Ruin

21. Declan

TWENTY-ONE

DECLAN

I should have stopped to try and take the bullet out. Or I should have done a better job of stopping the bleeding, stitching myself up, maybe.

But fuck, does this hurt.

I didn't stop for two reasons. One, I didn't want the risk of getting caught by the cops. How the hell was I going to explain being shot, or the guy tied up in the trunk? And two, I have nothing in the car to help me get this bullet out.

Note to self, Declan, note to fucking self. Have a first aid kit in your car which has things to patch you up if you're shot, cut, or even dead.

There was no way I was going to ask Trixie to help me. She's probably already freaking out enough and is trying to keep herself calm until we get back. That's probably when she'll run from me. I mean, she wasn't going to say no to me out there in the middle of fucking nowhere, was she? Where was she going to go?

I know in our family business, you find a girl, and once you know the girl's it, you tell them about the family business. I mean, you can't really hide it. And to be honest, I wouldn't want to. Dad has never lied to mom, and they have been together forever, it’s taught me one thing. Trust and have faith in your partner.

But a woman I've just started sleeping with has to find out I kill people like this. I've only fucking had sex with her once, well four times in one night, and then I'm killing people in front of her.

Dad's going to kill me when he finds out. Like, what am I meant to tell her? I can't say, oh yeah, I like to kill people. No, I'm going to have to tell her about the business stuff of the family. Another thing Cain’s probably going to be angry about with me, right now I think my name is in red bold writing in his book of people he’s pissed off with.

The sharp burning pain hits me again, pulling me out of my own self-pity. Fucking hell this wound hurts.

The drive back home feels like it is going on for hours, the pain was unbearable for most of it. I tried to talk to Trixie, but she didn’t reply to anything, a shake or a nod of the head was all I got. Then when I tried to take her hand in mine, it tensed up, and she pulled it away from me. So, nothing was helping the drive home go any faster. But I’m home now, I need to clean up, and kill my brother.

Parking the car in the garage straight away, I get out, and go to the passenger side of the car, and hold the door open for Trixie. I’m actually more angry with my brothers than I am with anything or anyone else right now. Cain teaches us to the point we know what to do no matter the situation, and the man is good. He doesn't let you off the leash until he’s happy we know what we’re doing, and Miles fucked up. Walking into the kitchen, I throw the car keys on the counter.

“D-” ignoring Hayden, I go straight to Miles and punch the asshole in the face.

“You need to learn how to fucking hack properly. Did you fall asleep in Cain’s hacking system lesson? I think you did. You took me into the middle of nowhere, outnumbered.” I turn to Cain, and point at him. “You need to teach him a bit better. I do my job. Mason does his job. Hayden does his job. And this fucker takes me to the middle of nowhere. In the middle of fucking nowhere.” I go to punch Miles again, but Hayden gets in my way to stop me.

I’m pissed off. I’m angry my own brother fucked up when they were almost two hours away from me and left me to fight for myself. Miles is lucky Hayden's here to stop me.

“Fucking hell, D that hurt.” Mile stands up straight, wiping the blood off his lip. “Since when can you punch so goddamn hard?”

If only they knew how I learned how to punch so hard. The Pit can mess up your head, but it teaches you well, teaches you hardcore. I take my shirt off and throw it to the side because I need to sort this bullet wound out.

“Ah, look at D. Got lucky-” I swing around quickly and punch Mason in the face.

“You think I'm in the fucking mood for this?”

“I was trying to lighten the mood-”

“Fuck you, Mason.” I pull out a barstool by the kitchen Island and tell Trixie to sit down. Yeah, my back is probably fucked up with her nails, but it doesn't mean my brothers can be assholes about it. Well, not right now anyway.

I walk around the other side while Lileah puts the first aid kit in front of me and then sits next to Trixie.

“Fucking assholes, you know,” I say to no one in particular as I open the first aid box.

“Are you okay, D?” Hayden stands in front of me and starts looking at my wound.

“Fine. I’m fucking peachy.” I look up at Cain.

“Hayden, leave him.”

“He needs-”

“I said, leave him,” Cain tells Hayden, and he takes a step back.

