3. Olivia
3
OLIVIA
Gasping I sit up straight in bed, my body waking up because there is a bright light shining through the window.
“What time is it?” Ronny groans, his hand sliding under the back of my t-shirt to my bare back causing goosebumps to break out across my skin.
I reach over and grab my phone to see it’s seven o’clock in the morning. “We slept the rest of the evening and all night.” My voice is rough, and my arm is wrinkly from lying on it so long. “I have to get into work at nine.” I wanted to take the day off, but I had no one to cover my cases at such short notice.
Beside me, Ronny looks way too amazing for someone who’s just woken up in the morning. I smile at him and rest my head on his shoulder, kind of feeling cold while his body is like a furnace. “I have to admit, this is the first time in as long as I can remember that I never had a single nightmare.”
He cups the back of my neck, tilting my head so that I’m looking up at him. His lips on my forehead, he says, “That makes me happy. You shouldn’t have a single nightmare. Are they bad?”
I shake my head. “No, honestly, I have become immune to them to the point I don’t think twice about them anymore. I only noticed because I didn’t have any last night.
“It’s because you’re here, you make me feel safe. Keeping away the bad even in my sleep.” I’m honest with him, and it causes my stomach to clench waiting to see what he is going to say.
My body is lifted and turned so I’m on my back with Ronny above me, my legs on either side of his body. His hands are braced on my shoulders.
Holy shit.
My hands are trembling, sliding them up his forearm. If he would press himself closer to me, his bottom half, I would feel all of him. It takes all of my effort to not tilt my hips.
“The things I would do to protect you, angel. I would tear anyone apart with my bare hands who dares to harm you.” His eyes darken, and I know he means it.
“I know you would, and I love that you want to protect me. You’ve been my protector since I was fourteen years old.” I smile at that, thinking of how young we both were and even then, I knew.
I run my hands along his biceps, to his strong shoulders. “You’ve always been my Ronny.”
“You’ve always been my Olivia, my angel. I’m sure I drove my parents crazy with how much I talked about you all of those years.” He chuckles. “You had me fucked up from the start.”
I giggle, amazed that he wanted me for so long. “I worked so hard to heal, to not be so broken for you. You deserve to have the best version of me.”
“Darlin’, I deserve you any way I can get you. Even if I never got to feel the touch of your lips on mine, then that would be okay because you’re just perfect.”
Why does he wreck me so?
No matter how many times he tells me that I deserve him, I just can’t bring myself to fully believe it.
I love him with my whole heart.
The way he looks down at me, I know Ronny loves me too. Somewhere, somehow, I have done something right in my life.
“I think we are just complete goners for each other.”
He grins at that. “You’re getting the idea, sweetheart.” I lean forward, kissing his scruffy cheek. He is so large, looming over me, and I know some would be terrified but I love the feeling of him pressed against me.
I lift my legs, stopping myself from wrapping them around his hips and dragging him to me. He licks his lips and my eyes follow the movement.
He growls. “I love that look on your face. Want me to kiss you, baby?” he asks me, his voice dark and sending shivers down my body.
I have an ache between my thighs, something that is so foreign, but over the years I’ve only experienced it at the thought of Ronny.
I nod. “Please,” I practically beg.
This time the kiss isn’t soft—not hesitant like before, no. This is a kiss that is claiming, letting me know exactly who I am.
His.
There is no doubt in my mind as his lips move against mine like he is making love to me, and boy do I feel like I’m burning.
My whole body is shaking, about to combust from the need for him to touch me there . My hands drift to his back, under his shirt. His muscles flex under my hands, and my nails dig into his skin, but not hard enough to scratch him.
He breaks his lips from mine. I gasp, trying to catch my breath. He tilts my head to the side, kissing his way down my neck, and the intense feeling between my legs grows.
“I have wanted to love you the way I want to love you for so long, my sweet angel,” he whispers into my ear. I clench hard, my body begging for him to enter me.
“I have been yours since the second I saw you,” I whisper back, my heart racing. It’s like a dream. “I never wanted to be owned, possessed by someone ever again. But you? I don’t have that fear, I want you to want me.”
I can see the change over his face at my words. There is no going back from what I said and for a man like Ronny. I know he has been waiting to hear this.
He licks his lips, looking down at me. “Fuck, I have wanted to hear those words for so fucking long,” he admits, and I smile, leaning forward to kiss him. The kiss heats up, with me giving back just as much as he is.
His free hand is resting on my hip, slowly drifting down my thigh, to my knee, and back up.
Frustration grows. I know he is going slow so as not to spook me, but it’s driving me insane. I can feel the wetness between my legs, coating down to my thighs.
Would it be to bold to grab his hand and place it between my legs? “I can feel you shaking,” he says, pulling his lips from mine. I take in a deep breath, trying to control myself.
“You’re scared?” he asks, his face showing his concern.
I rub my thumb over his bottom lip. “No, not scared. The opposite.” I give him a look, letting him know I’m so turned on I might die if I don’t get some relief.
He smirks. “I see.”
His eyes never leave mine, his hand sliding down my stomach and flipping the edge of my sweatpants. I can feel the cool air drifting in.
