Chapter 23
TWENTY-THREE
SOFEE
You must have a death wish. My internal voice tsks as I gaze up at the imposing force towering above me. I ignore the infernal voice until it eventually retreats from my mind. Death wish or no, I’ve wanted this for so long that I refuse to let anyone spoil it for me, even if that someone is a part of my own psyche.
Declan hovers above me, unmoving but somehow still writhing with restless energy that I can see thrashing under his skin. His dark violet eyes burn into me as I sink in front of him and settle my knees against the hardwood floor below our feet. The solid surface bites me in the most delicious way as I sit back on my heels.
I can only imagine what I look like at this moment. I didn’t bother to replace my clothing before I knelt for him. My breasts are still on full display with my white tank top bunched up above them. My scrub pants are pulled tight against my upper thighs as they’re stretched across the sensitive flesh below my ass. I can feel how wet I am as I spread my thighs apart as well as I can.
Lust clouds my vision as I take in the masculine perfection above me. His eyes are ablaze once more as he stares into mine. The instant I lick my parched lips is when his eyes cease devouring my fucking soul as the movement draws his attention. He’s fully clothed, yet I can still see the way his muscles fight against him. Twitching and flexing against his will as if he’s denying himself the pleasure I’m literally on my knees to offer him.
“Ruin me,” I say softly and watch as his eyes close at the sound of my words, as if he’s fighting with something inside himself that refuses to take my words for what they are.
Timidly, I reach my hands up and lay them to rest on his thighs. His eyes remain closed as I rub my palms against him. Up my hands travel until I’m close to the bulge that strains behind his zipper. Without my normal hesitation, I press my flattened palm against his hardened length through the confining denim.
I brazenly rub him through the fabric that separates our skin, causing his brows to furrow and his mouth to drop open on a breath. His knees buckle in front of me as if my touch is gradually weakening his resolve.
My fingers find the button on his jeans, and I quickly pull it loose. They sag on his hips now as I unzip them with more control than I knew I possessed. The tanned, tattooed flesh of his lower belly peeks out before his coarse hair replaces the dark ink. Down the zipper goes as my mouth fills with so much saliva that I'm forced to swallow before I choke on it.
My heartbeat becomes erratic as the top of his thick cock becomes visible to my ravenous gaze. It takes everything in me to keep a steady hand as I reach in and grip him. A sharp hiss escapes from behind his parted lips as he fills my hand and then some. He’s so thick, I have no hope of making my fingers meet as I grasp him completely.
I’m so focused on what I’m doing that I don’t even realize he’s moving until I feel his fingers threading into my hair. Electricity crackles over my scalp as he digs in and pulls my hair with a rough jerk, forcing me to look up at him. His dark eyes are open once more as he bores into me with an intensity that rivals the power of the sun.
“Say it again,” he growls. I don’t hesitate or mince my words as I match his intense gaze.
“Ruin me, Declan,” I say without a tremor of regret shadowing my words. My chest warms and expands as I utter them as if they were declarations of love and not pleas for devastation.
His hand tightens further until hot tears prick my eyes. On instinct, I abandon my mission of pulling him from his jeans in favor of gripping his wrist. I gnash my teeth together as my hands wrap around his forearm like a vise to stop him from pulling any tighter. I dig my nails into him until I can feel his tendons popping against the pads of my fingers. Still, he pulls my hair until the follicles are screaming for reprieve and I’m whimpering. But even so, my pussy throbs with need.
“You’re going to regret this,” he promises. My nipples tighten into painful peaks as fresh arousal coats my inner thighs as he pulls me up. I’m forced to rise onto my knees as he bends to meet me halfway. “This road you want to travel with me is corrupt and vile. Decadently depraved and painfully perverse. I will make you question every righteous moral that has been instilled in you since the moment you first opened your eyes,” he threatens as his free hand finds my jaw and squeezes. His hooded gaze locks onto my lips. “I’m going to break you,” he promises as his thumb pulls down my lower lip.
His threats have my blood singing in my veins and hot tears gathering on top of my lashes before plummeting down my cheeks. His eyes follow the tears until they flow down and land heavily against my exposed breasts. His jaw feathers harshly before his lust-widened pupils meet my watery gaze again.
“And I am going to revel in every single moment of it,” he admits as he leans down the rest of the way until his lips finally meet mine. He crashes into me, forcing my lips apart as his tongue surges inside. I moan into his mouth as my own dances with his. Our kiss is intense, a wild battle of biting and sucking, pushing and pulling, in a war in which we'll both emerge victorious.
