Ruin

38. Trixie

THIRTY-EIGHT

TRIXIE

Declan helps me out of the shower and wraps the towel around me. “How are you feeling?” he asks me again. It’s the only question he’s been asking me. I think this is the fifteenth time he has asked me since I woke up.

Tried, body hurts, and… I stop signing and take a deep breath which hurts so much, and I lean my head on Declan’s chest. I’m not going to hide what I’m feeling from Declan because one, he said I shouldn’t and two, because he said he loves me.

Declan Crawford loves me, and he didn’t say it to make me feel better, I could see that he meant it one hundred percent. But I love him, too. My heart hurt being away from him. When Robert was hurting me, I kept thinking about Declan, hoping it would make the torture less.

“Trixie, and what?”

I’m scared.

He cups my face and leans his forehead on mine. “I promise you he will never come close to you again. He can’t get close to you, where he is being kept right now.” I wrap my arms around his waist, and close my eyes just wanting to take in his scent. There is nothing else I want right now more than Declan to hold me.

He pulls away from me and holds up two bottles of lotion. “Lileah gave me these, which one do you want?” He opens them and starts smelling them and rolls his eyes. “Not going to like you smelling like my sister.” I laugh and shake my head.

I don’t mind smelling of you ,

He places the lotions on the counter and turns to me. “I don’t put on cream.” We walk back out to the bedroom I’ve been sleeping in, and Declan helps me put on my clothes.

I look down at the sweatpants and hoodie. This is not my look at all. I don’t think I’ve ever worn sweatpants before. But Declan is right, at the moment this is going to be more comfortable for me, and gives time for the stitches to heal.

“You look-” I stop him saying anything as I sign.

Horrible.

“You will always look beautiful to me, no matter what you wear.” He leans down and gives me a kiss. “You are the woman I love, the most beautiful woman in the world.”

There is nothing more in the world I need. I have a man who loves me, who I love, and that’s all I want.

Declan told me his parents came back from their trip, and this was not the way I wanted to meet them for the first time. I look like a mess, and I don’t know them. I thought it would have been for a family party or meal anything but this way.

“Let’s get some food in you.” Declan takes my hand in his and we leave the bedroom. We enter the living room, and everyone turns to face us. Walking over to the couch, Mason and Hayden move some pillows for me, and Declan helps me sit down, while Hayden puts a blanket over me.

Thank you.

“Anytime.” I smile at Hayden and Mason. “Don’t get too excited thinking I know sign language, I don’t. Thank you is the only word I know.” Hayden jokes, and sits on the other couch, while Mason sits on the armchair.

“Mom, Dad this is Trixie. Trixie, these are my parents, David and Jane.” Declan introduces me, and I go to get up to say hello, but his mom stops me.

“No, stay where you are.” His mom sits next to me, and stares at me. She doesn’t say anything, just smiles at me. “He got a pretty one. I was always worried he would be single forever.” I laugh, and Declan waves his hands over to Mason.

“He’ll be the single one,” he tells us all, making everyone agree with him. “Maybe even him.” He points to Miles, who tells Declan to fuck off then throws his phone to Declan, who smiles at whatever it is on there.

“Shall I get you some lunch, what would you like?” Declan’s mom asks me, and I look up at Declan.

I’m not hungry.

You have to eat something. Declan signs at me. Something small.

Soup?

“You two are going to be so fucking annoying.” Mason snaps, and Declan laughs, then turns back to me.

We totally could have fun winding these three up. I shake my head at him, I’m not doing that, but I know he will do it just for fun.

“Mom, she would like some soup.” Then he turns back to me as he sits next to me. “Don’t be scared to talk to us. Everyone here will always listen to you.” He kisses my cheek and gives Miles his phone back. It’s not that they won’t listen to me, I’m still trying to find the words to say myself, I’ve stayed quiet for so long now I don’t even know how to say a sentence. I hope everyone in this room will understand and won’t push me to speak until I’m ready.

“I will get some for you,” Jane gets up and walks to the kitchen.

I look over at Lileah smiling at me, and tap Declan to get his attention. Ask Lileah if she would still like me to design her prom dress.

As long as you still wear yours. He signs to me.

I would love to go with you. I lean my head on his shoulder, and then he asks Lileah for me.

