Chapter 25
Roishin
T he club had resources across the country. Members from every club volunteered to get tested. And thankfully, Beth responded to the antibiotics. They moved her back to a regular room, and she could have visitors again.
John called me first.
“ Did you need me to watch the children?”
“ No , Beth’s been asking for you.”
Thank the Goddess . “ Let me check with Bear .” He was hovering nearby, listening in as he always did, so I quickly told him the news.
“ She wants to see me.”
His brief deliberation was marked with a subtle grimace he tried to hide by licking his lips. “ Okay .”
I relayed it to John .
“ Do you have to ask permission for everything?” The accusation in his tone was palpable.
“ It’s called respect.”
The silence on his end told me what he thought about that. Finally , he said, “ Only you, Rose . The doctors are clearing each person on a case-by-case basis.”
As was protocol. You had to be healthy, go through thorough sanitary steps, and wear the protective gowns. We’d both been through this once before. “ Fifteen minutes, right?”
“ Ten . She’s really weak.”
My heart thumped harder. I pressed my lips together so I wouldn’t cry. When I recovered, I told him, “ I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Bear was already pulling down my long coat from the hook. He handed it to me as I wiped the phone number from the call history.
“ We’re not taking your bike?” It was a nice day with no reason to ride enclosed.
He studied the keys hanging by the door. “ You’ll be more comfortable in the truck.” With that, he grabbed his plain coat from the hook.
Before I climbed into the vehicle, I stopped in front of Bear and went up on tiptoe and framed his face with my hands. “ Thank you. I know you would rather ride.”
His dark eyes softened slightly. “ Yeah , but I hate riding with a bitch crying on my back.”
I rolled my eyes. This was the real him. Showing he cared by actions and burying it under layers of crassness. I squeezed his beard, tugging slightly. “ I’m not a bitch.”
His mouth tightened, fighting the smile that curled the corners. “ Keep telling yourself that. Witch .” There was a flare of heat that sparked between us. I inhaled, savoring the connection before letting go and climbing in the truck.
Even though we weren’t on his bike, he reached over to keep a hand on my leg whenever he could.
I covered it, caressing the rough skin and tracing the tattoos.
Each finger had a runestone inked into the skin.
I brushed the stroked lines and recited the meanings.
Fehu , Uruz , Kano , Nauthiz . For the uninitiated, you’d see them and read, “fuck.” But they really meant wealth, strength, creativity, and restraint. Bear knew the meanings. He had to.
“ Did you do these?” They didn’t match most of his artwork.
“ I had to drill them left-handed. They’re a little shaky, but… Yeah .”
I lifted his hand and kissed each one.
A small smile twitched into place as I did.
I spoke to his fingers. “ You’re mine. And I’m yours.”
He braked hard, pulling to the side of the road. I scanned for danger or the cause of his abrupt stop.
A hard kiss interrupted me. Bear’s tongue pressed into my mouth. It caught me by surprise, but once I realized we weren’t in danger, I leaned into the kiss.
He growled and kissed me harder.
A car whizzed past and rocked the SUV .
I was panting.
Bear wasn’t much better. He stared at me hard. “ You’re mine, and I’m yours.”
I nodded, unsure of what was happening, but it was significant.
He grinned.
With one more kiss, he let me collapse back into my seat while he buckled up and checked for traffic before slipping back onto the road.
“ You pulled over for a kiss?”
“ That wasn’t just a kiss, woman.”
My cheeks felt warm. It certainly wasn’t. It might have been the single most romantic thing he’d done yet. All because I got a little lost in my thoughts and let my emotions slip out.
I let myself be vulnerable and it felt good.
This time, I reached across and put my hand on his knee.
He slipped his hand off the wheel and covered it.
We were still holding hands when we met John in the waiting room. He glanced down at the sight. Then took in Bear’s leather, denim, tattoos, and piercings. And my floor-length black gown with skull eyelets and the black lace overlaying it all. A smile tilted at the corner of his mouth.
That’s right. I finally found someone to be myself with.
John sized Bear up again. It was shocking to see they were almost the same size.
I’d gotten so used to seeing both of them alone, or with people smaller than they were, that the shock of them together brought out comparisons.
They both were giants compared to normal men.
Bear had thicker legs and hands. John’s fingers were slightly longer, and both had biceps for days.
John was clean-cut, Bear wild. It was almost as if they came from the same mold, but were decorated to match Beth and my personalities.
I pinned a mental note to tell Beth about that.
But first I had to make sure they didn’t kill each other.
