Chapter 15
Shane
When I opened my eyes, I saw Ruben’s bed. He was awake. But he quickly closed his eyes again.
Grinning, I rolled onto my back. He was such a cowardly bastard.
The movement made my brain protest. Damn. What had I drunk again? The headache of the century was pounding behind my forehead. I should have stayed away from that herbal schnapps.
My only consolation was that my stomach wasn’t acting up. Shit. But spending my day off in this state wasn’t exactly pleasant either.
Groaning, I held a hand over my eyes. Maybe that way I could push back all the misery hidden behind them.
“Hangover?” came the question from the bed next to mine.
“Ah,” I grunted.
Ruben sighed, and his bedspread rustled. Shortly after, I heard his bare feet shuffling across the wooden floor. Damn it. I didn’t even manage to admire his cute ass. Hadn’t we agreed that from now on it was officially allowed?
Okay. I might not be able to reconstruct the details of our conversation on the dance floor. But I still remembered clearly the gist of what I had said. And as soon as I could, I would tell Ruben.
I heard him in the bathroom and tried to control the pounding in my head.
“Do you need anything?”
I hadn’t noticed that Ruben had come back from the bathroom and crept up to my bed. I squinted at him through narrowed eyes.
His face showed a mixture of concern, frustration, affection, resignation, and gentleness? I was most likely imagining it all. Instead of answering, I grabbed his wrist and pulled him onto the mattress with me.
He awkwardly supported himself and sat on the edge of the bed. I closed my eyes again and leaned against his thigh.
“Will you make my headache go away?”
Ruben laughed softly. “Oh man. I predicted that last night.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I grumbled into the pillows.
His muscles and tendons twitched under my hand. If I knew what he was planning to do with his fingers, I would let go of him. But I was afraid he would simply take them away. That was not an option at all at the moment. I continued to hold his wrist loosely and enjoyed the warmth of his body.
“Should I bring you some water? Breakfast?”
I fought against the weights on my neck that were pressing me painfully onto the mattress and pushed myself up.
“I can make you soup, too. Let me think for a moment. To compensate for the lost minerals and electrolytes, you need water, salt, vitamins, a little fat. I’ll think of something.”
“You’re pretty awesome, you know that, right?” I asked him. My voice was hoarse and worn out because I had sung too loudly, partied too long, and drunk too much yesterday. Not because my hungover mood made me realize what I had let slip through my fingers that summer.
Ruben snorted with amusement. “Yes, I’m brilliant.” He rolled his eyes. “I’d do that for any friend.”
I laid my leaden head back down. Skin to skin with Ruben’s thigh again.
“That’s what I mean. It’s not a given that someone would care like that. You spoil me. I don’t know if that’s a good thing.”
Now he pulled his hand out of my grip. I wanted to growl in protest, but I let him have his way.
And I was rewarded with his fingers in my hair. “A little pampering never hurt anyone.”
My head was still struggling with German herbs that had been processed into high-proof alcohol, and I couldn’t say everything I wanted to.
I concentrated on the most important thing.
“I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate it. In the summer.
Or didn’t show you properly. At least not in a way that made you understand that I did recognize it.
” A sharp pain shot from the bridge of my nose to the back of my head.
“Ah. Fuck. I’m talking shit. My head is killing me. ”
Ruben’s gentle laughter washed over me. “It’s okay. We were busy during the summer.”
Now I snorted with amusement. You could call it that. “We were. The sex that kept us busy probably distracted me from other things about you.”
“Hmm.” Ruben grunted, offering no real response.
I made another attempt to get eye level with him and sat up straighter with great effort, which unfortunately caused Ruben’s hand to slip off my head.
“What else is there about you that I’ve missed? Do you surf?”
Within seconds, Ruben’s expression changed from sheer surprise with his mouth open to utter amusement, his mouth stretching into a huge grin. “No. I don’t surf. I never have and never will.”
“Don’t say that,” I protested. “Why have we never done that together? I’m a surf instructor. Don’t you think it’s strange?”
“Not really.” Ruben folded his hands in his lap.
The drinking had made me melancholic. I wanted to know everything about Ruben and cursed myself for letting the opportunity slip by in the summer.
