Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
THEO
“How do I look?” I ask, doing a spin for Rupert.
“In my eyes, like you’re not just rich, but rich with life.”
“That’s not a bad thing; I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“It’s meant to be one, but…mate, what are you doing? She hates the tassels on those shoes.”
I glance down at my loafers and then back up at Rupert. “They’re the only shoes I have that will work with the outfit.”
“Wear your trainers.”
“Have you lost your mind?” I ask, actually insulted at the suggestion. “You don’t wear trainers with an outfit like this.”
“But she hates the tassels.”
“She’ll have to learn to live with the tassels.”
“I don’t think she can learn to live with the tassels. They flop when you walk, and people don’t enjoy that.”
“People like tassels bopping around.”
“Maybe on breasts,” Rupert says with a smirk. “But on shoes, it’s scary.”
“How is a tassel on a shoe scary?”
He shrugs. “Could look like a snake.”
I scoff. “Jesus, you’re not helpful.” I look down at my loafers again and sigh. “What if I cut the tassels off?”
Rupert lights up. “Better yet, why don’t you let her cut the tassels off herself?”
“Hey.” I point at him. “Now you’re explaining your existence. Brilliant idea.”
He takes a bow. “Thank you, thank you. Let me grab you some scissors.”
“Thank you.” I move to the mirror in the hallway and adjust my shirt, making sure everything is in place. “Was Kitty able to convince her to go out with her and Tilly tonight?”
“She did. After a long day of staining, Renley seemed excited to have a relaxing evening.”
“Hope she stays excited when she finds out it’s me she’s spending the evening with.”
“Something tells me that she will be.” Rupert comes back into the room with a pair of scissors and hands them to me. “My suggestion: get down on one knee and offer up the scissors to her as an opening line.”
I nod. “Yes, splendid idea.” I pat him on the back. “See, I knew I brought you here for a reason. You’re not just a butler, you’re an idea man.”
“Never was a butler.”
“Okay. Keep telling yourself that.” I adjust myself one more time in the mirror and then turn to my friend. “Do I look like a man who can secretly win a woman over and convince her to marry him by the end of summer?”
Rupert kisses his fingers and says, “The pure definition of it.”
“Thank you.” I bow.
“You’re welcome.” He bows back.
“Shall we proceed?” I gesture to the door.
“I think we shall.”
Then, together, we head out the door and start walking toward town.
“So tell me what the plan is,” Rupert says.
“The plan is, Tilly and Aunt Kitty are supposed to meet her at the C-shell.”
“Is that the one that sits directly on the beach?”
“That’s the one. The tables are actually immersed in the sand. Kitty was saying that Renley loves going there but doesn’t go often because it’s expensive. Since that isn’t a problem for me, I asked her to set up a reservation under her name and I’d meet Renley there.”
“The perfect swap-a-roo plan,” Rupert says with a twirl of his finger.
“It is. Let’s just hope that Renley doesn’t despise me for doing it.”
“How can she when you look as dapper as you do?”
He has a point.
Thankfully, the sky is clear again tonight—not a cloud in sight—and the temperature is perfect to be comfortable outside in a T-shirt and shorts. And since she got a late start on staining, we’re closing in on sunset for dinner, so it might turn out to be an incredibly beautiful night.
When we hit the main street of town, we turn right and head toward the beach. “Good evening,” a store owner to the right says.
“Hello.” Rupert waves.
“How are you two fine gentlemen?”
“Great. Enjoying a promenade.”
“I see. And quite the romantic evening for that.”
Oh boy.
I see where this is going.
Smiling, I slip my arm through Rupert’s and say, “That it is.” Then, with a nod, we keep walking down the footpath toward the ocean.
“I can feel the pride you have, walking arm in arm with me. Should Renley be worried?” Rupert asks, mirth in his voice.
“No, you should. She’s the one taking me away from you.”
“The harlot,” he playfully seethes as I release my arm from his. He glances around and asks, “Does it seem weird that everyone is so nice to us? Every store we go in, the shop owners are sweet and helpful, and ready to assist us with anything we need. Didn’t Renley say the town was mean?”
“Yeah, she did. But think about it. They know her, they don’t know us. To them, we look like two rich arseholes walking around with tassels on our shoes.”
“Not for long,” Rupert says with a knowing smirk.
“Which means we might be treated the same way that Renley is treated after the old snip-snip.”
Rupert grips my shoulder as we reach the restaurant. “A risk I’m willing to take.” He glances around and whispers, “I don’t see her. Why don’t you sneak in and get into position?”
“Thanks for walking me.”
“What are butlers for?”
“Apparently escorting. What are you going to do now?”
