Chapter 108 #2
“You’re awake?” Gu Fei asked him quietly.
“Mm,” Jiang Cheng hummed.
“Go back to sleep a little longer. It’s not time yet.” Gu Fei patted his back. “I’ll wake you when it’s time.”
“Mm.” Jiang Cheng closed his eyes. He finally fell asleep at sunrise, but it felt like he’d only just closed his eyes when Gu Fei was shaking him awake again. “Cheng-ge, come have some breakfast.”
Get up. Get dressed. Wash up. Eat breakfast. Check luggage. Leave.
They stayed silent through the whole process.
Even knowing that Gu Fei was going to ride the train with him and travel to the school with him, Jiang Cheng still felt morose.
Gu Fei could only stay with him for two days.
Registration was tomorrow, and the day after that, Gu Fei would have to come back first thing in the morning.
He’d have to take the train back by himself.
Just thinking about it was unbearable—to leave as two and return as one. He didn’t dare imagine how Gu Fei would feel.
***
Despite its eternal state of filthiness and air of desolation, the old, run-down station was packed with lively people due to the start of the school year.
Students thronged both inside the station and out, lugging suitcases behind them with anticipation written all over their faces.
At this point, how they felt about their exam scores and the school they’d gotten into no longer mattered—in most of their hearts, that feeling had already been replaced by the overwhelming excitement of the new and unknown life ahead of them.
It wasn’t too long a ride to the school, so Jiang Cheng had booked them seats instead of bunks.
Frankly, even if it had been a longer trip, he still would’ve opted for sitting tickets.
This way, the two of them could sit side by side, arm pressed against arm and leg against leg.
They could lean on each other’s shoulder with a simple tilt of the head.
If they had sleepers, those kinds of actions wouldn’t be as natural.
If two boys with their own bunks insisted on squeezing together on one, it would definitely look suspicious as hell.
They found their seats in the noisy car and put their luggage away. When they finally sat down, they breathed long sighs of relief.
It was only now that Jiang Cheng felt a little regret for buying the tickets so late. If he had bought them earlier, they might’ve been able to choose a two-seater row. Now, they were sitting in a three-seater row, and neither of them was next to the window.
“This isn’t bad at all.” Gu Fei leaned close and pressed his arm against Jiang Cheng’s. “We’re lucky that we’re not separated by the aisle. Look at those two in front of us.”
Jiang Cheng glanced ahead—there was a young couple in front of them.
It was clear they were in the same situation; the boy was taking the girl to school.
They sat on either side of the aisle, holding hands across the walkway.
If someone passed by, they would let go, then rejoin their hands after the person passed, again and again.
“If we had to sit like that, would you hold my hand?” Jiang Cheng asked.
“It’s a little dramatic,” said Gu Fei. “We could tango with our eyes instead.”
Jiang Cheng laughed as he looked at Gu Fei.
“Am I wrong?” Gu Fei looked into his eyes and giggled. “Just like this, two pairs of eyes meeting across the chasm. I’ll see the longing in yours, and in mine you’ll hear: ‘I’m right there by your side…’ Thank you for tuning in to Gu Feifei’s Romantic Poetry Mini Broadcast.”
“Fuck off.” Jiang Cheng shook with laughter. “Don’t copy me.”
“That’s unethical, Contestant Jiang Cheng. You shouldn’t corner the market,” Gu Fei said seriously.
They continued joking around until the woman in the window seat arrived.
Jiang Cheng pulled out his phone and took a photo of the platform to share to his WeChat Moments. Soon a number of replies appeared under it, wishing him well and saying goodbye.
The first comment was from Wang Xu: Come back on National Day, we’ll eat meat pies.
Jiang Cheng laughed for a while before putting his phone away. He leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes.
Not long after that, an announcement notified them that the train would soon depart.
Jiang Cheng opened his eyes. The moment the train began to move, his heart practically stopped beating in his chest. He swiftly directed his gaze out the window. The platform was empty now. The view outside started to slide backward.
The train really was departing.
The window was like a screen, the images shifting like an old-fashioned zoetrope. As the train station quickly disappeared from sight, the view was replaced by stretches of worn-down houses and taller buildings in the distance.
Finally, the houses grew sparser, and gradually disappeared. The view was replaced by swaths of farmland, stretching out endlessly.
Jiang Cheng’s heart felt as empty as those fields looked.
The way he’d felt when he came here with only himself and his suitcase had been entirely different from how he felt right now.
At the time, he had hardly taken more than a couple of glances out the window.
This was a tiny city that he had once been reluctant to spend another day in—a place he only wanted to escape from.
But now, as it faded out of sight behind him, he was actually starting to miss it.
Although he’d been adamant about leaving this place—and there was no way he would stay—it held precious memories that he would never in a million years forget, as well as a person he would never in a million years let go of.
When his phone rang, Jiang Cheng finally drew back his gaze. It was a call from Pan Zhi.
The guy had really put his words before the exams into action. Even though he didn’t exactly do well, he’d still convinced his parents to throw him the money he needed to get into a university in the capital, where Jiang Cheng would be.
“Is that Pan Zhi?” Gu Fei asked.
