Chapter 10
Three Months Later
My jaw ticked as I sat across from Shayna. It took three months of therapy from my baby to get me to this point. Out of all the years I spent stewing in my anger for this broad, I was finally able to sit down with her ass and have an open mind about the bullshit I knew she was about to kick to me. I had Jax and Kenzi sit with us because if I was being honest, she wouldn't make it out of this office alive.
"Ms. Shayna, I believe since you are the root of you guys' fallout, you should be the one to lead the conversation," Kenzi asserted, sounding like the psychiatrist she was weeks away from being.
"As long as he agrees to stay in his seat, I don't mind."
"Mekai?" Kenzi questioned.
"Just spit it out so I can get out of here."
Shayna shook her head. "You're not my son," she blurted. The room was so quiet we could hear a mouse piss on a cotton ball.
I scanned her face for any truth in her confession and saw nothing but pain, regret, and sadness.
"Wh—" Jax cleared his throat. "What are you talking about, Ma?"
"Let her speak, Jaxsie."
"She's not saying anything. Estoy escuchando, Máma ." (I'm listening, Ma).
" èl no es mi hijo ! (He's not my son!) Your father cheated on me with my best friend. I told him that I couldn't or rather wouldn't care for a child that's not mine, but he refused to send you to live with that bitch! She became a crackhead after she had you, so he didn't even let her see you. I had to be the one to care for you, and I hated it! Eventually, she died, and I just couldn't get over the product of their infidelity," she cried.
"Lies! Honor would have told us... He would have told me ." My teeth gritted as I spoke.
"He didn't want you to know or feel any different about the way you were conceived. He did everything he could to try to make it up to me, including getting me pregnant with Jaxson. I'm sorry. I mistreated you, and I'm so sorry for that. Your heart was so beautiful, and it killed me how kind you always were to me, even when I tried to ruin your life. When Honor sent you to live with your grandmother, that's when I started to realize what a fucked up person I was. He tore into me so badly that day that I contemplated taking my own life. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I had to apologize for the part I played in how you are today."
"You ain't play a part in shit to do with my life. When I left that house, I felt free from anything to do with you."
"Babe… What did we talk about at your session with me?"
"I let it go, Mona," I half-lied. This broad still made my ass itch.
"You haven't, and that is why you harbor so much anger and resentment toward her. Granted, the things she's done and said to you weren't right, but she is taking accountability for that now. You have to admit that you're still hurting and begin the process of healing. Tell Ms. Shayna how you feel, Mekai. Get it out, then start to let go."
I hated that she was acting this way. I wanted Kenzi, the freak, not Kenzi, the therapist.
"Just because my father stepped out on you and had a kid, that didn't warrant you to treat me that way. I didn't ask to be here. You wanted to hurt my father by hurting the one thing he loved more than you. While he was out working or doing charity events, you were at home drowning in alcohol that I had to clean up. The only thing I'm sorry for is my father breaking your heart, but everything else that happened was meant to happen. I forgive you, but I don't want a relationship with you, especially now knowing you ain't even my mother. Good luck with your health and whatever else. I'm done," I finished.
"Why didn't y'all tell us this, Ma?" Jaxson asked.
"I told you why."
"All this could have been avoided if y'all did."
"How so?" she asked.
"Because at least Mekai would have known why you treated him like that and could have detached himself from the bullshit early on. He held on to the hope that you and he could have a real relationship and that you'd stop treating him like trash. I didn't tell you this, but you hurting him is why I stopped coming around as much after college. Honor told us that we should love you despite your transgressions, so that's why I've been helping you after all these years. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't have had to be put in the middle of this... I would have chosen my brother."
I could hear Shayna gasp and shook my head at her being offended. "Your own mother?"
Jax nodded. "Affirmative. You want to know why? It's because the things you said and did to him were wrong as fuck, and it hurt me more than you know. He didn't have anyone after Honor died except Grandma Inez. I'm not saying that I still wouldn't have been there for you, but spending time with you would have been to a minimum. You were wrong, Mamà ."
"I know that, Jaxson. I'm apologizing for what I did. Mekai's right. He didn't ask to be here."
"Well, if that's all, I gotta go," I declared, taking Kenzi's hand while standing. "I'll see you at the house, Bro," I told Jax. He nodded while Kenzi and I walked out of his office.
"How do you feel?" Kenzi asked once we made it to my bike. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and I kissed her lips.
"Surprisingly, I feel lighter. Not having to wonder why Shayna was being an evil bitch to me releases those chains I felt wrapped around me. My pops should have told me, but I get why he didn't. I'm sure it was a mistake because I never saw that woman around."
"And how do you feel about your birth mother? I mean, I know you don't know her, but after hearing that you had a different mother, how does that make you feel?"
"Can't have an emotion for shit I don't know about."
"I'm happy for you."
"Oh yeah? How happy?" I smirked at her.
"Take me home, and I'll show better than I can tell you."
"Let's get it," I said, slapping her ass. She giggled as she climbed on the back of my bike.
After we got rid of Nino, Grue flew out to Memphis to be with his girl. Their baby was due next month, and I promised Kenzi I'd take her there to spend a month there once they had her so she could get acquainted with her new niece. I planned to propose to her there because Mona Lisa was my one.
If anyone had told me that I'd find my person in Kenzi, I probably would have laughed in their faces. For years, I allowed Shayna's mistreatment of me to block any potential of having genuine love.
I don't know how Kenzi did it, but rescuing her and seeing her rare beauty made something shift inside of me. I knew it was the Big Homie's way of telling me that she would be the one to heal my broken heart.
I would fuck up the world behind Kenzi Elaine Abara, soon to be Santana. She was my love, my world, my purpose — my muse. And if I had the chance to do it over, I would choose her again.
The End