Chapter 32
AIDEN
Fire. I felt like I was being consumed by fire.
Every time I moved, the pain in my side felt like it was going to engulf me, consume me, destroy me. Or, maybe that was just my wishful thinking.
Since I woke, I’d felt like I had been living a nightmare I couldn’t escape no matter how much I tried.
When I first woke up in my bed, I’d been terrified and confused, wondering where Nate was. I had remembered being with him, that something had happened, something bad. But the details were foggy and I couldn’t remember what had me so scared.
I didn’t know where my Daddy was. It wasn’t like him not to still be in bed with me when I woke.
Then, I moved to get up, and the searing pain cleared the fog away. With a gasp, I sat there, partially hyperventilating and partially dry-heaving as the memories assaulted me. Instead of clarifying the situation, I’d only been left more confused.
I didn’t understand why I was alive, or in my own bedroom, for that matter. As I’d passed out, I had been so sure Nate would kill me—that he’d technically already had, and my body just had to catch up.
Now, I just wished I were dead. I felt like I was. My body was a living ghost walking in the shadows of my life, not really living my life, or registering anything that was going on around me. It wasn’t as though any of it mattered anymore anyway.
I gingerly made my way through the house, needing to stop every few steps to take a break due to feeling winded and waiting for the pain to subside.
Not that it ever went away. He must have given me something strong, though, because it got worse as time went on.
But as I went through the house, there was no sign Nate was still there, waiting for me.
And I wasn’t sure how to feel about that, which was all sorts of fucked up. But there was a part of me that was pissed off that he had done this to me and then just left me alive and alone to deal with it by myself.
He had to have been the one to leave me in bed because nothing looked out of place. Even my car was in the driveway.
And there was no way I had driven myself home.
What the hell happened?
I didn’t know what sort of twisted and fucked-up mind game Nate thought he was playing, but I didn’t appreciate it. Did he expect me to thank him for not killing me? That I wouldn’t turn him in just because he had spared my life?
Well, he could go to hell.
I paced around my living room the best I could, grabbing onto furniture and anything sturdy enough that would help keep me on my feet, until I was too tired to keep standing—which, in my condition, didn’t take long at all. But the movement, the pattern of my steps, helped me to think.
At least, until my thoughts consumed me and were too much. They took me in a dark direction I didn’t want to think about and I shut down. Nothing mattered anymore. I was fucked.
The first thing I should have done when I woke up was call it into the station.
To report I knew who the killer was and I was injured, needing medical assistance.
Instead, I did nothing except ignore Victoria’s calls.
Though, I did call my captain and took a couple sick days so I could heal a little bit before heading back into work.
Thankfully, I had a three-day rotation off, so I’d only missed one day so far.
But I knew eventually, Victoria would get tired of me ignoring her and show up before I even had to report back to work. But until then, I needed to figure out what I was going to do. I needed a plan, because there was no way Nate was going to let me go. I knew too much.
Which begged the question why he even went through this charade to begin with. We didn’t have any evidence he toyed with his victims like this before he killed them. So, it didn’t make any sense. Leaving me alive, alone, with access to resources, it almost seemed like a test in trust.
But that couldn’t be right. Because he had to have been long gone by now. And I still had no idea what the fuck I was doing.
It had been four days since I’d discovered Nate’s secret, and I was no closer to deciding anything. I was also uneasy, because it had been four days and he still hadn’t made a move against me. And I still didn’t know why he had brought me home and then disappeared.
Logically, at this point, I knew I couldn’t report anything.
Not without some suspicion being cast on me.
If I said anything, it would look like I’d been protecting him to give him time to get away.
Especially since I’d called in with the flu, not because I was reporting that I had a serial killer boyfriend.
Ironically, it wasn’t a complete lie. I’d barely been able to function since I’d woken the morning after finding Nate with a body and getting stabbed.
Things like washing up, changing my clothes, or even changing my bandages seemed too big and incomprehensible.
So I ignored them. Hell, I barely ate or drank anything in the days that followed.
Functioning seemed too much to ask for. The world outside the walls of my house could stop existing for all I cared, because it had for me. Everything seemed like it was upside down. I didn’t know what to believe anymore, what to believe in.
Because of my inability to take my head out of the sand and confront what had happened, it meant that I hadn’t even looked at what Nate had done to me. Which also meant I hadn’t cleaned the wound, either. And I was pretty sure it was infected, if the fever and chills were any indication.
