Chapter 5
Eden
Jenna drags me upstairs the second lunch is over.
We go to her room, which hasn’t changed very much from when she was a surly tween.
There are, however, more pop band posters stuck to her walls than before.
They hurt my eyes, to be honest. I said I would support her when she proclaimed her love for current music and cheerleading back when she was thirteen, but I’m regretting my promise now. She has terrible taste in music.
“So, this seems a little cloak and dagger.” I laugh as I fling myself onto her double bed. “Are you sure you’re not in trouble?”
“Not in the way you’re implying, no! I haven’t had sex yet, so there’s no way I’m pregnant.”
I’ll admit I feel better for her saying it out loud. I was just a little older than Jenna when I lost my virginity. Granted, barring immaculate conception, I was never at risk of gaining a bun in the oven.
“Alright then, care to spill? There’s another beer downstairs with my name on it.”
Jenna paces her room, which puts me on edge. What in the world could be wrong with her? Is she having second thoughts about college? Shit, is she going to tell me she wants to drop out of school?
“Jenna, seriously, what the fuck is wrong?”
“Sloane’s back!” she blurts, and my world shrinks.
There is a ringing in my ears as I try to process Jenna’s words. Sloane. Is. Back. My Sloane, the woman I’m still so deeply in love with it hurts to simply think her name. She’s back?
“Eden? Talk to me, you look like you’re about to vomit.”
“Back? She’s back?”
Jenna nods. “She came back last week.”
A lump forms in my throat. “Is she okay? Is she feeling better?” God, I hope she is.
The last time I saw her still haunts me.
Sloane looked a shadow of her former self, and it killed me, and I couldn’t do anything to help.
I think that’s why I walked away when she asked, because it was the only thing I could give her.
Jenna walks over and sits by my side. “She’s good.”
Scratching the back of my neck, I turn to my sister. “How do you know?”
As far as I’m aware, Jenna got ghosted like the rest of us.
Maybe she saw Sloane’s mum in the supermarket or something.
It’s something I’ve worried about every time I’ve ventured out of my apartment.
The Bishops are still a big deal around here, and I figured at some point I’d run into Sloane’s parents.
I watch Jenna take a steadying breath. “Okay, you might be angry at me once I tell you, but please remember I love you.”
“Jenna? What’s going on?”
“I’ve been in contact with Sloane for the past two years. I even visited her at Christmas.”
I’m on my feet before she even finishes her sentence. “I beg your pardon,” I snap. “Did you just tell me you’ve been in contact with Sloane this entire time?”
Jenna flushes and tears well in her eyes, but I’m too pissed to give a fuck.
I’ve agonised for years…that’s right, years plural over Sloane.
I accepted I wasn’t what she needed, but that never stopped me from worrying about her.
The nights I’ve sat up with Jenna crying are too many to count, and all this time she could have alleviated some of my worry with just a few words. Is she fucking serious?
“Eden, I know you’re mad at me…believe me I do! You’re my sister, and I know lying to you by omission is fucked up.”
“Yeah, I’ll say!” I shout. “Fuck, Jenna.”
I go to storm out of the room, but Jenna bolts in front of me, blocking my exit. “Please don’t leave. Let me explain.”
Carding my hands through my hair, I turn away from her because I’m about to cry. “You should have told me,” I sniff.
Jenna tugs on my arm until I face her again. “Please believe me, Eden, when I say I did it for you both.”
Shooting her an incredulous look, I snort. “Yeah, sure. How’d you figure that?”
She gestures for me to sit back on the bed, which I do because I’m pretty sure my legs might give out.
“It’s no secret I’ve had a bond with Sloane since you started going out with her.”
I nod, because it’s true. Sloane was the only one who could get through to Jenna as a teen and help her through some difficult feelings.
“She’s my best friend, Eden, and you are my sister. Not only that, but I also know in my heart you two are made for each other.”
I want to protest for some reason, maybe because it hurts to remember what I lost when Sloane asked me to leave. Jenna holds up a hand, halting anything I was about to say.
“When she asked you for a break, I knew she was in a bad way. Sloane loved you so much. The only thing that would’ve gotten her to break things off was something serious, like her mental health.
I saw her push people away because that’s what she thought they deserved.
To be away from her and her ‘issues,’” Jenna says, rolling her eyes.
