16. ZANE
ZANE
The stables are peacefully quiet, bringing with them a serenity I constantly crave.
The workday is over, so everyone else has retired to their homes except for me.
Most of the horses are down for the night as well, except for Jaz—but that’s only because I’m in her stall, nagging her, demanding her company.
“You don’t mind it though, do you, Jaz?” I say to her, leaning back against her for support.
She grunts softly as if in response, and it makes me smile. I know it’s weird to prefer a horse’s company compared to humans, but Jaz requires little energy from me, and she gets extra sweet treats for putting up with me, which works out perfectly for both of us.
We’re lying on the ground, listening to the crickets outside as we watch the moon through the bars on her stall. It’s a peaceful night, one that people usually enjoy with beer and great company, but the latter doesn’t appeal to me.
Memories of when I lost Lilly creep into my mind, and once again I find myself impressed by Ava’s sweet gesture that day.
She didn’t have to sit with us for all those hours as we waited for the vet.
She chose to, was actually good company, and helped put Lilly at ease.
I have yet to thank her for it, unless you count the endless orgasms I gave her later that night.
A part of me starts reacting as I recall the smooth texture of her skin under my fingertips, the taste of her mouth on mine, the otherworldly feeling of being buried deep inside her.
Fuck, this is the wrong place to be getting a hard-on.
I adjust myself in my pants and try to rearrange my thoughts, but it only works for a few minutes before I circle back to Ava.
Today is the day she was supposed to teach Daisy’s music class at the rec center, and I want to know how it went. I was partially responsible for pushing her into agreeing, so I should probably go and check in to see that it went okay.
Look at me making excuses to go see her.
“What do you think, Jaz? Should I go check in on her?” I ask, but she doesn’t respond. “You’re not jealous, are you?”
This time she does swat me with her tail, making me chuckle.
“You’re definitely jealous, but I am still going... only because you’ve insisted,” I mock, earning myself another tail swat.
She’s lying down with me, so I can’t ask her to help me up. I’ve had a good day though, so I’m not in any pain. Any day that ends pain-free is a good day for me.
I find a baby carrot in my pocket that I feed to her as my final farewell of the day. I secure the lock on her stall before heading out of the stables.
The temptation to go to my cabin creeps at me, but for the second time in a week, I find myself wandering into the main house, curiosity having gotten the better of me. But I won’t stay long—I just want to check in on Ava, make sure she’s okay, and then I’ll rest easy.
And yes, I know it’s diabolical of me to be worried about her when we still have bad blood and a lot of unspoken issues between us, but I cannot help myself. It’s like no matter how hard I try, she’s stuck in my mind, and it’s getting harder and harder to let her go.
A lot of noise welcomes me, loud enough to have me nearly turning around. And this is why I prefer animals to people. It takes me a few seconds to realize that I’ve just walked in on game night, which is held once every couple of weeks in the Morgan household.
Tonight, instead of everyone being together, the girls are in the living room playing some music-related card game while Jace and my father are in the dining room, enjoying beer while playing poker.
I’m thinking about leaving when Ella walks into the kitchen, expressing visible shock at the sight of me.
“Twice in one week—that’s a new record,” she exclaims.
This time, I don’t even bother coming up with an excuse as to why I’m here.
“Got a problem with it?” I challenge.
“Who? Me? Never. I’m just surprised. Will you be staying for game night?” she asks.
I’m about to reply and say no when Ava saunters in, the biggest smile on her face, but it drops as soon as she sees me. She stands there awkwardly, whatever she was coming in here to do momentarily forgotten.
She has a couple of bright stickers on her face, making her look adorably cute. She’s in a baggy hoodie that ends mid-thigh, swallowing her whole, and a pair of leggings hugging her long legs.
“Not even gonna say hello?”
“Hello,” she chirps meekly, looking away to avoid eye contact.
“Dear Lord, have mercy—this awkward tension between you two needs to stop,” Ella demands.
I want that too, but it’s not that easy.
Ava whispers something in her ear before she disappears as quickly as she came in, without another word or glance in my direction.
Ella heads for the fridge while I stand here, wondering if it’s okay to pry information about Ava from her or not. It’s the reason why I came here in the first place, and since Ava won’t talk to me—upon my request—I might as well get the information I need from somebody else.
“How did it go today?” I ask Ella, who is stacking her arms with snacks.
“What?” she mumbles, glancing at me for a moment.
“Daisy’s music class,” I answer, refusing to mention Ava directly to avoid suspicion.
“You saw that smile on her face. What do you think?” she retorts.
I narrow my eyes since I need a better, direct answer.
She rolls her eyes at me. “It went great—all the kids loved her. Daisy wouldn’t shut up the whole ride home, and Ava has agreed to take over the classes until she has to head back to LA in two months.”
Now that’s more like it.
I’m relieved to hear that the music lessons went well. Ava does look and sound happier if the laughter coming from the living room is any indication. Which means I didn’t do so bad in pushing her to replace Daisy’s teacher.
“Is that all, boss, or do you have any more questions?” Ella challenges.
I do have more questions, but they’re not for her. I wordlessly step aside to let her pass.
Now that I have my answer, I should turn around and leave, but I find myself sticking around. I can’t join the girls for their game, but I want to be close enough to Ava without being creepy, so I grab a beer and join my father and Jace in the dining room.
“Look who’s decided to join us. Is your cabin on fire? Do we need to call 911?” Jace teases as I plop myself next to him.
I use the arm of his wheelchair to pop open my beer bottle as I glare him down to silence.
From this position, I have a good view of the living room and its main attraction—Ava.
“Would you like me to deal you in?” my father offers.
I nod and tip my beer bottle at him. I don’t really want to play, but I can’t just sit here doing nothing. My main goal is to keep an eye on Ava, but I have to play it cool.
She has been here for a month, and I’m no closer to having my questions answered. She’s actually doing what I asked of her—staying away from me—so why is it irking me so much?
What I know for a fact is that she’s no longer the sweet and sunshiny girl I once knew. She’s been replaced by a shell of a girl who fakes smiles, doesn’t eat enough, and sleepwalks, even though it’s been a while since that happened.
From the moment I saw her again, I knew something was off and different about her. Ella confirmed as much weeks ago, and I haven’t been able to find out what, but it seems it’s high time I focus on her again.
This means that Ava and I need to sit down and talk. I don’t know how or when, but I know it needs to be as soon as possible before she starves herself to death.
I just need to find a way to make her stop running away from me long enough to have a constructive conversation.
“Hey, pay attention,” Jace demands, snapping his fingers at me.
I mutter a half-assed apology as I focus my gaze back on the game.
“Beck will be coming home next month,” Dad announces, talking about my youngest brother.
We’re five siblings—four brothers and Ella. I’m the eldest, followed by Jace, then Ryder, who doesn’t live with us, and Beckett—the problematic one. I love all my brothers; we all have our own issues, but Beck is a special case.
As for Ryder, well, we just hope he’s alive wherever he is. He’s even worse than I am when it comes to staying close to the family.
“Finally, I’ve missed him. I hope he’ll be in time for the next game night—he always cheats and still loses,” Jace chuckles.
He’s right about that one.
It’ll be good to have Beck back. He’s been gone for almost six months.
Game night turns out to be not so bad, and I actually end up enjoying myself. The girls call it a night earlier than we do, and I stick around for two more rounds before I leave for my cabin.
Another night where I’m sleeping alone. She was with me for three nights, and I’ve been hoping she’d come back since then. There’s something seriously wrong with me! I shouldn’t be missing her, but I am, no matter how hard I try to deny it.