32. Ember
Ember
Steam filled the bathroom as I slowly stepped out of my clothes.
The bathroom itself was massive and so was the shower directly in front of me. Tall glass walls surrounded the area with dark tile, and a rainfall showerhead poured warm water down in a steady curtain.
I stepped under it and let the hot water hit my shoulders. God, I didn’t realize how tense my body was until now. Well, I did, seeing how that kiss almost pushed me off the deep end.
To be fair, I’d already jumped into those shark-infested waters all by myself, and now I was just trying to stay above water and not drown.
As I showered, the muscles in my shoulders loosened one by one as the heat spread down my back.
I tilted my head forward, letting the water soak through my hair, pushing everything down the drain—sweat, bodily fluids, and the weird emotional whiplash I had experienced lately.
If someone were to ask me to sum up the last twenty-four hours of my life, I’d have a lot to explain.
I was introduced to a world where someone could be kidnapped, have the best sex of their life, eat delicious fries, and then forgive the kidnapper, all because he had emotional trauma.
I reached for the bottle of shampoo on the shelf, squeezing some into my palm before working it into my hair. The scent was clean, something close to laundry detergent, and it immediately reminded me of Silas. I didn’t mind the fact that the scent was now filling the entire bathroom.
I closed my eyes as I massaged it through my scalp, thinking about everything that was going on. I knew Silas was quiet and controlling, intense in such a way the air changed when he walked into a room. Now every piece of him made sense. His mom. His dad. His brothers.
He was sixteen years old, raising kids.
My hands slowed in my hair as my heart broke for him.
No one should have to carry that kind of weight that young, which was why he was made into this type of person.
Craving that type of control over everyone...
It's because he never had any. The way he studied everything around him like he was calculating every outcome...
He had to do that for his brothers. A life like that would shape anyone into the same kind of mold.
I rinsed the shampoo out, watching white foam spiral down the drain as I replayed our conversation.
He said he never felt seen, but the weird thing was I felt like I only saw him. Despite the fact he stalked me and then forced me here, I wanted to know more. I wanted to know everything about his family, his brothers, about what kind of kid he was before the world broke him open.
After a few more minutes of washing my body, I shut the water off and stepped out of the shower. Swirls of steam radiated around me as I dried off. Once I was no longer dripping, I picked up the clothes on the counter and spread them out. A black tank top and dark sweatpants, obviously Silas’s.
Pulling the top over my head, it hung loose on me.
I didn’t mind the comfort, and I appreciated the fact it was not ridiculously oversized.
The sweatpants, however, were a different story.
The waistband slid halfway down my hips the second I let go of it.
I laughed quietly to myself and rolled the waistband twice until they stayed up.
Barefoot, with my hair still damp, I opened the bathroom door and stepped into the hallway.
When I entered the kitchen, Silas was exactly where I left him.
Sitting at the counter, he was now looking down with his head buried in his hands.
I walked up behind him and ran my hands over his back and across his shoulders.
Something about the way he looked now was heavy, like something was weighing on him that I just couldn’t see.
“Silas.” The moment I spoke he jumped.
Standing abruptly, he gave me a small kiss on my cheek. “I’m going to shower. When I get out, I want to talk more. I have something to say.”
Before I could respond, he was already walking past me down the hallway. The bathroom door closed behind him a second later.
Staring in that direction for another minute, I guessed at what personality that was. “…okay, then.” Weird, but whatever.
I leaned against the counter and grabbed another bottle of water from the fridge.
Twisting the cap open, I took a long drink.
My eyes drifted down to the counter and settled on his phone.
It was there, right where he’d left it unlocked.
Picking it up, the screen instantly lit up.
Part of me considered hiding it, just to cause trouble.
Another part was trying to convince me to just put the phone back down.
The gremlin part of my brain pushed me to go through it and find out more things about Silas on my own.
That was the side that won, like always.
My thumb swiped across the screen, and the messages opened. Kinsley’s number popped up immediately at the top of the app, because that was the last message sent. Opening a new text to her, I started typing and watched my thumbs move across the keyboard before I could overthink it.
I’m alive. Long story. Don’t freak out.
I stared at the words for a second, debating whether or not to send the message in general. Half of me knew she was already freaking out, and the other half believed she hadn’t even noticed I was gone. I was about to hit send when something else on the screen caught my eye.
A folder, right beneath the messages.
A folder with my name.
EMBER V.
My brows knitted together as my heartbeat picked up. Knowing Silas, this could be so many different things. I took one steadying breath as I tapped the icon and watched the screen instantly fill. At first, I only saw photos, but then videos started to load in—all of me.
My stomach dropped, like I’d just stepped off a ledge I didn’t realize was there. “What the hell?”
Looking through the beginning, the first few images appeared to be screenshots.
I stared at them, trying to make sense of what I was looking at.
It was my room, with me sleeping in my bed.
The angle was familiar enough that it took me a second to place it.
My eyes narrowed in, tilting the phone closer.
The TV mounted in the corner of my room, that was what this was from.
A slow breath left my lungs.
