17. Bailey
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Bailey
PAST
I’m lying on the roof, listening to the waves as I try to find the constellations I know from memory.
I had my first therapy session today, and not going wasn’t an option. The therapist tried for twenty minutes to get me to talk, but I refused. My parents can make me go, but they can’t force me to speak while I’m there.
We spent the rest of the session sitting in silence. The quiet is deafening, but I wonder if my parents gave the therapist a heads up that my stubbornness is stronger than being uncomfortable.
It’s been three days since I’ve spoken to anyone, and I can tell it’s driving Hunter and my parents up the wall.
They even gave my phone back today, probably hoping it would get me to say something, but I’ve refused.
I feel like a fool for hoping my parents will admit the truth about their past, but I just don’t understand how Dad could have abandoned Carter?
What’s to stop them from cutting me out of their lives?
I feel like I’ve lost control of everything in my life, and I don’t know how to get it back.
There’s a breeze coming off the water, and it’s the most at peace I’ve felt in a while. My phone vibrating in my pocket interrupts the moment, and I’m wondering who the hell would be calling me in the middle of the night?
My heart skips a beat at the sight of Kaitlyn’s name on my screen. I saw her messages earlier, but I couldn’t bring myself to respond yet.
“What are you doing awake?” I ask, my voice a little hoarse.
“What are you doing awake?”
I roll my eyes, sitting up. “I asked you first.”
“I’m happy to hear your voice,” she says, and I swallow the lump forming in my throat from her raw honesty. “Hunter said you weren’t talking to anyone.”
I take my time choosing my next words before saying them. “I’m speaking to you.”
“I hope so. I didn’t think we both had the ability to speak telepathically.” Kait chuckles, and a smile tugs at the corners of my mouth.
God, I am so crazy for this girl. “That’d be pretty cool,” I reply, wishing more than anything she were next to me.
“I’m pretty sure we tried to see if we could when we were kids,” she says, and I think I remember something along those lines. “Should I be worried you’re on the roof?”
“How do you know I’m on the roof?” I ask, looking around, causing Kaitlyn to gasp.
“Dumbass, don’t fall off,” she scolds after I peek over the edge, finally spotting her standing below on the deck.
“What are you doing here?”
She waves at me, and I wave back. “Couldn’t sleep, so I snuck out to go for a drive. Somehow, I ended up here, and I thought I’d walk down to the beach. I called to see if you were awake, but then I saw you up there.”
“And if your dad wakes up and realizes you’re not home?”
Chris, her dad, has a habit of being overprotective of Kaitlyn. She’s a free spirit like her mom, though, and definitely likes to push the boundaries.
“That’s a problem for later Kaitlyn. Are you coming down, or am I coming up?”
“I’ll come down,” I say, being careful not to fall as I make my way to the window.
I’ve learned where all the creaks in the stairs are, but I’m surprised everyone is asleep tonight.
My family has a tendency to be the lightest sleepers in the whole world, and they’re often awake at all hours of the night.
Kait is leaning against the railing on the deck with her arms crossed over her chest. “Took you long enough,” she teases, giving me a once over.
“My bad. Next time, I’ll make it snappy and jump off the roof.”
She covers her mouth to hide her laugh, and I move closer, drawn to her like a magnet. “ Bailey. ”
My heart flutters, and I want to ask her to say my name again. It’s like Kaitlyn has a superpower that makes me feel like everything isn’t falling apart around me.
I like this far better than the look of disappointment she gave me when Henry pulled me out of their parents’ home.
“I’m surprised you called me instead of Hunter,” I say, and Kaitlyn frowns, tilting her head.
“Why are you surprised?”
“I-I just thought he would’ve been your first call,” I admit, leaning against the railing next to her.
They’ve gotten a lot closer since she joined the cheerleading squad, and I’m glad she’s found something that makes her happy.
I’m glad she has Hunt too, but it hasn’t stopped me from feeling a little left out.
I have no one to blame but myself for putting distance between us.
“I don’t know why you’d think that, but it’s not true,” she says, knocking my arm with hers. My breathing hitches at the contact, and Kaitlyn slides her hand into mine. “Come with me.”
I let her pull me down the stairs toward the beach, following wordlessly. Truth is, I would follow her anywhere.
“We’re going swimming,” Kaitlyn says, letting go of my hand to strip out of her shorts and sweatshirt, leaving her in a sports bra and underwear.
Her dark hair is unbound and falling down her back as she runs into the waves. I can’t help but stare at her for a moment, utterly entranced by how full of life she is.
“Are you coming?” she calls, and I can’t get my clothes off fast enough to follow her into the water, wearing only my boxers. The ocean is warmer than the air, causing goosebumps to pebble across my exposed skin.
Thankfully, it’s a full moon tonight, giving me just enough light to see her pretty face. I chuckle when she sticks her tongue out at me.
