Chapter 24 #2
“Fuck,” he whispers, staring at me in awe.
It’s the only word I can think of as well, but I hold mine in, because oh my God, what have I just done?
He swallows thickly, releasing me from his hold. “Um…I’m…”
I shake my head. “Don’t apologize.”
Please don’t.
Because I don’t want an apology, not after experiencing something so out of body like that.
“I wasn’t going to apologize,” he says, lifting my chin so I’m no longer looking at the ground but rather into his beautifully unique eyes.
“What were you going to say?” I ask, just above a whisper so he can hear me over the waves.
“I was going to say, I’m never going to be able to top that kiss…ever.”
Then he tilts my chin back up and steals my breath again with a featherlike kiss, barely connecting with my lips before he steps back, picks up my sandals, and hands them to me.
Stunned and unsure where to go from here, I’m grateful when Theo does the leading by taking my hand in his and walking me toward the path that will lead to the main road, my mind racing the entire time as we both remain silent.
It’s a silence that speaks volumes.
A silence that says…what the hell are we going to do now?
Tilly: You know he’s not going to be happy that you went on your walk alone.
I’m power walking back toward the house after running into Tilly, who was on a walk as well, but she was on her way out while I was on my way in. She gave me a look when she noticed I was alone. A look that said it all.
Renley: I know. I just couldn’t face him.
Tilly: And why is that…
Renley: Long story short, we kissed last night and it was the best kiss of my entire life and I don’t know how to handle it, because he doesn’t know what he’s doing with his life and most likely is going back to London when he’s done messing around here, so…yeah.
Tilly: I’m going to bypass the girly squealing over the best kiss you’ve ever had, offer my congratulations, and say that seems like a lot and warrants a walk alone.
Renley: And this is why you’re my friend. You get me.
Tilly: More than you know. But be warned, you might have just lit the match. He’s going to come in with gas and you know it will only make things worse.
Renley: Something I’d rather face than going on a walk with him this morning.
Tilly: I’d have made the same move. Good luck.
I pocket my phone just as I round the corner to my street to see Aunt Kitty, Rupert, and Theo out in the front yard. Rupert is holding a stick between his legs, hopping up and down and spanking himself.
Theo is sitting in the kayak with a clipboard in hand and a pen.
Aunt Kitty is performing her dressage routine, decked out in her tracksuit jacket, a pair of magenta bike shorts, and matching leg warmers and sweatband.
Dear God in heaven.
Don’t they know it’s really early?
And that they’re in public?
What on earth are they doing?
Scratch that, I know what they’re doing. The question is, why are they doing it now?
Sucking it up, I walk toward the house just as Aunt Kitty starts to canter diagonally, shaking her head like she’s Alan from The Hangover. I don’t think I have the energy for this.
“Beautiful, Kitty, absolutely stunning. But point your toes a little more,” Rupert says.
Aunt Kitty responds and points her toes.
“Just like that. Perfect.” He takes his phone out and starts recording her. “Keep going, feel the horse. Be the horse.”
“I’m the horse,” Aunt Kitty says and then leans her head back and lets out a bellow of a sound. “Neigggggghhhhhhh.”
Oh weird, I think this is the wrong address. I don’t think this is where I live actually. I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere.
“Morning,” Theo says, his eyes on me as he leans back in the stupid blue kayak. “I see that you already went on your walk.”
Seeing that I don’t have a way out of this, I say, “Yes, needed to get an early start to the day.”
“I see that.” He stands up and holds an envelope close to him as he walks up to me. The circus behind him continues on as he lowers his voice and says, “This is for you.”
I stare at the envelope that he’s holding out to me.
“Is that what I think it is?”
“You’re going to have to see for yourself,” he says as I take it. “See you around, Renley.” Then he moves back toward his house, walks up the porch stairs, and disappears inside.
Why do I feel like not inviting him on the walk this morning is going to come back to bite me in the ass?
With envelope in hand, I walk past Rupert and Aunt Kitty, into the house, and then straight up to my room. I bypass the bathroom for a shower but rather take a seat on my floor and open the envelope, pulling out a letter from Theo.
Dear Gossy,
Skipped out on our walk again, huh? Guess what? I knew you were going to, that’s why I’m writing this tonight.
You’re probably freaking out, attempting to avoid me because of the kiss.
I get it, I’d want to avoid me as well. It’s not very often someone blows your sandals right off with just their lips.
And yes, I know you dropped them, but when I’m an eighty-year-old man, talking to what he thinks is his pet raccoon, I’ll be saying that my kiss was so great, so intense, that it blew your sandals clean off your feet.
And because of that, I thought I’d revise the rules for us.
*Ahem*
Rule Number One: Theo is not allowed to buy Renley and Kitty’s affection.
(We can keep this. I’m really not into the whole buying someone’s affection for me thing. I’d like to earn it.)
