Chapter 44
forty-four
ASTRID
You could tell a lot about someone based on their demeanour in an introduction. My evil grandmother, Celeste, taught me this in childhood. The woman may have been the devil incarnate, but she knew how to read and manipulate people. I learned a thing or two watching her lay out the rules of social warfare.
When Parker and I arrived at the restaurant for his meeting over tea, the look on his mother’s face began as glee, then anger. I couldn’t understand. I was about as eligible as one got. Combined, we were a dynamite team on paper but remained a bit of a mess and not excellent at expressing our genuine emotions outside a post-coital context. We were good at communication while fucking but lacked that ability while clothed, but she didn’t know that. What was her issue?
“Parker, who have you brought with you?” A girl in a royal blue dress asked.
I employed rule one of Celeste’s approaches to destroying adversaries. One should always observe appearances. I assumed the tall girl in the dark royal blue dress was his sister, Carolyn. What my family lacked in height, he made up for. Parker had an uncanny resemblance to this girl. She was his very feminised form—sporting the same eyes and nose.
“Sorry, everyone. This is my girlfriend, Astrid,” Parker said.
No title. No nothing. That was so like Parker. I was annoyed, wanting to play up the princess angle and dunk on his mother.
“Parker, give her the respect she deserves. Carolyn, this is Princess Astrid of Neandia—Queen Alexandra’s sister. Your Royal Highness, so pleased to speak to you in a more intimate setting,” Parker’s mother crowed.
“Enchanté,” I extended my hand. “Nice to meet you properly, Lady Westfall.”
I turned to the younger of the Westfall women. Her mouth gaped most unattractively as she stared, confused. Carolyn’s fiancé, whose name I did not know, elbowed her. He was a rather round man, only about her height, and had no discernible chin. I suspected he was very wealthy and hopefully kind.
“Yes. I’m Parker’s oldest sister. Our baby sister, Ashleigh, is not here today. She’s in rehearsals.”
“For the Royal Academy of Ballet,” I said.
I’d done my homework. I was a bloody sponge. And if this was my thesis defence, I was about to pass with flying colours.
Again, Celeste taught me everything I needed to excel. Rule Two—always listen and ask questions. With more context, making friends was easier. The observance was thoughtful. I aligned with people. I learned their foibles, hopes, dreams, and weaknesses to exploit later.
“Well, it is so nice to meet you,” I said.
“I’m Fred. Fred Wilmington, Your Royal Highness.” The fiancé gave a little bow.
“Well, Parker said that. Congrats to you both. I am so excited to hear it!”
Rule three—always be gracious. No one disputed your motives if you were kind to a fault. It was what had made Celeste so difficult to topple. She acted as though she was our greatest advocate rather than our jail-keep.
We sat for tea .
“Just waiting for the planner to arrive,” Lady Westfall said. “Parker, why didn’t you mention Her Royal Highness was your girlfriend? He did mention a girlfriend, but I was certain he was making it up to silence me.”
Parker set his jaw. “Mother, why would I make her up?”
“It seemed convenient. Why hide her?”
“I didn’t. You cannot hide Astrid,” Parker said warmly. “You know I like to keep private matters private. And no one in the department knows. We’re colleagues. I want to keep it discreet for her benefit. Free her from any accusations of favouritism.”
I struggled with that, but I knew it was for the best. When I heard people like Bianca or Jeremy gossip about academics misbehaving, it was always about who fucked who and who shagged their way “to the top.” Grad students had a knack for being judgmental, almost exclusively to younger female students. Although Parker wasn’t faculty, he was revered—my more senior colleague. It made things awkward—especially as we’d just been hired to teach together again in the spring semester.
“Well, don’t hide her. She’s pretty. Makes you appear normal.”
The similarities between his monster of a mother and my evil grandmother became clear. As Celeste always spent most of her energy breaking Alexandra down to exert control of her, Lady Westfall did the same to Parker—heir turned Duke. While Alexandra became Queen at the tender age of fourteen, Grand-Mama maintained control into her early eighties. I saw Parker’s mother pursuing the same strategy. She refused to give up.