I wade further into the water, feeling some resistance from the waves rolling in. From behind me, Kaitlyn splashes water on my back, laughing when I jump in surprise. “Don’t be a scaredy cat, Walker,” she teases, and I roll my eyes.
“I’m not scared.”
She splashes me again as the waves lap at my legs, and I kick water at her in return. Kaitlyn shrieks, trying to block the water with her hands, but instead trips over her own feet. I laugh when she falls into the water, my face feeling like it’s being split in half from how wide my smile is.
“Price, it seems like you’re the one afraid of getting wet,” I joke after she surfaces, wiping her hair out of her face.
“You’re so going down,” she says, just before launching herself at me, knocking us both into the warm water.
My arms immediately wrap around her, preventing Kaitlyn from escaping me now that I have her. I pull us up out of the water, sputtering since she caught me off guard. She wipes the saltwater from her eyes before grinning at me.
“That was mean,” I choke out, turning my head away to cough as Kaitlyn’s body shakes against mine with silent laughter.
“What are you going to do about it?” Kaitlyn taunts, and I can feel my heart rate increase rapidly in my chest. I’m positive she can feel it.
“What do you want me to do?”
She pulls her lower lip into her mouth, her breathing hitching as if realizing how close we are.
Still, she doesn’t pull away, and my hand shakes with nerves as I lift it to wipe away the trail of water left on Kaitlyn’s cheek.
Her dark eyes quickly dart between my eyes and mouth as she tips her head up toward me.
I know exactly what I’m going to do about it.
I’m going to cross the line in the sand.
Lowering my head to graze my lips over hers, I’m terrified if I move too suddenly, I’ll scare her away. Kaitlyn stills against me, and our breath mingles in the space between us.
Oh my god. I read the signals wrong. She doesn’t feel this way about me. I’m just her best friend, and now I’ve taken things way too far.
I’m about to back away, praying this is a nightmare gone horribly wrong as my stomach drops to my feet. Except I know it’s not when Kaitlyn’s arms lift to pull me closer, and her warm lips press against mine again.
It’s an electric feeling, shocking me to my core.
I move my lips against hers, our noses bumping with inexperience. I have no idea if I’m doing any of this right. The only actual experience I have is with a girl who kissed me at Homecoming last year. I’ve never been interested in any girl other than Kaitlyn, but I’ve never tried very hard.
We break apart a few moments later, and I rest my forehead against hers, trying to calm the racing thoughts in my head. “Was that okay?” I ask, nervous I might’ve fucked everything up.
She kissed you back. It wasn’t one-sided.
“Perfect,” Kaitlyn whispers, and I like that she’s tall enough to kiss the corner of my mouth, the sweetness taking me by surprise. She shivers, and I relish the feeling of holding her. I’m also terrified to move my hands in case I do the wrong thing.
“Are you cold?” I ask, opening my eyes to look at Kait just before she nods, dropping her head against my chest.
“Yeah, I’m sorry.”
I hope this isn’t the last time I get to hold her.
Letting go feels wrong, but I don’t want Kaitlyn to get sick from the chill in the air. I have so many questions to ask, but I don’t even know where to start.
My teeth chatter as I follow her out of the water. I cross my arms over my chest, trying not to stare while Kait gets dressed.
Kaitlyn shivers, wringing out her hair, and I wish I’d thought to grab towels before coming down here with her.
I shake the sand off my sweatshirt, doing the best I can before offering it to her. I’ve never been more grateful for the cover of darkness so she can’t see how red my face is. “Here. This will keep you warm.”
“I’ll be okay. I don’t want you to get cold,” Kait tries to protest, and I continue to hold it out.
“Please, take it.”
Her dark eyes glitter as she accepts it, tugging the sweatshirt over her head. A funny, warm feeling spreads through my chest seeing Kaitlyn wear my old soccer sweatshirt, and I wish I knew what was going through her mind right now. I think I’d give anything to know.
“Thank you,” she says, smiling at me. “It’s getting pretty late. I should go home and at least try to get some sleep before school.”
Right. There’s school tomorrow. I nod, dragging my hand through my short hair. “Thanks for calling.”
“Thanks for answering. I know you don’t want to talk about whatever is going on, but when you’re ready for eventually . . . I’m here to listen.”
We make our way to the front of the house where her car sits in the driveway, and I don’t want Kait to leave, even if I know she has to.
At the absolute last second, in a moment of panic that all of this will disappear by morning, I pull her back into my arms. Kaitlyn smells like the ocean, and her arms are quick to wind around me.
I can feel her fingertips pressing into the fabric of my shirt, forever leaving an imprint on me.
“You’re my favorite person,” I whisper, slow to let her go.
“Goodnight, Bailey,” she says, leaning up to kiss my cheek.
For the first time since meeting Carter and discovering the truth about my family, I feel a spark of hope.