30. Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty
Leah
H eat. Weight. The low, steady roll of a chest beneath my cheek. My world is slivered between sleep and waking, soft edges and syrupy warmth, the weight of a familiar arm and the velvet slip of a thigh against my own.
Jax’s scent is the whole air flowing into me.
It’s under my tongue and behind my eyes.
I’m folded so tight to his side, my nose pressed directly to the hollow of his gland that the rest of the world doesn’t matter.
I’ve bled into him, or perhaps he’s bled into me.
I float in the shallow end of a dream, too sated and slow to care if I surface or drown.
The soft vibration of his purr seeps through me. The sound nestles into my bones, melting my marrow. My palm is splayed over his belly, ribs rising and falling under my hand. I’m so loose I could drift away, but I don’t. I’m anchored; I’m tethered; I’m… safe.
Safe.
Jax’s heart drums the word in time with his breaths. The sweetness in his scent curls thick and addictive, until my every inhale is an ache for more. The Omega in my head leaves gouges inside my skull. Alpha. Want.
The nest shifts behind me and another big presence encases my back, as Ronan slides closer to me in my nest. His arm cinches tight around my waist, pinning me seamlessly between him and Jax, his hand spreading wide enough to cover most of my belly.
He nudges my cheek with his, the brush of his stubble dragging shivering lines along my skin.
Alpha.
Danger.
That voice echoes in my head, but the other voice is just as loud.
Mate .
The word is strong enough to infuse itself into the flutter of my heart.
Rightness unfurls inside me as I acknowledge the voice; the effect ripples through every part of me.
Safe. Cherished. Loved. My body goes boneless, my spirit settling for one impossible, golden moment.
This …this is what being treasured is like. This is…
Fool. Do not listen to her.
Warmth is replaced by iced reality. My panic is sudden.
Electric. I jolt, the heat of their bodies turning to quicksand.
I’m breathless, heartbeat scattering, the ache of wanting to stay just for a breath longer ripping through me as I force my eyes open and into Jax’s already alert gaze locked into me.
"Relax, Omega," he says.
His fingers spear through my hair before I can give in to the feral urge to push away, but his grip is firm enough to keep me in place against him .
"You’re safe. We won’t hurt you." His thumb traces slow lines behind my ear, stilling everything inside me. "No one can reach you here."
The words slide under my skin, honey-thick and impossible. They’re a balm, and a taunt. A promise I want to believe with every bruised part of my soul, but he wants the kind of trust I was broken to accept. The ache in my chest is sharper than panic, and longing scrapes nerves up my throat.
"Breath us in. Touch us. Feel us inside you. Let your instincts guide you," Jax whispers, pressing his lips to my forehead. Natural and gentle and everything I want but I’m locked in a crossfire.
Sharp claws rake my ribs while every rough word from my ‘training’ rains down on me.
I want to lean in.
I want to melt.
But I know better than to want.
Trap. Trap. Trap…
A deep rumble bursts to life and vibrations shimmer along my spine, brought to me through the sound of their purrs.
An image flashes through my mind. Jax’s soapy hands cradling my scalp, Gabriel’s cheek pressed to my shoulder, Ronan’s big palms steadying my body.
My heat was all-consuming, but their touches were anchors.
They banked the wildfire in me. Purred for me, like they are now.
They became the net when I drowned in fear.
I melted for them. Gave into the sanctuary they offered, and floated there as they did delicious things to my body, eased the agony shooting through me until the waves of heat dragged me under.
Now I’m awake and the heat has gone, leaving memories of safety stitched into my bones.
Ronan buries his face in my hair, and I’m whole again, all the fractured pieces settling back into place.
I shift onto my back, looking up at him.
The urge to lean into him is greater than the urge to push, and as he rises over me, his eyes dark and lips soft my body ignites in a way it’s never done before.
The blaze of my heat is gone, but Gods. The want. The craving remains .
Ronan’s gaze burns, dark with hunger yet mixed with softness that liquefies the dark pools of his eyes. "Leah." His voice scrapes low. "May I kiss you?"
The velvet voice folds around me, shivering down to my toes. He asked me. Not Omega. Not mate. But me, Leah. The part of me that has a choice. Who can decide yes or no.
I trace the line of his jaw, the bristle of his stubble prickling against my palm. Ronan’s eyes flutter shut. He nuzzles into my palm, his breath sighing over my wrist as though he can’t get enough of my touch and…realization cracks me open.
He’s undone by me.
I’m as dangerous to him as he is to me.
I’m not in heat. My Omega side isn’t directing my urges. This is…my choice. I can use my voice, and I…I want this. I want him.
For no reason but my own.
"Yes," I whisper. "Please kiss me, Ronan."
Intensity flares behind his eyes before he dips his head, sliding his hand up to cradle my cheek, thumb brushing my lower lip. The faintest brush of lips touches mine, the kiss slow and lush. He coaxes me open, taking his time tasting, savoring, worshipping.
This is a kiss that both gives and receives, answering hunger with hunger, want with want. His purr starts low, building in his chest, rumbling against my ribs where his body presses close.
I melt under the weight of his tenderness. Everything else falls away. The fear. The shame. Every lesson burned into my skin. There is only his gentle mouth and my hungry heart, and the beautiful, earth-shaking truth that I said yes.
That I can want.
That I still do .
Both a revelation and a shock.
The front door clicks open, heavy footfalls on tile.
The moment shivers. I break from Ronan’s kiss to see Gabriel standing in the entry, his gaze locked on us tangled in the nest. His eyes crinkle at the corners, golden and wicked.
"Don’t stop on my behalf. That’s a damn nice sight to come home to. I could get used to it."
