46. Bailey #2
Kiera laughs, still twisting her hands. “And the house, the dog. It was the same life he planned to share with her, but the only thing missing was Thalia. I’m not proud of the decision I made afterward by cheating on him with a classmate from study group.
I convinced myself it was one mistake. It didn’t mean I wasn’t in love with Sebastian.
I was hurt, and I think I just wanted to hurt him back.
I know how wrong it was, but I thought everything would be fine until I learned I was pregnant, and I knew it wasn’t Sebastian’s.
I came clean with him, and he ended things.
I wish I could say it surprised me how quickly he ran back to Thalia, but I wasn’t.
” Kiera pauses, taking a sip of water. I note that her hand is shaking.
She sells a good story. “I love my son, and I married a wonderful man who raised him as his own, alongside our other two children. We were having a conversation one night about Carter’s biological father, and I didn’t know he overheard until later.
He’d jumped to several conclusions based on the information provided on the internet from articles back then, and the next thing I know, he’d brought Thalia and Sebastian’s youngest child home, going on and on about how he was Bailey’s brother. ”
“And you didn’t correct him? Why not?”
The camera angle switches to show only Kiera on the screen.
“Carter looked so excited, and if I’m being honest, Bailey seemed lost. He was quiet and reserved.
I felt bad for him. My son explained that Bailey had run away from home because things weren’t good with his parents.
I thought it would only be for a couple of days, and then I’d tell them the truth. ”
She’s lying. That’s not how it happened at all. Why the fuck is she doing this? Why now ?
“And you never reached out to his parents to tell them where he was?”
Kiera shakes her head. “I wanted to, but Bailey begged me not to. He wanted a place where he could fit in and be a part of a family that wanted him. So I said nothing with the hope he would eventually contact them.”
The best way to lie is to tell partial truths to prevent yourself from being caught. It makes it more believable.
“Months went by, and Bailey was happy there with us. My now ex-husband and I were going through a rough patch, and it affected all of them. He took it upon himself to tell Carter and Bailey they weren’t half brothers like they believed they were.
Carter told Bailey to go home, and I honestly believed he had—until I learned last week Bailey had instead chosen to live on the streets.
It breaks my heart that the sweet boy I knew would rather be homeless than go back to his parents’ house. ”
I miss the next question, my stomach rolling with waves of nausea because it’s not true. I didn’t come back because I didn’t know how to face them out of guilt . Besides, I know what’s coming next. It all depends on how much Lu told Carter, though.
“—roke my heart to find out Bailey was trading sexual favors with strangers who would either pay him or give him a place to sleep for the night. If he didn’t want to go home, he could have stayed with us.
I hate how I didn’t do more to keep him with us, but I’m proud of my daughter for being there for him when he reached out to her for help.
I don’t know if she felt like she owed him for how everything had turned out, but I’m so proud of my baby girl.
She did the best she could with his damaged soul?—”
A lone tear splatters on the screen of the phone, pausing the video I’m sure makes Kiera out to be a saint. I turn the phone off, setting it on the counter as I brace myself over the sink. The mirror is clouding with steam, hiding my reflection.
I wish I’d never responded to Carter, never met up with him, never let my heart fill with hate for my undeserving family.
The sound of my phone vibrating forces me to pull my head out of the what ifs. There’s nothing I can do to change any of it now.
JJ’s name is lit across the screen, and while I wish I could hide forever, I can’t.
Maybe he hasn’t seen it, and he’s just calling to check in? I forgot to call him back last night.
I move the phone up to my ear, trying not to cry again. “Hey,” I greet, but my attempt to sound normal is feeble.
“Are you okay?” JJ asks, erasing the glimmer of hope he hadn’t seen it yet.
Fuck, shit, fuck. “I can explain?—”
“I don’t give a shit about an explanation. Are you okay? ” he repeats, and I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to say. “Bailey?”
“No,” I answer honestly. I’m not okay. Who would be after having their trauma turned into a headline?
“Hunter and I aren’t going to be able to catch a flight back until the morning, but I promise we’ll be home as soon as we can.”
“Wait, JJ, you guys have classes and football. You don’t have to come back for . . . this .” I don’t want to disrupt anyone’s lives. I have never wanted that.