Could not agree more. Buying affection is off the table.
[Still very much on board with rule number one, although, I’m now thinking that possible kisses could be a transaction for affection.
You’re not allowed to make “no kissing” a rule because of this.
You have the final say whether I’m allowed to kiss you or not, because you know, your body, your choice, but I WILL NOT allow it to be a rule. ]
Rule Number Two: Theo is allotted five visitations with Renley each day.
(I propose we move this to infinite visitations because I can sense that you’re getting antsy not seeing me all the time.
I get it, I’m enigmatic and playful and tend to be the sunshine in someone’s day, so by all means, let’s make this infinite for you.
See how mindful I am, how demure? [Did you get that reference? Please say yes.])
Got the reference. And I believe it’s supposed to be demure, then mindful. That being said, I’m adjusting this to three visits now. Greedy people must be punished.
[Going back to infinite because, honestly, at this point, you’re going to want to see more of me after I blew your sandals off. And between you and me, there is so much more I can do with my mouth. Please keep that in mind when making future decisions. Thank you.]
Rule Number Three: Theo is not allowed to flirt with Renley.
(I think we have to eliminate this or change it to “Renley is semi-allowed to flirt with Theo” because, Gossy, you’ve been out of control. And I don’t mind the flirting, but only within reason. We have to keep it platonic.)
Because of this comment, I’m bringing rule number two down to two visitations. You know who’s been flirting—don’t try to turn this sideways.
[I will not be taking any more of your sass. Sorry, that ship has sailed. We are back to infinite visitations and I’m striking rule number three and making it “Theo is allowed to flirt with Renley any time he so pleases and she’s just going to have to deal with it.”]
Rule Number Three, Subsection a: No winking.
(Suggestion: strike this. Up to you though, sometimes it seems like you enjoy the wink. You might love it if I were able to do it more.)
The wink is not enjoyed. Rule number three, subsection a will remain.
[Lies. Winking is back on the table.]
Rule Number Four: Theo is not allowed to propose to Renley.
(Blek, gross. I don’t want to propose at all, but let’s keep this as a stark reminder of just how gross we both think it is. *Throws up*)
Could not agree more.
[I think we all know I was lying when I wrote the above. But we will just pretend that I wasn’t lying and keep this rule…for now.]
Rule Number Five: Renley is to teach Theo how to be a real boy.
(You stole my floor-vacuuming virginity last night. I hope that you continue to do the same thing.)
Will have to work such virginity stealing into your two visits a day. Choose wisely.
[I demand more stealing of virginity. I’ve been a virgin for a few weeks now. Please, by all means, take that as well. Also, for reference, it would be cool to paint something, maybe wallpaper, and can I learn about pipes? Not just your pipes, if you know what I mean, but real pipes?]
Rule Number Six: Renley is not allowed to date anyone during the summer.
(This should be rule number one in my opinion.)
Be happy I’m not striking this right here and now. I’ll only keep it because I have no intention of dating anyone so it’s a moot point.
[Not striking it out because I agree with this still. Should be rule number one.]
Rule Number Seven: Theo is allowed to pursue Renley but can’t get mad when Renley ignores all advances and doesn’t even bat an eyelash when he makes his best move because she doesn’t have the time or mental capacity for a relationship or internet fiancé.
(Seemed like you had the mental capacity last night, but then again, maybe it was the homemade wine.)
It was the wine.
[Gossy, it wasn’t the wine, because last night, when you kissed me back, you can’t blame that on anything other than pure, carnal attraction.
I felt how your hand slid up my chest. I felt how you gripped my neck.
I fucking melted when your tongue swiped at mine.
None of that was wine, stop deceiving yourself. ]
**ADDING RULES**
Rule Number Eight: Renley is no longer allowed to skip walks with Theo. She made a deal with him, shook on it, and I don’t care what happens the day prior, she’s legally required by palms touching to go on walks with him.
Rule Number Nine: Renley is required to text Theo back. Don’t leave him on read—that’s rude.
Okay, I think that about settles it. Take your time with your response, if you have one at all. I was thinking about going to the store today, but you know what, I believe Rupert and I are going on a small trip instead. I’ll be gone for a few days. Going to let absence make your heart grow fonder.
See you in a few, Gossy.
Your favorite British non-fiancé, Theodore
I stare down at his chicken scratch and I find it annoyingly endearing that he kept the original paper with all the rules on it, only added to it.
Doesn’t matter though. None of this matters.
I know what I want.
I know he doesn’t know what he wants.
And I know that at the end of the day, he makes me feel something that I’m not sure I’ve ever felt, and I’m not even remotely ready to process that, especially when he told me last night that he and Rupert like to mess around.
It’s too risky to even consider that little thought in my head. It’s best to push it aside. And that’s exactly what I decide to do.