Chapter 24 Everything All at Once
Everything all at Once
Ingrid
The instant feelings of betrayal and fear hit me.
Every time we fought like this, I resisted the urge to run.
I told myself Keir did love me and he would never do it again.
However, I was a mere mortal. I couldn’t force him to stay.
Obligation wouldn’t ever keep him—at least not happily.
I loved him but wouldn’t trap him. If that was how he viewed us and our chances to have a child, I couldn’t stand to stick with him.
I dismissed my dresser and paced. I pulled out my earrings, dropped my bracelet on the dresser, and stared at my left hand.
I wanted to be happy. I tried to get through all the pomp so I could just love him and build a life.
Instead, I felt undervalued and trotted out like a show pony.
What good was this symbol if it meant nothing but obligation for him?
Keir knocked.
“Ingy, can I come in?” Keir asked.
“Are you here to shout at me?” I called.
“No, my love.” Keir was tender.
He entered, still nervous. He looked down, still silent, then returned his gaze to mine.
I wanted to return that meek energy but didn’t know how. I was enraged.
I had a hand on my hip, “I don’t want you to tell me you’re sorry I feel this way, and you’re changed and all that bullshit.
I want to see evidence you’ve thought about it.
I am not an obligation. Our children are not a weight around your neck.
I am beloved—you’re supposed to love me like the fucking sun, right?
And I must trust that will extend to our children. ”
He rubbed his temples. “I don’t know how else to prove it to you. You’re not an obligation. You’re the light of my fucking life, Ingrid. And… to date, I’ve viewed your opinions about children in a light that… probably seems unfair.”
I crossed my arms. “Go on. And this better not be because your aunt said one fucking sentence, and you realised you were wrong. You need to listen to me. I shouldn’t need a goddamn translator.”
“I get it. I do. I should. I viewed things wrong. You must grow a child. It affects your life and career in a way it doesn’t mine.
You were trying to say that… as you had every right to.
But I didn’t consider that you’d bring it up to a journalist. You also must know that what we talk about here isn’t to be trotted out publicly. ”
“I don’t think what I said was controversial to any reasonable person!”
“Ingrid, you don’t know these people like I do. What you said was an overshare—even if well-intentioned. Well-intentioned never plays for these types.”
I shook my head. “It’s more than that. What, do you wish none of your buddies to see you loving fatherhood?”
“No. It’s not that. The most important father figures in my life are unabashedly good at the job and would kill for their children—Lars, Rick, Uncle Ed, and Uncle Olav.
Baby, that’s not it. My father gave anything he had to spend more time with us until the day he died.
He loved us like the moon and stars. It’s not shameful, okay? But the press do not care.”
“I don’t give a flying fuck about the press.”
Keir stepped forward, placing his hands on my shoulders, and kept a strong, sure voice, “Ingrid, listen to me. You do not understand what it means to tangle with these vultures. They are heinous beasts who will take that soundbite about your competition schedule and skewer you, my love. I watched them turn reasonable, lovely things my mother said into haterade. People here loathed her. She is the most generous, wonderful sort of person. She’d kill for us.
Instead of those things showing through, she was compared endlessly to my saintly grandmother and perfect Aunt Kiersten.
In the end, they made her look like a selfish harpy. I do not want that for you.”
“You cannot control how other people treat you, Keir. You cannot stop them from writing such things no matter what you do. I am not living in fear because you will.”
He groaned. “You will not listen.”
“Nor will you! I fear every time we have this discussion that…”
I couldn’t speak.
“That what? I will leave? What can I do to fix this? I am not leaving, Ingrid. My biggest regret wasn’t leaving.
It was what my leaving did to you. I need to do it to grow up, but not at the expense of you feeling so alone and battered.
It was so unfair. I loved you always. I don’t know how else to prove it. ”
“You can’t,” I said. “I’ve got so much to unpack. I need to speak to a therapist, I think. Odette says… she says it’s helpful. Astrid said the same. We have a lot of painful baggage. But I don’t think some of it will ever change. When you raise your voice…”
I still couldn’t say it.
“What? Tell me, Ingrid. I can take it.”
“It’s unfair.”