“Hang out at the beach and creepily watch you two.”
The fuck?
“No, you’re not.”
He chuckles. “No, there is a sandwich I want to try down at that one shop. Word on the street is, it tastes like a Thanksgiving dinner. No idea what that means, but I’m here to find out.”
“Have fun with that.”
We say our goodbyes with a solid handshake and then I give the hostess Kitty’s name and ask if Renley has shown up yet.
When she says yes, my stomach twists in knots.
Oh shit, she is here.
The twisting of the stomach is a ridiculous reaction; then again, she’s been so hot and cold with me that I’m nervous she’ll just walk away when I come into view. Let’s hope that’s not the case.
The hostess points to the back table where she’s sitting, far away from the other diners, so I make my way through the restaurant, prepared for the worst but hoping for the best.
When I approach the table, I notice that she’s wearing a dress with skinny shoulder straps, showing off more skin than I know what to do with, temporarily short-circuiting my brain.
I take a moment to gather myself, but it doesn’t help; all it does is give my eyes more time to wander, to take in her slender neck and her unmarked skin.
Christ, what is happening to me?
I tell myself to shake it off, to remember what I’m supposed to be doing here, but all reasoning is washed from my brain, and for the life of me, I can’t remember the plan. All I can think about is that I’m about to have dinner with Renley, and if she gets up and leaves, I’ll be crushed.
Taking a deep breath, I make my way to the front of the table where she’s sipping on a glass of water. When she sets it down and her eyes meet mine, she says, “I knew it was going to be you.”
I gulp. “Really?”
“Yup, this evening had you written all over it.”
“Knowing that, you still showed up?”
“Yes, because I love their short rib and I’m going to make you pay for it, so I plan on enjoying a hearty meal after the work I put in today.”
Why do I love that so much?
“You know, I should be insulted, but I’ll take it.” Then I bend down on one knee and hide a laugh as panic crosses her eyes.
“What are you doing?” She looks over her shoulder, checking to see if anyone is paying attention, but we’re tucked away far enough out of sight that I doubt anyone can see what I’m doing.
“Renley Lynn Gossage—”
“We said no proposing.”
“Will you do me the honor…” I pull the scissors out of my pocket, causing her brow to furrow in confusion. “Of cutting the tassels off my shoes so they no longer disgust you?”
Her eyes fall to the scissors, then back to my shoes, and the smallest of smiles passes over her lips while her body language morphs from horrified to interested. “It would be my absolute pleasure.”
Glancing around, I say, “She said yes, folks.” I add a fist pump. “She said yes.”
“Stop that.” She playfully swats at my shoulder while chuckling. “Give me your loafers.”
I take a seat on the chair that’s next to hers so we’re sitting side by side, looking out toward the ocean.
I take off one shoe and hand it to her.
“Eww, stinky.”
How dare she.
“Shut the fuck up, they’re not stinky. I use deodorizers.”
She laughs. “My goodness, we are quite defensive, aren’t we?”
“If there is one thing I know I’m good at, it’s proper hygiene. I know how to clean all the crevices, I use creams, and I’m sure to never leave a bathroom without fully washing my hands. You’re welcome.”
“Have you been complimented on your hygiene? Because you can say you have good hygiene but that could be your opinion. Others’ opinions could differ.”
I hold up three fingers and say, “Not to brag, but on three separate occasions, three different women have said I have the cleanest undercarriage they’ve ever come across. If you want full access to confirm, I have no problem shedding my shorts and bending over for you to judge for yourself.”
“Dear God, what is wrong with you?”
“You brought it up.”
“Well, you didn’t have to go and say that.”
“Soo…I’m going to take that as a no on the undercarriage examination.”
“That’s a fuck no.” She chuckles and then, without a second thought, snips the tassel off my first shoe.
Jesus.
Just like that.
No regret, no “Are you sure?” Nothing.
Those shoes just lost their value. Maybe this was naive of me, but I didn’t think she’d go through with it.
“Here you go. Let me see the other one.”
Guess we have to make them a bald pair. I hand her the other shoe and she snips off the tassel, then hands it back to me along with the scissors and takes a sip of her water.
Sinister.
“Can you hand me the tassels?” I ask.
“Why?”
“So I can fashion them as covers for Rupert’s nips. It’s a whole thing; he likes a good tassel dance.”
“Really?” she asks, handing me the tassels.
I wiggle my brows. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
“You know, I wouldn’t put it past him. If he came out of the house and started hopping around the yard like a bunny with tassels on his nipples, I don’t think I’d even blink twice. I’d just nod my head and say, ‘Looks about right.’”