Okay. Weird, but not exactly shocking from him.
I already knew Silas had been watching me, he admitted to it—that part wasn’t exactly new information, but I still didn’t like the feeling it caused. As I tried to shrug everything off, I found another photo, but this time, it was something small with numbers.
Shaking my head, I swiped through the rest of the album before coming to the videos. My pulse started to race, beating faster as I stared at the screen. For a moment, I considered not opening them, but the gremlin won again, and I pressed play.
The video loaded, and I was viewing my room from the same angle, but this time, the lighting was different. A dim glow cascaded down from my lamp and spread across me and the blanket I was under. I watched myself sleep, shifting slightly every few minutes.
At first, that was all the video was. A few minutes passed, and it was still just me and the darkness, but then there was movement.
Someone entered the frame, and my entire body stilled when a man stepped quietly beside my bed.
His moves were slow and careful, like he knew exactly where every creaky board was.
My pulse started to hammer in my chest as the figure reached down and gently pulled the blanket away from me. At this point, I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, but I kept watching anyway. My eyes stay glued to the screen as a hand reached out, grazing my leg.
No.
No, no, no—
The hand moved slowly upward along my thigh and then dipped between them. The sight of it made my chest tighten so painfully it almost knocked the air out of me. I paused the screen, clicking on it over and over again, as if it would erase what happened.
Eventually, I moved on to the next one. I watched as the same figure returned on a different night. This time, I was on my stomach, watching him spread my legs wider to play.
Each video blurred into the next, the pattern becoming sickeningly clear. Each one was worse than the last, every video making the knot in my stomach pull tighter.
Realization slammed into me, and all other thoughts left my head. Not only had Silas been watching me, but he—this was something else entirely. He hadn’t just been coming into my room, standing over me. He violated me, touched me.
The water bottle slipped out of my grasp before I even realized my fingers had gone numb.
I didn’t watch it hit the floor because I’d lost all control of my body.
The sound of plastic cracking against tile echoed around the kitchen as water burst across the floor, splashing outward in a sudden small wave.
I didn’t notice that either, not when my hands were shaking so badly that the phone threatened to slip from my grip.
My chest was too tight, like a vice has been placed around me. Each breath came faster than the last, like my lungs couldn’t pull in enough air to keep up with the panic surging through my body.
A body that had been taken advantage of, over and over again.
I never saw his face in the videos, it was always hidden with a hood, but I knew it had to be Silas. There was no one else it could be. I held on to the counter as more dread filled my mind. At one point, my legs threatened to give out over the fact that I’d just let him—because I had thought that—
I swallowed a scream that was threatening to explode from the inside. Opening up the dial pad, I debated calling the police. But how was I supposed to explain this? How could I defend sleeping with him? Even now, I was still in the same house with him.
My hands moved as I thought of the next person to call. Kinsley's line rang once, then twice. On the last one, it went straight to her voicemail. “Damn it.” I pulled up the dial pad, knowing it had to be Bodhi next. If anyone was going to answer, it would be him.
“Hello?”
“Hey,” I said quickly, my voice shaking. “I need you to come get me.”
There was silence, then his voice came out rushed and anxious. “Ember? What the hell! Where have you been?!”
It was clear he was angry with me, and I deserved that, but right now, I really needed his help. “Bodhi, please come get me. Now.”
His voice softened immediately. “Where are you?”
I described everything I could remember, starting with the drive.
“I’m coming, hold on,” he said, clearly already moving on the other side of the phone. “Stay there.”
“No, I can’t. I—I’m going to start walking down the main road.”
“Ember—”
The phone was already out of my hand and back on the counter. I didn’t grab anything, I just walked straight out the door and away from Silas.
I remembered some turns we took, along with the general direction from where the car had come. At this point, I’d rather end up anywhere else than here, with him. Fifteen minutes passed, and I’d made it pretty far. My legs started to ache just as headlights pulled up beside me.
The passenger door swung open, and Bodhi leaned across the seat. “Get in, Em.”
I listened, climbing in immediately and sagging into the seat. My body was fully numb now, matching the feeling inside my brain.
The moment the door shut, he looked straight at me, and I could feel the anger radiating off of him. “Were you trying to get yourself hurt?!” he snapped.
I stared down at my hands, but they only reminded me of the others that had touched me. “No.”
He opened his mouth to say something else, but his eyes dragged over my clothes, clearly displeased. Then suddenly, he frowned, “Where’s your necklace?”
“I… don’t know.”
Bodhi just exhaled sharply through his nose as he shifted the car into drive. We sat in silence the rest of the ride. Bodhi simmered in his anger, and I continued to shatter in silence. By the time our house came into view, I was now heavily bleeding from the broken pieces within me.
Bodhi parked and cut the engine. “Kinsley and Kolby are with their family,” he said flatly. “I had to leave to come get you.”
Guilt twisted at my stomach, which only made the bleeding worse. After he was done saying that, he opened the door and slammed it shut as he headed toward the front door.
Bodhi had never been this angry with me before, and that was how I knew I’d messed up.
He hated me as much as I hated myself.