Epilogue
DECLAN
I lean on the wall listening to Robert talk and talk. The fucker can talk some shit. It’s been one week he’s been here. I’ve left him alone. I thought the white room, with no sound, no one to talk to him would make him go a little fucked in the head. But it’s hard to make someone crazy, when they already are.
“She smells like strawberries, and she hums in the shower, she used to hum in the shower, then she started crying. I like listening to her cry, it was her way to say she loved me.” Robert finally looks at me, and smiles. “She loves me, I love her, we’re meant to be together.”
It should piss me off the way he talks about her, but it doesn’t. It only makes me want to make his life more miserable than I already have planned. He truly believes Trixie and him are in a relationship, so no matter what I say he won’t believe me. It will only do one thing. Make him happy knowing he's annoying me, so the best way to be with someone like him is to show them you’re not bothered with his words.
He continues to talk about Trixie, and how she will miss him if he doesn’t come home soon.
Pushing myself off the wall, I walk over to him, and put my hands into my pockets. “Are you not wondering where you are?” I ask him.
Not once has he asked where he is, nor has he asked to leave. He’s not even put up a fight to get out. Which makes me wonder how fucked up his head is.
He laughs, the man is going fucking crazy. “She doesn't love you. I will always be her first, first for everything. No matter what you do, she will always remember me. You’re just a fucking-” Before he can finish his sentence I headbutt him and he takes a step back holding his nose. Now he’s pissing me off, and I’ve wanted to punch him for a very long fucking time. “You asshole,” he screams as he runs towards me, and throws a punch but I move out of the way, grab the back of his head, and slam it down on my knee, and push him away a little.
“You know I’ve thought about what I want to do with you. I know I don’t want to kill you. But I do have so much fun planned for us.” I punch him in the face a few times until I feel his blood on my knuckles. “I’m going to make fifteen years feel like fifty years.” I push him and he falls to the floor. When he tries to get back up I kick him hard in the face, and I smile when I hear the bone in his nose break.
I was only going to make his life horrible for thirteen years, the same amount he did to Trixie, but then he took her to the woods, so I added more years.
I walk over to the table of tools and pick up the wood chisel, and turn around and nod to the two men wearing masks to grab him. Robert tries to fight them, but they are almost double the size of him, he won't get far.
They hold him so he's standing straight, I walk over to him, playing with the tool in my hand, and for the first time since being in the room I see fear in his eyes. And it’s only the start of what I have planned for him.
One of the men places his dick on the block which sits between us, and he tries to fight more, for a moment I watch him, listening to him shouting for us to let him go.
“No!” he shouts, trying to move away from the block. “You can’t do this!” He screams, but his screams are nothing new to me. I move to the side of the wood block, and bring my arm up, coming down fast on his dick.
The scream is loud and echoes in the white room, as blood drips out of him. I do it again, blood spattering on my clothes, three blows and his dick flies across the room. My men throw him to the floor, and I kneel before him. He screams out in agony, curling up into a ball, the tears escaping his eyes as he screams insults at me.
“Remember the name of the man who made you become a man with nothing. Declan Crawford.” Standing up, I look down at him. “I look forward to seeing you again.” Walking toward the door I turn to one of the men. “He doesn’t die, once he is cleaned up, take him down to The Pit.”
I walk out of the room, knowing this asshole is going to go through hell by my hands and I’m going to enjoy every fucking second of it.
I knew today was coming, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I have Trixie on one side, and my dad on the other. I never thought I would bury my best friend, not fucking yet anyway.
The casket begins its final descent, six feet underground. I did everything I could to make this how he wanted, I looked to see what caskets he got for his family, so he had the same. I even remember the fucker said he wanted to be buried in nothing but the best, a Gucci suit. Got him the best I could find, and no flowers. That was one thing he joked about and said I’m dead what the fuck do I care about the flowers. I joked about the suit, and he told me if he is walking around heaven it’s going to be in a Gucci suit, it was the first time in The Pit I had laughed so hard.
That’s what I’m going to miss, him saying stupid things to make me laugh. Everyone throws a flower on the casket as it lowers, then they walk away, but I stay where I am.