And when he finally releases me from his all-consuming lips, I suck in a harsh breath and move my hands away from his wrists. I no longer care if he rips my hair straight from my head with his ruthless grip. All I care about now is freeing him completely and getting him past my lips.
His jaw tightens as I pull the loosened denim past his muscular hips. He’s so close to my face now that I can’t see the moment his heavy cock springs free, but I note the flare in his eyes as my fingers find him again. His mouth falls open on a breath as I wrap my hand around him and squeeze.
When he finally stands back to his full height and loosens his grip on my hair, I get my first real look at the monster in my palm. I only ever got to feel how thick and long he was the last time. Now, coming face to face with his impressive size, a spike of fear trickles into my blood as I swallow nervously.
He fills my hand and then some. His bulbous head weeps with precum as I hold him with a firm grip. The veins along his shaft bulge impossibly thick. My mouth waters as I reconsider my current position. It will be a fight to take all of him, but I’m determined to win the battle. He chuckles above me, drawing my attention up to his grinning lips.
“What now, little Brat?” he asks. His hand is still threaded in my hair as he uses his free hand to push mine away as he grips his cock. He strokes himself from root to tip, smearing his precum down his thick shaft. “Did you bite off more than you could chew?”
Heat stains my cheeks at his accusation. He holds me still before slapping the head of his dick against my chin. I gasp as my pussy clenches, silently begging to be filled as he pulls me closer.
“Open,” he grits out from behind clenched teeth. Without hesitation, I open my mouth as if I’m waiting for a sweet treat. “Wider,” he groans, the sound shooting straight to my sex as I do as he demands. I spread my lips apart until my mouth is as wide open as possible. “Stick your tongue out like a good little slut who wants to swallow this cock,” he crudely demands.
My breath leaves me in sharp puffs as I allow my tongue to fall from behind my lips. I feel a hunger forming deep in my gut as more precum leaks from his weeping tip. He holds me still and stares down at me as if he’s memorizing how I look in this moment. Nearly naked, mouth wide open and salivating, desperate to taste him for the first time. I squeeze my thighs together tightly as my patience wanes.
“See, I knew you were a good girl,” he praises, and I have to bite back my whimper. My center is throbbing so intensely as he edges me with his words. “Like my own personal pornstar, drooling with your tongue out, waiting for me to fill you up,”
“Please, Declan,” I quickly beg before resuming my wanton position.
As if hearing the urgency in my words, he firmly grasps his cock in one hand and guides my mouth toward him. My eyes roll back as my tongue finally tastes him for the first time. His hips thrust, and a deep rumble emanates from his chest as I lick him, lapping up his salty precum.
As soon as I close my lips around him, it seems that every bit of self-control he had left vanishes as he pulls me roughly onto his cock. I suck hard as he forces himself inside.
“ Fuck ,” he groans, and pride surges through my body, urging me on. I’m stretched to my limit, and I can already feel the strain causing a burning sensation in the creases of my lips. But still, I continue to lick and suck him, needing to make him just as wild as he makes me.
“ Shit , this isn’t going to last. You feel too fucking good,” he groans as his other hand burrows into my hair. He holds me firmly as I brace myself against his denim-clad thighs. I meet his stare again with a mouth full of his cock as he speaks again. “You better hold on, Brat. I’m going to fuck your face so hard you’ll never forget the taste of me.”
He growls a low warning before pushing me back until I’m forced to lean against the vanity behind me. He gathers my hair away from my face as he holds me still. I can feel my drool already gathering along my tongue as he remains still in my mouth before slowly pulling away.
Without any warning, he thrusts into my mouth with one long push. Tears spring to my eyes again as I gag around him. He finds the soft spot at the back of my throat and pushes further still. I try to relax and focus on my breathing, but his attack is making it impossible to catch my breath as he fucks my throat. Despite the deprivation of oxygen, I suck as if my life depends on it. And soon, I’m wrapping my hands around his thighs, pulling him closer as the taste of him intoxicatingly coats my tongue.
I moan around him as he fucks my face with abandon. My tears are falling in droves from my eyes as I choke on him. But his grumbled groans and sharp hisses of breath urge me on until all I can think about is savoring his release on my tongue.
“That’s my good little fuck toy,” he praises as my erotic slurping fills the small bathroom, my gurgles urging him on. “Swallow this goddamn cock. I want to hear you choking on me like the filthy cum slut you are.” He pairs his words with a quick slap against my cheek before holding himself deep in my throat for a long moment. Choking me and depriving me of air for his perverse pleasure. He groans at the sounds of my struggle before finally pulling out, a trail of my drool stringing from his bulbous head as I gasp. I hold his dark gaze in mine as I stick my tongue out for him again, silently begging for more.