“I wanted to help,” I say quietly.
Jenna scoots close to me and wraps an arm around my shoulders. “I know, which is why I tried to do it in your place. Sloane wasn’t going to let you help. She was terrified of everything, and in her own way she thought she was protecting you.”
“This isn’t about her.”
“No, it’s not. It’s about me hiding the fact I was still her friend from you.
The thing is, E, Sloane needed someone, and I figured I was the next best thing if you weren’t around.
I thought I could make sure she was okay and keep that connection between you two alive.
Because as much as I hate to say it, sis, we kinda look alike, so if Sloane saw you every time she looked at me, it meant you were never far from her mind. ”
“That is some wonky arse thinking, Jenna.”
“Is it? Think about it. She had the support she needed but also a way back to her friends…back to you! I knew when she felt better, she’d come back. Sloane just needed time, and professional help.”
“Did she get it?”
“Yes, she did. It was hard on her, but she fought and she’s winning.”
“And now she’s back.” I sigh.
“Yes, she is. She’s living in her parents’ pool house.”
“Does she know I’m here?”
Jenna nods. “I told her on the day she moved back.”
“Jesus bloody Christ.” I groan. Every part of me wants to run my arse right on over to the Bishops’ and see her, but there is a part of my heart that isn’t so happy she’s back.
The distance between us made it easier to cope with everything that happened.
Now I’m going to see her, and I’ve no idea what to do.
“Will you visit her?” Jenna asks.
Shaking my head, I look at the ceiling. “I can’t just yet, Jen. I need a little time to figure out what I’m feeling.”
“Um, Becca is with her now. That’s why she isn’t answering her phone.”
“Fuck me, Becca knew too?”
“No! No, she didn’t. Mrs B invited her over. She has no idea.”
“Jenna, this secrecy shit is bollocks. Can you just stop already? Is there anything else I need to know?”
“No, that’s everything. Do you hate me?”
Her voice breaks as she asks, and my heart cracks open. Turning, I haul her into my body. “I could never hate you. Well, I did for a while when you were thirteen, but not now.”
Poking me in the ribs, Jenna laughs. “I’m sorry, Eden. I hated keeping it from you. I just wanted to do what was best for the both of you.”
Sighing, I hold her tighter. “I get it…but…it stings, I can’t lie.”
She nods against my chest. “I knew it would. I wanted to tell you she was okay so many times, but Sloane trusted me to keep quiet. She…she needed me more than you did, Eden.”
“Yeah,” I sigh again, “I know.”
“What do you need?” Jenna asks, sitting up.
“No idea, Luce. No fucking idea.”
“Oh great, I’m back to being the Devil?”
“Nah, it just makes me feel better winding you up. Come on, let’s go back down before Mum barges in being a nosey parker.”
“God, you have no idea, Eden. I kind of wish you still lived here because at least then they left me alone. Mum’s always up in my business now.”
Snorting, I clap her on the back. “Tough tits, Jen. She’s all yours now. But at least you only have a few months left.”
“Eden, she’s threatened to camp over in my dorm room on moving day!”
Bursting out laughing, I head to the door. “You’re her baby. She’s totally going to be an empty nester.”
“God, will you talk to her? I cannot have my mum staying with me in college!”
“Jenna, she’s fucking with you…I think.”
Jenna grumbles all the way back downstairs and outside. Bella looks at her phone and looks at me with side eyes, making me laugh. I gather from her reaction Becca has finally messaged, and Bella’s now caught up with the situation. Bless her, she looks like she’s about to have a stroke.
Making my way over to her, I sit down. “I know. Jenna just told me.”
Air whooshes from her mouth. “Oh, thank fuck!”
“Everything okay?” Mum asks. She’s looking between me, Bella, and Jenna.
Clearing my throat, I sit a little taller. “Sloane is back in town.”
Fuck, it feels weird saying it and knowing it’s not just wishful thinking. Sloane Bishop is back, and my life is about to get infinitely more complicated.
Mum hands me another beer. “How do you feel about that, love?”
Mum and Dad have been wonderful over the breakup.
They never blamed Sloane, which shows the type of people they are.
Both Mum and Dad knew Sloane had struggled in the past with anxiety, so when I told them what happened the day I visited her at college, and she asked for a break, they were upset for me but understanding.
Before I can answer, Pia starts bawling.