“Of course I do, but only when you get back to full health,” Lileah tells me, and sits next to me. Declan intertwines his fingers with mine and continues talking with his brothers. “It’s a silly question, but how are you?”

I take Declan’s phone from his lap, and ask him to open it for me which he does without question, or looking at me strangely. Handing it back to me I open the notes app.

In pain, but happy Declan found me in time.

“Oh, he wouldn’t have stopped until he found you.” Lileah thanks her mom for her coffee, and I smile at her as she hands me a plate with a piece of toast and soup.

“I knew you two would end up together.” I have to smile at Lileah’s words and type on the phone.

I have to laugh, because I didn’t. Thought he was an asshole.

“No, your words were a handsome asshole.” I turn to Declan who gives me a wink, as I remember our first meeting, when I did in fact call him a handsome asshole.

Yes, a handsome asshole. I lick my lips, there was something I wanted to ask him, but I know he will say no because he doesn’t like him.

“Ask what you want Trixie, I’m not a mind reader.” I hand him his phone back, and he puts it down on the coffee table, and laughs at something Mason just said but I didn’t hear it.

Can I call Ash-

“No.” The reply comes fast, without me even having the chance to explain anything.

You can be with me the whole time. I won’t smoke anything. Plus, there is always a reason someone is the way they are. I smoked and cut myself for a reason, he has a reason, too. Please, he was the only friend I had in the whole school.

“I have no idea what she said to you, but it looked like she’s annoyed with you,” Miles jokes with Declan, and their dad laughs.

He hasn’t said anything to me yet, not sure if he is worried how I’ll react, because I’m sure Declan has told everyone what Robert did to me.

I don’t like him, and the fact I told you to stop smoking, but you still fucking did it. He gave you that shit when I told him to stop. Declan signs back to me, and I look at him as he watches me to see my reaction.

He was my only friend. I sign a little slower this time.

Eat your food, and I’ll think about it.

Asshole.

“Now that has to be something mean, it looks like she is telling you to fuck off.” Miles looks at me and I shake my head. “Asshole?” I nod, and he smiles. “I’m going to start using that sign.” He gives me a wink, which makes me smile.

“Sweetheart.” I turn to Declan’s mom. “Eat up before it gets cold.” I nod and take a spoonful of soup, and then turn to Declan.

“I said I’ll think about it,” Declan tells me again, and I continue to eat my food. I knew it was going to be a hard one for him to agree on, but I’m hoping he says yes to me.

A sharp shooting pain hits my side making me drop my spoon, and the soup slips a little. My hand lands on Declan’s thigh as I squeeze hard, and he quickly takes the plate off my lap, as I scream in pain.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Declan cups my face as he kneels in front of me.

It…it. Fuck this pain is hurting me too much. I look down at my side, and Declan looks at where I’m looking and lifts my sweater up. “Pain,” I whisper to him.

“It’s okay, everything is okay. Dad?” Declan looks over at his dad walking over to me with the first aid kit. I hear Hayden on the phone telling someone what’s happening. Whatever it is, I don’t like it. “Dad is going to have a look, I’m right here.”

Declan moves out the way for his dad to look at the stab wound, and I lean my head on Declan’s shoulder. My eyes feel heavy. I’m tired, I want to sleep. I feel Declan kiss the top of my head, telling me he loves me. I smile as I hear the words, coming from my sexy boyfriend.

Declan starts moving his thumb over my hand, I know he's trying to relax me, and even though I’m in pain, having him do that is really helpful. I take a deep breath in and close my eyes as his dad looks at my stitches.

* * *

Four days later and I’m finally feeling a little better. When I woke up after the attacks, I was scared because of the amount of pain I was in. The doctor said it was my body registering what it had been through. Even though no one spoke about it, my body woke up a little later than my mind. He gave me some strong pain medication, and prescribed bed rest for forty-eight hours. I already knew Declan will make sure I don’t leave the bed. I swear he didn’t sleep while I was recovering, but he won’t admit it. Lileah said he had about an hour or so each night, but Declan never agreed with her.

Now, my body is still in a little pain, but I was so fed up with being indoors, and almost begged Declan to let me out for a bit. It wasn’t easy, he’d get Doc to check me over three times before he agreed to let me out.