Moaning as he smiles and burrows back in, I become a living, breathing flame of desire. My pussy aches so sharply that I can't resist the urge to let my fingers delve into my slick folds. I find myself absolutely drenched as my fingertips reach my throbbing clit and I nearly lose all composure as I trace circles around the pulsating nerve. I’m already on the cusp of an earth-shattering climax as he continues to pump past my tender lips.
Soon, he loses all rhythm as the beast within him takes over. Drool leaks from around his cock as he fucks me ruthlessly, making a complete mess of me. I can feel him swell impossibly hard before he withdraws from my mouth with a harsh jerk.
I keep my mouth open and tongue past my lips as his first hot jet of cum shoots onto my breasts. My gaze remains locked on his face contorted in agonizing pleasure as he keeps hold of my hair and grips himself. He jacks himself roughly, his release spewing out in drowning waves. I whimper as he paints my tongue and chin with his release, his salty taste ingraining itself on my tastebuds.
His jaw slackens as his release subsides, and his dark eyes meet mine again. I stay in position as he stoops to meet me. His hand leaves my hair before lowering to my cheeks. He squeezes my jaw, pursing my cum-covered lips.
“Such a pretty mess for me, La Mia Alba . Hair in tangles, mascara dripping down your cheeks, my cum covering your lips and tits,” he murmurs before his thumb rubs against my lips, gathering his release before pushing it into my mouth. My eyes flutter shut as I suck, licking away his intoxicating essence. “And you have never looked more fucking beautiful.”
My eyes fly open again at his proclamation and meet his gaze. His features are more relaxed than I have ever seen them. His eyes, normally furrowed in frustration toward me, now hold a softness so at odds with the man I’ve come to know. His lips, normally pulled into a sneer, now lax as he memorizes the mess he’s made of me. For the first time ever, he looks at peace. A sense of pride fills my chest like never before at the knowledge that I’m the one who put that look there.
I nibble his thumb, wanting to keep him inside as he starts to pull it away from me. But before I have a chance to miss the digit, he pulls me toward him and stands up. I wrap my arms and legs around him as he lifts me off the floor. His lips find mine, and soon he’s devouring me again. He laps at me as he steps out of the small bathroom. Arousal floods my pussy anew at the thought of him tasting his own release still lingering on my lips.
I’m not sure how he still has anything left to give, but it seems he’s not even close to done with me as his cock hardens between us. His rigid length rubbing against my belly as he sets me on my feet on the pitiful pile of blankets he’s obviously been sleeping on. I keep my arms wrapped around him as he kisses me so thoroughly that it’s hard to catch my breath.
“How could you not see how desperate I am for you, La Mia Alba ,” he whispers against my lips. My breath leaves me in a rush as if someone has stolen all the air from the room. My heart threatens to beat right out of my chest as his gaze meets mine and he allows me to see everything he has hidden from me all these years. The mountainous guilt piled so neatly on top of his self-loathing. The all-consuming uncertainty muting his crippling desperation. I witness it all behind his violet irises.
When he looks at me like this, it makes me wonder why it took me this long to see what was always there. This whole time, this tortured man has been right in front of me, and I just couldn’t see past the cruel words of hate he hid behind. Was I truly too blind to see what was right in front of me all along? Or was I just too lost in my own hate to hear what he was really saying to me?
Either way, that blindness stops today. I will no longer see this man as someone who hates me, but rather as someone who needs me. Needs me to help him confront his demons and heal in a way he has never been allowed. He may believe that he will only bring ruin to me, but now I understand that I’m the one who will be ruining him. Or, at least, any version of himself he deems undeserving of love. Together, we will ensure that that version of himself is buried and gone forever.
“You have me now,” I whisper as I slide my hands from his shoulders up the sides of his neck. He clenches his eyes closed as my fingers dance along his skin until they come to rest against his jaw. I step up on my tiptoes and pull his lips down to mine. “And I’m not going anywhere.”
My lips graze against his as I speak. His arms wrap around my middle until our bodies are pressed together. He squeezes me tightly as if he fears I'll vanish if he lets go. I feel my heart crack wide open as his sorrow envelops us in a suffocating cloud. But when his lips finally meet mine, his grief transforms into something else entirely. Something frenzied, as his kisses grow just as desperate as mine, and we devour each other.
His hands roam up my torso until he’s cupping my breasts. I whimper into his mouth as he pinches and plays with my painfully aware nipples. Suddenly, he pulls away from me in a rush. His movements are jerky in his haste as he grips my tank top and rips it over my head.
