Chapter 13
AIDEN
Fuck my life. I hated when Victoria was right. I should have let her look him up like she had begged me to. She was never going to let me forget this.
I resisted the urge to look back at the table where I’d left Nate, as I stormed away. There were only a few people in the diner and I refused to meet any of their eyes as I passed their tables in my attempt to make my escape.
But where was I really planning on going?
Up ahead, there was a sign for the restrooms, so I veered to the left and hid in the men’s room, making a beeline for the sink. I hadn’t even known I was shaking until my fingers tried to grab ahold of the sink and slipped the first time.
Shit. I needed to pull myself together.
I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize the wild man who stared back at me. My eyes were too wide and my pupils were blown, with a glassy sheen that spoke of way too much alcohol and nowhere near enough food. No wonder Nate was adamant about feeding me.
Nate.
My stomach turned and I darted into the stall just in time to drop to my knees and purge everything into the toilet. I wasn’t usually a sloppy drunk. My nights didn’t end with me hugging the toilet, with my head hung in shame. I knew how to hold my liquor.
What I didn’t know how to handle was the realization that the guy I fucked was a stalker. Honestly, it shouldn’t have been a surprise, and it wasn’t, not really, not after finding the little figure. But it still hit me like a punch to the gut to realize just how wrong I had been about him.
Because the voice in my head had warned me that things went way beyond just normal stalking.
That he was dangerous and if I wasn’t careful, I would get burned, but I hadn’t cared.
I’d wanted him and I didn’t care about the signs or the red flags.
In fact, I’d intentionally disregarded them and chosen not to look into him despite knowing I should, and the pressure from Victoria to do so.
Bile rose up my throat and I spat it into the bowl, gagging on the foul taste.
I couldn’t go back out there. There was no way I could face him, not when I didn’t know what he was capable of, what he wanted.
A flash of anger shot through me. I gritted my teeth and slammed my fist against the wall of the stall before I pushed myself to my feet.
Fuck. Him.
There was no way I’d let him make me feel small or powerless. Not like he did at the club. That had to be his game, but I refused to play. I wouldn’t cower or beg.
I was a fucking cop and I didn’t need anyone to protect me. He should have done his homework before he set his sights on me, but it was a mistake that was going to cost him.
Making my way back to the sink, I was a little unsteady on my feet from the violent puking.
Plus, I’d already been starving when we’d gotten to the diner.
My stomach was even more in knots after emptying itself in the toilet.
Though I wasn’t sure I’d be able to eat anything. Especially not with him.
I washed my hands, sheer determination keeping me upright as I walked to the door and threw away the paper towels on my way out.
Doubt crept in as I made my way back to the table. I wasn’t sure if I hoped he was there or if he had left. There were still so many unanswered questions I had, but I wasn’t even sure if I cared about the why either way.
What he did was fucked up and inexcusable. Letting him explain would just be giving him a chance to make me doubt myself, to make me forgive him. And I couldn’t do that. I wouldn’t do that.
I was surprised when I rounded the corner and saw him still sitting there. His head was down, shoulders hunched, with his hands folded on the table in front of him. He looked like a man waiting for his execution.
Fuck.
This was not the night to be dealing with all the shit that Nate was throwing on my plate. I didn’t want to deal with it after all the drinking I’d done, even if at that point I’d thrown it all up.
I grimaced at the aftertaste left in my mouth. At least I didn’t have to worry about a kiss goodnight.
Steeling my resolve, I sat back down. Confusion nudged its way into the maelstrom of emotions swirling inside me when he didn’t look up.
Was he ignoring me? Did he not even care?
Before I could say anything, the waitress came back over and placed our burgers on the table in front of us.
“Can I get you anything else?” She looked between us, like she wanted to say something but looked nervous. I wondered what Nate had said to her while I was gone. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone back to the table. But it was too late. I was already there.
Surprised he hadn’t taken the initiative, I glanced up at Nate, but he still refused to look at me.
There was something about seeing him sitting there, lip tucked between his teeth, as though it was the only way he could keep himself from answering, where he seemed like a shell of himself, that sent a pang through me.
No! Stay strong.
“No, thank you.” I offered her a tense smile and she turned and left without another word, leaving me alone with all my bad decisions.
I leaned against the seat, staring down at the burger that usually had me salivating. But the thought of eating it made me want to run back to the bathroom and throw up again.
“You were stalking me.” It wasn’t a question because I didn’t need to ask. There was enough circumstantial evidence to know without him admitting it. But if I had any doubts, the way he flinched at the words was proof enough.
