46. Astor
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
ASTOR
I roll over to see Alessia sitting up, her hair in a bun on top of her head. When I finally calmed myself enough to sleep, it was around 3:00 a.m. The guys and I planned on how we were going to help her get this piece of shit. There was no way I was losing my wife to that waste of fucking space.
“ Malyshka ?” I whisper, sitting up next to her. “What are you doing?”
“It was the Fourth of July…I left my door open for you.” My head spins as she tells me word for word what happened that day.
“He told me choosing you was wrong, that he was the better guy. That we fit better. I fought him, but he was stronger…I screamed. I knew you’d hear me.” She pauses and turns to me, her eyes dazed. It’s like she’s not here. Like she’s an empty tomb of herself.
“You almost killed him, but someone stopped you. Who stopped you?”
I sigh and run my hands through my hair.
“My father. He stopped me.”
“We were together, I was yours. And I forgot…I forgot you. I forgot us,” she whispers. “That’s what you meant, when you said you couldn’t lose me again...”
“Yes.”
“I’m…sorry,” she says in a rush. She rubs her eyes and throws the covers back before climbing out and heading to the bathroom. I hop up to follow, but she closes the door in my face. I slide down the door and wait there, my arms resting on my knees.
She remembers. She finally fucking remembers.
Alessia has been cold, absent. It’s like she doesn’t see me or doesn’t care to see me. She won’t let me touch her and she won’t talk to me. She’s been ignoring her parents’ phone calls for the last three days and ignoring everyone’s texts except for her girlfriends.
I thought the night she got her memories back she’d talk to me. She’d forgive me for not telling her. But the next day, she completely disappeared, spending the entire day at the hospital with Caroline. When she came home that night, she ignored me and went straight to bed. The next day she did the same thing; helped Caroline get settled, came home at 2:00 a.m., and went to sleep, again, as if I didn’t exist.
Well tonight, I’m pressing buttons. I don’t give a shit; she’s going to see me. She’s going to talk to me. And the only way I know how to do that is to get her mad.
So here I am, in the kitchen with Anna standing in front of me in a flimsy, red dress that displays her breasts on full effect. She leans over the counter, her hand out to touch me when the door opens.
Alessia steps in the door, her face stone. Anna yanks her hand back and quickly straightens, rounding the island to stand behind me. I cringe at how close she is and take a half step back.
Alessia stops and tilts her head at us, eyeing Anna. I expect her to lose her shit, I expect her to react. What I don’t expect is her rounding the island, pulling open the fridge, grabbing a water, and walking up the stairs as if she truly doesn’t care.
Fuck.
Anna perks up and turns to me, running her hand down my arm.
I snap.
I wrap my hand around her neck and drag her to the door. “Go home.”
“But Astor,” she pleads, confused.
I slam the door in her face, locking it and calling security.
“Get her the fuck off my property and never let her come back.”
I quickly fix myself a drink, hoping the amber liquid will do the trick.
It doesn’t.
I sling the glass across the island, watching the shards of glass spread everywhere.
I push my hands through my hair and count to ten, calming myself down.
“Alessia!” I bellow as I climb the stairs. When I push open the door, she’s in our bed with her phone in her hand. She looks up at me as I walk in.
I’m angry. Too fucking angry.
“Girlfriend gone already?” she asks, looking back down at her phone. I push my hands through my hair as I walk to her and yank her phone out of her hands. She stares at me, her face blank, but her eyes dark. I pull her up and throw her against the wall.
“I don’t have a girlfriend; I have a fucking wife . Stop this shit. Three days , Alessia. You haven’t talked to me in three goddamn days. Not a look, not even a fucking glance. I’ve been doing everything I can to find this asshole so you can do whatever you feel is needed. I could do that better if I knew we were ok. I could do it better if you communicated with me. If you’d answer my fucking texts and phone calls throughout the day.”
“I don’t want to talk to anyone.”
“I’m not anyone. I’m your fucking husband!” I slam my fist into the wall next to her and she watches my movements as I pace our bedroom floor. Only then do I see the bag that’s by the door. I stop when I see it and look at her. “You aren’t leaving.”
“Nope. You are,” she says, pushing her hair back. “I can’t think when I’m around you. I can’t process my feelings, my fucking emotions. I just found out I was raped and everyone around me hid it from me for six years. Including you! And you know what I thought about? How will that make Astor feel, how will Astor move on, how will Astor see me now that I know. It wasn’t about me. It wasn’t about getting revenge. It was about YOU!”
“ Malyshka …I’ll sleep in another room, but the chances of me leaving you in this house alone is slim to fucking none. Get that thought out of that gorgeous head of yours. And let me answer that for you: I lived it. I never forgot it. I pushed you away because I couldn’t stomach being around you knowing I didn’t get there in time. It was pure fucking torture being around you. I couldn’t deal with him still being alive. I couldn’t fucking deal with you not remembering us! I couldn’t fucking deal with it; I didn’t know how to! That fucking day replayed in my head every day for as long as I can remember. It made me hate that our relationship wasn’t strong enough for you to remember us, to remember me fighting for you that day. It’s always been about you.”
“Ast, I’m still angry with you. I’m sorry, but don’t rush me. I didn’t run from you, I didn’t leave you. I stayed when all I wanted to do was block everyone out.”
I walk up to her and she inhales as I run my thumb across her cheek. I lean down and kiss her forehead.
“I’m here, ok? I’m here. Be angry, just be angry and talk to me.”