“Strip,” he demands. He turns his back to me and walks over to the small kitchenette with purpose. His heavy boots thud against the hardwood floor as I hurriedly push my scrub pants the rest of the way down my legs and kick my shoes off clumsily. Soon, I’m standing completely nude as Declan faces me yet again, a coiled, bright orange extension cord dangling from his hand.
I swallow past the lump in my throat as he stalks closer to me. Stopping in front of me, he drops the extension cord before quickly removing the rest of his own clothing. Soon, nothing but tanned flesh and dark ink fill my vision as he stands proudly nude in front of me, his heavy length heavily jutting my way.
His dark gaze consumes me as I stand, presented to him like a lamb led to slaughter. Only this lamb is on the verge of begging for this particular execution.
“Turn,” he growls, and I gladly obey without a word of argument. “That’s my girl,” he murmurs as I hear him pick up his length of cord from the ground. His praise sends a giddy excitement through my body as he grabs my hands and brings them behind me. I’m forced to arch my back, jutting my breasts out as he binds my wrists together. My mouth falls open with a sharp inhale as I feel the cold cord wrap tightly around me.
It bites into me in the most deliciously painful way as he ties me up. The feel of it grazing up my back leaves gooseflesh in its wake before he wraps it around my throat. I gasp as it tightens, causing a hitch in my breath. All the while, I can feel his warmth radiating against my back and his cock bobbing against my ass.
With me tied up for his taking, he lightly runs his knuckles against the curve of my back. I shiver, but it has nothing to do with the temperature and everything to do with the lust pooling in my core. His fingers glide down my spine until he reaches my ass. He never slows his descent as they wander lower still. I open my legs in obvious yearning as he reaches down past the curve of my ass to find my drenched center. Tremors wrack my body as he slides his thick fingers through my slickness before dipping inside me.
They surge into me from behind, nearly driving me to my knees. If not for him grabbing the tight cord between my tied wrists and my throat, I would fall forward in a heap. As he grabs the cord, it pulls taut, cutting off the circulation to my brain as it tightens around my throat. Liquid fire floods my pussy as he curls his fingers inside me.
His groan rumbles at my back as he finger fucks me slowly. He leans forward, his lips parting against my ear. “If I didn’t know any better, I would say you like to be told what to do, Brat. This cunt is fucking dripping.”
My sex clenches around his fingers at his words. My lips tick up in a small grin that ends in a moan. “Only like this,” I gasp as he slides his fingers from my core. His chest lightly brushes against my back as he chuckles and then his warmth leaves me entirely.
“In that case,” he says as he moves from behind me. I shift my weight impatiently, nearing my breaking point. That is, until I see him at last as he lies on his back below my spread feet. His grin reminds me of the devil himself as his hands climb my legs until they reach my thighs. He squeezes me then, his grip biting into the fleshy part of me. “Sit,” he demands.
I hesitate while staring down at him. He doesn’t really want me to sit on him like this, does he? I swallow as much as the cord around my throat will allow as I stare down at him.
“What’s the problem, Brat?” he asks as he starts to pull me down to him. My voice is wobbly as I finally speak.
“You can’t be serious?” I ask, and at his blank stare, I continue. “Declan, I’m not some skinny little thing. I have thick thighs, an ass that jiggles, and a belly that pooches. Add all that, plus the fact that I can’t hold myself up while tied like this, and you have only one real outcome…” He sits up slightly while moving his hands up toward my tied hands above my ass. “I’ll suffocate you,” I say, my voice thick with desire.
“Then you can chisel ‘Asphyxiated by the best pussy he’s ever tasted’ on my fucking tombstone,” he growls as he grips the cord around my hands and pulls while simultaneously slapping my ass. The sharp pain lashes up my bowed spine before settling into my bones. “It wasn’t a request, so shut that smart ass mouth of yours and fucking sit,” he commands as he yanks the cord behind me.
My yelp of surprise is cut short as the cord tightens around my throat and pulls me down to him. I have no control over where I land as my legs are forced to bend unwillingly. He catches me though, and lays back down before fitting his lips snugly to my pussy.
I toss my head back with abandon as his groan of appreciation reverberates through my core. At the first hot swipe of his tongue against my clit, I’m utterly lost in oblivion. He wraps his arms around my thighs, holding me still as he eats his way to the center of my fucking soul.
I writhe above him, whimpering and moaning as my orgasm swells inside of me. I have no hope of stopping myself now as I buck and grind against his mouth, giving him all my weight as I seek my release. His skilled tongue drives me to the edge of madness before shoving me over into insanity as my climax completely wrecks my body.
