Chapter 12
MATTY
Lee kisses like he’s done it all his life. Not just kissing but kissing me. My lips are numb, and my tongue tingles with every pass and press of Lee’s.
His hands explore my skin like it’s a work of art: slow and meticulous, trading off between sensual strokes of his fingers and the scrape of his fingernails over my sides.
My arms around his neck serve as an anchor to the reality that I finally—fucking finally—get to have a taste of Elias Lee. It’s fucking indescribable how my body lights up for him, how it burns so goddamn hot for the barest touch.
It became impossible to deny the effect he has on me the night his sister called.
The moment that I knew we looked like a couple, and I was already playing the dutiful boyfriend waiting for him to come home.
All because I wanted to hear his voice, to feel the soft drag of his fingers in my hair, his smile into my shoulder.
Lee’s desire for affection infected me, and now I crave every little interaction.
It goes beyond attraction. Beyond lust.
I’m falling for this man at a speed that terrifies me.
We both want this, but I know neither of us are ready for more. There’s still healing to be done, patches to be made to the worn out parts of my heart that haven’t seen action since I covered them up and kissed Riley goodbye.
Right this moment, we’re both done pretending that we want—that we’re capable—of fighting the pull we have on each other. Wrapping my arms around him, kissing him until my lungs ache, it’s the most natural thing in the world.
His hands refuse to be satisfied; they go over every inch of skin again and again until I’m parting my legs and hooking them around his thighs.
“Matty.” His voice wraps around my heart, sinks into the very core of me, and stokes the fire growing hotter in my belly.
“God. The fantasies I have about you,” I mumble into his mouth, gripping his hair to guide his lips to my neck. Maybe he’ll leave me a couple of marks so I can’t convince myself this really was a fever dream.
His lips suck softly on the skin below my ear, eliciting an excited shudder across my upper body.
“You mean like my mouth on your neglected cock?” He whispers the words against the shell of my ear, trailing his lips across my jaw.
“Little sneak,” I groan as he flicks the tip of his tongue at the seam of my lips—as if he even needs to go through the motions of permission.
That was him on my site.
Thinking about him reading through the secret things I’ve thought—the ways I’ve imagined him turning me inside out—turns me on even more.
He breaks our connection and holds me by the back of the neck to keep me still, but jokes on him that I can barely fucking breathe and need to catch my breath anyway.
“Remember when you said you wished I could feel how hot you are for me?” Even his hot breath across my already warm cheeks makes me horny. “I could touch you.” He lowers his voice, sets his hands on my hips and pulls me closer, until my pelvis is flush against his hips. “Or I could taste you.”
Even my fucking ears are red. Elias’ hands. His mouth. Any and every part of him is welcome on my body.
A moan breaks free from my lips, and it takes every ounce of self control I have to drop my hands to his chest and push him back. Not far; a couple of inches, but it’s enough for him to pinch his brows and bite down on his lip in barely contained concern.
“I would love nothing more than for you to get on your knees and suck me off,” I say, trying not to get distracted by the heat in his gaze that follows. “But you said you’d never even kissed a guy before, let alone been sexual with one. Don’t you think we should slow down a little?”
Lee blows out a breath and relaxes some of the sexual tension flowing through his body. His hands settle gently on my waist, and I drop my legs from where they’re still around his.
“Matty.” There he goes with that deep rumble of my name again. “Just because I’ve never been with a man doesn’t mean I have to act like a virgin again. I’m into sex with you just as much, if not more than, anyone else I’ve been with.”
Despite all the spit we’ve swapped, my mouth feels painfully dry. I wet my lips a couple of times, and when he strokes my bottom lip with his thumb, I realize I’m trembling.
“You’ve also never been with a trans man,” I whisper, eyes aimed anywhere but where I can see the look in his. “That’s a whole other can of worms.”
Lee’s lips touch the top of my head, and then he tilts me back with the hand on my chin. His eyes hold a note of seriousness and earnestness that makes my heart race worse than it already is.
“Teach me your body.” His mouth hovers over mine, fingers digging into my cheeks and thigh, thumb threatening to sink beneath the towel I’m still wearing.
“I don’t care about other men, about their bodies or their pleasure.
What I care about is you. Yours. I have spent weeks thinking about what turns you on. ”
He laughs, and it tickles my cheeks. “It's kind of ridiculous, honestly. How much I want to make you happy. Make you feel good.”
His lips close over mine in the most gentle kiss, soft and inviting as his hand slides back to tangle in my hair. My head falls back at the slightest tug, and my lips part for him in anticipation.
“So if you want me to suck your cock, Matty? Lose the goddamn towel and let me get my mouth on you.”
It's a pure, primal need that has me fumbling with the knot in my towel, picking blindly as Lee’s eyes bore headily into mine until the knot finally comes loose. I want my hands on him again, but the nerves are also ricocheting through my system like cannon fire.
This is the uncomfortable part. I need him to see me—to really fucking see me—and be okay with it. More than that. Hell, I need him to be enthusiastically on board with my body.
He places a chaste kiss on my lips, following as I bear my weight back on my hands. My thighs spread tentatively, towel completely falling away, and Lee’s eyes trail from my face, down my chest, stopping at my exposed dick.
Six years on testosterone has given me a solid inch of bottom growth. When I’m as hard as I am now, I can maybe chalk it up to an inch and a half.
I squeeze my eyes shut, the build up of what it might feel like for Elias to touch me is too strong against the electric current of anxiety zipping beneath my skin.
Please don’t freak out. Please don’t freak out. Please do—
“Oh fuck.” The whispered curse falls heavy between us, and then his hands—Elias’ hands—lay flat on the tops of my thighs.
