Chapter 22 #2
(I think we have to eliminate this or change it to “Renley is semi-allowed to flirt with Theo” because, Gossy, you’ve been out of control. And I don’t mind the flirting, but only within reason. We have to keep it platonic.)
Because of this comment, I’m bringing rule number two down to two visitations. You know who’s been flirting—don’t try to turn this sideways.
Rule Number Three, Subsection a: No winking.
(Suggestion: strike this. Up to you though, sometimes it seems like you enjoy the wink. You might love it if I were able to do it more.)
The wink is not enjoyed. Rule number three, subsection a will remain.
Rule Number Four: Theo is not allowed to propose to Renley.
(Blek, gross. I don’t want to propose at all, but let’s keep this as a stark reminder of just how gross we both think it is. *Throws up*)
Could not agree more.
Rule Number Five: Renley is to teach Theo how to be a real boy.
(You stole my floor-vacuuming virginity last night. I hope that you continue to do the same thing.)
Will have to work such virginity stealing into your two visits a day. Choose wisely.
Rule Number Six: Renley is not allowed to date anyone during the summer.
(This should be rule number one in my opinion.)
Be happy I’m not striking this right here and now. I’ll only keep it because I have no intention of dating anyone so it’s a moot point.
Rule Number Seven: Theo is allowed to pursue Renley but can’t get mad when Renley ignores all advances and doesn’t even bat an eyelash when he makes his best move because she doesn’t have the time or mental capacity for a relationship or internet fiancé.
(Seemed like you had the mental capacity last night, but then again, maybe it was the homemade wine.)
It was the wine.
I hope these rules solve any problems you might have. Please note, I will be enforcing these even more because of the slipup last night.
No need to adjust. In my opinion, these rules are final. Have a good day.
Renley
Satisfied, I place the letter back in the envelope and then set it on my bed before heading into the bathroom for a shower. When I’m done, I’ll drop the envelope off in his mail slot and then head over to the shop, where I can do one more quick vacuum and then start staining.
With that plan in mind, I set out to have a good day.
I wipe my brow and check out the quarter of the room that I’ve stained, already excited by the deep, rich color. It’s going to look amazing when it’s all finished.
Needing a break, I walk over to the bar, where I hoist myself up and pick up my water bottle to take a sip. It’s going to look so good in here.
So freaking good.
I flip my phone over to see if Aunt Kitty tried to text me, but instead of seeing a message from her, I find a few messages from Theo.
This has got to be good.
Theo: So, weird thing, I just got an envelope in my mail slot from you on the rule changes and I don’t think you were the one who wrote it out because there was no compromise at all.
And whoever marked this up said you were not the one flirting.
I say we try to figure out who the impostor is and take them down. You in?
Theo: Okay, reviewing the handwriting more carefully and it does seem to match up with the original rules.
Then again, there has been a rampant case of handwriting pirates out there and I feel like that’s what happened here.
I saw an eyepatch in your front lawn yesterday and thought, that’s weird, but now I know what’s going on. Send an SOS if you need help.
Theo: Have not seen any bright beacons asking for help despite standing outside for a solid five minutes, hands on hips, blinding myself in the sun. Looking for any sort of communication from you and haven’t received anything, so that brings me back to the beginning of this. Was that writing yours?
Theo: Three texts show concern. Four texts is straight-up desperation. Don’t leave me on “delivered.” A man can’t take such a letdown. Ease my soul and tell me what the hell is going on. Am I allowed to flirt or not?
Chuckling, I decide to write back.
Renley: You know, people have jobs to do here. Not all of us can go on a summer holiday.
I almost set my phone down, but I immediately see that he read my message, so I wait to see what he texts back.
When his response comes in, my stomach does a flip of excitement, but I ignore the reaction because I can’t possibly examine the feeling. Not right now.
Not when I have more important things to focus on.
Theo: Is this really Renley? Or is this the handwriting pirate? Quick, tell me what I call you as a nickname.
Rolling my eyes, I text him back.
Renley: Gossy. Then again, that’s what you called me in your letter.
Theo: Shit, you’re right. Okay, last night, we stared up at the sky, looking for a shooting star. You found one. What did you name it?
Just to mess with him, I text him back with the wrong answer.
Renley: It was Vanica.
Theo: PIRATE! This is a pirate. Just you wait, I’m going to find out who you are and press charges. You will not get away with this.
Renley: You’re the most ridiculous man I’ve ever met.
The name was Horace and before that, we had chocolate-covered strawberries in the candy shop; you had two and I had four.
You also dumped a whole lot of cream in your mouth, and we shared a bottle of my aunt’s wine that encouraged me to make strange choices, like holding your hand.
Theo: *Calls off the authorities* Stolen identity is no joke.
Renley: Once again, so dramatic.
Theo: Well, now that I know it’s you, I have a few questions. What are you doing right now? Why did you skip our walk? And why did you limit my visitations? I’d think after the bond we shared last night, you would have chosen infinite. Explain yourself, Gossy.
Renley: Right now, I’m sitting on the bar of my shop, taking a break from staining.
I didn’t intentionally skip the walk, the wine forced me to stay in bed longer than expected.
And it was because of last night’s activities that I have to tighten up visitations.
We can’t be doing anything crazy like that again.
Theo: Crazy? That wasn’t crazy. That was amazing. I mean, amazing for you. For me it was just okay, you know? Ho-hum, just a regular old night, nothing too fancy.
Renley: What did we say about lying?
Theo: We said not to do it, but if you recall, it’s not in the rules, so…
Renley: Do you know what else isn’t in the rules? Our walk every day…
Theo: Oh no you don’t. That was agreed upon in a previous barter; the two don’t coincide.
Renley: Well, not lying is basic human decency.
Theo: Very true. How about this? I don’t lie, you give me infinite visitations and a walk tonight under the stars, and we call it even?
Renley: Nice try. Not happening.
Theo: You drive a hard bargain. Okay, I won’t lie, you give me infinite visitations, and I take you out to dinner, and then we go for a walk. Final offer.
Renley: Go find your friend and take him out to dinner.
With that, I set my phone down, a smirk on my face, and go back to staining.
I like pushing his buttons.