“I hope you’re happy with what I did.” I take a step closer, and smile. “You’re probably looking down at me saying I got the wrong suit, or the flowers on top of your casket are a waste of money.” I lick my lips and look around at my family standing by the cars. “But some fucker left me a lot of money, my kids never have to worry a day in their life, and there is nothing I can do to say thank you. I'm still angry you didn’t wait for me. You were meant to be standing next to me,” I shake my head, and look up at the sky. “It was meant to be me and you taking over The Pit once Cain got too old,” I joke, and I know he's laughing at me. “Now I’m on my own.” Throwing the rose onto his casket, I take a step back. “You will always be my best friend, and my kids will know who you are. I hope you rest in peace now, and find your family. Look over me Big Man, and I know I’ll never go wrong.”
Now it’s time to live life for the both of us, and make sure people know Declan Crawford isn’t someone to fuck with because he will come for you, no matter what.
Trixie
It’s been close to a month and I finally feel like myself, the wound hasn’t healed one hundred percent, but it's a lot better. Sometimes my wound, where I was stabbed, hurts and I remember what Robert did to me. Whenever Declan sees that, he tries to pull me back to the moment.
But one thing keeps playing on my mind is that he hasn’t touched me. Hasn’t even tried too. He tells me he loves me and gives me kisses, or randomly walks past me and gives me a kiss. But he’s never gone any further than that.
Crazy, but I’ve missed looking at his body. He’s normally out of bed and showered before I get up, so I miss him in the morning. I hate it. I miss him.
Sitting at the end of the bed, I wait for him to come out of the shower. I’ve practised this conversation in my head about twenty times now, but I’m still nervous to ask why he hasn’t touched me in that way.
The bathroom door opens, and Declan moves the towel over his chest drying himself.
“Morning, don’t you look sexy today,” he winks as he smiles at me. I go to sign, but I stop when he throws the towel on the bed. I move to stand in front of him, and look down at his chest. “You like it?” he asks me, and I look up at him, then back at his chest.
He got the tattoo. The tattoo I designed for him. I move my fingers over the dragon's face, and smile at the detail it has. Even the colors are what I had drawn. There is nothing in this design that is different to what I drew.
“Trixie, did they fuck it up?” He takes a step back and looks down at his chest. “I made sure they followed the design-”
“I love it.” The words come out a little shaky, but I said them. Looks even better than I thought it would. I’m not just saying it either, it looks amazing, and on his body, it fits so well.
“Fuck, you scared me for a second, there is a little detail I need to go back and finish, then all done. Now you need to get my tattoo,” he jokes with me. I know he hates the wire around my neck, he made it very clear the first time he saw it.
“Well,” I walk away from him and grab my pad. “I designed this.” I show him what I’ve been drawing for my neck. I'm trying to get the details of his hands perfect, but it’s a start.
“I enjoy listening to you talk, do it more.” Declan looks at the design, and I smile. I’ve been getting a lot better with talking, to him anyway, and Lileah. I’m slowly talking more to his parents. Declan isn’t pushing me, and neither is his family.
“Some of the details I’m not liking, but most of it is there, and I’m excited to get it on your skin.” He leans down and gives me a hard kiss. This is what I’ve missed, but before he takes it further, he stops and walks to the dresser to grab a t-shirt, turns to face me as he puts it on.
Why are you not taking things further with me? Is it because of what Robert did-
“I’m going to stop you right there. No, it’s not because of what that fucker did. I don’t want you to ever say his name again. Ever.”
He walks over to me, wraps his arms around my waist, and I place mine on his chest. “I can’t wait to get you in my bed again, the only reason I haven’t is because your wound is not healed yet. If that gets messed up again, then I have to wait another ten or so more days to touch you, and I’m not doing that. Trixie, don’t ever think I don’t want you, because I do. Every time you lay in bed with me, you walk out the shower, fuck even when you’re sitting next to me, I’m ready to fuck you. But your health is so much more important to me, than sex.” Declan gives me a kiss, and I laugh.
“You love sex a lot,” I joke with him.
“I love you more,” he tells me. I don’t say anything, but Declan stares at me for a moment, then glances at my wrists. I haven’t hurt myself since I’ve been here with him.