“Okay?” he asks, and I want to scream from being so overwhelmed.
“I’m okay, Ronny,” I tell him, needing him to know he can touch me without worry. “I will tell you if I’m not, okay?”
He kisses my cheek, his hand gripping the band of my sweatpants, and I pull my legs up to help him drag off my sweats, throwing them onto the floor and leaving me in my panties.
He glances up at me and I swallow hard. I lift my hips, allowing him to drag them down my legs too. I know they’re soaked, I can feel the coolness against my legs on their way down.
I throw caution to the wind and decide to be brave, so I pull my shirt over my head, leaving me completely naked in front of him for the first time.
It took a long time for me to come to terms with the scars on my body, the whip marks on my back from the times I disobeyed in the cult.
Ronny’s eyes are heated.
I have scars under each of my breasts where a knife was dragged and cut me deeply.
“I have never seen someone so beautiful in my life, you’re perfect,” he praises me, and I smile. He makes me feel that way. “Let me love you? No sex today, but I want to take care of you…” he trails off, waiting for me to answer.
I bite my lip, nodding. “Yes.”
He beams happily that I’m trusting him with this, I swear my heart is beating so hard it physically hurts.
He sits back on his ass, running both of his hands along my sides. I shiver. His eyes are so intense, looking down at me, and at one point I would have been ashamed of the way I look.
How can I dislike the way I look when he is looking at me like I’m the most beautiful thing.
Goosebumps are stretched out across my skin from the top of my head to the tip of my toes.
He lifts my hand, kissing the back of it, slowly dragging his lips all the way down my arms. I swallow hard, rubbing my thighs together. He’s driving me crazy.
Ronny isn’t in any hurry. He moves to the other arm, repeating his actions. I bite my lip, watching his every move.
He is worshiping me, making sure he kisses every single scar and giving each one extra attention.
I suck in my stomach as his hand glides down my navel and still, waiting to see if he is actually going to touch me.
The piercing blue-green eyes dig deep into mine, making sure I’m okay. I give him a slight nod.
Then he does what I’m aching for.
I let out a sharp breath, his fingers sliding between my folds, his thumb rubbing across my clit.
“Fucking soaked,” he growls. He suddenly slides down the bed and his face is between my legs. My eyes widen in shock. Is he going to do what I think he is?
He opens my legs wider and his mouth replaces his fingers. Holding my lips open, he sucks my clit into his mouth.
“Oh my God,” I moan. This is unlike anything I thought it would be. My eyes roll to the back of my head, closing, and I let my body relax.
“That’s it, baby. Just feel,” he encourages me. “Such a good girl for me.” His words set me on fire, loving him calling me that.
I can feel the trembling starting in my inner thighs, my toes curling. My fingers grip the comforter, the feelings growing more intense by the second.
His finger slips inside me gently, just one. That’s all it takes for me to fall over the edge, and I’m not sure if I scream or make a bunch of incoherent words.
He doesn’t stop as I expected, drawing out my orgasm until another one soon follows, and this time I can’t mutter a single word. My whole body is trembling, and right now my body isn’t my own. It’s Ronny’s.
He crawls back up the bed, cuddling me into him as I come down from my orgasm high. “That was unreal,” I tell him once I can find my voice.
He chuckles. “That’s what I wanted. I know this was a huge deal for you, and I’m so fucking thrilled that I’m the man you have chosen.”
I swallow hard, emotional; he is so sweet to me. He has a dark side, the protective side that I love more than I should admit. Knowing he would do whatever it takes to protect someone—me.
“There’s no one else, Ronny, and there will never be anyone else.” I lean over and kiss his hard jaw. Every part of him is hard, and between his legs is a sure sign of that.
He is huge, I can feel him resting against my thigh. Sweat beads up on the back of my neck. Do I offer to help pleasure him in return?
Do I offer to give him a blow job?
The panic hits me hard, fear racing up my spine, and a flashback slams into me, stealing my breath. The images flash through my mind, where I’m tied down and men use my mouth and throat as they please.
I would throw up, pass out from the lack of oxygen. It was worse than being raped a hundred times over.
I lost teeth during that time, my jaw would become so painful I couldn’t eat anything that needed to be chewed. They would hold my nose shut so that I would be completely at their mercy.
I thought I was going to die. Most of the time I wished that I did, but now I’m grateful I made it through those tough times.
“Angel?” Ronny says frantically.
The shame hits me hard. I slide out of bed and run into the bathroom, trying to catch my breath. My fists slamming down onto the counter, I look at myself in the mirror.
Why am I letting these men win?
Sex doesn’t scare me. I realized that a few years ago, though the forced blow jobs are one thing that will be hard for me to get over. How is that fair for Ronny after what he just did for me?
This is why he deserves someone who can be and do whatever it takes to please him.
The bathroom door is pushed open, and I turn away from him so he doesn’t see my reaction.
That doesn’t stop him.
“Baby, I shouldn’t have done that. Can you forgive me?” he pleads with me, lifting me up onto the counter so I’m forced to look at him.
