to make my heart race.
TheBigO: How does it feel to walk around with my mark on your neck, showing the world that you’re mine?
Oh fuck. Why is that so hot?
RacingQueen: That I want more, so everyone knows.
TheBigO: They will when your belly swells with my baby.
Cold sweat runs down my back.
How will I make it to Vegas if I’m pregnant? Crap, I’d be due then.
Son of a bitch. I didn’t think of that.
No way. The odds are so small, it didn’t happen.
I’ll make him wear protection next time.
Fate.
We’ll see. I doubt it.
I was dumb in high school and had unprotected sex, but nothing happened.
It won’t this time either.
Mom had a hard time conceiving. Dad told me after she died how badly she wanted us and struggled for years before she had us.
I think it was on her side, because he sure doesn’t have a problem making babies with Lori.
That makes me snort. Every time I turn around they’re having another.
But I love them all so much.
I really do want my own.
What is wrong with me? I even told Biggie that’s what I wanted.
How can he be so perfect, checking off everything on my list, and I’m the hot mess with all of the conflicting dreams?
By the last bale, I’m exhausted, my arms are heavy, and I’m ready for a nap.
Yet I still have a six hour drive home.
Misty walks easily up the ramp like a pro.
Well, she is one.
After this grueling training trip, I’ll give her a few days off too.
The first event isn’t until Valentine’s, and it’s just an expo. A chance for everyone to pick up a few more sponsors before the season starts.
Letting out a long exhale, I settle behind the steering wheel and flip through my phone to my audiobooks until I find one of my old favorites.
Historical romance about a mountain man and his mail order bride. Forced together, but they fall in love.
Will that be my life?
RacingQueen: I’m heading home. I have a new book for you to read.
TheBigO: Drive safe. Enjoy it while you can, by the end of summer you’ll be living with me.
The great big balls on this man.
But heat spreads through my chest at the idea.
I don’t even know him.
Except there’s a lingering truth to the thought that I’m going to earn his kiss by then too.