I can’t fucking breathe.
One tiny gasp, a choked sound, is all I manage before warm softness pillows my mouth in the single most frenzied yet unhurried kiss known to man. His fingers move inward as his tongue prods around my mouth like an explorer.
“You’re so fucking sexy,” he groans into the kiss, and I let the wall take the brunt of my weight so I can sling my arm around his neck.
I need him closer, dammit. So much fucking closer.
“Yeah?” My voice is thick with awe and disbelief, and Elias is quick to silence the worry.
“Fuck yeah.” He presses his grin to the side of my neck, licking and biting at the skin.
“I want to touch you.” His tongue flicks into the dip of my collarbone, evoking a flurry of goosebumps.
“Want to taste you.” Thick, curious fingers brush through my pubic hair, and I cling to him with a harrowing desperation.
“Matty.” His lips are making their way down my chest, stopping to play soft and experimental with my nipples, tracing his tongue along the outline of my scars, and driving me fucking wild. “I want to fuck you.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Too fast. Too much.
He spreads me open with his fingers—so fucking gentle—and teases my dick with his thumb.
“Lee,” I whimper, wrapping both trembling arms around his neck. He rubs me in slow circles, pressing down in different directions, stroking all along the shaft until he finds the spot that makes me shake all over. “I’m too pent up. If you don’t stop, I’ll come.”
“That’s not a deterrent, sweetheart.”
Yeah, the nicknames are going to get me there a hell of a lot faster.
My hips rock up to meet his strokes, begging him closer to the exact spot where my body wants him. Screw being simply horny; right this very moment I can’t think of anything other than how badly I want to push him down and shove myself on his throbbing cock twitching against my thigh.
I don’t know how the hell this man can already be pushing every single one of my buttons just right, but I’m not going to complain. Call it chemistry, call it fucking destiny; all I know is there’s no stopping the wave of absolute ecstasy rolling over me.
“Lee. Lee. Lee.” I bite down on his shoulder to quiet the scream building like lava in my throat.
He scrapes a nail lightly over the head of my dick, middle finger stroking the crease just below. I shake my head, and he pauses, backs off, focuses more intently on my dick swelling as the pending orgasm rises higher and higher.
I want him there but not now; not yet. Not until I’ve had a chance to touch him.
“Please come for me, Princess,” he whispers hungrily into my ear. “I need to see you fall apart.”
A full blown sob breaks free of my lungs, tears spill over that I hide at the base of his throat, and my stomach tightens so intensely that my entire body goes taut. I feel the release in my bones, so deep that the aftershocks nearly set me off again.
Cum trickles out of my hole, the crest of my orgasm rolling through me as I hold tight to Lee. He's a fucking gentleman, that's for sure, touching me just lightly enough to prolong the pleasure but not overstimulate me.
When I shudder hard and hiss through my teeth, he rests his hands on my thighs and presses his cheek to the top of my head.
“Beautiful,” he says with a content sigh, and I’m acutely aware of every little place we touch. “That was perfect.”
Tears prickle at my eyes again, and I drop a wet kiss to his sternum.
God, I’m wiped.
Elias pulls back, kissing the top of my head and stroking a hand down my back. My body shudders, accepting the brief press of his lips just beneath my fluttering eyelids.
He crouches down and peers between my legs, holding them open with a firm grip. It’s embarrassing as fuck, but I’m too blissed out to put up a fight. Not that I really want to.
My cheeks burn at how intently he looks at me, at the wide-eyed, lust-blown wonder as he touches me slow and soft. Mortification takes its turn as he dips a tentative finger in the mess leaking from my hole.
Maybe we should have had a more in-depth talk before jumping into orgasms.
I look away for a second, drop my head back to stare at the ceiling and collect myself, and I'm taken completely off guard by Lee’s tongue probing and lapping at the wetness below my dick.
My hands fly to his hair, death gripping it as a fresh wave of arousal coils in my gut.
He said he wanted to taste me.
I'm so close to begging him to fuck me, because there's no way in hell I can fight this attraction anymore. I want to offer up my body to him on a goddamn silver platter.
Fuck me. Play with me. Tease me through orgasm after orgasm until I can barely form a coherent thought.
Slow down, I tell myself. Check in. Make sure he's okay.
I don't get the chance. A distant rap that sounds a lot like knocking makes me crack my eyes open.
“Elias,” I breathe, and his full name seems to get his attention. He swirls his tongue around my spent dick, giving it a languid suck before pushing to his feet.
“You okay?”
I nod, face flushing impossibly darker. “I think someone's here.”
He tilts his head, listening, but his fingers are still playing. Drawing circles on my skin, stroking my thighs as they quiver, as my whole body becomes one live wire.
“Ah.” He clicks his tongue, having heard the same thing I did, but doesn't appear to be in any rush to get us out of here. “Don't worry about it. If it's important, they’ll call.”
I can't say I'm on board with his logic, but I'm also holding myself together with jelly and euphoria.
Just as he cups my face in his hand and brings our lips together, his phone dings from where it got tossed to the floor in our passion.
His brows dip, and he manages to locate the phone and retrieve it all while keeping a hand on me—as if I'm going anywhere.
Brown eyes wide in surprise, his expression turns sheepish. He cups my cheek in one of his warm palms and kisses me on the lips.
“Correction, we have company.”
Before I can ask, his phone rings, and he instantly accepts and puts the call on speaker.
“Before you yell, you should know I have Matty with me.”
I furrow my brow, but his lazy, amused smile eases some of the apprehension.
“Cute.”
I know that voice: it’s Lee’s sister. I flush a deep red all over. Every inch of my body feels hot and exposed.
“Put some clothes on and open the damn door, little brother.”