Ronan traces my jaw with his thumb, his smile lazy and slow-blooming. "I could get used to it too."
There’s a pause in me, an old reflex, the place where shame and survival always jabs me in the ribs, but the kick doesn’t come.
There’s just…space. Something easier. I don’t understand it, not really, but it holds.
Then the air is full of a warm, rich sugar.
Gabriel grins wider and lifts the box, bright with bakery wrap.
"Breakfast, Sweetheart. You hungry? I thought you might like to try some pastries from my favorite bakery. "
Jax erupts from the nest in a tangle of limbs and strides into the kitchen. "Coffee’s on me!"
Broad shoulders taper to a narrow waist, every step sending muscle rippling across his back, the flex and bunch of thigh and calf a living study in power and animal grace. The curve of his ass is high and tight, thighs dusted with dark hair, feet silent on the cold floor.
This scene is so warm. So domestic. Normal. A scene I’ve dreamed about for years when all I had was concrete and bars.
Ronan tilts my chin, and his scent rolls over me, stealing my attention. "I enjoyed our kiss, Kitten. Anytime you want another, you only have to ask."
Desire unfurls alive inside me, and I almost ask for his mouth again, but Gabriel’s voice breaks in, curious and bright. "Wait. Did you… Did you ask Ronan to kiss you?"
"She did," Ronan says, and the satisfaction in his voice is a purr all its own.
Sunshine cracks open in the way Gabriel’s face lights up.
Pure joy, and then mischief slides in. "Well, well. Tell me, Sweetheart, you gonna ask me for a kiss, too? I’m willing to sacrifice these lips any time you’re in need.
" His tone is all tease, but the wanting in it is real and my stomach somersaults.
"More than your lips will be sacrificed if you ever ask our Omega for something she doesn’t want to give." Jax leans against the counter and crosses his arm over his chest. He’s either not bothered with his nudity, or he just doesn't care .
I have to wrench my gaze off the thick, heavy cock lying between his muscular thighs to Gabriel when he speaks. "I’m not the one standing in the kitchen with my dick hanging out, brother. I’d say that’s a much better sacrifice than my lips."
A startled sound bursts out of me before I can stifle it and suddenly all three Alphas are looking at me and I’m under the scrutiny of three sets of eyes that miss nothing.
Gabriel’s smile gentles as he approaches the nest. "I was going to put these away for later, but…Why don’t we eat in your nest? What do you say?"
Another offer. Giving me another choice.
Anxiety prickles under my skin at the thought of crumbs in my nest but that urge dies quick and small next to the bigger truth: I don’t want to move. I want to stay where our scents are thick, and Ronan’s body is so warm.
"I… I want to stay here," I say.
Gabriel’s smile widens. "Nest it is, then."
He kicks off his boots, sending them thudding against the wall, and vaults over the back of the couch with a kind of showy grace that makes the cushioning bounce.
Ronan eases me upright, so I’m bracketed between his thick, warm thighs.
He drapes a heavy throw over my torso, tucking it close around my shoulders.
A delicious fragrance wafts over me, unrelated to the pastries, and I can’t help but bring the edge of the blanket to my nose and inhale. The material saturated with our essences, and an alchemy of comfort pours through me.
Everything about this set up should unnerve me. The blanket, the nest, their bare skin pressed alongside mine, the way they look at me with hunger and hope. I’m braced for the trap, but it doesn’t come.
"Why isn’t this terrifying me?" I gasp when I realize I’ve spoken out loud.
Ronan’s biceps jump. "Means you’re starting to listen to your instincts, Kitten."
I want to believe him, but uncertainty crackles in my chest as the familiar fear bleeds back in.
Ronan kisses my temple. "Good Omega." And now I’m oozing in warmth .
Jax bustles over with a tray filled with clean plates, the coffee pot and mugs enough for all of us before he climbs into the nest and my mind blanks at the sight of all that velvet skin on display.
He grins at Gabriel, eyes rolling. "You heathen. We’re not savages living in the wild. We can eat off plates."
Gabriel just snorts, settles the box of pastries in my lap, and flicks open the lid. The rush of sugar, flaky butter, caramelized fruit and spice, and dark chocolate melting into dough makes my stomach clutch with want.
Inside is a glorious tangle of pastry. Glossy chocolate croissants, sugar-dusted escargots swirled with pistachio and cream, braided plaits dotted with berries, rough domes sticky with apricot glaze.
A stack of cinnamon knots glistens with glaze.
I even spy a single, golden kouign-amann , its caramelized sugar edges burnished and inviting.
Gabriel rubs the back of his neck. "I, uh… I bought one of everything. Didn’t know what you’d want. Figured better too much than not enough. You can try them all if you want, or just whatever you like."
I don’t know what to pick. The choice is impossible. "It’s been so long since I’ve had anything like this."
Gabriel plucks the kouign-amann from the box and hands it to me. "Have my favorite. I want you to make it yours."
That first bite shatters between my teeth, the caramelized sugar giving way to rich, salty butter beneath.
Flavor floods my tongue and for a suspended moment I’m fifteen again, wedged between my parents in our local coffee shop.
The laughter, the easy warmth, my mother sneaking me her half of a pastry just like this, my dad pretending not to notice.
I’d forgotten. Gods, I’d forgotten I ever had mornings like that before my world fractured.
I clench my eyes closed, holding back hot tears, cradling the memory, desperate for it to stay untouched by everything that happened at Haven. I want it to stay clean. Just one small piece of my life that can remain unsullied.
The Alphas are fighting not to stare at me, but their attention is a living thing. Gabriel can’t help himself. "Knew you’d like it." He chews his own bite, voice light, but then something brighter edges in. "Just wait until we take you outside later."