He makes an odd sound of disbelief. “You’re our little brother, B. Of course we’re coming home. I want to come home to be there for you.”
My voice fails me as JJ’s words sink into my brain.
“Thank you,” I say because there’s nothing else to say.
Hunter’s text comes through a moment later, and it’s an echo of the one I sent him the night he and Kaitlyn broke up.
Hunter
I’m sorry. Here if you need me.
I love you.
Another tear falls as I respond.
Bailey
I love you too.
There’s a knock on my bedroom door as I’m getting dressed, and I finish tugging my shirt down. I think my parents asked Mirabelle to take Javi out for ice cream to distract him so we can talk, but I’m stalling.
I’m not ready, but the least I can do is give them the truth.
Kaitlyn pokes her head in the door, and all I can hear is the quiet gasp when she read the article.
“Can I come in?” she asks, and I nod, trying to figure out if I’m ready for this to be over.
I’ve known all along it might be borrowed time, but I regret none of it. I hope Kait doesn’t either.
“I’m so sorry, Bailey,” she whispers, and I close my eyes, moving to sit on the edge of my bed.
“It’s okay. You don’t need to be sorry. I understand,” I say, feeling the mattress dip as she sits next to me. “Just get it over with, please,” I whisper, trying to accept that I’ll never be whole again.
“Bailey, I don’t want to break up with you,” she says gently. “I wanted to ask what you need from me?”
She still wants to be with me?
I open my eyes to look at Kaitlyn, trying to decide if I heard her right. “You’re not breaking up with me?”
She shakes her head, reaching to squeeze my hand.
“That’s the last thing I want, but it’s also about what you want.
All I care about is that you’re happy even if it’s not with me.
” Her smile is heartbreaking, and I hate seeing her eyes swollen from crying.
“For the record, I do want to be with you.”
“I don’t know why,” I say, each word feeling like I’ve swallowed shards of glass. “I . . . hate what I did. I feel like I’ll never get the ghost of their touch off me. I wasn’t a real person, just something for them to use.”
I know I did it to survive, but that doesn’t make it any easier to remember. Everyone does what they have to, and I’d never judge anyone for it, but it doesn’t mean I don’t feel shame for my choices.
“Bailey, you’re real to me. It doesn’t change anything for me because you did what you had to do to survive.
I don’t want you to think for a second that you’re alone in this because you’re not.
” She takes a deep breath, reaching to tug at her necklaces.
“I’m not saying this because of what happened, but I think you need to hear it.
I’m in love with you, and I hope you believe me. ”
“Every moment with you was real, Kaitlyn. I meant it when I said you’re the only person I’ve ever wanted,” I say, hearing my voice crack because now she knows exactly what it means. “I’m in love with you too.”
She lifts our intertwined hands, pressing a kiss to the back of mine. “I can stay with you while you talk to your parents, or I can go. Just tell me what you need so I can give it to you, but there’s no pressure either way.”
“Will you stay?” I ask, and she nods, standing up.
“Whatever you need.”
I lean down to kiss her, clinging to the feeling as I find the courage to face my parents. “Thank you,” I whisper, feeling a little better knowing my scars aren’t going to cost me the woman I love.
It sounds like my parents are on the phone with their attorney when I walk into the living room. Luna is sitting in the same spot she was when I left to hide upstairs, and it’s weird to see them in the same room together.
Honestly, it sounds like a bad joke. I wish all of this was a joke.
Kaitlyn’s grip on my hand is unwavering, and it means everything to me knowing she’s here.
“Bash,” Mom says, getting Dad’s attention, and he hangs the phone up immediately to face me.
He opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know where to start, and I honestly still don’t, but I’ll tell you everything,” I blurt out, and I wonder if he’s regretting anything he said when we spoke last week.
Maybe this will be the final straw for him, and he’ll realize I’m too damaged to love.
“Wait, let me say something first,” he says, taking a seat next to Mom. “We love you. I love you. None of this will change that,” Dad clarifies, as if somehow reading my mind.
Luna gives me a reassuring smile, and I take a deep breath, tapping my fingers against my knee.