“You think this is the first time I'll be stitching myself up. You know, better than that,” I almost shout at Cain. He wants to make a point, but he can fuck off.

“What happened to your hit?” I let out a chuckle, shaking my head and pull out the tweezers from the first aid kit.

“Seriously?” I ask him, taking in a deep breath getting myself ready to feel pain, which is going to be worse than what I’m feeling now.

“Just want to know what happened to him-”

“What should have happened to him, the only reason it didn't was because you-”

“That wasn’t-”

“Fuck you, Cain.” This time I do shout at him, and if it was a few months ago, there was no way in hell I would have raised my voice. I don’t think any of my brothers would ever shout at him, but not me, not now. I’ve lived his hell, and now I don’t care.

“If it wasn't for Autumn, you'd still be the dead asshole you were when you came back into our life. I thought her being in your life would have given you some kind of…I don't know, heart.” I stop when Cain starts laughing to himself. I didn’t know Cain before he went to The Pit, hell none of us did, he was eight years old, so the first time I met him was when he knocked on the door to talk to dad.

“You don't care, do you? Even now you still want the hit, the information, the family job, don't you?” I ask him, placing both my hands on the counter, he wants this conversation while I have blood dripping out of me, then so fucking be it.

“The job is what we do. You know that?”

“Yeah, I do. But you don't have to live with the fact I could have killed him a few days ago. Fuck a week ago, I could have killed him, but because of you and your fucking order, I didn't, and he hurt another child. And that's on me, not you. On fucking me. I have to hold the guilt. I have to be the one to tell myself I could have saved the kid from getting touched, but no, so fuck you, and I would have brought him back just to kill him all over again.” If that man thinks I regret what I did, and if I come across another fucker like him, I’ll kill them, too.

“And leaving him the way you did.” First time I see Cain’s lip curl up into a smile.

“Yeah. What was wrong with it?” I ask.

“Nothing. I actually liked it.” The way Cain is looking at me is how a dad would look at his kids when they do something brilliant.

“How did he leave him?” Mason asks.

“Chopped his dick off and put it in his hand so when the cops saw him, they could see it.” Miles and Mason both start laughing like a full on roar laughter.

“He was a lead though,” Cain adds.

“Don’t give a fuck. Cain you’re family. I fucking love you. I love how messed up you are in your head. I love how you put us first, it's always us first. But there was no way in hell I was going let the fucker walk another day on this earth.”

Everyone goes silent and I pick up the tweezer back up from the counter, and take a deep breath in, as I push the tweezers into the bullet hole and pull the bullet out.

“Fuck!” I punch the counter because, God damn it hurt.

“Hayden.” Cain nods his head for him to come over and stitch me up. Asshole. “How much does she know?” Cain looks over at Trixie.

“I don’t know we haven’t had the chance to talk, maybe nothing, maybe a lot. She probably knows a lot, but doesn't know the answers to them. She knows I kill people. She knows I have no remorse for killing those either. She doesn’t know why I killed those people. She has no idea where I was this summer. She has no idea what this family does. She has no idea, but I'm probably going to have to explain it to her. So, give it some time, she'll know everything.” I flinch when Hayden tightens the bandage around my waist.

“And the situation between you two is?” Hayden asks, as he ties the bandage up.

“No one else's business but mine,” I snap.

“Kind of our business now, you know, family business and all,” Hayden replies with a tone I’m not liking. All my family want to piss me off today.

“Well, we had sex last night, then this morning, then was on my way home to have sex in my bed, other than that, I have no idea where this is. I'm in with her, she said she's in, but it was probably because she was scared I killed someone and set a car, with a man in the back, on fire. So how about you give me an hour of being back in the house and I can talk to her properly, explain things to her, then see what the situation is between us.” I know my tone, and my answer could have been better, but I’ve got a headache from the lack of blood in my body, and all I want is some food.

I look over at Trixie for the first time since I walked into the house, I’ve not once been able to ask if she’s okay, or if she needs anything. But I also know Lileah is next to her, hoping she will calm her down if she needs it.

Not how I had the day planned at all. My idea was being naked and buried deep inside Trixie, but not sure if that’s going to be happening, because every time I breathe, my wound hurts.

