Ruin

37. Declan

THIRTY-SEVEN

DECLAN

I slam the sledgehammer into the car once again, anything to take out the frustration I have inside me. I can’t fucking believe there is nothing I can do to make her wake up, I can’t go and hurt Robert, because there’s no way I’m missing Trixie waking up. So, there is only one thing to do, break my car apart.

As the hammer hits the metal, I feel the vibration move through my body, and it’s the only satisfaction I’m going to get for now.

“Do you know how long it took me to find the hood?” I look over at Miles and Mason entering the garage, about fucking time they get here.

“Where is he?” I ask. I don’t care about anything else.

Mason hands me his phone, I look at the live feed of him sitting naked in the corner of the room, his legs spread open in front of him. He doesn’t look like he cares that he’s locked in a room. He’s an asshole who thinks he is untouchable, it’s going to be a shock when I tell him how he’ll spend the rest of his life. He looks up at the camera and waves which makes me chuckle to myself. “He’s fucking crazy. He honestly thinks Trixie is his. He kept shouting ‘Declan can’t have my wife.’” I hand the phone back to Mason, and he stands next to Cain and Hayden who haven’t left me for a second, but they’ve not stopped me from trashing my car either.

“Mom said come inside, and have something to eat,” Miles tells me. I slam the hammer into the side of the car once again. “Do you really want her coming out here?” Miles jokes, and I shake my head, throwing the hammer on the floor.

Grabbing my t-shirt, I follow my brothers into the house. Mom looks over at me, and her eyes move over the scars covering my chest. In that split second I remember she’s never seen them before. I’ve made sure to cover myself up when I’m around her, so she doesn’t need to know what happened to me. Before she can say anything, I walk into the bedroom Trixie is in, Lincoln stands at the end of the bed.

“What are you doing here?” I ask him, as I kneel at the side of the bed and take her hand in mine.

“Watching her.” I turn my head to Lincoln and shake my head. “I should have fought harder.”

“With a bullet wound? No one was going to stop him from getting her. Be happy you’re alive, I know others wish they were.” I kiss the top of Trixie's hand, and stand up when I hear mom calling Lincoln to come eat, which means she’s also shouting for me too. I stand in front of him. “Fucked up shit happens, guilt will overtake you, don’t let it.”

“Declan, I’m sorry about Big Man. The moment Cain heard about the fight, he dropped everything to get to The Pit in time to stop it.” Lincoln places his hand on my shoulder. “You need anything, I’ll always be there for you.”

“I know, Lincoln.” We both exit the bedroom, and I look over at mom in the kitchen getting a few things plated up, I sit next to Lileah. “You okay?” I look at her cut lip, then she leans her head on my shoulder. “I’m sorry,” I whisper to her.

“Not your fault, Declan,” Lileah replies.

She leans forward and grabs a slice of pizza, and I look over at the bedroom. I know it’s only been a few hours, but I thought she would have shown some signs of waking up, but nothing.

“I want the mom dead by the weekend,” I say without looking at my family. The woman stood back and did nothing, lied to the hospital, and the police. She made Trixie go silent, she’s not walking away free.

“I’ll get it done.” I hear Cain, and I know he won’t send any of us to do the job, we all need to have alibi’s that we were home when that murder takes place. That’s when I look at Lincoln, who gives me a small nod and all I can do is return a small smile.

“Declan,” Mom hands me a plate with a slice of pizza on it, already knowing what I’m going to say.

“You have to eat something, you’re no good to anyone if you’re weak.” I take the plate from her and try to listen to the conversation happening around me.

Autumn’s telling us about Poppy skating, and how busy the flower shop is. Dad’s asking Cain about the clinic, but the only thing I can think about is Trixie. My phone beeps in my pocket. It’s a message from Riley.

Riley

You killed my brother.

Declan

I didn’t kill anyone. You did.

Hayden takes the phone from me, then shows Cain who smiles at my reply. My phone rings, and Hayden puts it on the table, I answer it and put it on speaker.

“Do you really want to start a wa-”

“Mr. Riley, before you continue with this, remember you started the war. I’m only finishing it. I didn’t kill anyone, I don’t even know where your brother lives. I gave you an out, you didn’t take it, and you hurt my girl. So, how about you stop wasting your time with me, and spend it with your family, you never know what will happen tomorrow.” I wait for him to reply because the fucker is an arrogant asshole and is thinking of something to say back to me.

