Chapter 38
Idrop my rugby bag on the floor with a thud, rotating my sore shoulder right as Jonah sprints past, rubbing against my leg in a warm welcome. Practice was intense, and I seem to have aggravated an old injury that I haven’t had to deal with in a while.
The guys are already sitting around the dining table, shifting glances between each other.
Something’s up. Their body language screams serious conversation ahead. My stomach knots. What have we done? Are we getting evicted already?
Noah clears his throat as I grab a plate. “So, Dylan. We’ve been thinking...”
He pauses as if unable to speak any more words, and Killian jumps in. “Maybe you should go on individual dates with each of us. You know, to see who you really vibe with.”
My fork halts halfway to my mouth. “You want me to date all of you? Like some bachelor-style competition?” I narrow my eyes at Noah. “So I was right… you’re trying to force me to pick. But you’re doing it in some weird way that feels like a dating game show.”
Jayden fidgets with his napkin. “Not a competition exactly. More like... helping you figure out the best fit.”
I set my fork down, my appetite almost vanishing. After the drama at my old club, being forced to choose sides nearly crushed me. And here it is, happening again, albeit in entirely different circumstances.
Don’t they get it? This will only drive me away, not pull me closer.
But I’m tired of always making compromises. If they want to play this game, fine. Time to raise the stakes.
I force a sweet smile. “Sure, I’ll go out with each of you.” I pause. “Oh, and Kai, too. Just to keep my options really open.”
Killian’s eyes widen in surprise. Noah looks like he just chugged sour milk.
They glance at each other.
“Well, that’s one way to do it,” Killian finally says with an awkward chuckle.
Noah grimaces. “If that’s what you need.”
I poke at my food, my appetite now fully gone. My show of nonchalance masks the turmoil twisting inside. The thought of losing any of them makes my chest ache. My shoulder pain intensifies, as if to punctuate the emotions swirling around me.
What have I gotten myself into? Why did I ever think I could make it work with more than one of these testosterone-fueled men? I could never be enough for all of them. Hell, I might not even be enough for one of them.
I stare blankly at my half-eaten dinner, the clinking of silverware and awkward glances bouncing around the tense silence.
Part of me wants to take it back, to say I was just kidding about Kai. But why should I be the only one compromising here? If they want to put me through some twisted dating game, why not make them squirm a little too?
“So...dates. This should be interesting,” Killian says, trying to cut through the discomfort.
“Yeah, interesting,” Noah mutters.
I clear my throat. “Look, it doesn’t have to be weird. We’re friends first, right? So really, these are just...friend dates.”
Jayden nods slowly. “Right, just hanging out. Getting to know each other better.”
“Exactly. Keep it casual,” I say with false confidence. Inside, my thoughts churn while my stomach flip-flops.
Did I just make a huge mistake? What if this backfires and I end up losing them all? But I couldn’t just let them corner me into choosing one because they’re in some possessive alpha male delusion.
The more I think about it, the more I’m certain this was Noah’s idea. He’s the one I thought would be the most reluctant to share. And once one person isn’t okay with an arrangement like the one that was starting to emerge, it kind of fucks it for everyone else involved.
I push back my chair and grab my plate. “Well, I’m beat. Gonna call it a night. Thanks for the food.”
As I rinse off my dish, Jayden approaches tentatively. “Dyl, about all this...”
I cut him off. “We’ll figure it out. Goodnight.”
Before he can respond, I slip away to my bedroom, closing the door firmly behind me.
Flopping onto my bed, I let out a long breath. What a mess. But maybe this is the only way to really know. Or to show them how it feels to be put in this position.
I just hope we don’t destroy everything in the process.
I stare out my bedroom window at the twinkling city lights, feeling conflicted.
Part of me is thrilled by the idea of intimate dates with each of the guys. A chance to connect one-on-one and see if a deeper bond emerges.
But another part aches, knowing this could drive a wedge between us.
The easy camaraderie we’ve built as roommates and teammates hangs delicately in the balance. What would happen if I realized two of us clicked better than the others? Given what’s happened already, would it be possible to have a relationship with just one of them? Or is this all just fucked from the start?
I take out my journal, hoping to make sense of my tangled thoughts.
No matter what happens, I need to stay true to myself, I write. Even if it means risking everything. Love shouldn’t be about losing yourself, but finding where you truly belong.
As scary as it feels, this is the only way forward. For all of us to be honest about what we really want.
And for me to listen to my heart, even if it doesn’t follow the expected path.
I take a deep breath and close my journal. Whatever comes next, I know I can handle it. As long as I stay grounded in who I am.
With the guys, with rugby, with love—I need to trust my instincts. That’s when I’m at my best.
When I leap without overthinking. When I play from the heart.
That’s when magic happens.
This is just another kind of game.
And I don’t intend to lose.