“Leaving you was unfair. Not dealing with my shit is unfair. This isn’t a you problem.
It’s an us problem. And we should probably see a therapist to unpack it.
We’re together all the time now. Things are changing.
I am worrying so much about you and what the press thinks.
It’s not healthy, my love. But let me repeat it, I want you to tell me. ”
“It will only wound you.”
“I can handle it.” Keir took my hands in his again. “Tell me, sweetheart.”
I sniffled. “I worry you will strike me. I know you never would. I know you’d never hit me… but the fear is so real. It hits like a sack of bricks, and I just shut down. You’ve never made me believe you would hurt me like that, but… I am used to being hit.”
“By your grandmother?” He looked appalled. “Who would hit you?”
“My grandmother. She hit Astrid and me most because we dared speak back, usually on behalf of the others. And she’d hit others in front of us to break us. I could take a smack to the face, but watching her smack Odette broke me. Odette is sensitive—more than me. It hurt her worse.”
Keir dropped my hands and paced, winding up. His protective streak took over.
“Keir, mon cher, she’s dead. You cannot quarrel with the dead.”
“I hate that woman. I only said hello to her once, but I hope she burns in hell!”
“I would agree with you.”
“I didn’t realise she was so rough with you all. The idea of anyone hitting a child disturbs me. My parents never laid a hand on me.”
“I know. I am so very jealous of the love and care you had growing up.”
Keir rushed to hold me. I breathed in his cologne and dialled in on his heartbeat. It was racing, likely due to anger. I wanted him to love me—to hold me for an eternity like this.
“I don’t know what to say,” Keir sighed. “But I do know I love you and would never, ever hurt you. We could also probably benefit from talking to someone. I will try very hard not to raise my voice. I apologise because I knew it upset you.”
“You couldn’t know how much,” I pushed back slightly. “I am sorry to transfer that to you— “
“But you’re not. It’s your life. Sometimes, I forget that we both lost parents but that you had none.
And that the person who was supposed to take care of you never fucking did.
I know the pain of that must be immense.
I lost my dad, and that was painful, but I always had a loving mother—a loving family all around.
I had a stepfather who would have killed for me, too.
I’m sorry, my love. I am sorry anyone ever hurt you.
And when we have kids, I hope they never know any of that pain. ”
I wanted to jump into his arms after feeling seen.
I pulled Keir towards me and looped my hands around his neck.
Peering up, I captured the moment where he told me it was going to be okay and that it wasn’t my fault.
I felt everything all at once. I didn’t move to kiss him but stared with all the love in the world.
Keir nuzzled my head with his nose, taking in the smell of my hair. I wanted to eat up this time. He gently kissed my forehead.
“You are the only person who has ever gotten it. And you’ve shown great patience, Ingy. I’m sorry I haven’t always done the same, but I’ve never lost any contest, and I don’t intend to fall short now.”
I looked up with a cheeky grin. “So, you’re listening? Do you get why I want to plan everything and know there is a time?”
“Uh-huh. I mean, who am I to say no to knocking you up immediately post-nuptials? I mean, like I said, I’ve never lost any competition I put my full energy into.”
“Keir… I didn’t mean…”
“I have half a mind to pull you into bed and make all this up to you in legendary fashion.”
“Who am I to say no?” I asked. “How could I?”
Keir lifted and tossed me on the bed— on top of the three different dresses I didn’t choose.
He didn’t mind the dresses or the destruction which could commence.
Instead, he whipped off my knickers, climbed in, and pulled me towards him.
As if he were possessed, he buried his face in between my legs enough that I knew I was going to cum quick and hard.
I arched my back, pressing my hips toward him. A knock made me want to stop him. Keir brought me closer to climax with his tongue.
“Ma’am, are you ready for assistance yet?”
I could hear Keir making a joke about that in my head.
“No, I… I…” I choked out as Keir pressed two fingers into me and tickled my G-spot.
I swear I could feel my eyes rolling back. I squeaked, “Maybe in half an hour.”
“Yes, Your Royal Highness. I will return then.”
I could sense a certain degree of annoyance, but I let it go as I pulled my own hair and came hard. It was like fireworks erupted and I couldn’t fight all the quivering and shuddering—nor could I silence myself entirely.