The sudden noise makes us all jump, but Mum recovers first, scooping my best friend into a loving hug.
I can’t wait for that little rug rat to be born, because Pia’s hormones are fucking exhausting.
If Jenna being a teenage demon hadn’t permanently put me off kids, watching Pia’s pregnancy certainly has. Fucking nightmare!
Once she’s stopped snotting everywhere, Mum turns back to me. “So?”
“Surprised, scared, happy. You name it I’m feelin’ it!”
“Understandable, kid,” Dad says. “It’s been a long time.”
“Yeah, but on the other hand, it feels like just yesterday we were together.”
“I take it Alice is no longer in the picture,” Mum asks.
“Nah, Bella put pay to that when she attacked me in the middle of the night with Alice sleeping next to me.”
Mum chuckles and looks at Bella, who doesn’t look perturbed in the slightest. “She didn’t have what it took to be in this family,” she simply states. “Plus, trashing those sneakers was worth the collateral damage.”
“Finally,” Mum shouts in delight. “Bella, you get extra pudding for that.”
Bella grins as I sit in shock. “Mum, you bought me those sneakers!”
“Yes, four years ago and before they smelled like hot garbage.”
“Well, this is fucking charming,” I pout.
Dad laughs and pats me on the head. “It was time, kid.”
The laughter dies down and everyone grows serious. I know they’re waiting for me to say something more, but I don’t have the words. I need to paint. Maybe once I have my feelings on canvas I can articulate them to the group.
“Thanks for lunch.” I stand up so I can get started on detangling my emotions. “I need to go paint.”
My family and friends aren’t surprised in the slightest and I get no pushback. I’ll talk about Sloane when I’m ready.
“I’m coming too,” Bella says. “Becca will probably be back.”
“Can I come?” Pia asks.
The three of us leave Mum and Dad with a promise to talk soon. The walk home is…slow. Pia waddles as fast as she can, but shit, it’s still sloth speed.
Becca is waiting for us when we enter the apartment. Instead of greeting Bella like she always does, Becca heads straight to me and engulfs me in a bear hug.
“Go paint,” she says. “And then we’ll talk.”
I don’t need to be told twice. Leaving the girls alone, I head for the spare room, which is my art studio. It’s the size of a shoebox but has a large window that lets in all the natural light, making it the brightest room in the apartment.
Setting up a new canvas, I sit and stare for a while.
I should be finishing the fucking ferret piece, but the only thing my muse is offering is the silhouette of a body I once treasured.
Picking up some charcoal, I set to work.
My hand works almost separately from the rest of me.
Dark lines cut through the white until the shape of a torso is formed.
Hours later, I sit back and study the drawing.
It’s Sloane as I remember her…arched into my hand as I pleasured her for the last time.
I can’t say why I drew it, or what it’s supposed to mean.
All I know is Sloane’s form will influence my art until I deal with her being back.
Now I’ve given myself permission to think of her, all other muses are nowhere in sight.
Fuck.
Stretching my back, I head into the living room where Becca, Bella, and Pia are sitting. Pia has the armchair to herself. She barely fits, but she says it’s the most comfortable seat she’s ever sat in, so whatever works, right?
Bella and Becca are sitting close together, with Becca resting her head on Bella’s shoulder. All three women turn to me as I step through the door.
“Better?” Becca asks.
“Take a look,” I say, gesturing over my shoulder to the open door to the studio.
Becca hops up, walks past me, and into the spare room. She’s only gone a second before she comes back out and gives me a knowing look.
“I’m fucked, aren’t I?” I whine.
“You going to see her?” Becca asks. Pia grumbles as she struggles to stand up. Bella finally helps her, and we all watch as she plods past and into the studio.
“Yeah, you’re fucked!” she shouts.
Bella rolls her eyes. “Fucking hell, now I need to see.”
I wait patiently as Bella takes a gander at my piece. Moments later she walks out with Pia, grinning.
“Sloane’s bod is hot!”
Becca flicks her in the ear but laughs. “Bella, not the point.”
“Nope, the point is, you’re going to have to see her, Eden. Get it out of the way so you can both figure out how to move forward. If she’s sticking around town, you don’t wanna be living on tenterhooks all the time,” Pia says, and she’s right.
I’m going to have to see Sloane sooner rather than later.