Trixie must think this family is crazy and working out a way to get away from us. I mean, I wouldn’t blame her. Who the hell would want to be dating anyone who kills people, or a family who runs a business of hitmen and cleaners.

“You need to rest. You've lost a lot of blood, D.” Hayden leans on the counter.

“I'm fine. Once I get some food in me, I'm good.” I look over at Trixie whose eyes are moving from one brother to the other. Cain walks closer to her.

“Cain Crawford, cousin, brother. I put myself down as a brother.” Since when does he have this side of him? Never. It puts a faintest smile on her lips, or she’s probably still shit scared of everything “Thank you for helping him, and I meant what I said. You want to walk away from him after this, I'll make sure he never comes close to you.”

She starts to sign. “She says, you're an asshole.” Trixie quickly shakes her head and signs to me, Declan, don't say that to him. Do you not see the energy of this man?

“Yes, I see the energy of this man, and it's nothing good.”

“Oh, Declan, don't keep saying bad things about him. You know, he's sweet.” I smile when I see Autumn walking in.

“Yes, and that's only because of you. He's totally different around us. So, what does she really say?” Mason asks. I turned back to Trixie, and I ask her to sign again because I forgot what she said.

“She said at the moment she wants to stay with me, but she’s scared.” I walk away to the laundry room to grab a T-shirt from the pile of clean clothes, then join everyone in the kitchen again.

Autumn walks around the kitchen to make food, Cain’s on the phone to Lincoln, I don’t even need to ask who it is, it’s the only person the man talks to. Walking over to Trixie, I pull her off the stool and sit down, then pull her back into me, so she’s leaning on my chest, my hand wrapped around her stomach.

“You okay?” I ask her.

She brings her hands to the front of her so I can see them and signs . Yes, just a lot to take in, that's all.

“Yeah, wait until I tell you everything else.” I feel her body tense up, but I’m not sure why. “Do you want to leave? I won’t stop you.”

No, I want to stay with you.

So, she’s not scared, so why is she tensing up? A phone starts vibrating on the table, and she digs through her bag to get her phone out and I see her brother's name flashing, and she cancels it.

I lean my head on her back for a moment, as I’m getting light-headed now. I need some food in me.

“Here.” Miles throws a protein bar my way, catching it in the air I give him a nod. I know he isn’t going to be pissed off with me about punching him. Mostly because he knows he deserved it.

“You know what, I'm going to sleep for a bit.” I stand up and take Trixie’s hand so she knows she’s coming with me.

“D, you need to eat.” Hayden, always the one who worries too much.

“Bring it up to the room, I’ll eat once I’m awake.” I turn to Cain, and Mason. “Forgot to mention, there is a guy in the trunk, and he’s alive.” Mason is going to have so much fun with him.

“That's the information you mention straight away.” Mason snaps, and I throw the car keys towards him, the second he catches them, he and Hayden are out the house.

“I forgot.” I shrug my shoulder at Cain smiling at me, and I leave the kitchen because I can’t stand up for much longer. As we reach my room, I pull Trixie closer to me. “A few hours sleep, then I think I might need to eat you as a starter.” I kiss the side of her jaw, then to her ear. “I miss being inside you.”

You need to rest.

“I will, you’re doing all the work.” I joke, slamming the door behind me.

As much as I would love to have some fun now, I don’t have the energy, my body is heavy and tired. Plus, when I wake up, I think she will have a lot of questions for me, which should be fun to answer.

* * *

The tip of my knife carves the next letter. Fuck does my name look good on her skin. I feel the tip of her nails softly scratching my scalp and the feeling already has me ready for another round with her.

I know I’m not one hundred percent better but the second my eyes opened, there was only one thing I wanted, to taste her. I quickly took some painkillers and got to work. Before I leave this bedroom, I plan on making her come at least two more times.

I brush my finger over her folds gently, barely touching her, but yet I feel her jolt her hips a little. I blow, I slowly move up and down, still not touching her fully. I look up at her, as she watches me.

“You can beg, you know.” She goes to move her hands away from my hair, and I quickly shake my head. “Without signing to me.”