“ Play nice. I’m going to check in and wash up.
Bear ? I’ll be out in about a half hour.
You good?” I moved close so I could brush my fingers against his scalp.
He shaved the sides almost daily, but had missed a day or two.
The stubble there was soft and velvety. I adored the feel of it under my fingertips.
“ All good.” He locked eyes with me. “ You got this.” He leaned in and kissed me, ending it before it could heat too far.
His nose brushed mine. He was so close I couldn’t focus, so I closed my eyes to soak in his strength.
John didn’t need to watch me break, he had enough on his plate.
Somehow , Bear knew that and was giving me some of his abundant energy.
I dug my fingertips into the muscles of his neck to let him know I appreciated his offering. “ Tonight .” I kissed his cheek and let go before I lost control.
I’d give him everything. Lay myself out on a platter and let him take anything he wanted.
I trusted him enough for that. It was a heady feeling.
I barely felt the floor beneath my feet.
The trance of his magic floated me through the ritual of hand-washing, wrapping my hair, putting the protective over layer on, and donning a surgical mask.
Then I was allowed in, and it all came crashing down.
I was fifteen again. And Beth was dying for the first time.
Sure , she was older, I was wiser, and we were both much more experienced at navigating death, but seeing her so frail knocked my walls down. Everything let loose at once. The pain, the tears, the rage… I couldn’t feel so much at once.
I was barely able to walk the scant few feet to plant my butt in the chair next to her bed.
“ Hi .” Lame .
Beth smiled and started to say something just as lame, but opted to reach a hand out instead.
I took it immediately. She was mine. I poured power into our connection. The strength I’d gotten from Bear , the hope he’d given me when he announced the club was spreading the word nationally for donors, all of it. “ You look like shit.”
She laughed. “ Feel like shit.”
“ I’m sorry.”
She blinked. “ No , you’re not. You’d do it all over again five times ten.”
“ That’s seven times seven.”
“ No , you know what I mean.”
I did. We’d talked about so much when we were younger. Nothing was immune from dissection. “ Did you hear about the donor search?”
She snorted lightly. “ Bikers , huh?”
I shrugged. “ They’re not all bad.”
Her eyes met mine. “ I don’t think they are. I think they’re a lot like you. Good people doing everything they can to crawl out of the swamp. And learning to swim in the cesspool while doing so.”
“ That’s not fair. You know my weaknesses.”
“ John says he’s big.”
I suppressed a laugh. That was an understatement. “ Okay . I got a chance to study them both out in the waiting room. Picture John as a dark barbarian with thicker thighs, waist and neck. Longer hair, of course, and piercings.”
Her mouth opened slightly. “ I hear he’s got a mohawk.”
I frowned. “ A Viking braid. And sure, probably not even close to authentic, but it’s kind of sexy.” I lifted an eyebrow remembering how good it felt to dig my fingers into it and moan his name.
“ You’re in love.”
I dumped her hand and crossed my index fingers between us. “ Stand back Satan .”
She laughed.
That was balm to my soul. “ I love you.”
Her smile turned pensive. “ I know, but you need someone to fly the night skies with.”
Wow . I forgot I told her that. “ That’s only in dreams.” It wasn’t real. Even if I did feel it almost as acutely as if it were, my body stayed behind each time.
“ Are you safe with him?”
No , but that was part of the appeal . “ He’s not a good man, if that’s what you’re asking. But he’s one of those acts of service types. And he tried buying me. Twice .”
“ What ?” Beth didn’t believe me.
“ Okay maybe the first time he turned Carl down, but?—”
Her hand gripped mine, tightly. “ What’s that about Carl ?”
Shit . I didn’t want to tell her that. But I wouldn’t lie to her either. “ Your brother wouldn’t let me leave that first night. And Bear showed up.” I faltered for a moment but pushed on.
“ Your brother offered to sell me to him.” I laughed. But it cut short as my breath caught. “ If it had been anybody else? I think I wouldn’t be alive to tell you all this in person. Do you understand why I say that?”
She nodded. Her eyes held too many of our shared secrets.
“ That’s why… despite his grumpy exterior, I know I’m safe.”
Beth smiled again. It was so pure and sweet, I wanted to touch it. But knew better, so I stroked her hand instead. “ My life for yours. My heart beats at your side.”
The smile fell. “ Rose ,” she cautioned.
“ I know. But I want to give you my strength. Lean on it for a bit, will ya?”
She squeezed my hand. “ I might take you up on that.”