“While we’re having this conversation about what’s on our minds, I know you like the feeling of cutting, but you haven’t done it, and I’ve not done it to you. How are you?” He asks, putting the rest of his clothes on. He looks at me as he sits on the edge of the bed, and pulls me closer to him to sit on his lap. “Trixie, I need to make sure you’re okay.”
“I am.” I break eye contact with him, and he grabs my face softly and turns it to face him. “I want to cut myself, but not because I’m in pain.” I feel my throat starting to tighten form talking, so I sign to him. But because I enjoy the feeling of it, it’s crazy. When I did it I did it for different reasons, but when you do it, it makes me happy, gives me pleasure, and I crave that feeling, but only from you not from me.
Declan’s hands move over my lower back. “Do you want to cut yourself?” he asks, and I shake my head quickly. It’s not a lie, not once have I thought about cutting myself, but I have thought about him doing it to me, a lot. “Lift your top up for me to look at your wound.” I do, and he places his hand over it, it’s not had any bandages over it for a while, and the Doc said I’m all good, but I think Declan is being extra careful with me.
A part of my understands why he is doing it, but then the other part is saying please touch me. Almost begging for it.
“Promise me if it hurts you will tell me.”
“Promise,” I whisper.
“Then I think I will have you for dessert tonight.” He places his hand on the back of my neck and pulls me in for a deep hard kiss, and I wrap my arms around him not wanting him to stop.
We both pull away from each other when his dad shouts and knocks at the same time.
“Declan, someone is here to see Trixie.” I look over at Declan and he shrugs his shoulders letting me know he doesn't know who it is. We both make our way downstairs, and I see his brothers have come over today, and they’re all looking in the same direction.
As I reach the bottom of the stairs, I move closer to Declan, and take his hand in mine.
“I thought I told you not to come here until Trixie wants to talk to you. Trixie, do you want him here?” Declan asks, and I shake my head. “Words Trixie.”
“No,” I reply.
I didn’t think he would come. If he did he would have come the moment he knew what his wife and her son did to me. He never did and that told me where I stand in his life. I mean nothing, and I know it should have hurt more, but honestly after everything I’ve been through, I know who cares for me and who doesn’t. And the man standing in front of me is a stranger to me, nobody, and I’ve come to terms with it.
“You killed her-”
“I didn’t kill anyone,” Declan cuts him off. “How did she die?” Declan asks. I don’t care, but I want to know if it was painful because I hope it was.
“You had nothing to do with it, but she was killed the way you said. She was crossing the road, and a car hit her, dragged her for a mile before they stopped.” I smile knowing she hurt so much, and my dad sees how happy it makes me.
“Nothing to do with me. So many people die crossing the road, bad accidents, shit happens.” Declan gets off the last step and pulls me with him as we walk closer to my dad. “Trixie, do you have anything to say to your dad?”
“My dad is dead to me,” I say, the most words I’ve said to him. After everything they did to me, you stayed with her. All the pain, the hospital, the beatings, everything you stayed with her. My father would never have done that, but you chose her over me. I don’t have a dad, he’s dead, and I never want to see him again. I wipe the tears away. I never thought I would have to tell my dad to go away and never talk to me. I used to be daddy’s little girl, and then some barbie doll comes and ruins everything. The pain in the back of my throat is burning as I hold back tears which want to escape, but I won’t let them, not in front of him, anyway.
Declan tells him what I’m signing, and dad tries to take a step closer to me, but Declan stops him.
“I’m more than happy to make her request of her dad being dead real. You’ve lost your wife, and your daughter, do you really want to lose your life too?” Declan pushes him a little harder, making him take a step back. “The door is behind you.”
I walk away from them both and stand next to Declan’s dad. I know him and Cain had something to do with her death, he looks over at me, and I smile.
“Thank you,” I whisper to him, and he looks at his wife, before turning to me.
“Always have faith in the family. Welcome to the family, soon to be Crawford I hope.” He kisses my cheek.
“Not yet,” Jane laughs, and I nod agreeing with her. I love Declan but even I know we are too young to get married.
“Are you still going?” Declan's dad asks him.
“Leaving now. Cain called to say everyone is in place, and will only be there for about an hour. Lincoln will be there with me.” I look at Declan.
Where are we going?
