Chapter 18 How Cruel is Fate?
How cruel is fate?
Oliver
I’m sure Brent wondered why I was fiddle-fucking around, dragging my feet before I left the fairgrounds.
It’s all to make sure she got out safely.
Now that I know who she is and seeing my teeth mark on her neck made blood rush to my groin that the Sophia I knew the day before never did.
She’s mine, except she doesn’t know who I am.
When I made the comment about other boyfriends, the confusion in her bright blue eyes was genuine.
It changes everything knowing she let me in. That she puts on this big show of bravado while secretly wanting to be owned makes me want to scoop her up and lock her away.
But I think it’s more than that.
She wants someone she can rely on. To protect her.
Choose her no matter what.
It’s hard to connect the person I’ve known to the woman in the texts. They’re so different in the light of day.
Yet now that I’m looking at her with secret insight, I can see the truth.
She trusts me with her body, giving in when every piece of her publicly fights to maintain control.
Can I be that person?
With Paige, I sat back, letting her do whatever she wanted.
And it bit me in the ass.
Maybe the mistake was never allowing my own expectations?
With RQ, shit, Sophia, I can lay it all out.
She practically begs me for it.
RacingQueen: Made it home. Suddenly wishing you weren’t so far away.
She doesn’t know I followed her nearly the entire way at a distance to be sure.
TheBigO: Same. This is the part I’d like to skip to get back to being in the same bed as you.
I can’t wait to touch her again. How cruel is fate that I’ll be seeing her nearly every day at the ranch? Does that mean I’m starting to believe in it?
I have to be patient. After seeing the fire in her eyes over the hay, it’s going to be an act of God for her to accept that I’m the same man that had her crying out in ecstasy.
By the next morning, my palms are itching with the need to feel her.
This is going to be hell.
Turning into Black Gulch, my heart hammers in the hope that I’ll see her.
RacingQueen: I didn’t have bad dreams after you were there. I had them again last night.
Damn it.
Pulling in front of the main house, the big dumpster out front is piled high with burnt debris that has been stripped from the building.
Oh good, Denny and Mike are here already.
TheBigO: What were they about?
I hope I’ve earned a little more trust from her.
Stepping into the massive log structure, I follow the sound of voices and wood splintering to see Mike, red faced and huffing as he pries on a big grizzly bar while Denny chips at a charred piece of wall.
With this kind of damage, I have a pretty good idea what she’d be having nightmares about. Seeing the destruction with the new knowledge is sobering.
I didn’t even know her, but I could have lost her.
RacingQueen: My grandparents died in a fire on Christmas.
Glancing around the room feels like a punch to the guts. Part of the roof is gone, covered with a billowing tarp.
When I came for the initial walk through, it was still in rubble over a bed. The posters that were on the wall are missing, but I think they had horses on them with some ribbons along the shelf.
Is this Sophia’s room?
“You okay?” Denny looks at me under gray bushy brows. “You just went white as a ghost.”
“Yea.” I hold up my cell. “Just need a minute.”
Turning on my heel, I move back into the hall and take a deep breath.
TheBigO: I’m so sorry. If I was there, I’d hold you tight enough you’d feel safe to sleep.
RacingQueen: I know you would. Soon, right?
The little heart that she finishes with makes my own skip a beat.
She has no idea I’m literally standing outside her door. Or that I could be where she’s sleeping in a single thirty second sprint.
Tempting.
TheBigO: When you’re ready. Do you want to tell me about them?
Those three tiny dots pop up and disappear, so she must be typing.
Sliding my phone into my pocket, I step back to where my guys are working.
“I’m going to get the owner so we can do a walk-around. How much more demo outside of this room is left?” I’d say at a glance no more than one or two days for this section.
Mike’s tongue works over the wad of tobacco in his lower lip. “We’ll be done here this afternoon pulling everything down. Then we were gonna go get the Bobcat to clean up the rest.” He waves towards the end of the building.
There isn’t much left of that part of the house.
Fuck. I bet this blaze lit up three counties.
RacingQueen: Grandma never met a baby she didn’t love.
