Ruin

22. Trixie

TWENTY-TWO

TRIXIE

I hated the fact Declan wouldn’t get his wound looked at, and he kept telling me after his shower he would get it fixed. Our quick shower has turned into sex, and now I’m on my knees sucking on his perfect dick.

Licking his head, I again take his dick into my mouth, I know he won’t last much longer, because whenever I go down on him and he's about to come, he always grabs my hair tight close to my scalp.

As I move up and down his dick, I hear him grunting out my name, his grip gets a little tighter as I suck harder on him.

“Fuck, your mouth is so good,” Declan shouts, as he starts thrusting in and out of my mouth, his head hitting the back of my throat hard, making me gag. Yet I don’t want him to stop.

The best thing about going down on Declan, is that I can feel his pulse on my lips, and right now it’s rapid, he enjoys my mouth, as much as I enjoy sucking him off.

As he continues to take control and thrust hard and fast, I place my hands on his thighs.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Declan shouts as his cum hits the back of my throat. His hand hard in my hair, my hands glued to his ass, my nails scratching him softly as he continues to thrust in my mouth, making sure every drop of him is in my mouth.

Declan pulls away from me, and I lick my lips as Declan pulls my hair for me to stand up. As I stand in front of him, he slaps his lips into mine, and I wrap my arms around him as he deepens the kiss, and I hear him moan against my lips.

Pulling away from me he smiles. “I think we need to get some food,” he tells me as he turns the shower off, and I nod. I’m getting hungry.

Declan wraps a towel around me, and I follow him out of the room as he dries himself off. As he gets dressed, I walk over to my phone, shit. My fingers freeze over the screen with what I see.

Dad

Where are you?

Dad

Please call me, school called to tell me you didn’t go in today.

Dad

I’m going to call the police.

Robert

You better be home tonight!

Robert

You can’t hide from me.

Ignoring him, I send a quick message to my dad and throw my phone back into my bag before Declan sees the message from Robert.

Trixie

I’m fine, I'll be home later.

The number of times I’ve thought about telling Declan about Robert has been crazy. I could tell him everything. After what he told me about his summer, which was the worst thing I think I’ve heard in my life. Knowing Cain grew up in that place, I cried. Because of the way Declan was describing it, it sounds worse than hell.

And Declan spent his summer in there, so he and Cain can control it together. I mean there is a lot more to this family than anyone knows.

It being one of the reasons I keep thinking about telling him about Robert, but I also know like last time I told someone, Robert and his mom will both make it look like I’m the one who wanted it. I’m the one who wanted Robert to touch me, and there was never any rape involved.

I know Declan said he’s with me, but how much would he believe my words over both of theirs?

I jump a little when I feel Declan’s lips on my bare shoulder. “Hey, you okay?” he asks, turning me around to face him. “Now I don’t mind you being naked all the time, but I need some food first, and sort this out.” He points to the bullet wound, and I nod a little.

I’m fine. Dad just asked where I was. Told him I’ll be back later.

“Good because after food we’re going somewhere.” He winks, and leans down to give me a kiss. “Now please get dressed, before I spend my whole day here,” he jokes, and walks to the dresser. He throws over a black t-shirt to me. “You look sexy in my clothes.” I stand there for a moment, and Declan stares at me. “Not a mind reader,” Declan looks at me as if he knows I’m thinking something I shouldn’t be.

Maybe I shouldn’t be thinking about what I am. Am I really craving it this much, craving for him to do it?

You…you said every time I come you would…you would cut me. I came in the shower.

I can’t even look at him as I sign to him, because he must think I’m crazy. My sight moves to my wrists which haven’t been touched for two days now, and I’ve had no reason to cut myself. Robert hasn’t touched me, so why would I. But yet, I want to feel the pain of the knife cutting me.

Declan coughs, and I look up at him. “Can you look at me when you talk. So, you like the knife?” He raises his brow at me, and smiles. “So, what do you like about knives?” he asks.

Oh, what do I tell him? I try to think of something which will make him feel as if it’s his fault that I like it.

You still have more letters to carve onto me, and I like you close to my pussy.

My reply makes him smile, which relaxes me a little. He believes me, I mean it is half the truth. I do want him to finish his name on me.

He tilts his head one side to the other, then grabs the knife from the dresser. “Lie on the bed, and open wide for me,” Declan tells me and moves the knife between his fingers.

I drop the towel, and quickly get on the bed, and open wide for him.

“It is a sexy view.” Declan walks to the end of the bed, and puts his knees between my legs. “And you smell so fucking heavenly.” He kisses my clit, which makes me jolt a little, but the moment I feel the tip of the knife on my skin, I relax.

How messed up does this make me? Being relaxed at the feeling of a knife cutting my skin. I take in a deep breath as I feel the skin being cut, and Declan’s lips back on my clit.

“You think I can tease you to the point you come to the edge, then leave you until I get to fuck you again?” Declan asks, as he continues to carve the letter in my skin.