“You cut up my brother and sent me pieces of him. You had nothing to do with that?” Riley's voice becomes more high pitched, but I can’t stop smiling.

“Again, I’ve been busy doing other things. What body part was it?” I ask because I honestly want to know if they followed my one request.

“Both his ears-”

“They could be anyone's ears.” Now I laugh a little, wanting to piss him off.

“They sent me a video of them being cut off, then a few more things, before killing him.” I take a sip of my drink, and there is silence for a moment. “I’m going to make you pay for all this.” Riley stops when I laugh. “You think I’m joking?”

“Oh no, I believe you. But you touch, harm or even look at anyone I care about, I will take your son, and make you watch me kill him. I won’t kill him quick; I’ll make you watch me peel his fucking skin off, one small piece at a time. Then I’ll burn him in places, and all you can do is stand there like a pussy while your son is cry-”

“Stop.” I finally hear a break in his tone.

“If I were my brothers you would be dead, but me, I want you to suffer. So, live your life and just wait to see what happens, spend time with your family until I finally get bored and put you out of your miserable-”

“Do it now,” Riley cuts me off.

“No, where is the fun in that? Stay away from my family, and you get to spend time with yours, you come for my family, I’ll make you watch as I kill them all.” I wait for a reply, as there is a silence for a moment, I look over at Trixie praying for her to wake up now.

The phone line goes dead, and I laugh, fucking pussy.

“And you all think I’m the fucking crazy one,” Mason shouts and everyone turns to him.

“It’s because you are.” Dad is the first to reply then continues to eat.

“You’re a different type of crazy.” Mom tries to make him feel better and I eat my pizza, not wanting to take part in this conversation. I get up and walk over to the bedroom, and lean on the door frame.

Come on Trixie, wake up, the first thing I’m telling her is that I love her. I'm not wasting time by not telling her. If she doesn’t feel the same way I don’t care, for me she’s it. She makes me happy, she makes me smile, and I will burn the world to make her happy.

“I’ve found Big Man’s family.” Cain leans on the other side of the door frame. “He has a plot with them, I’ve called them for you.” I turn to face him, my back leaning on the frame. “Whenever you’re ready, I went to talk to him a few days ago, asking what he wanted to do when he came out. Did he want to work for me in the club, or did he need help to settle somewhere.” Cain stops and looks at Trixie, then continues. “He said Pretty Boy needed someone to look after him, because he thought sooner or later you'd do something stupid.” Cain stops when I laugh, asshole always thought I’d fuck up in one way or the other. “But there was something else. He said if anything happened to him before he got out, he wanted me to give you this.” He pulls out an envelope from his jacket pocket, and hands it to me.

Opening it up, I smile at the name on the envelope. Pretty boy. Reading the paper, I shake my head.

“He’s left his money to me, well not to me. To my future kids, he wants them to know their godfather looked after them.” I put the letter in my pocket, and walk toward the bed, and lie beside Trixie wrapping my arm over her waist.

I’m too mentally tried to think about anything at the moment, all I want is for my girl to wake up, and I’ll be back to normal.

* * *

I lean back on the couch, my head looking up at the ceiling, my eyes are heavy. Not sleeping for almost a day is starting to really hit me now. I close my eyes for a moment, to make them feel a little better. Cain spoke to me before he left last night about the plan for Robert and his mom. He told me, the less I know the better, as I did make the threat in front of her dad.

Dad wasn’t happy I did that and made sure I knew never to do it again. But he and Cain are both working on the best way to end her life without too many questions, and I stopped them then. I let them know I told her she should watch herself when she crosses the road, so that is how she should die, not on the railway line like I wanted.

“Did you sleep?” I feel mom’s hand on my head.

“Yes-”

“No,” Mason cuts me off. “He went out last night, then got back home and sat on the edge of the bed.” I open my eyes and look at him shaking my head.

“Asshole,” I snap at him.

“Was it The Pit keeping you awake, or are you worried about Trixie?” Mom asks as she puts a plate on the table in front of me. I see she’s made pancakes. I’ve missed her breakfast, but I choose not to answer the question, because it was The Pit more than Trixie keeping me awake.

“I see the car got into an accident.” Dad sits next to me, and pats my leg.

“Yes, with Declan’s sledgehammer,” Hayden jokes.

It's been a while since the whole family has sat down together. My brothers are at college, Mom and Dad went away, and it’s nice to have everyone together.

