Chapter 5
chapter five
“Maisie. Come on. Time to wake up.” I’m being poked at and I groan. I could use a few more hours of sleep. I cling tighter to my pillow. Somehow, it hardens. “Uh, berry.” There’s a tight voice. “You’ve gotta ... I mean, please get up.”
That’s enough to jerk me awake. I pull my head off of Nate’s shoulder, absolutely mortified that I’d let myself sleep on him.
“Oh my God. I’m so ?—”
“Bathroom. I mean . . . I need to go.” And then he’s gone.
My cheeks burn in shame. I’ve only barely realized that he has an aversion to touch, and then I go and immediately ruin it?
What’s worse is that I liked it. I already wish I’d been awake for my time on his shoulder, and I hate the way I feel empty now that he’s gone.
“Cagey, that one,” a gruff voice says. I turn to see the old man watching where Nate has run off to.
“He doesn’t like certain things. It’s fine.” I shrug. If I say it out loud, maybe it will be.
“Doesn’t seem fine. You planning on talking to him about it?”
“Talking to him?” I laugh. “Why would I do that?”
He huffs. “Talking matters in relationships, kid.”
“Oh, we’re not like that. We’re only friends.”
“Really?” he asks. “Huh. I could’ve sworn ...”
“Yep, just friends on a trip. He just likes his space, and there’s not a lot of that.”
“You’re telling me. Extra legroom, my ass.” He crosses his arms. “You don’t have to crowd the poor guy then.”
He’s right. I’ve done enough. No, more than that, and I want to be better. Slowly, I move more to the middle of the seat, where I’m touching the stranger next to me, but at least Nate will have more room. It’s awkward, but it’ll have to do.
“Thanks,” I say.
“Eh, we all have to survive together in these conditions. I feel like a damn sardine.” With a shake of his head, the man goes back to his phone, and I only feel a little better.
The cruise sets out tomorrow, and we have one night in a regular hotel room before we set sail. Originally, that room was supposed to be a king-sized bed, but I make a mental note to change that so Nate can get some space.
It only delays the inevitable, but it’ll be something.
Nate returns moments later. He eyes where I’ve shifted to and sits without complaint. He seems more comfortable now that I’m not pressed against him.
I should feel good about what I’ve done. After all, I’m being a good friend.
And yet, the urge to sneak back closer to him, just to see what would happen, is strong.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Thankfully, I manage to keep my desire to touch him tamped down for the rest of the flight. Once we’re in Orlando, I’m too busy getting a taxi to our hotel to think of anything else.
And I’m still busy when we get to the hotel too, because I have to beeline to the front to ask about swapping rooms. I must be lucky, because there’s an extra one with two queens that we’re able to take .
Nate walks in as I get the key cards. “All set?” he asks.
“Yep.” I hand him one of the cards. “Two beds and everything.”
He pauses. “Did you originally get two beds? Were you planning on not sleeping with Rob?”
I roll my eyes. “I was able to swap the rooms. I can’t do that on the cruise, but at least we can get a little space from each other. The flight was bad enough.”
I grab my suitcase and head in the direction of the room so I don’t have to see Nate’s reaction to what I’ve said. The last thing I want to do is make him feel bad for a fair boundary.
“Wait up,” he says as he catches up to me. “Are you excited to get to the room or something? I’ve never seen you move so fast.”
“I need to reorganize my suitcase, Nate.” It’s both a lie and not. I do need to see what all I brought. Packing was a mad dash, and I already know I’ll regret the choices I made.
Nate laughs, and I’m grateful for how easygoing it sounds. “I should’ve known. I’ve never seen you be so disorganized.”
“Watch it,” I warn. “Or I’ll organize your suitcase too.”
“Trust me, you don’t wanna go in there.”
I probably don’t, but I can still threaten him anyway.
Our room is exactly what I want. Two beds and a bathroom in the back. I let out a sigh of relief when I see it.
“I’m calling the bed closest to the door,” Nate says immediately. He flops onto the mattress to make his point.
“Want the ability to make an easy escape?” I ask.
“Something like that.”
I walk over to the free bed, ready to make true on my promise of going through my suitcase. I have a bad feeling I can’t shake that I forgot something important.
When I finally get it open, I wince. I’m terrible at last-second decisions, and what I’ve packed shows that.
I go through what I have. The dress shirts I’ve brought are a light material, and if I pair them with the tank tops I shoved in, then that should work. I’ve brought way too much underwear, a classic for me, and done a decent job of getting all the toiletries I should need.
But as I get to the bottom of my suitcase, I realize that I’ve forgotten one major thing I’ll need.