He didn’t say anything to confirm or deny, though. Smart on his end. But annoying as fuck for me. I knew why he wouldn’t want to answer my questions. As a cop, if he said anything incriminating, I could arrest him. But I wasn’t interested in that.
I just wanted answers.
“Hmph. And here I thought you said you were going to explain. Was that just another lie?” There was a bitterness to the words that I couldn’t keep at bay. But it got the reaction I wanted from him.
He peeked up at me, glaring. “Nothing was a lie.”
“Bullshit.” I pushed away the plate of food and crossed my arms before leaning down on the table. Our gazes locked and I wouldn’t let him look away.
Nate let out a huff. I didn’t like the way his body had gone all rigid. It felt wrong.
“Who are you?”
The question seemed to throw him off. His brow furrowed, confusion clear across his face. “I already told you. Nathan Tu—”
I shook my head. “No. I want you to tell me who you are.”
His teeth gnawed at his lower lip and his apprehension seemed to grow the longer we sat there looking at each other.
“I don’t know what that means. I-I am telling you.”
My mouth opened to try and explain what I meant, but as unease rolled through him as he struggled with such a simple question, my heart ached for the way he seemed to flounder and be completely lost over such a simple question. But I was also curious, and I wanted to see what his answer was.
I waved my hand in a gesture to let him continue and sat back.
He took a breath, rubbing his hands on his thighs. His gaze shot toward me from under his lashes for a moment before he went back to looking at the table, as if he couldn’t bear to look at me.
“I’m a land developer. I buy land and businesses that are neglected and revitalize them into something new, ideally something that benefits the community, but I’ll admit, it doesn’t seem to always work out that way.
I like learning new things, but it’s usually from books because I’m not very good with people. ”
I let out a sharp whistle.
“Wow. Okay. I’ll admit, I wasn’t expecting the job.” With a chuckle, I leaned forward and offered him a soft smile.
My eyes raked over him, noticing the little things.
The way his outfit was perfectly tailored, even though it was more on the casual side.
That told me it was expensive, designer, not something bought from a big chain store.
So, he obviously was good at his job and did well for himself.
So, despite his claims of not being good with people, he probably didn’t have a hard time finding people for hookups.
Which begged the question, why was he fixated on me?
“Did you follow me to the club?”
Wide eyes shot up to mine before they quickly glanced back down as he worked through the question.
The gears were practically turning at light speed as he tried to figure out the best answer, before he finally swallowed hard before sitting back in his seat.
His fingers flexed slightly against the table, and I wondered if it was a tell of a truth or a lie.
Something to tuck away to figure out later.
“Yes.”
Oh. The admission stunned me. I opened my mouth to respond, but I wasn’t sure what to say to that. Everything I’d prepared had been in anticipation of a denial. Begrudgingly, I had to give him some respect for not trying to bullshit me.
“Why?” That was the one thing I couldn’t figure out. If he knew my name and where I lived, then he could have just as easily gotten the information on where I worked or even my phone number. So, why didn’t he just approach me or text me?
He had to know it was creepy either way.
For the first time, he seemed uncomfortable as he shifted in his seat. “Because I wanted to see you. But I didn’t think I should. I thought I could stay away, that it would be best for you.”
“Why?” I felt like a broken record, but I didn’t understand. And I didn’t like the fact that he took the choice away from me, but then barged into my life anyway.
A heavy sigh left his body, like he was explaining something simple to a child who was acting stupid. I was starting to get annoyed.
“Most people don’t actually like me once they get to know me.
I thought I’d be doing you a favor.” He picked up his glass and chugged the rest of the water that was still in it before he set it down.
The silence stretched on for an uncomfortable amount of time, but he stared at the ice as he shuffled the glass from hand to hand.
“You do know stalking is illegal, right? And it’s not too smart when you decide to do it to a cop.
” What I wouldn’t tell him, was the way his attention made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Like he cared enough to watch over me and protect me.
Which was ridiculous, because I was a cop and could protect myself.
He nodded and his Adam’s apple bobbed, his eyes not leaving his hands. His mouth opened and closed a couple times, as though he were trying to figure out his next move, or to work up the courage to ask his next question.
“I suppose this is the end of our first and last date?” His eyes flickered up to my face for a moment before darting back down. “And that I’m under arrest.”
I’d barely heard the last part, as he spoke so low, but the dejection in his voice was obvious, even if the words hadn’t been at first. As the words took root and my brain processed what he was assuming, my heart lurched.
Fuck. No. I said I’m not forgiving him.
“Shut up and eat your burger.” I had no idea what I was doing, and it was probably something I was going to regret, but as I pulled my plate toward me and bit into my own burger, ignoring the way he stared at me with wide, uncertain eyes, I told my doubts to go fuck themselves.