“Words Trixie, words.” I know he’s joking, because he can never say it with a straight face, and a smirk always appears on his sexy lips. “There is still one thing I need to show you.”
“Family BBQ when you get back.” Declan's dad tells him, and I follow Declan out to his car, ready to go wherever it is he is taking me.
I stand in the woods, waiting for Declan to say something to me, but he isn’t at the moment. He’s brought me to the middle of nowhere and I wonder what he could have to show me here.
The drive wasn’t too long, but the moment he started driving through the woods I got a little scared. I look around at the trees, wondering where the hell he has brought me. I mean there is nothing around here. I asked a few times in the car, but he said he would explain once we got here. “You are safe down here. Lincoln is with us, but I’m not going to lie, it's not nice. But always have faith in me, and I’ll never let you down. Welcome to my hell.” He places his hand on the wall, and it opens. Declan puts his hand out for me, and even though I trust him with everything I have, my hand shakes as I reach out for his.
Getting as close to Declan as I can, the smell hits me hard. Do not be sick, do not be sick. The smell is a mix of what vomit, and shit, would smell like. He nods to the men in masks to my left, and the massive door opens, and I hear shouts, chanting, and I freeze to the spot.
“I’m right here, my hand will not leave yours.” I nod because even if I want to say anything no words are coming to me. Declan walks, and I follow and then I see Lincoln standing by a cell.
But I look around at all the cells, they all have metal doors in front of them, the round fight area, I think it’s the fight area as there is blood all around it. It’s something you would see in movies.
This place is giving me ice cold chills, and I move even closer to Declan, because I’ve never felt this type of chill before. I know a lot of people have died down here, and my boyfriend has killed his fair few of them.
“There is one thing you need to see, you need to know he is going to be living through hell until I kill him.” I hear Declan but I can’t see what he’s talking about, then I hear him tell Lincoln he can open it.
The door behind me opens, and I jump as I turn around, but I don’t see anyone in there. Declan walks in pulling me along with him, and that's when I see him.
Robert is standing in the corner of the cell naked, his back to us. My whole body shakes, and I look behind me and Lincoln gives me a nod with a small smile. Is he reassuring me nothing will happen to me, and he is here too? I turn back to face Robert when he talks.
“You’ve come for me.” His voice is still as horrible as it was before. How can he think I’ve come for him? He turns around, and I take a step back, but Declan holds me to stand next to him, and I look at him walking closer to me, but then I see it. The one thing Robert was so proud of, telling me how it was the part of him I would always worship because it was giving me pleasure. There is nothing there anymore and I look at Declan, smiling at him. He did this for me, everything that will happen to him down here, he is doing for me.
I try to move away again, but Declan holds me in place, and I see why. The chain around his ankle stops him walking any closer to us. We’re out of reach. Even though he is trying to touch me, he can’t and I can see how much it’s annoying him.
“Do I not get a hug, have you not missed me?” he asks, and I can’t believe he is so delusional to think like this.
“I thought my girl would like to see how much of a man you are-” Declan looks down a little and so do I, and I smile knowing that would have hurt so much, and now he has nothing. “-Well you were, now you’ll be their bitch.” Declan points behind him at the people shouting in their cells.
“Trixie will still love me.” Robert looks at me, and I look him up and down, then take a step closer to him, and with everything I have in me and before he can touch me, I slap him as hard as I can. Not knowing what takes over me, I slap him again, and this time my hand stings from the connection.
Taking a step back to stand next to Declan, I turn to Declan, and kiss him. Right now I have no words to say thank you for doing this to him, and this is the only way I can show him how much this means to me and how happy I am.
He is going to make him go through hell, make sure he suffers every day of his life, I couldn’t ask for anything else, I can never thank him enough for hurting the asshole. I want to cry with happiness, but I won’t because he will think I’m crying for him, but I’m not. Tears of fucking joy.
“I love you, Declan Crawford. Thank you.” I kiss him again, and he wraps his arms around me.
“Fucking love you, too,” he says against my mouth.
I always worried about what my life was going to be like, but now, I don’t have to worry, because no matter what happens, Declan will always be next to me and will burn the world for me, and anyone who hurts me. No matter what, I will always be there for him. He will help me through my past with Robert, and I will help him through his time in The Pit.
THE END