15. Bailey
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Bailey
PAST
I didn’t mean to. Well, actually I did, but I forgot I’d changed the contact number on my student account to Mirabelle’s at the beginning of the year. I wanted them to call my parents—not my sister.
I know how fucking stupid it was to add vodka to my water bottle, but all I’ve heard my parents talk about the last couple of weeks is how they’re going to fix things with Mirabelle. I wonder what it’s like to be the favorite child, even when they’re mad at her.
She ruined everything when she left, and it’s like she doesn’t even care.
This morning, I sat there at breakfast listening to my parents debate whether they should reach out to her or not, and all I could think was, What do I have to do to make them notice me?
Hunter got to be my knight in shining armor, coming to rescue my drunk ass after Mirabelle called him. I didn’t expect him to bring Kaitlyn with him. I didn’t want her to be as disappointed in me as I am in myself.
It was a mistake, but it’s one I can’t take back .
The sound of the front door closing was enough to pull me from the light sleep I’d fallen into once I lay down on Kaitlyn’s parents’ couch. I heard Henry talking to Kaitlyn, but I don’t want to talk to Mirabelle.
It’s her fault all of this is happening. Everything was fine before she left and messed everything up. Fuck, I know how stupid it sounds to blame her. It’s not her fault Dad has a secret kid, but I wish she wasn’t so damn perfect all the time.
I’m afraid of the rage swirling inside me, and I don’t know how to make it go away.
There’s a rough shove to my shoulder, hard enough to jostle my entire body. “Leave me alone,” I mumble, my words slurring together as I swing an arm out, but Henry’s out of reach.
“Henry, I can wake him up,” Mira says from behind him, but a couple blinks help clear my vision to see Henry’s stony expression.
“Bailey, get up,” he instructs, keeping his voice even.
“No. I’m sleeping,” I argue, closing my eyes again, and I shouldn’t be surprised when he shoves me harder this time.
“We’re leaving. Get up.”
My eyes flash open, and I scowl at Henry standing over me.
“Bailey, don’t make this harder than it needs to be,” Hunter adds.
My mind is muddled, and I can barely keep my thoughts straight. My ears are ringing as I finally look at my sister.
“Why is she here?” I wobble as I sit up, the words dripping with venom. “I don’t want her here. Kaitlyn, I told you not to call her.” I try to soften my voice when I look for Kaitlyn, but she’s standing at the edge of the living room.
She looks so damn disappointed in me.
“I didn’t call Mira,” she says, and I hate that I’ve let Kait down like this .
I turn back toward Henry and Mirabelle, giving into my anger. “Then why the fuck is she here?” I ask, staring directly at Mirabelle. Maybe I can make her hate me as much as I hate myself right now.
It only makes me feel worse seeing the devastation on her face, but I don’t have to see it for long because Henry’s clearly had enough. He grabs my arm, pulling me to my feet and along with him as I trip over my own feet trying to keep up.
My stomach is churning when we get to the car, and he opens the door for me, shaking his head.
I almost wish he’d hit me because it might feel better than the anger inside me.
“She’s here because you’re her brother, and she loves you.
She’s not the enemy. I don’t know who is, but I can sure as shit tell you it’s not Mirabelle. ”
Hit me, please.
“You don’t know everything, Henry,” I say roughly, moving to get in the car.
Hunter climbs in the other side a few moments later, turning toward me. “What the hell is going on with you?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I mumble, dragging a hand over my face.
None of it matters anymore.
I’m sitting on the couch, staring at my parents as they continue berating me for what happened last night. Hunter is next to me, tapping his hand anxiously on his knee.
“I don’t even know what to say to you both right now, but especially you, Bailey.
What the hell were you thinking getting drunk at school?
School, of all places! Do you have any idea how lucky you are the school didn’t call the police?
” Mom stares me down, losing her infamous temper, before leveling Hunter with the same glare.
“You’re supposed to look out for your brother.
How could you not tell us he’d quit soccer? ”
“Mom, I was trying to help Bailey—” Hunter tries to say. I’d like to blame it on the fact I’m still a little drunk, but I can’t help but laugh. They’re supposed to be the parents. It’s not Hunter’s fault they didn’t notice.
“What part of this is funny?” Dad asks, his quiet tone on the opposite side of the spectrum as Mom’s. “You could have ruined your future today before you even have a chance to make something of yourself.”
Mom pinches the bridge of her nose, exhaling a sharp breath. “Why? Why would you do this? I know we’ve raised you better than this, and you’ll be spending your five-day suspension thinking about how you plan to take accountability for this mistake,” Mom says, and again, I laugh.
“Bullshit,” I mutter to myself.
Out of the corner of my eye, Hunter turns toward me, bumping my leg with his knee.
“Excuse me?”
Normally, the edge in her voice would have me immediately backtracking, but knowing what I know, I refuse to look away.
I clear my throat, making sure there’s no mistaking me. “I said bullshit. No one here takes accountability for their actions, especially you and Dad.” It’s the closest I’ve come to calling them out on the lies they’ve told.
Dad’s eyes widen, and he straightens in his seat. “Hunter, go to your room,” he instructs, and I roll my eyes.
Hunter’s gaze goes back and forth between us.
“If it’s okay, I want to stay?—”
“Now.”
This time, there’s no room for protest, and, like a good little soldier, my twin moves toward the stairs, only glancing at me before he turns the corner. I can feel the anger radiating from my father, but this is what I wanted.
I wanted them to see me.
“ Bailey Mark Walker, I don’t care what the hell you think you know, but you won’t speak to your mother this way. We’re still your parents.”
“Really? Now you want to be my parents? Where were you when I quit soccer three weeks ago?” I ask, my temper slipping, and I hate how shitty I feel right now.
“I’m not even sure you would’ve noticed if Mirabelle hadn’t told you this afternoon, but I guess you weren’t talking to her either until today.
What kind of parents does that make you? ”
Dad flinches, and I thought it’d feel good to make them hurt as much as I do, but it doesn’t. Instead, an apology burns on the tip of my tongue.
I’m sorry I’m not more like you.
I scoff, shaking my head to keep tears from forming as I stand up. Mom rests her hand on Dad’s knee, stopping him from following me, and I feel a part of my soul crack at the sight of the silver tears flowing down her cheeks.
Still, I can’t erase the hurt I’ve felt, learning just how invisible I am to them.
“Just go to your room,” Mom whispers, her shoulders sinking, and I take the opportunity to flee. I wish I didn’t feel as guilty as I do.
Hunter’s lingering on the stairs, looking at me like he barely recognizes me. I can’t blame him. I barely recognize myself most days.
He follows me to my room, catching the door before it can shut behind me.
“Why are you so fucking angry at everyone? Why are you acting like this?”
“Drop it,” I say, but he shoves me from behind. I barely catch myself before I fall into my desk .
“No. I’m letting everyone think I know what the hell is going on with you when I’m just as in the dark as they are.”
I turn, doing everything I can to push him away.
I’ve been infested by poison, but I can protect him by leaving him out of this.
I’m not naive enough to think part of the reason I haven’t told Hunter about Carter is because I want to keep him for myself.
“I didn’t ask you to do that. I haven’t asked you for anything, Hunt. ”
“You didn’t have to ask me because it’s what we do for each other, but now I am. What is going on with you? Please , let me help.”
Looking at Hunter has always been like looking in a mirror, except lately, the mirror seems to only point out everything I’m not.