Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
RENLEY
The shelves look so freaking good. After washing them down, sanding out some rough spots, and touching them up, I’m hugely impressed with how they’ve been able to hold their shape over the years.
That’s real wood for you.
I spent my morning mowing a few different lawns, power-washing some porches, and installing a new mailbox for Mrs. Freeman.
When I was done, I rushed over to the candy shop, where I finished up the shelves, and now that I’m lying here, in the middle of the store, staring up at them, the sun already set for the day, I oddly wish that… oh hell, no, I’m not going to say it.
I do not wish he was here.
I just…it would be nice to show someone what I’ve done and he’s been the most enthusiastic. That’s all. It’s not because I want his approval or anything. It’s only because he’s over the top and when you spend a long time renovating shelves, you kind of want someone to make a big deal about it.
Ding.
I glance at my phone and see his name appear with a text message. What timing. He must have known I was thinking about him. I swear he has mind-reading abilities.
I open up his text to see a picture of him and Rupert down by the harbor, both smiling brightly.
Instead of his boat shoes with the removed tassels, Theo is wearing his “trainers” he got with me and a pair of his walking shorts and shirt.
He’s also wearing a Boston Red Sox baseball cap, while Rupert is wearing a Red Sox shirt.
They’re offering thumbs-ups, looking like the tourists they are.
Theo: Gossy, you’ll never believe the day we had.
It started at this place called Dunkin’ Donuts.
Have you ever heard of it? I didn’t know coffee could come in the size of a barrel.
Incredible. Not that I’m a coffee drinker, as I have to stay true to the main line, tea, you know?
And we both had a Boston cream donut. Dare I say, when that cream squirted into my mouth… I thought of you.
Oh my God. I hate him so much.
But that doesn’t halt the smile that creeps onto my lips or the laugh that I stifle.
Theo: From there, we went to a baseball game at Fenway Park.
As you probably could have guessed, Rupert and I know nothing about the sport, but that didn’t stop us from screaming at the opposing team: YOU SUCK!
We really got into it because we were in a crowd of a bunch of burly, bearded men, drunk off their arses and it was just past one in the afternoon.
You should have seen these guys, full of insults that flew off their tongues without a second thought.
Because we wanted to fit in with them, I bought a hat and Rupert got a shirt.
Little did we know we were going to become die-hard Red Sox fans for life.
GO SOX! After the game, the burly, bearded men took us to a tattoo shop and that’s when things started to get out of hand.
We all got tattoos that bonded us together.
So now I’m the proud owner of an outline of a duck on my right butt cheek. Mine is fake, Rupert’s is 100% real.
Theo: After that, we all went down to the harbor where we had a moment of silence for all of the tea that was horrifically dumped in the 1700s.
It was touching, until Bert belched so loud that it scared a seagull, which in return shat all over Gregory, who then punched Bert.
And if you know anything about this beer-handling bunch, they’re quite rowdy, so it broke into an all-out brawl.
And love, I’ll be honest, you know me and my soft hands.
I don’t do fights. So we slipped behind some freight boxes and then bolted to our Uber, which brought us back to the hotel.
Rupert is taking another bath and I’m fresh from the shower, naked, and lying on my bed, talking to you. Want to video call? *Wiggles brows*
I shake my head, my smile taking over.
Renley: I absolutely DO NOT want to video call.
Theo: Missing out on the good stuff, Gossy.
Renley: I’ll survive. That’s quite the day you had though.
Theo: Didn’t even tell you the best part. I had a hot dog for the first time today. Love, have you ever tried one? It was magic. I had three. Rupert had four and threw up in the bathroom, then he grabbed another.
Renley: Why are you such children?
Theo: Would children be able to drink a beer at a Red Sox game while shouting, “The judge will NOT see you now!”
Renley: Why on earth would you say that?
Theo: Because there was some guy they were playing with that had the last name Judge. And it was a play on his name. Keep up, Gossy.
Renley: I thought you weren’t into sports.
Theo: I’m not, but I’m into the Red Sox. Are you? We should go to a game sometime. Have you ever been?
Renley: Never.
Theo: Consider it added to our list of things to do.
Renley: You have a list? What else is on it?
Theo: Well, I’d take you to the West Coast, because for someone who has seen the East Coast their entire life, they need to see the West. Also, I’d take you to England.
Obviously. Have to show you around. Then there are the smaller things like, go on a roller coaster together—because I need to hear your scream.
I want to take you to a strip club—because I want to see you blush.
And I wish to take you shopping because it’s vital to me to see you try on lingerie, for scientific purposes, although all of those things could be accomplished by, you know…
Renley: Never going to happen, Theodore.
Theo: That’s what you think.
Theo: What did you do today? Send me a picture, I want to see your pretty face.
Oof, my stomach bottoms out from reading that text. It shouldn’t. He shouldn’t have that kind of impact on me, and yet, here we are. My stomach is dancing with butterflies and the need to send him a picture rests heavy on my chest.
But I can’t go there.
Instead of sending him a picture of me, I send him a picture of the shelves.
Renley: Worked on the shelves. They’re all done now, sanded and stained. I’m so excited with how they came out. The candy is really going to pop on them.
He takes a second, but when he responds, my heart skips a beat.
Theo: Renley, holy shit, they look so good. Man, I wish I was there to see them in person. You must be so proud of yourself.
Smiling, I text him back.
Renley: I am proud. They came out better than I expected. That’s two big projects out of the way and now I can start on the bathroom.
Theo: Wait, I was going to help you with that. You can’t start until I get back.
Renley: When do you get back?
Theo: Monday. We have some sightseeing to do tomorrow and then we leave the next day. There’s got to be something you can do that doesn’t involve the bathroom.
Renley: I can help Aunt Kitty with the cleaning of the jars and canisters. She’s been grumbling about them and hasn’t really been around to take care of them.
Theo: You would really wait for me?
Renley: How else would I be able to help you become a real human?
Theo: You are so right. And here I thought you weren’t on board with the rules.
Renley: I’m fine with the rules.
Theo: All of them?
Renley: Sure.
Theo: Huh, maybe I was right, the heart grows fonder when I’m gone.
Renley: You’re not right. The rules don’t really matter since you leave at the end of the summer. Just have to get through it.
Theo: First of all, I don’t like that way of thinking. Second of all, I might just move here and get a job. What do you think about that?
Renley: I think you’re bluffing, because what kind of job would you get?
Theo: I heard of this sweets store that’s opening up. Seems promising and it will need a charismatic British fellow to bring those Willy Wonka vibes. I’m not much good at singing, but I can charm just about anyone into buying five pounds of sweets. You’re welcome in advance.
Renley: We’re not hiring.
Theo: I work for cheap, Gossy. Unlike you, I’m not opposed to being paid with sexual favors.
Renley: Of course you’re not.
Theo: Only from you though, no one else. I don’t need you hiring Henrietta down at the freaking gross candle store to flash me her tits.
Renley: What happened to you becoming a lord? And what would your butler do?
Theo: I’d make him get plastic surgery so he looks like me, then shoot him back to England to become the lord I don’t want to be, and I’ll live a quiet life, working for Rudder’s while getting paid with nipple tweaks.
Renley: Your mind is far too active. You need to calm down on the daydreams.
Theo: Never when they involve you.
Renley: Flirting.
Theo: Yeah, I am. And I didn’t forget that you didn’t send me a picture of you.
Renley: I’m sweaty.
Theo: Just the way I want you.
Renley: Oh my God, Theo.
Theo: A little louder for me, love. And give me eye contact when you say it.
Renley: Goodbye.