I was so screwed.
The flu excuse, as predicted, only got me so far with Victoria. But at least the infection made me look and sound like I was telling the truth.
Could I count that as a win?
Probably not.
On the sixth day, my phone rang for what felt like the hundredth time and I didn’t have the strength to ignore her anymore.
Every ignored call and text pushed my luck that she would show up at my door, asking uncomfortable questions that I didn’t know how to answer.
Not to mention, one look at me, and I was sure she would know the truth.
Or some version of it. While I was sure I looked sick, it was also obvious I was hurt. And that Nate was nowhere to be found, doting on me as a loving boyfriend should.
So, I finally broke down and answered.
“Hey, Vic.” I sat on the couch and winced, hoping she didn’t hear the gasp I tried to bite back. Moving still hurt like a motherfucker, no matter how gently and slowly I did it.
“Where the hell have you been? And don’t you dare say you’ve been sick with the flu. I know better than that. You still came to work with a fucking ruptured appendix.”
I swallowed thickly after having been caught so easily over my lie. Except, it wasn’t a lie. I was sick, but I just wasn’t honest about what led to getting sick.
“That was just a pain in one spot. This is a fever and my entire body feels like it’s on fire and going to fall apart.”
Her sympathetic noise made me realize maybe I’d laid it on a little too thick. The last thing I needed was her trying to come over and play nurse to make me feel better.
“I swear, V, I’ll be fine,” I muttered as I pulled another blanket over me on the couch.
My refusal to go back to bed had nothing to do with Nate or the memories there. It was just easier with the wound on my side to sit on the couch rather than lie in bed, or at least that was what I told myself.
“Maybe I should come over and take you to the doctor or at least one of the urgent care clinics.” Her worry was appreciated, but I couldn’t let her bully me into that. I couldn’t explain to a doctor what had happened to me.
Or to Victoria.
“I already told you, it’s the flu. There’s nothing they can do. I have some cold and flu medicine I’ve been taking, and it’s helping a bit.” That wasn’t a complete lie. I did have the medicine, not that I had actually taken any of it.
The lies were getting to me. I wanted to tell her so badly, so why didn’t I? Why was I still protecting him?
I also still didn’t understand why he didn’t kill me.
I was a loose end, a witness to his crimes.
Instead, he stitched me up and put me in my bed, making sure I had a bottle of ibuprofen and a bottle of unopened water on my nightstand for when I woke.
He could have come back at any time to finish the job, but he didn’t.
Would he answer if I texted? I had so many questions that I needed the answers to. Would he finally be honest with me if I asked?
What if he ran and he’s gone?
The thought made my blood run cold. Did he leave?
Of course, he did. He would have to be stupid not to have fled, as he would have had no reason to believe I didn’t report him the moment I woke up.
Because it was what I should have done.
“Aiden? Are you listening to me?” Victoria’s impatient voice cut through my thoughts, making me wince.
Shit, I’d spaced out and forgot I’d been on the phone.
“Sorry, Vic. What did you say?” I grimaced at how much of a bad friend and partner I had been recently. But I couldn’t worry about that when I had more pressing matters to attend to.
Like healing from a knife wound. That had been inflicted by my boyfriend. Who was a serial killer.
Just as she started to repeat herself, there was a knock on the front door.
Jesus Christ. Would no one leave me alone today?
“Sorry, V, someone’s here. I’ll have to call you back.” I hung up and winced as I pulled myself off the couch. I had to take a moment to catch my breath before I stumbled through the house to get to the door.
Whoever was at the door banged a few more times. Each time, my heart raced faster and faster.
I couldn’t help but fear that it was the police. That they had found out about Nate and what he had done. Maybe someone had seen him bring me into the house, but then never saw me leave, and reported a welfare check.
Fuck.
Or, whoever he had killed at his house had left a trail. We had said the killer was devolving, spiraling. And killing in his own home would have been the epitome of desperation. I thought I remembered seeing a food bag on his counter.
Oh, Nate, what did you do?
The timing of Victoria’s call and the knocking made me suspicious. Had she been checking to see where I was? To see if Nate was with me?
When I got to the door, the large blanket trailing behind me, wrapped around my shoulders. I pulled it tighter around me, like a shield as I yanked the door open without even bothering to look to see who it was.
When I saw him standing there, my vision swam, and I had to grab a hold of the doorframe to keep upright.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”