Trixie closes her eyes, she’s thinking of a way to beg for me to touch her. Brushing my lips against her clit a little, and her grip on my hair tighten, and I hear a small moan from her.

“Show me what you want, Trixie.” With that she jolts her hip hard so it’s right by my face, and she sits up a little as I look up at her through my eyelashes. She’s so fucking sexy and all mine.

The smell of her sweet arousal is so thick and intoxicating. She’s so fucking wet for me. I never wanted to go down on anyone before, but now, I want my face buried between her legs all the time. I want her moaning for me, coming on my tongue, and I can do it all the goddamn time.

Flicking her clit, my tongue moves up from her entrance to her clit. Fuck, she tastes too good, and the way her nails are digging into my scalp I can tell she’s enjoying it. But I can’t get enough of her, I place my hand on her thighs, as she starts to squeeze the side of my head.

Pushing two fingers deep inside her hard, as I suck on her clit makes her arch her back. My whole mouth covers her clit as I suck and swirl my tongue around it, my fingers moving faster, as my mouth gets more aggressive.

I feel Trixie tighten around my fingers, letting me know she’s about to come. She pushes my head into her pussy, and there it is, with a thrust, and a bite on her clit she comes for me. Letting her finish, I suck a little softer and thrust slower, as her body trembles. The smile on my face is big, kissing her clit, I stand up at the bottom of the bed, and look down at my beautiful girl.

“Doesn’t my girlfriend look sexy when she comes?” Her eyes lock with mine, surprised with my words, but she needs to know she’s mine now. “Get on your knees.” I smile when she does it immediately. She shifts to her knees and moves to the end of the bed. “Let me free.” I wink, and she smiles.

Trixie’s hands move to my jeans, and quickly unbuttons them, lowering my zipper. Her eyes meet mine as she slowly, very slowly pulls them down. God this woman is only pulling my boxers down and I’m as hard as a fucking rock, and the moment she pulls it down enough my dick springs free.

Without another word from me, her hands wrap around my dick, and slowly she starts rubbing up and down, with a tight grip.

“Fuck.” I groan out, and I see the smile on her face. Leaning forward she kisses the tip of my head, then licks the precum. “Open, for me.” Placing my hand on her chin, I slide my thumb over her lip ring, opening her mouth wider, and making her look up at me. Smiling, I slowly spit in her mouth, her nails scratch the side of my legs, and then I spit again but this time I get closer to her mouth as I do. “Suck me, hard.”

The second I stand up straight, she wraps her lips around the tip of my dick and sucks. God yes, I shout to myself. Slowly, she takes me further into her mouth, sucking with each inch entering her sexy mouth. Trixie starts bobbing her head faster, as she begins playing with my balls, and she knows I enjoy it when the tip of her nails move over them. I flinch initially as the sensation hits me.

She takes me deeper, and I hit the back of her throat. I hear her gagging, but I don't want her to move away from me, so I place my hand on her head. I want to feel her throat opening and closing around me.

I look down at her, as she looks up at me, water escaping the corner of her eyes. I could let her go, but it feels too good, and my brain isn’t thinking straight either. Letting go of her, she quickly gets some air, and then her mouth is around me once again.

“Fuck.” I groan, as she sucks harder this time, head bobbing quicker, hands teasing my balls which are ready to come so hard down her throat it’s almost killing me.

Burying my fingers in her hair, I pull her away from me. “You keep doing that and I'm going to cum hard. I want to fill something else with my cum.” I push her to lie to the bed, and I smile as she licks her lips, and spreads her legs open for me. I know I’ve already opened one of the stitches on my wound, but I don’t care. I can fix it after.

I kneel between her legs, and trail kisses up her body, once I get to her nipples, I bite them, then pull on the ring, making her arch her body against mine. She has no idea how much I love her fucking boobs, and her nipple rings, and the rings on her pussy, they all drive me crazy. She has no idea just thinking about them has me hard and ready for her.

As I reach her jaw, I kiss it until I get to her lips, and she wraps her legs around my waist, the head of my dick teasing her entrance. “You want it, beg me.” She smiles, as the sharp tip of her nails move down my back, not once but twice she does it, then tilts her head slightly to the right, and mouths the word. Please, fuck me.