In my rush, I grabbed a single pair of khaki slacks. And nothing else.
I’m currently wearing a pair of leggings I use for running. Neither of those go with anything else I brought.
Fuck.
“You’re panicking about something over there. Wanna tell me what it is?” Nate sounds relaxed.
I slowly turn to him. “So, I forgot shorts.”
“Ah.”
“This is why I plan .”
“Sorry I burst your bubble, berry. But we can fix this.”
“If you suggest cutting my very nice slacks, I’ll?—”
“Let’s just go buy shorts.” He says it as if it’s obvious. I stare at him, waiting for the “I told you so” or for him to laugh at me. But that’s something I would expect from Rob. Not Nate.
“I’ll go. You just got here and that was a long flight.”
It’s an out I don’t want him to take, but I owe it to him to at least offer space after using him as a pillow.
“A long flight?” He scoffs. “It was just a few hours. Come on. We’ll both go.”
I have to hide the feeling of relief that floods me. Good. He doesn’t want to avoid me.Things aren’t totally messed up.
We wind up being able to take an Uber to a nearby store. Nate and I bicker on the ride there about who should be covering the cost of getting around town, but we settle on taking turns.
By the time we walk into the store, I’ve forgotten all about the plane.
Both men’s and women’s clothes line the walls. I’m tempted to shop for work clothes because they have a sale on more dress shirts and slacks, but Nate shakes his head and leads me to shorts.
And that’s when I realize why I didn’t pack any. I only have two pairs that I’ve not put on my body in years. I can’t wear them to work, and I opt for leggings on the weekends. My legs haven’t seen the light of day in far too long.
It’s going to be hot in the Caribbean. I know that, and I need comfortable clothes, but I hate the idea of this.
Nate watches me carefully, and I know he’s about to pick up on how little I want to do this.
“Do you wanna look at the men’s clothes while I find something?”
“I will later. But now we’re focusing on you.”
“Yeah, but it’s clothes shopping. I’ll have to try on a ton of stuff, and I doubt you care about that.”
It’s a feeble excuse, but a good enough one. Nate might be my best friend, but he’s still a guy. Long ago, Rob told me no guy likes to go shopping and handed me a hundred-dollar bill to treat myself with.
Nate turns to me, eyes narrowed. “And why’s that?”
“It might get a little boring.”
“I’m never bored when I’m with you.”
It’s such a simple statement, but I blink up at him regardless. It hits me that in all of my years with Rob, there were many times he was very bored of me.
“You’re lying.”
“I’m not. Even when we’re doing something that’s not exactly fun, I can always annoy you and it cheers me up.”
“Is that why you braided my hair in English?”
He smiles. “You caught me.”
I let out a breath, but I also feel my lips turning upward. “Okay, fine. But this’ll be a test on how long you can go without being bored.”
“This is also a test in how long you can hide the fact that you’re nervous about trying on shorts.”
My jaw falls open, but then I shut it quickly. “Shut up.”
He laughs. “Never. But you’ll be grateful for these when you have them. So, pick a few and try them on.”
“Fine. But no snide comments when you see me in them.” I point at him. “Say one negative thing and I’m spending the trip in my work clothes.”
Nate frowns. “Berry, I wouldn’t dare.”
I pause at his serious tone. “You say my legs are short all the time.”
“They’re short in a cute way.”
“A cute way?” I ask.
“Yeah. You have to hop to keep up with me.” He laughs again, and I hurl a pair of shorts his way. He catches it with ease.
“And for that little comment, you’re now carrying everything.”
“The joke’s on you. I was about to offer anyway.”
I throw another pair at him, rolling my eyes.
Eventually, I have a pile of nearly every kind. Denim shorts, bike shorts, and shorts that don’t go as far down my thighs. I may as well try everything.
Nate carries it all as we head to a fitting room. He sits outside as I go in. As I’m about to shut the door, he calls out, “And you better show me what fits!”
“Fine,” I grumble. I put the clothes down and lock the door.
“That’s nice.” I hear it from the dressing room next to me. “My husband never cares.”
My cheeks erupt in flames, but I say nothing as I grab the first pair.
The first two aren’t even close to fitting, which hits my self-esteem hard. Andrea was on me every day about losing weight before the wedding to make my dress fit better. I didn’t listen, but I can’t help but remember her words. How much more had I taken in that damn relationship ?
“Maisie,” Nate calls from outside. “I was serious about being included.”
“I know,” I reply. “The first two didn’t fit.”
I pull on the third pair without even looking at them, and thankfully, they button without a fight. I let out a sigh of relief and open the door.
“Okay, here. What do you think?”