Lileah’s face looks a lot better than last night. I spoke to my brothers about finding who hit her, and ending them, but Dad heard the conversation and said no one is to do anything. They had masks on and there was no way of finding out who it was.

“So, where did you go last night?” Miles asks.

“Nowhere-”

“Declan, if I find out you were with another woman, I will not be happy about it, and I’ll tell her,” Mom snaps at me, which makes me laugh.

“I was not with another woman, I’m happy with the one I have.” I look over at my mom who is watching Trixie sleeping. “I just hope you’ll like her.”

“I’m going to love her, because my son loves her. Now eat your breakfast, you didn’t eat anything last night,” Mom tells me and slides the plate closer to me. The doorbell goes off, and mom walks to the door.

“How has school been?” Dad asks.

“Good, should still finish top of the class.” I eat my breakfast, and look over at mom walking back in chatting with Doc.

“Don’t look so worried, I only wanted to check up on her. The blood tests all came back negative so nothing to worry about, but if it’s okay with you I’d like to take some more to double check.” Doc looks over to the bedroom as Trixie is still sleeping, then turns back to me.

“Yeah, that’s fine. You said her body needed to recover, how long will it take?” I ask him, finishing my breakfast quickly so I can be in the room with him. Mom hands me a mug with some coffee in it, knowing I’m not about to go to sleep, and will need something to keep me awake.

I walk with Doc to the bedroom. “Declan it will take her some time, she lost a lot of blood, and I’m quite sure she didn’t eat anything while she was there either.” Doc sits on the bed, and starts looking her over, and smiles. “It all looks a lot better than last night.” He opens his bag and takes a needle out to get some blood from her. “Declan, she’s been fighting a long time, she will fight this.” Doc tells me, as he takes her blood. Once he finishes Trixie pulls her arm from his grip, and takes in a deep breath.

Doc gets off the bed, and I get next to her and cup her face. Seeing her wake, brings relief to my chest, as I try to stay calm for her, the tingling feeling moving through my hands is making them tremble a little with how happy I am with her waking up. I place my forehead against hers, and whisper. “It’s me. Trixie, you’re safe. It’s me.” I pull away from her, her eyes widen hearing my voice, and it takes a moment for her to lock eyes with me, and relax her body. I let out a breath waiting for her nod or something to let me know she understands it’s me with her. A slight nod of the head, and I smile letting her know I’m here and I’m not leaving. “Doc is here; he’s going to check you over. You understand what I’m saying?” I ask her, and she holds my hand with a tight grip, and I see the fear in her eyes. “Not leaving, never leaving.” She gives me a nod. I move to the side for Doc to look her over.

“Are you in any pain?” Doc asks, and she points to the side where she was stabbed. “You were stabbed, and I’ve stitched you up. It will take a few days to heal. Any other pain?” Doc asks, and she looks over at me, and I see the tears escaping the corner of her eyes.

She lets go of my hand and signs. I couldn’t fight him.

“Hey, it’s fine, Doc did some tests, and we’re all good. All came back negative. But right now I don’t care about all that, answer Doc’s questions please.” I kneel next to the bed and wipe the tears away. “All I care about is you getting better.” She gives me a nod and signs again.

My head hurts, and when I breathe.

I tell Doc what she’s said, and he presses on her ribs to see what's happening.

“Nothing is broken, but I will up the pain medication for you. I’ve taken some more blood to double check everything, but-”

“Doc, we can talk about that later.” I cut him off, not wanting him to upset Trixie, she’s only just woken up.

“Declan, if we know now, it will be easier to-”

“I said no,” I shout at him, and Trixie grabs my hands, and then signs.

I knew what Robert wanted from me, to get me pregnant. I’m on the pill, just never told him.

I tell Doc, as he finishes checking her over, and I kiss the top of her head. I wait for him to leave.

“You scared me, I thought I lost you.” I kiss her, and it’s soft, but she kisses me back. “I’m not waiting any longer to say this, Trixie, I love you, and you’re never leaving my side.” She smiles at my words, a small weak smile, but it’s a smile.

I love you, too.

“Can’t wait for you to say the words to me.” I kiss her again, and help her to sit up and wipe away her tears. “You’re safe now. I promise no one will ever touch you again.” She places her head on my chest, and I wrap my arms around her, letting her cry it out.

No matter what, I will be forever here for her. I know going through all this, her talking will take some time again, but I’m here to help her through everything. She will never be alone again.

I see my mom at the door, and she wipes away her own tears, and I tell her we will be out once she's ready and showered, and she gives me a nod.