“Wait, I wanted that,” I tell him sternly. “You will not blame yourself for this. I loved what happened between us.” I touch his cheek, realizing I’m so selfish. He is looking at me with such love, tenderness. “It’s me that I blame,” I finish.
His eyes widen. “What the fuck? Why?” He grips me tighter by my hips.
“I want to pleasure you like you did me, but I can’t do that right now.” My voice trembles, terrified at the thought even though I know Ronny would never force or hurt me.
The thought alone is enough to send me into a panic attack.
“Baby.” His voice is tortured. “Tell me?” he pleads with me, and I lift my head, tears falling from my eyes.
“In the cult you know sexual abuse was a big thing,” I start off, and his face turns stormy. I know he hates hearing about it.
“In therapy over the years, we have talked about triggers. Sex, we don’t think is a major one for me, but blow jobs?” My voice cracks at the end. “That’s something I’m not sure I will ever be able to do for you. I’m so scared because of how violent it was for me in the past.”
Ronny is enraged, his hands have a death grip on the counter. “Angel.” His voice is rough, ragged. “I don’t care if I never get a blow job, this was about you. You deserve to be taken care of, you will never be on your knees in front of me, ever. One day, if your fears aren’t there, you could try, but I don’t care if it never happens.”
How is he so perfect?
“Ronny,” I say breathlessly, the fear that I had slowly ebbing away. “Can we shower together?”
He strips down until he is completely bare. This is the first time I have ever saw him naked. Just when I didn’t think he could be more beautiful. I start to reach out and stroke him, but I stop myself, not wanting to touch him without permission.
Ronny captures my hand just as I’m about to put it back to my side. “What’s wrong?"
I giggle, embarrassed slightly “Well, I almost reached out and stroked you.”
He is staring at me hard. “One day you can do that, baby, but right now, I want to take care of you.” He kisses my forehead and I sigh at the feeling.
“Okay.” He smiles and lifts me off the counter and carries me into the shower. He holds me out of the spray until the water warms.
I place my head in the crook of his neck, my body wrapped around him as I hold on for dear life.
The water trails over our bodies. “Kiss me,” I whisper, and he does it without hesitation. First thing I notice is, the kiss is different. Ronny is kissing me like he can take all the pain away from me.
An idea forms in my mind and I smile against his lips. “You said I can touch you one day, but can I watch you touch yourself?” I ask, shocking myself that I was bold enough to say it, but that is something I’m aching to see.
He smirks heatedly. “Fuck yeah, you can.” He sets me down on the shower floor, and I move across, leaning against the wall.
The water is streaming down his body, his deep blue-green eyes beaming at me. His jaw is clenched.
His abs are mouthwatering, I want to run my tongue over every single one. The veins in his arms are taut, and his hands are massive and rough from all the hard work he has done throughout the years.
I bite my lip, dying inside while waiting for him to finally touch himself. His eyes are hooded looking at me. I swallowed hard when his fist wraps around his dick.
I rub my thighs together, turned on again. He strokes himself from the tip down to the base.
I want to touch him so bad. “Ronny, can I touch you?” I ask him, wanting to do this. I may not be ready for a blow job, but I can touch him. He closes the distance between us. “I’m not sure what I’m doing, so tell me if I do something wrong?” I tell him.
He kisses my forehead. “You could do nothing wrong, sweet girl.”
I reach between our bodies, my hands trembling slightly. A drop of water slides down his chest, running over one of his nipples.
He groans at the contact of my hand wrapping around his dick, the skin warm, thick, and velvety.
His face shows his rapture as he throws his head back. I learn the rhythm that gets the most noise from him. His large thighs are clenched and he slams his hand on the shower tile above my head.
He is close, his legs are barely holding him up, and I have never felt more powerful in my life than when I see him falling apart like this by my hand.
With the water dripping down his chest, I can’t fight the urge to lean forward and rub my tongue along the tip of his nipple, catching a water droplet.
He tries to pull my hand away because he is coming, but I don’t let go and he spills over my hand and onto my stomach.
His breathing is hard, and I run my hand up his sides, loving that he fell apart like this from my touch. This is such a huge step in our relationship, I never dreamed that it would have happened this quick between us.
I’m happy, though.
We both have waited many years so that I could heal enough to be able to be close to him like this.
He lifts his head to look at me, his body settling down from his orgasm. He pulls me to him and slides his fingers along his cum on my stomach like he is trying to rub it in, branding me.
It’s possessive and I love it.
I do something intense and bold. Ronny takes the fingers that he used to rub his cum into my stomach, lifting it to my mouth, and I suck his finger into my mouth.
His nostrils flare intensely. “Fuck, that was so hot.” He ducks his head, kissing me with so much passion, making me hotter than the water.
His fingers drag through my hair, tightening and tugging slightly on the strands. Then it hits me. “Oh shit, I’ve got work!” I screech, diving for the bodywash as Ronny grabs the shampoo.
I rush and wash my body while he washes my hair, then I spin and wash him, making sure I pay extra attention to his dick. His fingers rub through my folds thoroughly, cleaning me.
“Tonight, I’m taking you out on a date,” he tells me, and I grin.
“Deal.”