Chapter 23
chapter twenty-three
I, of course, don’t catch Nate. His long legs make him ridiculously fast.
So, I do what anyone else would do: I tell him while out of breath that I’ll forget about it and hit him when he least expects it.
Nate nearly jumps out of the elevator when I go for the same spot. I erupt in a cackle when he tries to get away from me.
“I fucking knew you wouldn’t let it go.” His bottom lip pokes out as he glares at me.
“Of course I wouldn’t. I know a weakness now.” I go for it again, but he stops me in my tracks by grabbing my arm.
“You lose reaching privileges.”
I use my other arm. I get one swipe in before he’s holding both of my arms, and I’m pressed against the elevator wall.
“Don’t make me regret letting you touch me.”
My jaw drops. He doesn’t mean it like it sounds, but my mind goes the wrong way and all I can think is that I wish he meant it that way. I wanted him to use that low voice on me and ask for more.
But then he’s gone .
“Sorry.” The tips of his ears are red. “Let’s forget that happened.”
I resist the urge to fan myself. “Yeah, definitely. I don’t wanna remember that you actually got the jump on me.”
Nate laughs. “That I will remember.”
The elevator stops at our floor and he gestures for me to go first. I consider it before shaking my head.
“Enjoy your shower. I’m gonna keep going up and hang out on the deck.”
“By the pool?”
I roll my eyes. “I won’t even go near it. I just wanna sit and not have to see your ass while you shower. Enjoy the privacy.” I all but push him out of the elevator.
“I’ll come find you when I’m done,” he says.
With a nod and a goodbye, I’m alone and heading farther up.
Things feel so much better than yesterday, but I can’t deny that there’s a change in the air between us.
Or at least how I’m seeing things. I’m glad to know he doesn’t hate being near me, but I can feel myself wanting to take it even further.
The time away is good for me. I pull out my phone, not fully wanting to be alone.
Maisie
You free for a drink? It’s on me.
Scarlett
I have the all-inclusive package, but it’s the thought that counts. Where are you?
I tell her which deck I’m on and lounge until she arrives. It doesn’t take long before I see her making her way toward me.
“Hey,” I say.
“Are you alive after your great chase on the beach?” She winks at me.
“You saw that?”
“Anyone on the beach did. ”
“Oh.” My cheeks heat. “Uh, yeah. I’m good.”
“I’m happy for you two. You make a cute couple.”
“Couple?” My voice goes up an octave, and I look around to make sure Nate isn’t done with his shower early. This is not what I want him to overhear. “No. We’re still not dating.”
Scarlett frowns. “What? But I saw you two last night. And you were flirting all day when I saw you at the beach.”
“I don’t think it’s meant to be flirting. And I still don’t know?—”
“If you’re about to tell me he’s not into you, then you’re wrong. And willfully ignorant.”
I think about the way we woke up and the way he reacted to seeing me in my swimsuit. “Okay, so there are some signs.”
“Thank you.”
“But how does one go from being friends for almost two decades to more?”
“Pretty easily, depending on the connection.”
“Without ruining things,” I clarify. “What we have is ... amazing, and I don’t want to sound like a cliché, but romance doesn’t always end well.”
Scarlett gets her drink and considers it. I wonder if I finally have a good enough point where she doesn’t have an answer.
But then she turns to me.
“You sound like you spend a lot of time wondering what could go wrong. Have you considered what could happen if it went right ?”
I blink. I know I haven’t. Things going right would mean Nate and I would be together. And what would that look like?
The second I consider it, I can see it. Moments like the couch, where we’re cuddled up and there’s no question about if I should pull away. His hand could always be in mine, right where it belongs.
I already share so much with him.
More seems . . . right .
And now that I see it, I want it.
A lot.
“There you go,” Scarlett says with a smile.
I shake off the thoughts. “But, still , what if it all blows up in my face, if he says he doesn’t have any feelings for me?”
“First of all, I have a feeling he would be lying, but that’s beside the point. You two are very dedicated to your friendship. Would you let it fall apart if he had feelings you wouldn’t reciprocate?”
“Of course not.”
“Do you think he would?”
“No.” I answer immediately.
“So, the friendship isn’t at risk.”
“But it might be awkward.”
“And then it’ll fade. The worst of things don’t stay as intense forever.”
I immediately think back to when both Nate and I lost people. Those had been the worst times of our lives, but life did go on. Eventually, the gut-wrenching, terrible pain turned into something more manageable. And now, we’re living.
“You’re a genius. An emotionally secure genius.”
She laughs. “My work here is done.”
“Wait.”
“Need more eye-openers from me?”
I shake off the thoughts of Nate. “I’ll be honest, I can’t handle that. But we’ve spent all of our time together talking about me. You’ve barely said anything about you.”
She shrugs. “I love helping others. Don’t worry about it.”
“Is that by design?” I ask.
Scarlett goes stiff. “Wow.”
I can’t help but laugh. “I might seem emotionally constipated to a therapist, but I’m capable of picking up on things.”
“Us therapists aren’t immune from being dumb about emotions.” She sighs. “We’re just good at hiding it. ”
“You don’t have to tell me anything, but I don’t even know where you live. That’s just not enough information about you.”
“Dallas,” she says. “I live in Dallas.”
“Are you from there?”
She shakes her head. “I move around a lot. Always have. My mom was broke and followed the money. I think I’m used to not settling down. Or I just get bored. I don’t mean to hide anything, but it changes day-to-day. Just last year, I lived in Chicago.”
“Moving around sounds . . . stressful.”
“You sound like someone who has a home. It’s not a bad thing to have.”
“Nashville’s not so bad. You could move there.”
She laughs. “Oh no. I’ve heard about the dating scene there, and let me tell you, it is not my thing.”
“I thought you wanted to stay single.”
“On the cruise,” she clarifies. “After this, I’ll inevitably find a younger man with mommy issues and get my heart broken again. It’s a classic move of mine.”
“Are mommy issues a common problem?” I ask slowly.
“Oh, yes. Many guys want a mommy to fuck.”
I choke on my drink. “That’s an ... image.”
“Think about how many men want a partner who does it all for them, emotionally and physically. They never learn how to be mature before they fly from the nest, and then they find a wife to replace them. And I’m a fool because I’m attracted to people who have problems. I think I can fix them. ” She laughs. “I can’t, by the way.”
“Wait, you’re attracted to people who have problems?” I frown. “Is that why you befriended me?”
She pauses with her drink at her mouth. “Called me right out. Again. ”
“I don’t know whether to be offended or glad you did it. Maybe a bit of both.”
“To be fair, it only started that way. I’ve really enjoyed having someone to talk to on this cruise. I thought I’d have fun being alone, but it hasn’t been all that great.” She smiles and then looks at me. “I do hope things work out between you and Nate.”
“Really?” I ask.
“Watching you two reminds me that there’s real love out there. I think I’ve been dating man-babies for so long that I forgot about that.”
“I still don’t know if what we have is love .”
She rolls her eyes. “Oh, it’s love. Even if it doesn’t turn into a relationship, he loves you. And I think you know that.”
“I do. He’s done ... a lot for me. And we won the Newlyweds game against a ton of married couples.”
Scarlett’s eyes go wide. “Oh my God, really?” She leans in. “Tell me everything.”