Chapter 15 #2
Now I snorted and pulled him toward me. “Of course, I remember. And I also remember saying that before anything happens between us, we need to talk. Because no matter what you think, it’s not easy to want you and constantly being afraid I’m doing something wrong.
” I stroked his upper arm. “Now get dressed. I need something in my stomach, otherwise my head will kill me. And then we’ll go snowboarding.
I don’t think it will hurt either of us! ”
He furrowed his brow and swallowed hard. “You still want to go?”
“Yes. Since we’ve been here, you’ve taken care of me. Cooked for me. Today I’ll show you what’s good for me.”
Right as I was about to walk past him into the bathroom, he grabbed my upper arm. “Thanks, Shane. It’s not easy for me . . . ” He left the sentence unfinished. He furrows his eyebrows and wears a slightly perplexed expression on his face.
His scent still warm from the bed, the fresh smell of his brushed teeth, his sweet deodorant lulled me and drew me—as always—into Ruben’s spell.
I leaned toward him and kissed him on the corner of his mouth. My lips rubbed half over his beard, half over his velvety mouth. Heaven. I had to force myself to pull away from him.
“I have no idea what I’m talking about or what this is.
Maybe it helps that I’m usually pretty quick-witted.
” And that this thing with you is too important to me to pay attention to my feelings.
Of course, I didn’t say that. I couldn’t completely expose myself, and I didn’t want to pressure him.
Besides, I was slowly getting scared of what answer I might get from him.
Ruben held me tightly. He reached out to me with his whole body. I didn’t want to hold back any longer. I wanted to throw all my principles overboard and Ruben onto the bed and finally show him how much I wanted him.
Highly focused, Ruben shifted his weight to the edge of his board and came to a gentle stop. He grinned broadly at me.
“It works.”
I laughed. “Of course it works.” Proudly, he straightened up more and started sliding again. He immediately bent his knees and shifted his weight.
“You’re doing great!”
He glanced sideways at me. “Ha, ha. I know how I’m doing.”
“For a complete novice, you’re fantastic.”
A horde of children on skis whizzed past us. They were all no older than five.
From his crouched position, Ruben watched the group go by and then finally glanced at me. He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. “Yes. I’m a prodigy.”
It took some effort not to laugh at his crestfallen expression. “Don’t pay attention to those kids. They couldn’t even walk properly yet when they were strapped onto skis. Your only benchmark is yourself. What can you do today? That’s what counts.”
Ruben grunted and straightened up. “You sound like a calendar page. Come on, let’s get going.”
“All right, then. I’ll go first. You can follow my turns.”
“Great.”
We drove on slowly. Every glance back at Ruben confirmed what I had already noticed. He approached the task with the same thoroughness he used when chopping vegetables. Maybe not quite as elegantly, but I certainly wasn’t going to tell him that.
Halfway up the baby hill, I stopped at the side and watched Ruben take his last turn and slowly approach me smiling. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a movement. I cautiously turned my head and froze, then I shouted to him, “Watch out!”
I didn’t know exactly what I was trying to achieve with that.
At that moment, the teenager crashed into Ruben’s knee, sending him flying forward and straight toward me.
Undecided whether I should save myself, whether that was still possible, or whether I could still help Ruben in some way, I stood there and mentally prepared myself for the collision.
Which happened pretty much exactly as I expected.
Ruben in my arms, a board against my shins, the sensation of flying for a fraction of a second. And then the impact. Exactly as hard as I expected. The snow cushioned our landing somewhat, but the shock through my bones and limbs was unavoidable.
But it was immediately clear that I wasn’t seriously injured. A scratch on my leg, and that was it. I immediately got up, pulled my arm out from under him, and checked Ruben out.
“Are you okay?”
His eyes were closed, and he was turning his head from side to side.
“Ruben?”
Finally, he opened his eyes and laughed. “I thought I could tell everyone I hadn’t fallen once.”
I sorted out my board and slipped out of the binding.
The teenager came up to us. “I’m sorry,” he said, then continued on his way.
Instead of worrying about him, I turned my attention back to Ruben.
I kneeled over him while he was still lying on his back.
“No one can remain standing when someone hits them in the side of the legs.”
Ruben made an indefinable sound. “Ah.”
“Are you okay?” He appeared kind of dazed.
He stretched, and I leaned closer to him. He tapped my helmet with his gloved finger. “Yes.”
