Chapter 24
chapter twenty-four
Nate joins us right when I’m telling Scarlett about Aaron’s expression when we explained that we’re not together. He slips into the conversation with ease, sitting right next to me, and gets a drink before continuing to talk about his adventures with Aaron.
“Wait,” Scarlett says when Nate is regaling her with what happened to Aaron while snorkeling. “You were involved with the jellyfish sting too? Are you a magnet for disaster?”
“Normally, I’m the disaster.” He shrugs. “Gotta mix it up, I guess.”
“And here I was, avoiding all of it.” She shakes her head. “At least someone adventured.”
“You bought five dresses,” I remind her. “That’s an adventure.”
“And a good one too.” She finishes off her drink before standing. “And as much as I’d like to stay all night, I need to go pack. We get off the boat tomorrow, and I don’t think I have enough room in my suitcase. Hopefully, I’ll see you tomorrow before we get on our flights.”
“I’ll try my best,” I say. “Have fun.”
She leaves Nate and me alone with one last wave .
“Yeah, it’s really a shame she doesn’t live nearby. She seems cool.”
“And really smart. Did I tell you she’s a therapist? She caught ... a lot with me.”
“Is that why you’re so well-adjusted on this trip?”
“It’s why I’m mostly well-adjusted. It’s nice to be around some emotional maturity.”
“You say that like I’m not emotionally mature.”
“You make it your life’s mission to be emotionally immature.”
“No, just immature. I’ve had a lot of practice handling my emotions.” He takes a sip of his drink, leaving me to think about what Scarlett had said about talking to him about my own issues.
“Do you wanna walk around the boat?” I ask. “I think I need to move around.”
“Uh, yeah. I think I can handle that. As long as you can deal with being near the water in the dark.”
“I’ll do my best.”
We meander, talking about small things that don’t really matter. I’m doing my best to work up the courage to say anything when we get to the bow of the ship. Wind whips at my hair and the sky is dark and empty.
“Never got the courage to come out here,” I say.
“You’d be looking at the endless ocean,” he reminds me. “That’s not historically your favorite thing.”
“Yeah, well.” I bite my lip before turning to him. “I’m working on trying new things.”
“And you’re doing it well. Never did I think you’d be learning to swim.”
“Me either. But I am.”
“You’ll be wanting to do it soon enough.”
I shake my head. “Definitely not. But I’ve made progress. And I really owe you for ... all of it.”
“I just taught you how to swim.”
“Not just that,” I say. “You got me to come here in the first place, and you’ve made sure I had a good time, even when I was being difficult.”
“Berry.” His voice is soft. “It’s nothing. I’d do all of this over again, and more.”
More? That’s exactly what I want.
I pull him into a tight hug, feeling the way he wraps his arms around me easily. My heart pounds in my ears. Am I really about to do this? Am I really about to ruin the friendship?
As my arms tighten around him, all I can think about is how terrified I am.
But this isn’t the first time I’ve been scared. I was when I got on the ship. When I fell into the water. When I willingly went back into it.
I survived all of those things.
I can survive this too.
Moving away only slightly, I catch his eyes with mine. I don’t know if I’ll ever have the words to express what he means to me. Maybe I don’t have to figure out the right thing to say.
I can show him instead.
And I lean in just the extra inch to kiss him.
Nate tenses, and I don’t blame him. Never in my life did I think I would be kissing Nate of all people, but I also didn’t think I’d ever learn to swim either.
It’s nothing more than a press of lips, but it means more to me than anything else I’ve done. This is the moment everything could change, or it could stay the same. I don’t know which will happen, but I’ll find out soon.
I give him a moment, and when he doesn’t move, I end it. I tell myself I’ll be okay if he doesn’t reciprocate and we’ll move on. Maybe one day we’ll laugh about this.
“What was that?” he asks.
“Me trying something.”
His gaze flickers between my eyes and my lips, like he’s not sure where to look. “Why?”
“I wanted to,” I say.
“I don’t think ... this is a good idea.”
Slowly, my heart sinks.
“Does it have to be a good idea? The cruise wasn’t, and look at where we are.”
I wait patiently. If he pushes me away, I’ll accept it. I won’t be mad, and I’ll put in the work to accept just being friends. Both of us will.
“Maisie, I . . .”
Tilting my head, I let him have as much time as he needs. My heart pounds in my chest, but I try to be still.
He watches it all as he tries to work out what to say. I can imagine him trying to figure out how to let me down gently.
His next words are not that.
“Fuck it.”
His arms tighten before he kisses me again. His lips move against mine, almost making up for lost time.
All sounds fall away around me, and relief hits me like a truck. All the worry vanishes and I wrap my arms around his neck, releasing a breath through my nose.
I’ve not kissed that many men, but I usually get tired of it. I’d do the usual hello and goodbye kiss, and nothing more, if I could avoid it.
This isn’t like that. I have Nate closer than he’s ever been and I don’t want to let go. I need to learn how he moves, what makes him tick. I’m torn between rushing things and taking it slow so I can savor every moment.
I land somewhere in the middle. The kiss stays chaste for a moment before I swipe my tongue across his bottom lip. Nate groans, but opens up immediately, and suddenly we’re making out like two teenagers hiding in a movie theater.
God, we should’ve been doing this then. We should have been doing this for years .
I pull away, out of breath, but desperate for more .
“So ...” I laugh awkwardly. “Wanna go back to the room?”
“A-and what are we doing back in the room?”
Images flash through my mind, ones that feel like a dream come true. There’s not much I wouldn’t do with the man in front of me.
“Whatever we want to.” My voice is breathless as I wait for him to agree.
When he swallows and nods, I feel like I’ve won the lottery.