CHAPTER 32 In Mourning
Darcy was in the breakfast parlour early the next day, when the express rider arrived. It was a letter from Elizabeth and something he was most pleasantly surprised to receive. He settled into his seat with a second cup of coffee before him and began to read.
Longbourn House, Hertfordshire
My dearest,
How happy I was to have received your letter, and at a time when I was feeling at my lowest. Before I forget, my mother sends you her deepest thanks for all you have done for our family. She has mentioned several times already what a good man you are.
Alas, my father passed away a few hours ago and I have been keeping vigil beside him while everyone sleeps.
Many thoughts went through my head, not the least of which was that you thought less of me for having such a family and for causing you such aggravation.
I recall what you said in your proposal and, though it may pain you to have it repeated, I thought about how far beneath you I am and how I, alone, am reaping the benefits of this match.
I humbly acknowledge now that you were right - about everything.
And yet, despite this disparity, and my mortifying connections (To have Wickham as a brother!) you chose to love me and offer me your hand in marriage.
Do not feel bad that I am admitting this.
For I shall admit many things to you during our lifetime and you must be prepared to hear all manner of confessions.
I love you and am every day in awe that you chose to love me.
I look forward to seeing you tomorrow (or perhaps it is later today?) and shall feel bereft the entire time you are not with me.
Yours forever,
EB
He read and re-read the letter and wished to respond immediately to it (even though he would be at Longbourn that same day.) He thought about the letter endlessly and her sentiments about their marriage being unequal.
He simply could not stand the notion that she thought herself to be reaping all the benefits of the match!
Elizabeth also included a note for Mr. Gardiner, telling him of her father’s passing, which she requested he have delivered to her uncle.
Once he saw to that, Darcy changed into travelling clothes and had his horse saddled.
A carriage would follow behind him but - for the time being - his only wish to reach Elizabeth.
He enjoyed the springtime ride between London and Hertfordshire.
The day was balmy, and the roads dry. He knew that Elizabeth must be suffering after the death of so beloved a father.
And he would make it his mission to provide her with all the comfort - both emotional and material - that it was in his power to give.
The miles went quickly, as he noted the passing scenery - farmlands with newly growing crops, trees lining the road whose leaves were filling out; clumps of wildflowers, at times in great profusion, to be seen here and there.
He stopped at an inn to have a little refreshment and allow his horse to rest. But it was a quick stop - no more than twenty minutes - and before long he was once more galloping across the countryside.
*****
Elizabeth expected that there would be some callers that day, those who wished to pay their respects to her family at the loss of a husband and father.
But, other than Mr. and Mrs. Philips and Mr. Bingley, no one came.
She had tasked the cook with having food and drink ready, and the sight of all the unused food made her indescribably sad.
She understood now that they were being shunned because of Lydia’s indiscretion, but it still hurt - particularly when she had just lost her father.
Elizabeth considered letting everyone know that Lydia was on the verge of getting married but perversely kept silent.
Let them find out about it once she is married, Elizabeth thought to herself.
This just goes to show who our true friends are.
Mrs. Bennet had been so upset by the lack of callers that she had gone to her room to lie down and cry.
Kitty and Mary had been with her earlier but looked so downcast that Elizabeth decided to send them to their rooms as well.
Thus, she was sitting alone in the drawing room when a caller was announced. Whoever it is, she thought, he must be a kind soul.
Surprisingly, it was Darcy.
He stood in the entry hall, hat in hand, a puzzled expression on his face. “Elizabeth?”
She ran into his arms and was engulfed by them. “I am so happy to see you,” she said tearfully.
For a while neither spoke, each simply revelling in the warmth of the other.
“Why are you alone, Elizabeth?” he asked, pulling back and eying the tea service which remained mostly untouched.
She looked around and saw how pathetic it all must have appeared to him.
She shrugged. “Kitty and Mary were here earlier but I sent them upstairs. I did not wish for them to feel any worse than they already did. Jane is running errands with Bingley and my mother is resting in her room.”
“Has no one come to call, then?”
“Only Mr. Bingley, and my aunt and uncle.”
He nodded and pulled her in again. “Do not worry, dearest. Lydia shall be married in a matter of weeks and then everything shall be well. You may even tell everyone of the engagement if you think it will help.”
She shook her head, then led him to the couch and poured him a cup of tea.
“I do not know if I wish to do that,” she said softly, “for it just goes to show, does it not, who your friends truly are. We have known these people all our lives and now they snub us simply because of one sister’s frailty.
Sir William was my father’s closest friend, and Lady Lucas my mother’s.
And yet neither of them have come to call.
Nor has Maria come to see Kitty. How uncertain the world is…
and how unreliable are the people you thought you could trust!
They may visit again once Lydia is married, but it shall be difficult to get beyond this. ”
“Yes…it is difficult to be let down by people,” he murmured. A pause, then, “I am sorry I was not here with you…when he died.”