Without warning I thrust hard inside her, making her dig her nails into my back. “Fuck, yes.” Being buried inside her feels like coming home. This is it for me. Trixie, is it. She is all I fucking want.

I’ve been with women, but not one of them felt this good, not one of them made my mind go crazy when my dick was buried inside them. I slam my lips into her as I continue to thrust hard inside her. Hearing my skin slap her is a sound I’m going to enjoy, because I know how hard I’m thrusting, and it’s going to hurt her.

Her hands move into my hair, as we continue to kiss, one of my hands places on her hip to keep her locked down as I fuck her harder. Pulling away from her, my dick slips free, but I push it back in, moving slow and steady, wanting to feel the sensation of moving inside her. Feeling every time her pussy stretches for me, then tightens around me.

This is what I’m craving from her, more of this. I start going faster, harder. Trixie hands are on top of mine, her nails digging into me, her back arching off the bed. Leaning forward, my hands on either side of her. “I want the marks on my back to bleed, you ready?” I ask her, and she nods.

The harder I thrust, the harder her nails dig into my back, my hip frantically slapping the skin on her hips, she is going to be in pain, but I don’t care, she will remember me after this. God, I can feel everything I’m hitting inside her pussy, she slaps my back, the tip of her nails digging in one place, and it’s fucking hurting too, but within seconds her whole body starts to spasm as one very hard orgasm hits her. Holding her hips down as I continue to thrust, her body shaking beneath me, I tell myself to hold it before coming as I want her to come down from her high first. It takes a few more thrusts until she is back with me, as her nails move up and down my back softly, and mere seconds later I come hard. I feel her pussy clench around my dick as if she’s trying to milk every drop out of me.

I collapse on top of her, kissing her jaw, to her lips. Kissing her hard, and she finally unlocks her legs from around my waist, letting me roll off her.

“Another round after food.” I turn to her and kiss her cheek, and I get out of bed to get a towel to clean her up, and to stop the bleeding escaping my wound.

Shower? She signs, and I smile. My mouth is dirty and needs a clean.

God, can this woman be any more perfect for me?

“Okay, but I think if I have to clean you, you can stay dirty for a little longer.” I wink, and get back on the bed, and make her sit on top of me. She can leak my cum out of her all she wants over me, because she will be licking it off again soon. “Hit me with your questions about my family.” I know she has a lot of questions, and I want to get it over with now.

She places her hands on my chest, again drawing with her nails, then stops close to my wound, and her eyes widen.

You need to get this sorted.

She tries to get off me, but I hold her in place. “It will be fine, trust me. The only thing I ever want from you is for you to have faith in me. It’s the only thing us Crawford’s ever want from our girls. Have faith in us.”

Growing up, it was the only thing dad said to us. Crawford men only want faith from a girl, faith we can do it, and protect them. No matter what, myself and my brothers live by it.

“Ask the questions, Trixie.” She bites on her bottom lip, as she thinks of the first question.

What will happen to the man in the car? Not the question I thought she was going to ask, but okay we can go with that one first.

“Mason will have some fun, and get some answers from him.” I’m going miss him having fun with the man, but I’m sure it won’t be the last time he goes crazy on someone.

Do you…do you own the clinic?

“We do, and all of us will work there. Hayden is training to be a lawyer, Miles will do all the computer work, and Mason and I will be working on the accounts. It’s a very good clinic, grandad worked hard on it.” I smile, and Trixie tilts her head a little waiting for me to tell her about the other side of the family business. “We are also a family you get in touch with if you want information from someone, or need someone to disappear. We’re cleaners.” Her whole body tenses on top of me, and she shifts a little. “We don’t just take a job, there has to be a reason. Dad and Cain are the ones who pick the jobs.” I have no idea if I’ve scared her, or not. I would think I have, I mean there was no easy way to tell her, so I wouldn’t blame her for thinking my family is twisted.

The summer?

Now how the hell do I explain Cain and The Pit. This one might take a little longer to explain, but I told her I’ll answer her questions so this one will be fun.