8. Smithy
Chapter 8
Smithy
I almost did it. I almost closed the distance between us and captured her lips. Instead, I reminded both of us we’re just friends. I'm an idiot.
I saw the desire in her eyes and the way her gaze flickered to my lips. She wanted me to kiss her. Her chest was rising a little faster than earlier and she was leaning towards me. She was giving me every green light to kiss her without taking the lead herself.
But then Wheeler’s rich laughter broke through to my brain and I knew I couldn’t do it. Not now. Not in a crowded bar. Not when everyone would hoot and holler if they saw us kiss. Not when we’d be front page news in the morning.
No, Liliana deserves better than that.
She’d assume I drank too much or I was just giving her what I thought she wanted. She’d think she imagined it all and it never really happened.
Hell, if I had gone through with it, I would have regretted it. Not because I finally took the leap but because I want it to be special. I want us to be alone. I want to be able to talk to her and make sure she understands this isn't just an impulsive decision and I'm not going to regret it in the morning. I want her to understand how much she means to me and how much I want to take this step.
I couldn’t do any of that in a bar so I said the one thing I knew would be like dousing us in cold water. I reminded her we’re best friends and that might be all we ever are.
And now I'm kicking myself.
I should’ve taken her hand and ran. I should’ve begged her to come back to my house and forget about our friends. I should’ve asked her to step outside with me.
Something.
Anything.
Instead, I ruined any progress I made tonight. I watched her build her walls back up and her desire fade from those gorgeous green eyes. I saw my chance vanish from in front of me and my stomach sank. I fucked up.
“Dang, Winnie. You’re looking gorgeous.” Wheeler grins and scoots over to make room for Winnie.
She rolls her eyes, but climbs over Liliana and I to get to the open seat. Wheeler places his arm around her shoulders immediately and begins whispering things in her ear.
They dated in college and then split up when we graduated. Winnie wasn’t interested in following Wheeler through the minor leagues and into the majors. She wanted to control her own future and he understood. They’ve always had a good relationship, even after they broke up, unlike Cord and Macy.
It always amazes me how they’re still friends and flirt with each other. You’d expect them to be enemies or get upset if they see each other on a date, but they don’t. They’ll smile and chat, acting like old friends who have never slept together.
“They have such an odd relationship,” I murmur under my breath, only loud enough for Liliana to hear me.
“I know. She loves him, but I'm not sure she wants to get back with him though. She’s happy being single.” Liliana leans her head on my shoulder and sighs.
“What about you? Are you happy being single?”
“Me?” She peeks up at me and points to herself. I nod my head, dropping a soft kiss on her forehead. “I don’t really want to be single. I’d love to find the man of my dreams and start our life together.”
“What’s holding you back?” I watch her carefully, wishing she’d say her love for me is preventing her from dating.
“I’d have to find someone I love enough to spend the rest of my life with.” She blinks up at me with those big green eyes and I know I’ll never love anyone as much as I love her. Now, I just need to make her see that.
“Do you want to come back to my place?” I murmur a couple hours later when Liliana yawns for the third time in as many minutes.
“I'm tired. I think I should just go home. It’s been a long day.” She smiles up at me, but I can tell it’s fake.
“What happened, Sweets?”
“Nothing, Bill was just being a dick as usual. He didn’t like my positive article. He wanted something with more drama.” She rolls her eyes and her jaw clenches.
I wish I could find her a job somewhere else. Something that would fit her talent and interests a little more. I’ve asked Owen if he had anything open for the franchise, but he said he didn’t at that time. I really need to talk to him again. It’s been at least a year since I asked.
“I wish I could help. I don’t know what I could do for you though.”
“You could create a big scandal to take the attention off of Owen.” She grins up at me.
“No, I can't.” I chuckle and shake my head. “If there’s a scandal, Bill would want Owen’s response to my scandal. The franchise would be painted in a bad light and Owen would get pissed. That wouldn’t solve anything, Sweets.”
“Maybe we can convince another player on a different team to create a scandal.” She lifts her shoulder in a shrug.
“No one will sign up for that, beautiful. That’s like career suicide.”
Liliana mumbles something as she yawns, but I don’t understand her. I roll my eyes and scoot out of the booth. I'm taking her home. There’s no question about it.
“C’mon, I'm taking you home.” I hold out a hand to her and wait for her to place her small palm in mine.
“It’s fine. I can just order a ride. You don’t need to drive to my place.”
“I'm not driving to your place, I'm taking you to my house.” I snake my arm around her waist as soon as she’s standing and lead her towards the door.
“Why?”
“Because I'm not ready to call it a night, but you’re tired.”
“You can stay. You don’t need to leave just because I am.”
“Sweets, if you think I'm letting you get in some stranger’s car alone, you’re crazy.”
“Oh my gosh, Trav! Nothing will happen. I don’t know why you’re so paranoid about this. It’s just like using a taxi.” She rolls her eyes.
“Because I'm not risking someone so important to me. Money can buy me a lot, but it can't get me a new Liliana Sweets… If you really won't come to my place, then I’ll drive you home. You’re not ordering a ride though.”
“Fine, I’ll go back to your place.” She sighs and steps into the cool night air.