ROWDY
Despite using Goblin as my excuse to bring Farley into the hallway, my little beast refused to go with us. He was absolutely fascinated by the black cats staring ominously at him from under the couch.
Once in the hallway, Farley asked, “What’s up?”
“Man, oh, man, you were coming on so strong that I thought I would need to beat the shit out of you,” I told Farley, who frowned darkly. “You seemed to be sending boner signals in Kat’s direction. But then, I realized you were horny for her sister.”
“Did you really think I’d flirt with your girlfriend?”
“I prefer the term unofficial wife or baby mama. Something more respectable than girlfriend.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“Don’t clench your ass so tightly, man. I just got a little possessive of my unofficial wife and couldn’t see clearly.”
Farley eyed me like he might punch me in the face. “Is this what you wanted to talk about?”
“You’re pissed.”
“I wouldn’t flirt with your girlfriend,” Farley growled, reminding me that he might be soft-spoken and needy, but he was also the son of two stone-cold killers.
“I know, but I have feelings now,” I said and patted his shoulder. “Romantic feelings that make me act crazy. You can’t take it personally.”
Farley’s tension eased, and his gaze softened. “You have sons now. They’re so little. I can see why you’d have new feelings. Or maybe sleep deprivation has made you stupid.”
“Feel better?” I asked as Farley glanced back at my condo.
“Sure.”
“What do you think of Maria?”
“What if I say the wrong thing and give you feelings again?”
“That’s only for Kat.”
“Well, Maria’s beautiful and nice.”
“She’s a nurse, you know? She has many hobbies and takes Taekwondo classes. You could do worse.”
Farley’s expression darkened. “I have done worse.”
“Then, we’re on the same page.”
“What page is that?”
“Kat and Maria are moving to Little Memphis. Hooking up Maria with my responsible club brother would help her settle into her new life.”
Farley frowned at my condo’s door while rubbing at the back of his neck. “I don’t know.”
“Don’t you like her? I was definitely getting a vibe.”
“She’s beautiful,” Farley said, sounding forlorn. “But I have bad luck with women.”
“No, you have bad luck with bad women. Maria is great.”
‘I don’t know.”
“I thought you were looking for Miss Right.”
“I was, but I think this is a bad idea.”
“Why?”
“I’ve never had a decent girlfriend. What if I bring bad shit out in women? Maria might turn bad. If we end on crappy terms, I’d have to see her all the time since her sister is with you.”
“But what if you don’t bring bad shit out of those other women? Maybe they just suck. Like with the last chick, what was her name?”
“Cordy.”
“Yeah, didn’t the foxes say she was bad news even before you hooked up with her?”
“Yeah, but they say that about every woman who dates any of us. They were saying that about Kat just the other day.”
Losing my enthusiasm, I grumbled, “Hey, who the fuck was trashing my woman?”
“Sabrina, Elle, and Goldie.”
“Thanks for ratting them out,” I said and patted his shoulder again. “Your loyalty toward me will be rewarded.”
“They think you won’t be able to make things work with Kat because she’s a good girl and you’re, well, rowdy.”
“Kat is plenty wild. How do you think we made my twin boys?”
“Not everyone who makes a baby is wild.”
“True, but most women don’t bring buckets to the bedroom.”
Farley frowned darkly. “What?”
“Never mind. Just know Kat’s plenty wild.”
“Is Maria wild?”
“No, probably not. She’s the more stable sister. Dude, can you imagine how happy a relationship could be without the drama and gaslighting?”
“What if I’m someone who needs the drama?”
“No, you want to take care of a woman. Maria needs that protective nature because she’s moving to a new place. I also think she’s feeling a little jealous over how Kat has found a great guy and has twin boys. She can’t admit to feeling that way because the twins don’t argue.”
“What if you and Kat break up and she moves back to Little Rock? Maria will follow her.”
Narrowing my gaze, I muttered, “You’re poking at me now.”
Farley smirked. “A little, yeah.”
“Wait, are you not interested in Maria? You were acting really horny in the nursery. I nearly had to ask you to leave to avoid traumatizing my sons,” I said and then added, “And my mom.”
“I wasn’t horny. Maria’s just really nice.”
“Lots of chicks are nice, and you don’t rub your figurative dick on them.”
Farley backed away. “You’re acting weird. I think you’re low-key angry that Goblin likes me so much.”
“Now, I know you’re poking at me,” I said and flashed him a dirty look.
“Well, stop poking at me.”
“Why are you being such a sensitive dum-dum? You were telling Boone how sad you were over never finding a good woman. He said you cried.”
“I’m not wrestling with you,” Farley muttered. “I know you’re poking at me like you do with Rock, but I’m not falling for that shit.”
“Well, if you’re not busy tonight with your tears, maybe you could hang out at my place for a while and talk to Maria. See if you want to ask her out?”
“What if we go on a date and it doesn’t work out? I’d have to see her all the time.”
“What if you go out and you two click? She’s already a part of our circle since I’m planning to marry her sister.”
Farley’s dark eyes glanced around the hallway. “I don’t trust my instincts when it comes to women.”
“I’ll be honest with you, man. You usually zero in on the biggest fucking train wrecks. They’re always girls with crazy, self-made problems. You’d play their hero, but they just kept taking. Maria would be the first chick who might like your soft side without taking advantage of it.”
Farley exhaled deeply. “Does she have a weird family? I don’t want them fucking with my moms.”
“Her family is perfection. It consists of my woman and sons. Her unofficial in-laws are great, too.”
Farley nodded. “Alright, I’ll hang out. I am curious about your sons.”
“Why?”
“Everyone is having babies. I was thinking about giving Cher a baby when she was done traveling the world. Being a dad seems fun.”
“Well, if you knock up Maria, she might give you twins almost as cute as mine.”
“Yeah, but then I wouldn’t be able to give Cher a baby.”
“Let one of the other guys do it. You just focus on you right now.”
Farley frowned at me as we walked back to my condo door. He was accustomed to me being a sarcastic fuck, so my genuine attempt at matchmaking had gotten his back up.
But Farley lost his edginess once he caught sight of Kat and Maria sitting on the couch together with the boys. Based on the way he watched Maria, he wasn’t particularly concerned about behaving sensibly.