And Grandpa had this ability to ramble on stories that don’t seem to fit at the time until you think about them later.
They stayed with my brother and me when my mom died.
I think it’s the only reason we survived because my dad was broken after that.
I am starting to understand that feeling that Mason would have had. Just seeing how close Sophia came to being lost in the inferno leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
It’s much colder here than it was in Oregon. My exhales fog around my face with every step closer to where Mason said he’d be.
Nerves rankle through me as my knuckles rap on the entrance.
Shit, I’m more anxious about seeing her than I am before any rodeo.
“Mornin’ Oliver.” Mason pulls the door open and steps back. “Come on in.”
Do I dare?
Crossing the threshold feels like I’m in forbidden territory.
“Coffee? We can take it with us.” Mason moves towards the kitchen and pulls down an extra mug before I can reply.
“Thank you.” My phone dings, making a flood of adrenaline rush through me.
Is she here? Just beyond that wall?
While he pours, I manage to discreetly check the new text.
RacingQueen: I miss them more than anything. Even more than my mom. Is that wrong? They were married for almost fifty years, and died together in their sleep. That’s the kind of love I want, like the books where you just don’t want to live without the other person.
Mason hands me a steaming cup, then points to fridge. “Milk? Sugar’s next to you in the bowl.”
His wedding ring glints under the halogen.
“I’m fine, I appreciate it,” I grunt, taking a sip of the black coffee.
He steps past me to the hall and cracks the door to dip his head through. “Lori, I’ll be at the house with the contractor.”
“Sounds good, baby.” A woman’s muffled voice barely makes it out to me.
He comes back with a crooked smile. “She has both of the boys sleeping next to her.” Pulling his Carhartt coat down from the rack, he slides his arms in before retrieving his mug.
The sound of a text hitting my phone is interrupted by a latch opening that makes me freeze.
“Dad?” Sophia begins to step into the hall and pauses with a scowl.
Are her eyes red rimmed?
Fuck.
Pain knifes into my chest knowing she’s hurting and I can’t do anything about it.
Yet her gaze narrows when she looks at me.
One of these days she’ll know.
“Yea, honey?” He pulls his cowboy hat down from the shelf and sets it over his ears.
“Can you tell him to do the shower that we talked about?” She blinks at me with a furrow in her forehead.
“Good to see you again, Sophia.” I try to keep my tone level even if I’m itching to move to her.
Shit. It’s so hard knowing that she’s the one who I’ve been longing for, but I’m trapped in this game.
Her nose wrinkles. “Too soon.” Whipping around, she disappears back into her room.
I hear Mason let out a sigh, then he motions me to follow him outside.
Matching his pace crossing the yard, I’m thankful for his brisk strides to distract me.
“Babies are easier,” he grumbles, but shows off a grin when he glances at me. “She broke her leg a couple of years ago pretty badly, so she wanted to make sure that there wasn’t a tub this time, just one of those walk-in units so she doesn’t have to step in and out.”
“That sounds awful.” I vaguely remember hearing something about one of the barrel racers crashing in Missoula.
I didn’t realize it was her.
Hell, she’s tough as nails.
“It was. Shattered her femur,” he grunts as he climbs the porch. “She was laid up for months. That’s when Lori came down to help out.”
“Your wife?” I didn’t expect that twist.
He nods. “Yep. Now we have two boys with a third on the way.” Leading me towards the devastated wing of the building, he pauses. “This is why I needed the extra room built, we may have more.”
“Ah, that makes sense. Extra ranch hands?” I chuckle as I pull out my notebook.
His laugh echoes against the bare walls of the hall. “You have kids?”
If I did everything right, I will.
“Not yet. Soon I hope.” I’m not sure what he’d say if he knew who I’m wanting to be the mother.
“They’re the best thing in the world.” His voice softens. “Have as many as you can.”
I glance down at my phone.
RacingQueen: Can we be like them? Like the couples in the stories? Find comfort in each other and raise a family?
I type my reply, then repeat the same words for Mason.
“I plan on it.”