Now, I’m back at school, and Declan hasn’t left my side. He’s even joined me in classes that he doesn’t take, and the teachers have not once questioned him about it.

He takes my book bag from me, wraps his arm over my shoulder as we walk into the cafeteria. I look over at Ash and smile.

Declan hasn’t let me talk to him, and I’ve asked a few times. All I get is that he’ll think about it. I understand why he isn’t saying yes, but I’ve said he can be with me while we talk. I don’t want to be on my own with him at all.

We stop by the hockey team, and Declan looks at Stephanie, and smiles. I’m really not in the mood for her today, so I’m not sure why Declan is bringing me around here.

“How are you, Stephanie?” Declan asks, and she tells him to fuck off. “You’re lucky-”

“Lucky? You’re fucking joking me. No college in the America will take me, and my dad has lost all his business partners,” she shouts at him, making sure everyone in here can hear her. “You are-”

“I would watch what you say. You don’t have any proof I did anything, but one thing you need to remember is that your mother and brother haven’t been touched. If you keep all of this up, things can change.” Declan pulls me in closer and I wrap my arms around his waist. This man is making sure anyone who hurt me one way, or another is paying for it. I can’t help but smile because I’ve hit the fucking jackpot with the best boyfriend ever.

“Asshole.” Stephanie sits back down shaking her head, and he walks away from the table saying he’ll be back in a bit, and she’d better not be there.

Declan walks over to Ash’s table, and tells everyone to leave but him. They do, before he even finishes the sentence. He pulls out a chair for me, and sits down next to me, and we all sit there in silence for a moment.

“So, I’m only going to say this once. You don’t get another chance. My girl said she only had one friend in this place, you. I don’t like you. I don’t know what shit is happening in your house, and right now I don’t care. But you smoke the shit around her, I’ll make sure you can’t hold another joint for a very, very long time. You sell her that shit, and I’ll make sure you don’t walk again ever. Do I make myself clear?” Declan hasn’t taken his eyes off Ash, but he nods agreeing with him. He turns to face me, Declan has never asked me what is happening with Ash at home, but I think he knows it’s nothing good. “I want you to be happy, and if that’s talking to your friend again, I’ll do it. Don’t smoke that shit. Ever.” Declan tells me and I sign.

Promise. Thank you.

He leans in and gives me a kiss, telling me we leave in ten minutes to go home as he doesn't want to stay at school anymore. He turns back to Ash and stands up. “If you ever need the problem you have at home, fixed, you know where I am.” Before Ash can say anything, Declan walks away, and I get my pad out so I can talk to him.

How are you?

“I’m okay, how are you? Not been at school for a while. Rumor was you died.” I laugh, shaking my head at him.

No, but I’ll tell you everything when we're not at school. Don’t want people hearing things, and making their own stories from it. I’m just happy to get my life back to normal.

“What did Declan mean about sorting things out for me?” Ash looks behind me and I look over my shoulder at Declan sitting with his friend, but he has his eyes on us. I know he trusts me, but he also knows my head still isn’t in the right space for me to say no if Ash did offer anything.

I still feel Robert on my skin, I still remember the things he did to me, and I block everything out so I don’t have to think about it. Declan told me it will take time to forget everything, but he’s here for me, and he is never leaving me.

He got rid of my problem, and if you wanted to, he would get rid of yours, too. Once he’s read it, I rip the page out and tear it up into little pieces, and put it into my pocket, so I can burn it once we get back to his house. Don’t need anyone seeing what I wrote.

“Good to know. Are you happy?” Ash asks and I look over at Declan and smile.

I nod and whisper the word. “Yes.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Ash bursts out laughing. “One step at a time, I see.” I nod so he knows I’m finding it hard to talk, but crazy as it is he is my best friend here, the only one who really understands what I’m going through.

You want to come over tomorrow and I can explain everything. I’m staying with Declan.

“Will he let me?” Ash asks.

Yes. I’ll send you a message. I look at Declan standing next to me, and he pulls out the chair for me.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Ash replies.

Declan wraps his arm around my shoulder again, giving me a kiss, as we leave school.

And for the first time in my life, I feel as if I have it in order, there is nothing I’m scared of, nothing I fear, and that’s never happened before.