“Oh, fuck! Oh mon dieu!”
“Are you alright, ma’am?” She returned.
I hoped she’d ignore me.
“Ma’am?”
Keir looked up at me gleefully, then crawled upwards, parting my legs with his body. He kissed my neck as I answered, barely able to breathe.
“I…”
He slipped his hard cock inside me and stared hungrily.
“I’m good,” I answered, but just barely.
Keir didn’t even wait to hear her leave. He pinned my ankles to his shoulders and began to pump. I was so wet that our bodies met with a loud slap. Anyone on the other side of the door could have put it all together.
“Cat got your tongue, princess?”
“I’m so fucking… oh god!”
I came again in an instant. There wasn’t even a lead-up. It was as if he’d snapped his fingers, and I’d climaxed. The warmth and excitement overwhelmed me.
“You look so beautiful right now, Ingrid,” Keir growled. “You’re a mess, as is this dress.”
“I’m going to… need a dresser,” I giggled, trying to catch my breath.
“Better call her back,” Keir said.
Then, he came, falling forward to kiss me.
“I fucking love doing that,” he sighed. “Now, I also should mind myself, baby, because I shouldn’t be doing that.”
“Without a condom?”
“Correct.”
“What if we’re just done with them for now? The risk is minimal, and I’m so done with the logistics,” I sighed.
“But it’s important.”
“If it were so important, our usage of them would be more reliable,” I said. “We’re engaged. We’ll be married by this time next year. Why not let it go?”
He kissed my lips, then my collarbone. “I’ll think about it.”
We lay in bed quietly, his fingers running through my hair. I closed my eyes and centred myself. This was my safe place. I reminded myself he wasn’t about to leave. No matter what raced through my mind, we had one another.
Keir murmured. “It’s your time, okay? You’re right. I’m set in my ways, and I know nothing but the life I had. Now, I have to transition to royal life and supporting you.”
I groaned, “Please don’t make it sound like a burden. I cannot—”
“Hey, look at me,” Keir said.
I peered at him from his shoulder, trying to remind myself all the while that his soft voice didn’t come from a threatening place, but from one of love.
“Ingrid, it’s your turn. You’ve always been there and have been so willing to support me with no fanfare. Now? I’m at your beck and call. Whatever that means.”
Tears welled. “It means you letting me live it up at the Olympics,” I said. “And… If that—”
“That’s perfect. It’s beautiful. I want to see you happy. That’s all.”
I kissed him back, slowly letting myself give over to him. He wants to see me happy. It’s all I ever wanted. And somehow, I trusted that he meant it.
“We’re both really stubborn,” Keir continued. “Sometimes, it gets us into trouble. And by the time we have kids, we’re fucked.”
I snickered. “It will be brutal.”
“But I hope they are as strong and demanding as you are. I hope they are utterly relentless, Ingrid. Because after all you’ve been through, you still refuse to settle for okay or just good enough.”
“It’s annoying, I’m sure.”
“It can be frustrating as hell.” He kissed my forehead. “But I’d never met my intellectual or athletic match before you, Ingrid. You have made me better for it.”
“Just love me and support me. And, yes, give me children before I’m too old and we’ll be fine.”
“I sincerely doubt I will be able to hold back long,” Keir said. “Because when you pout, I fold like a house of cards and I don’t even care.”
I giggled. “You really do. But I’m the spoiled youngest child, so what did you expect? My only father figure is a man who cries at a Christmas commercial.”
Keir chuckled. “I promise to never mention that to Rick.”
“He is secure enough that it wouldn’t register. Our people fell hook, line, and sinker for him because of his open-hearted love for all of us.”
“Of course they did. He’s witty and charming. And you? You’re sweet and kind and determined enough to learn a language to spite your ex. People will fall in love with you.”
“Then trust it,” I said. “Trust that they will figure me out. And trust me to handle it. I have lived this life my entire life. I have had every bit of me picked apart. I’m still here. And like you said, I’m strong. Just love me. We’ll figure it out—together.”
He wrapped me up tighter. “As ever. You’re right. We’re a team.”