This is what it feels like to get a hit from a drug, craving it so much your body relaxes the moment it hits you. Getting him to cut me, mark me with his name, is like that drug. But once he’s written every letter of his name, how can I get him to continue cutting me a little here and there, without sounding like a fucking freak.

I close my eyes wanting to feel every cut, I take a deep breath in feeling the hot air escaping his mouth, on my pussy, which is already getting wet at the thought of the knife, and his lips on me. God, I’m messed up.

“A few more times to come, and my whole name will be on you forever.” His breath hits my pussy, and he licks me making me moan, but he then stands up and looks down at me. “Either I’m fucking crazy, or very hungry, because I have a sexy naked girl on my bed, and I’m about to walk away. I’m an idiot.” He adjusts himself a little which makes me laugh. “Before the day is finished, I’m burying my face, and dick inside you.”

If you don’t, I’ll have to finish myself.

“Don’t you fucking dare, you’re mine now. Every single orgasm is mine.” How do I tell him that every orgasm I’ve had are his? I’ve never had one with Robert, why would I? I hate him, it hurts, it always fucking hurts. “Come on, let's get food or I’m going to lock the door, and you can fix my wound.” His wounds make me shoot up into a sitting position which makes him laugh. “Joking. I can fix myself up.” He winks, and walks back over to the dresser and throws the knife on top of it.

I get dressed, and follow Declan out of the bedroom. I hear talking downstairs, which means his brothers are still here.

“Look sleeping beauty is awake,” Mason jokes.

“Not my fault you’re the ugly brother,” Declan replies, making them all laugh. He sits down on the couch and pulls me down to sit with him.

I look at his brothers, and not one of them is ugly. I know Declan was only joking, but all four of them are gorgeous. They could be on the cover of a magazine or something, because they could make me buy anything.

“You want to talk to Lileah, she’s been stress eating. She begged Hayden to drive down to help you.” I look over at the kitchen where Lileah is cooking something. “Then went crazy at me because I fucked up,” Miles tells him, and Declan looks over at her.

“How much did she hear?” Declan asks.

“All of it,” Hayden replies, and Declan gets up from the couch and walks over to the kitchen.

I watch him, and he wraps his arm over her shoulder and pulls her in closer to him. He says something which makes her laugh, and she wraps both her arms around his waist. He brings her over to the couch, and sits her down.

“Want to go out for dinner?” Declan asks.

“Sure. Mom called, told her everything is fine here, and to enjoy their trip,” Hayden tells him, and they have a silent conversation for a moment. “Dad knows, told him everything is under control, and Cain is handling it.”

There is a silence between them, and I shift in my chair, listening to the talk about the world they live. Can I live this life? A life where I’m not scared Robert will come into my bedroom and hurt me, or one where I don’t hurt myself anymore.

“Shall we go?” Declan asks me, and I nod. “Pizza or burger?”

Pizza, and cheesecake.

“Cheesecake it is.” Declan looks over at Lileah, and pulls her closer. “I’m good, no need to worry.”

“Always going to worry about you.” I hear her reply to him.

From what Declan has told me about what the family does, I don’t blame her for always worrying about them. Now I know about it, every time Declan tells me he is away for family stuff, I’ll be worried all the time until he messages me.

“Mason, are you fighting at the club this week?” Declan asks.

“Tonight, you coming?”

“Can’t, need to take someone home, but can you ask Blake about Trixie’s car, and how long it will be?” Declan asks him, and Mason wraps his arm over my shoulder.

“Anything for the new girl, welcome to the family. No matter what anyone tells you, I’m the nicest one out of all of them. The one you need to worry about is Miles.” Mason stops talking when everyone starts laughing at him, and he pushes Declan and Hayden to keep walking.

“Says the person who, only a few hours ago, was beating someone up with a baseball bat.” Miles jokes with him, and Mason looks down at me shaking his head in a playful way, as if a child has been asked if they did something and want to be cute and say no.

“Which was also wrapped in barbed wire,” Declan quickly adds, and this time I do look up at Mason in shock.

What the hell? Are they really all crazy and messed up?

“Don’t listen to them, I wouldn’t hurt a fly.” Mason tells me as we exit the house, his arm still wrapped over my shoulder, until I get to Declan’s car.

“Unless the fly pissed you off.” Declan stands next to me and opens the door for me, and I smile at Mason.

Why do I get the feeling he’s more trouble than he wants to admit. Getting in the car, I watch Declan talking to his brothers. They are all laughing about something. And the only thing I can think about is, really, these four are killers? Really, they look like they should be on a runway, or a movie, or if Declan’s body is anything to go by, topless models.

And yet, I’m too scared to tell Declan about the hell I live in.

* * *

Dinner was nice, it was a lot of joking and making fun of each other. What I would say normal families would be like with each other. They told me about their granddad and how he went into The Pit with Cain. I think I cried twice when they were telling me things about the past, and how Cain ended up there. Declan told me a little more about his time there, but Hayden told me he doesn’t like talking about it.