“Please do not apologise. You took it upon yourself to find Lydia; then you obtained a commission for Wickham. You have done more than anyone. Oh, how can you even look at me after everything! Are you even certain you still wish to marry me?”
“Of course, I am!” he cried. “Do you not recall that my own sister almost eloped with him? It was only through sheer luck that you are in this circumstance instead of me. Furthermore, marrying you is the one bright spot in my future, the thing that keeps me going, and propels every one of my actions. So, pray, do not say such things again.”
She suddenly realised how much he did love her, and how deep his loyalty was to her; and she was in no little amount of awe over it. “No…I shall not say such things anymore.”
“You are an extension of myself,” he said abruptly.
“Am I?”
“I cannot think of you in any other way.”
She looked thoughtfully at him for some time, then eventually said, “It is a unique way of thinking, but I am beginning to understand it.”
“You and I are one,” he continued in the same vein, “therefore there shall never be any need to thank me.”
She took one of his hands and placed a lingering kiss on it. “Still…what would you have me do with the gratitude I feel?”
He smiled faintly. “I suppose if words of thanks occasionally fall from your lips, then I shall just have to bear them.”
She laughed and suddenly felt lighter of heart than she had in the past few days.
They ate sandwiches and drank tea.
However, before long, Darcy stood up and said, “I just…ah…I suddenly recall promising Georgiana to send word once I arrived. Would you mind terribly if I went to Netherfield for a bit? I promise to return in an hour or two.”
Elizabeth was confused. The trip to Hertfordshire was not a long one. But perhaps Georgiana Darcy had a tendency to worry. “Of course, you must write your sister. Pray, send her my regards.”
He kissed her on the forehead then headed for the door. “I shall see you in a while.”
****
Darcy rode directly to Netherfield and was pleasantly surprised to find Bingley arriving there at the same time.
“Darcy! It is good to see you! You must have left early for it is still before noon.”
“I left just after dawn.”
“Well then, come in, my friend. I have just come from Meryton with Jane.”
Bingley led the way into his study where he asked Mrs. Nichols, his housekeeper, to arrange for a pot of strong coffee to be brought in. A few minutes later, Darcy sipped it appreciatively, feeling his vigour returning. He then informed Bingley of everything that had transpired in London.
“Yes,” said Bingley, “Elizabeth did tell us that you have found Miss Lydia. Unfortunately, Mrs. Bennet is still brought so low by her husband’s death that she rarely smiles anymore and is frequently found weeping at all hours of the day.
But at least she is spending time with her daughters and allowing them to console her.
It almost makes me tearful sometimes - to see the ladies gathered around the back parlour of Longbourn, each of them attempting to console the other and putting up a brave face.
I cannot imagine my own sisters behaving in such a manner.
And it makes me happy that I now have such a family. ”
“I heard as much,” said Darcy, “for I called at Longbourn before I came here. I take it that the Bennets have been ostracised?”
“Yes, unfortunately. I believe Mrs. Bennet is taking it the hardest. ‘Tis a pity that even their closest friends and neighbours cannot be bothered to pay their respects. But I suppose it is the way of society.”
“Well, that is one reason I came here so quickly. I believe I may have a way of remedying the situation. Would you mind terribly if I invited more guests to stay at Netherfield?”
“No, of course not. Who did you have in mind?”
“My relatives,” answered Darcy. “I would like to write them now, if I may?”
“Pray, do.”
He proceeded to the desk and began to pen a short letter to London.
“Are you referring to Lady Catherine and the Matlocks?” asked Bingley, looking over his shoulder.
“Yes, precisely…among others.” Darcy took a few more minutes to finish the letter. Once done, he sealed it. “Now, come, Bingley, let us get this to an express rider then pay a call on the Philipses.”
“The Philipses?”
“Indeed.”
Darcy discussed the rest of his plans with Bingley who then informed Mrs. Nichols about the arrival of Darcy’s relatives. Afterwards they proceeded to the stables and began their ride to Meryton.
“Did you ever think, Darcy,” asked Bingley as they rode, “when we viewed Netherfield last fall and rode along these paths, that we would both become engaged to local ladies?”
Darcy laughed. “No, I did not. In fact, it was the furthest thing from my mind.”
“And yet, you unexpectedly fell in love,” said Bingley.
“Yes, I did. Though, I must say, I tried to repress my sentiments. Naturally I was proven quite wrong.”
“But why would you try to repress your sentiments, Darcy?”
Darcy chuckled mirthlessly. “Oh, you know. Duty to family and all that.”
Bingley shrugged. “Oddly, I have never felt that way. I suppose I have simply let my feelings carry my actions.”
Darcy looked closely at his friend, then said, “I think you are the better man for it.”