“You’re right,” I said. “Parker isn’t normal. He’s exceptional.”
Parker stared, confused, but he’d thank me later. It was a genuine compliment laced with a barb. I’d been masterful, but it was the truth.
A server arrived and asked if all was well.
“I would like some coffee. I am not a tea person,” I said.
Stunned looks crossed every face, but the server only appeared kind. I may have confused her, but I didn’t care.
“Merci,” I said .
She left, and I continued, perfect as ever, never letting their faces get to me.
“They do not… drink tea?”
Carolyn’s face suggested I’d done something terrible like I’d dumped a puppy on the roadside.
“No. We don’t. I find it dreadful if I’m being honest.”
No response. They did not like my opinion, but I did not care.
“And if you were to go to someone’s house?” Lady Westfall asked. “Or, say, the Palace. Would you not drink tea?”
“No,” I answered. “If my opinion was requested. And when you visit the house of another monarch, your staff makes your opinions clear ahead of time. Her Majesty serves tea and coffee to us when we attend things. Last I checked, this was a restaurant, and Parker was the head of the household. He knows better than to force me to consume tea.”
Parker looked slightly horrified but nodded in agreement. “It is true she won’t take tea. I have tried. It’s one of her few flaws.”
My coffee arrived—my refusal to let anyone walk all over myself or Parker hanging heavy. Lady Westfall’s face conveyed her discomfort. I’d ruffled her expensive little feathers all before the planner arrived.
As the well-heeled planner appeared, we began with the venue. The couple wanted to host it at the Devon family estate and be married in their home city at the Cathedral in Westnedge. I’d never been, but I was sure it was all lovely.
“We must secure hotels and such, of course, but I did ring them, and June 15 th is available.”
Everyone was satisfied with that.
“Now, venues are good, but we must discuss the budget before I can lay out much else,” said Pippa the Planner. Yes, her given name was actually Pippa.
The room turned to Parker, who kept it simple. “I can manage 1 million, but that’s the limit.”
Carolyn glowered. Lady Westfall angered.
“Parker, society weddings cost money. ”
“One million dollars is more than some people will make in a lifetime with manual labour—many, in fact,” Parker countered. “It’s downright extravagant.”
“So, if you marry Astrid, you’ll stick to that budget?” Carolyn protested.
I knew Parker jumped out of his skin internally, but he played it cool with a poker face. He said nothing, and I never lost my neutral expression. I wouldn’t say I liked the suggestion either—not that I didn’t care for him, but because the mention was premature.
“It’s my budget. I have set it. Take it or leave it. Or, Fred, perhaps your parents could assist with everything above and beyond?”
Oh, so he was rich. I was right!
“Astrid, would you be satisfied with that?” Lady Westfall asked directly.
“We have no intent to get married presently,” I said. “This is all new. However, royal weddings are a different bag. I was not privy to my sister’s budget. I suspect the main costs are associated with security. But one million seems entirely too generous, if I am being honest. I always thought I’d be a marry-at-city-hall kind of girl.”
Parker could not stifle a smile. His mother, appalled, sipped her tea aggressively—something I didn’t even know was possible.
“Don’t be ridiculous. He will not be married at a registry office!”
“As I said, do not worry, Lady Westfall, for I have no intent to run off with your son.”
“And it’s neither here nor there because I make my own choices. Carolyn and Fred, I wish you the absolute best, but this is what I can do. Furthermore, if you question me, I will have you know Father set aside a specific amount for both girls. I doubled what he intended to spend on it.”
We moved along as the matter was settled. Parker was brilliant at argument and hated to be bested, so I realised I’d underestimated his ability to make this work.
When we left and climbed on the lift as the first to go, I nearly jumped into his arms, kissing him excitedly.
“You were so amazing in there! ”
“Was I? I was going to say your whole coffee flex was incredibly hot.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Fancy something completely spontaneous?” Parker asked.
“You know I never mind,” I answered.