Chapter 37
Iglance up from my sports magazine, watching as Dylan laughs while cooking dinner in the kitchen. Her smile lights up the whole apartment. Lately, I can’t take my eyes off her whenever she’s around.
Who am I kidding? From the moment I first laid eyes on her, they may as well have been slathered in gorilla glue and stuck to her permanently.
The way we’ve all let her take over the kitchen so frequently—and definitely not because she’s a woman, but because cooking for other people clearly brings her genuine joy—is a testament to how she’s started breaking down each of our walls.
Before, occasionally, Killian would wow us with some new vegetarian dish, or I’d whip up a Laotian meal from time to time. Jayden would nip into the kitchen to stuff some protein down and then quickly exit. But she’s changed all that.
Seeing how relaxed she is joking with Killian and Jayden makes me twitch with jealousy. I want her all to myself, but that selfish urge goes against how we’ve always done things.
I know I said I was open-minded, but the more time I’ve had to think about it, the more I realize that words are very different from reality. Even the idea of what we talked about is starting to dig at me like needles under my skin.
“It’s different with Dylan,” I mutter under my breath. I can’t shake this feeling that I want her all to myself. But it’s looking more and more like if any of us are going to get to be with her, we’re all going to have to be with her. And that’s just not how we’ve ever done things around here.
It’s not how the entire world works, either.
We’re not some fucking harem.
My eyes trace over her body as she moves gracefully through the kitchen. I imagine pulling her into my arms, feeling her soft skin pressed against me, hearing her moan my name...
I shift in my seat, forcing myself to look away before my thoughts wander too far. Dylan’s not just some random hookup—she could be something real. Something lasting.
And, the more I think about it, I realize I’ll be damned if I’m going to share her the way I would any other girl.
She’s too important for that.
If she were just anyone, someone who didn’t make me feel like this, I might be more open. But she is perfection in a tank top—not just her body but her personality and her mind… I’d go as far as to say her soul… and that makes me feel possessive.
Mine.
I know pursuing her exclusively could jeopardize everything between the four of us. But I need clarity, even if it means risking it all.
I’ve made up my mind. I know what I said to the guys, but in the clear light of day it’s time to get real.
I’m going to tell Dylan how I feel. Let her choose me and only me. It’s the only way forward, no matter how messy it gets. I just hope I don’t end up pushing her away for good.
I take a deep breath, steeling myself for the conversation ahead.
Killian closes his laptop and walks over, his expression serious.
“So…” he says, his eyes darting between me and Jayden. “Are you guys ready to tell Dylan she doesn’t have to pick just one of us?”
I let out a short laugh, shaking my head. “Come on, man. I know we talked about it conceptually, but you know that’s not how things work. Dylan’s not just some girl we met at a club. This is different.”
Killian frowns. “Is it though? Some of us have shared before. Why would this be any different?”
My jaw clenches. “Because I want more than just a fling. Dylan could be something real for me. For us.”
Jayden mutes the TV and looks over, raising an eyebrow. “So you do want to force her to choose, despite everything we talked about? That’s a risky game, Noah. What if we end up pushing her away completely?”
I meet his gaze steadily. “Then that’s a risk we have to take. Better than living in some limbo where we all end up hurt.”
Killian sighs, raking a hand through his hair. “I don’t know, man. I think you’re playing with fire here. And I couldn’t bear to lose her just because one of us is being selfish.”
“It’s about clarity,” I say firmly. “Either we know where we stand, or we don’t stand at all.”
Jayden and Killian exchange uncertain glances. The tension in the room is palpable.
I stand, resolute in my decision. “I’ll talk to Dylan. It’s better if it comes from me. We’ll set up some dates, make it fair. But I need to know where I’m at with her. Who she wants. I’m not prepared to share her, even with you guys.”
Killian shakes his head slowly. “Just...be careful, Noah. We don’t want to lose her, not over this. And I’m pretty sure she’s not going to like your ultimatum.”
My heart pounds as I walk toward the kitchen. I know I’m steering us into rough waters, but it’s the only way I can see clearly.
I just hope we make it through the storm.