“Come on. I’m going to grab some breakfast and then we’ll go boarding.”
Ruben blinked. “Excuse me?”
“Or do you have something better to do? I have the day off today, and so do you, right?”
“More or less. I’m taking over for Madeleine at eight o’clock because she couldn’t find a babysitter, but . . . ”
I didn’t let him finish. Instead, I got up and pulled him out of bed with me.
“We’ll be back long before then. It’s the best cure for a hangover. Get on your board. The cold air will clear your foggy brain.”
Ruben shook his head and pulled his hand out of mine. “I don’t have any equipment, and most importantly, I don’t have a hangover.”
“We’ll get some from Anton. That’s why we’re here at a resort. You can borrow it without any problems.”
Grinning, I grabbed his hand again. “What do you say? If we hurry, we can still make it to the communal breakfast, and you won’t have to prepare anything.”
“That’s no problem.”
“I know,” I replied. “But this way we’ll save time. I promise I’ll take care of you. When was the last time you did something new? We never have time off together. This is your chance. What else do you do when you’re not working?”
Ruben tilted his head in thought. “I go to the gym now and then. I know you can’t tell.
That’s why I go rarely. But sometimes . .
. After the workout I usually feel worse than before—before I thought I had to follow through on my resolutions.
Then I give up again. I’d rather read. Look for recipes. Try out new combinations.”
I studied Ruben as he fumbled for words. Was he embarrassed to talk to me about these things? Damn it. He had sucked my cock, and I had played with his ass, and those were the things he could hardly confide in me?
I didn’t even have to think about my answer. “I’m not a fan of the gym either. I prefer to be outside doing what I enjoy. If it’s good for my body, all the better.”
Ruben nodded with a bitter smile on his lips. “Yeah. And what I do is unfortunately not at all good for the bodies of the online dating age.”
Before we started anything again, we should talk. But Ruben looked so lost at that moment that I had to touch him. I put one hand around his waist. Ran my fingers over his soft sides. With the other, I stroked his cheek.
“What you do is one of the most important things in the world. No matter what dating culture dictates right now—who even is that anyway—I promise you here and now that until the end of my life, I will choose every meal you cook over a protein shake.”
He rolled his eyes dramatically and released his free, honest laugh. “Ha, ha. As if that were difficult. Those things are awful.”
He leaned toward me willingly. Those intent, dark brown eyes resting on me. Finally, he lowered his gaze and ran his hand over my bare stomach.
“But that’s easy to say if you are in your shape.”
That argument annoyed me even when I was completely sober and had had my eight hours of beauty sleep. Now I had to control myself not to rip Ruben’s head off.
“Oh yeah?” I asked with a heavy dose of sarcasm. “Are you that superficial? Or isn’t it much easier to find my body hot and then get upset about guys like me? Because they have it easy? Then can you tell me why I’m single as you are? If everything is easy for me?”
Mah! No, I couldn’t control myself. How many times had I heard that? I had it easy. Unless I wanted to be more than a quickie, apparently.
The hangover had apparently melted away my filter. Shit. Now Ruben had to pay the price.
With a startled expression, he pulled his hand away and took a step back. My arms dropped, and I turned away, shaking my head. With my addled brain, I shouldn’t even try to have these kinds of conversations.
Behind me, Ruben snorted loudly. “But the reality is you are turning heads left and right. I’m lucky if I’m overlooked and don’t have to listen to snide comments about how I should work on myself before I allow myself to write to Mr. Supersexy.”
I turned to him abruptly. With his shoulders hunched and his lips pressed together, he stared at me. How much I hated every guy who talked to Ruben this way and made him feel he wasn’t good enough.
I quickly took a step closer to him. “You’re right.
That’s shitty and rude and belongs on a huge pile of shit with many other things.
But what—in our relationship—prompts you to make that comment?
It may be that I find one-night stands more easily than other people.
But that’s not the point here. When did I ever give the impression that I have it easy in what we have between us?
When we met, we both willingly fell into bed together right away.
Since then, you’ve been running away from me.
You don’t want to talk to me. But I could have persuaded you to have sex yesterday. ”
Ruben’s eyes widened. “You remember last night?”