I howl in ecstasy as I fuck his mouth, my hips gyrating on their own accord as I extend my pleasure. He swallows my release with eager sucks and licks, determined to keep me in this newfound realm of unimaginable pleasure. One orgasm rolls into the next until I become nothing more than a ball of flaming nerves. My skin feels too tight, my body too wound, cunt too empty. I need him inside me as desperately as I need my next breath.
“Please,” I wail as he holds me down on his lips, seeking another orgasm that I'm sure he can taste on the rise. “Please, fuck me!” I scream as my climax erupts in a fiery explosion that consumes me from the inside out. My vision fades, and my lungs ache for the breath that seems to have been stolen from them.
I vaguely feel myself moving as he grabs my hips and pulls me down his body. I have no other choice but to allow him to guide me as my arms are still tied behind my back. His grip is harsh as he lifts me until I’m hovering over his swollen cock. And without so much as a warning, he slams me down onto him, spearing me with his length.
The sudden intrusion causes a burning sensation deep in my pussy that melts away easily with my thick arousal. I clench my fists behind my back, digging my nails into my palms as he effortlessly lifts me up, only to pull me back down once more, using me as his own personal fuck toy.
“ Goddamn , your cunt is my new favorite addiction, La Mia Alba .” he groans and tosses his head back as he fills me up, stretching me beyond my limits. Still, I revel in the fullness that hurts so fucking good. His hips thrust up as he slams me down on himself over and over again. The fleshy slaps of his cock pounding into me fill the room around us, intertwining intricately with my wails of passion.
Blind desire takes over, and soon I’m riding him with vigor. My thigh muscles scream for a reprieve, but I’m too lost in my passion to give in. My breasts bounce as I spread my legs as wide as I can around his hips, grinding my clit against his pelvis. His big hands grip me harshly, leaving new bruises for me to discover later and remember what happened here.
Suddenly, he sits up and pulls me against his front, never hindering the rhythm I’ve found above him. His hand dips past my lower back until I feel his fingers sliding down the seam of my ass. My nerves flare hot and fire wildly as his middle finger finds my asshole. He holds me there, guiding my every move as I slide on and off his hot length. His free hand slides up my ribs until he’s cupping my breast in front of his face. The move forces me to look down at him, and I nearly lose all cognitive thought as I notice my arousal still coating the short hair on his chin.
“Come on my cock, Brat. Show me how much of a fucking slut you are for me, show me you belong with me,” he growls as his teeth find my nipple. He bites me ruthlessly as his finger slides smoothly into my asshole, and I erupt around him. I squirm above him as he holds me captive, his finger fucking my ass in time with his cock.
My vision goes dark as bliss finds me and completely consumes me. My muscles seize and tense of their own volition as the pleasure I’ve only felt with him wracks my body. And as if he were waiting for me to come undone for him, a deep rumble emits from his chest as he swells impossibly thick inside of me, and he finds his own release.
His eyes shine brightly as he opens himself fully, allowing me to witness the moment something fractures and falls apart in his soul. His grunted groan reverberates in my womb as his hot cum fills me to the brim. Our rapid breaths mingle between us before he pulls me forward and presses his forehead against mine.
Tremors wrack my body as his hold turns from relentless to tender in a split second. He holds my gaze with his as his fingers leave me and quickly unravel the cord around my wrists. Once it’s no longer holding my hands back from him, he moves to my throat. After finally releasing me, he tosses the cord aside and then grips the side of my face, twisting us. In an instant, he's on top of me, pressing my back against the soft blanket covering the floor, with his semi-hard length still deep inside me.
My sex clenches around him as his hands roam my body, silently worshiping me in a way I never knew him capable of. My soft whimper is lost as he finally presses his lips to mine.
His touches are tender as he pulls my thigh up and over his hips, settling his full weight between my legs. My heart threatens to crumble in my chest as his kisses transition from pleasure-seeking to needy in one breath.
“I need you so much, Sofee,” he whispers against me as he lavishes attention all over my body. His softly spoken words become a plea that echoes in my soul. My heart shatters for him as his violet eyes drink me in. I make myself focus on the way he’s looking down at me, memorizing every crack and chip in his armor so I’ll never forget this moment. The moment when he finally lets me see every damaged, bruised, shredded piece of his soul.
I now understand that he doesn’t need me in the biblical sense, even though his length is still buried in my depths. No, this desperation emanating from him in drowning waves is an entirely different type of fixation.
So, I don’t play dumb or shut myself off to him. I don’t push him away like I have everyone else in my life. Instead, I thread my fingers into his thick hair at the nape of his neck and pull his lips down to mine once more. And for the first time, I allow myself to trust him utterly and completely, and let him have all of me.