He had his dark eyes fixed on me. His mouth opened slightly. He ran his finger over my brow.
As if his hand had connected with my face, I moved closer to him.
“After our argument today, I didn’t think we’d have that much fun.”
He looked so serious when he said that. His dark eyelashes emphasized his concern. The corners of my mouth twitched upward. “What argument?” I teased.
Surprised, he pulled his hand back slightly and laughed when he realized I was joking.
“That’s what has always fascinated me about you. No matter how important a discussion is, you fight it out and don’t let it get you down but continue in good spirits.”
I didn’t know what he was getting at with that statement. “It’s not that I shake everything off and forget.”
This time Ruben didn’t let himself be deterred and stroked my chin.
“That’s not what I meant. Sometimes an argument or a harsh word affects me for weeks.
You’re much better at dealing with these kinds of things and don’t let them negatively impact your life.
But I’m under no illusion that you’ve forgotten our argument in the cabin.
” He let out a heavy, sorrowful sigh that made me smile.
“An argument or a misunderstanding doesn’t mean it’s all over. We can fight and still have a great day on the slopes.”
The seconds ticked by. What was Ruben searching for in my face? What answer did he think he would find?
Finally, he nodded. “I guess I understand. Usually, those things happen quite quickly. Something isn’t right. I get blocked. Ghosted.”
I inhaled sharply. Obviously, I didn’t have the slightest idea about Ruben’s former dating life.
“I promise you one thing. If I don’t want to talk to you, if I don’t want to have contact, I’ll tell you. If I don’t, it always means I want to be close to you.”
Ruben slid his hand down my neck and pulled me toward him.
His warm breath brushed against my skin. My face. All I could see was Ruben. Had I said yesterday that I wanted to wait? For what? He was here. He wanted me. And I wanted him. More than anything else.
Thanks to the helmets, I had to tilt my head back a lot to reach Ruben’s lips.
And it remained a whisper. A delicate kiss, a ray of sunshine breaking through snow-covered fir trees.
When, after a winter, the first rays of spring warmed skin tormented by the cold.
They caressed it and brought it back to life.
And just like the sun, Ruben’s kiss took on a life of its own.
Within seconds, it became as hot as the summer sun and threatened to set me, a highly flammable material, ablaze with its sparks.
“More!” Ruben demanded.
I opened my mouth and tasted his tongue. The memory of the summer, of what we had shared, came crashing down on me like an avalanche.
“Get lost! This is a family slope. Perverts.” The angry voice of another skier drove a wedge between us, and we parted ways.
The next moment, someone whistled. Appreciatively? “Get a room, boys.”
I scrambled to my feet and Ruben pushed himself up too.
His cheeks were bright red. So were his lips. I looked around for my board and grabbed it.
“Maybe we should go back.”
Ruben nodded frantically. “Yeah. I have to go to the kitchen too.”
“That’s not what I meant,” I whispered.
His cheeks turned even darker, and he let out a squeaky sound that I couldn’t quite identify.
When we arrived at the resort, Ruben turned toward the main building, but I grabbed his elbow and pulled him toward the staff cabins.
“But I have to return the things.”
“We’ll do that later. I’ll return everything for you when you have to leave.”
His gaze sought mine, and he opened his mouth. A cloud puffed out of it. “I thought you didn’t want to . . . ”
Shaking my head, I trudged on. “I’m not saying it’s the best idea. But maybe we shouldn’t take it too slow. That’s what I think. If you . . . ”
Ruben overtook me at a speed that took me by surprise. “No! No objection from me.”
Laughing, I ran after him. We frantically put our boards down on the porch of our cabin.
Ruben had already thrown himself into my arms before the door closed behind us. We hastily pulled off each other’s jackets, sweaters, and snow pants. Interrupted by stormy kisses, we finally stood in front of each other wearing only briefs and T-shirts.
The cabin was much too cold for this state of undress to be comfortable. I urged Ruben onto his bed and pulled the blanket over us.
A shiver ran through his body, and he buried his face in my neck. “Thank God. It’s cold.”
“The only downside is that now I can’t see you. We should turn up the heat.”
He snorted slightly. “Don’t talk. Kiss me.”
But instead of obeying his command, I leaned back slightly and grinned. Ruben didn’t even notice how bossy he was becoming in bed. The transformation was fascinating.
Since I wasn’t doing what he wanted, he pulled me close, so our bodies touched from head to toe.