“There will be days he will zone out from us all and we know he’s there, but won’t tell us what happened. Not sure if it’s because he doesn’t want to talk about it, or he’s scared to talk about it. I’m not going to say we lost our brother when he came back, like we did Cain, but he changed. Maybe having you in his life will calm the storm he’s always fighting with.”

I didn’t know what to say to Hayden when he finished talking, the only thing I could do was nod my head at him. But it really made me think about every mark on Declan’s chest and back. What things happened to him down there? He told me a little, but not everything, a part of me was relieved when he stopped telling me about it. I wanted to cry, I wanted to hug him, I wanted to run away from him.

So, do I want to know more about that place? I don’t think so.

“One pit stop then I’ll drop you off at home,” Declan takes my hand in his and plants a kiss on the top of it. He looks down at my bracelets, and smiles. “Do you ever take them off?” he asks. I made sure there was no need for me to take them off, and if I’m honest I never take them off, unless it’s to hurt myself.

No. It would take me too long to keep taking them off and putting them back on.

Declan nods his head, and parks the car, and I look out the window to see where he’s brought me. A tattoo studio, why am I here? He was joking about matching tattoos? Wasn’t he?

Declan gets out of the car, then comes over to my side, and opens the door for me. “Told you, you’re designing my tattoo. Don’t trust them enough.”

When are you getting it done?

“Well you have to design it first, then we can go from there.” He pulls me to the studio, and opens the door for me to walk in first. “Hey, Claire.” Declan walks over to the woman on the other side of the counter.

“Declan, finally back for some more ink.” She gets up from her seat and gives him a hug.

“I am, but I want my girl to draw it for you.” Declan points to me, and Claire smiles. “How does she need to get it to you. On paper? Draw it on her iPad and then send it over to you? Whatever she sends, though, it needs to be one hundred percent the same.” Declan stops when Claire starts laughing.

“I don’t think I’ve messed up any of your tattoos have I?” She asks him to walk over to what I can only think is her workstation.

“No, but this is the first one she’s designing for me, and it’s covering most of my chest. So-”

“Don’t worry, I’ll look after you,” she tells him, and I smile with how confident she is. “If you can draw it up, color it in if there is color and email it over to me. If I have any questions I will call Declan.” She puts out her card for me, and I take it from her, and turn to Declan.

Will she cover the one on my neck?

“She will as soon as you say I can cover it with my hand.” He winks at me and tells Claire he will get a design sent over, then we leave the studio and get into the car. Straight away his phone starts ringing and I see Cain’s name appear on the dashboard of the car. “You’re on speaker, I’m not alone.”

“Hello Trixie. You need to go to The Pit tonight,” Cain tells him, and Declan takes a moment before pulling out of the spot we’re parked in, and replies to Cain.

“Why?”

“Big man wants a word, and will only talk to you. He’s your man, you trust him?” Cain asks him.

“With my life. I’m dropping Trixie off, then I’ll go down. Does Hayden know?” Declan asks, leaning back in his seat, placing his hand on my thigh while continuing his conversation with Cain.

“I’m calling him now. Mason has a fight so I’ll tell them all. Call me when you're out, you’re on your own, you want Lincoln there?” Cain asks, and Declan doesn't say anything to him, and a minute goes back before Cain speaks. “Declan?”

“I’m good. If anything happens Big Man will have my back. You think something will happen?” Declan asks, and he doesn’t sound panicked or anything, but the way his hand is placed hard on my thigh means his body is telling a different story.

“I’m not going to be with you. The last time you went down there by yourself you killed someone, this time you are just walking around. They will think you're weak. Watch your back, and fight. Show them who the boss is and never show them fear. I’ll be on the cameras.” Cain tells him and with his words my whole body tenses up, he’s going down there alone. What if something happens, and Cain can’t get there in time?

“I’ll call once I’m out.” Declan ends the call, and turns to face me. “Don’t worry so much. I’ve been through a lot worse than what they will do to me tonight.” Declan chuckles to himself, and I place my hand on his, before signing.

Will you call me too when you’re back out?

“I might climb through your window after,” he winks, then turns into my road. “I’ll call you, but I don’t know what time it’ll be.” I look up at my house and my whole body tenses up knowing nothing good will happen when I walk through the door. “If, for some reason, I’m not here to pick you up in the morning, Lileah will pick you up.” He gets out of the car, and moves to my side, opens the door, then goes to the trunk to get all my things out.

Taking my hand in his he walks me to the door, and kisses me. He kisses me hard, before pulling away from me.

“Try not to miss me too much,” he winks.

You miss me, and be safe.

“I'm always safe, and miss you already.” He leans in for a quick kiss then walks away to his car, and waits there until I get in the house, and the smile which is on my lips is gone when Robert stands in front of me.

“You’ve got some fucking explaining to do,” he snaps at me.