“Yeah,” Jiang Cheng said as he answered the call. “He insists on picking me up…”
“Be honest—if I didn’t come pick you up, wouldn’t you be extremely disappointed?” said Pan Zhi in displeasure when he heard Jiang Cheng’s voice. “Don’t get me wrong, Cheng-er, but the way you’re treating me right now is exactly what a scumbag playboy would do.”
“As an actual authentic playboy,” Jiang Cheng said, “how dare you be so bold as to accuse your gramps of being scummy?”
“Can’t I? Can you find half a fault in my single-minded devotion to you?” Pan Zhi protested. “You two don’t arrive until the afternoon, and I’m already walking around on your campus.”
“Wait,” said Jiang Cheng. “When you said you were picking me up, did you mean at the train station or at the school gates?”
“The train station, of course! Don’t you know me at all? Are we even bros anymore?!” Pan Zhi tutted a couple of times. “I’m just here for an advance tour. There’s a lot of pretty girls at your school… Oh, yeah, did you tell Gu Fei that I’m picking you up?”
“I mentioned it. Why?”
“Nothing, I wanted him to know that he’ll just have to put up with some third wheeling. You pretty much treated this third wheel like a complete stranger the entire summer,” Pan Zhi sighed. “Though I am still fairly considerate. I won’t stare if you two want to hold hands or make out or something…”
Jiang Cheng had pressed the phone to Gu Fei’s ear so he could listen in, and now Gu Fei was cracking up. “We’ll have to present you with the Biggest and Best Third Wheel Award, then.”
***
They didn’t talk much for the rest of the way, choosing instead to lean against each other with their eyes closed.
Jiang Cheng was certain that he and Gu Fei both fell asleep, and very sloppily at that. Their heads knocked against one another more than a few times; they would open their eyes, exchange a look, and go back to sleep.
The train was very punctual. About twenty minutes before its scheduled arrival, a lot of the other passengers had already gone to the door with their luggage.
“Cheng-ge.” Gu Fei yawned as he stretched his shoulder. “Did you not sleep well last night?”
“Eh, I slept pretty well.” Jiang Cheng rubbed his face.
“You were snoring just now,” said Gu Fei.
“Bull—” Jiang Cheng broke off halfway to turn and glare at Gu Fei. “Really?”
“No.”
“Shit.” Jiang Cheng breathed a sigh of relief. No matter where he was, it was always important to maintain his image. A handsome guy snoring with his mouth open on the train would be an unfortunate tragedy that even his good looks couldn’t salvage.
After the woman at the window seat made her way to the door with her luggage and squeezed in with the rest of the crowd, Jiang Cheng got up with one knee on his seat to peer up and down the train car.
Gu Fei reached his hand discreetly into Jiang Cheng’s shirt and rubbed his belly.
Just as he was about to draw his hand back, Jiang Cheng leaned forward against the back of his seat and trapped his hand there.
Gu Fei looked at him. “Bold, aren’t we?”
“If there’s ever a time to give oneself over to the throes of passion, it’s now.” Jiang Cheng smiled at him. “It’s not like anyone knows me here.”
Without a word, Gu Fei curled his fingers and scratched Jiang Cheng’s belly.
It wasn’t until everyone else left the car that they finally got off with their luggage, walking slowly toward the exit gate where Pan Zhi was waiting for them. Before they were even halfway there, Jiang Cheng got a call from him.
“Gramps! Be honest! Are you two trying to get back at me for third wheeling?! Everyone else from your damn train has left! Are you two coming out here or what?!”
“Almost there,” Jiang Cheng laughed. “Who could be bothered to get revenge on you? I just didn’t want to squeeze in with the crowd.”
“Hurry up,” Pan Zhi said. “I got a room for you two. We can go eat after you set your stuff down. I got us a table too.”
“What do you mean, you got us a room?” Jiang Cheng didn’t quite understand.
“Were you two going to sleep under a bridge tonight? Or were you going to sleep in your dorm and put Gu Fei under a bridge?”
“No, I mean, I could just do that myself , ” said Jiang Cheng.
“I’m begging you, Gramps, give me a chance to perform, please. Gu Fei’s pretty much stolen all of my scenes. We second male leads…or whatever numbered male leads…we have it hard, you know?”
“I’ll add some extra scenes for you in a bit—we can have a proper hug,” Jiang Cheng told him.
“You should ask the male lead if that’s allowed first,” Pan Zhi retorted.
Jiang Cheng didn’t think it had been very long since he’d last seen Pan Zhi, but coming out of the station and seeing Pan Zhi standing there with a new hairstyle and an outfit that positively screamed “scumbag playboy,” he couldn’t help the sincere grin spreading across his face.
“Grandpa!” Pan Zhi roared in total elation.
“Grandson!” Jiang Cheng roared back.
The passersby around them all looked in their direction, bearing witness to this touching intergenerational reunion.
Pan Zhi charged over and gave Jiang Cheng a hug. “Fuck! I really have missed you.”
Jiang Cheng laughed as he patted Pan Zhi on the back.
Pan Zhi let go of him and turned to give Gu Fei a hug too. “Long time no see.”
“You’ve gotten a whole eight degrees handsomer since the last time I saw you,” said Gu Fei.
“Good eye.” Pan Zhi gave him a thumbs-up, then grandly waved his hand. “Come on, let’s go, let’s go! We can get there directly by subway.”
“You got here pretty early, huh?” Gu Fei asked.
“Of course,” Pan Zhi said. “I’ve had to repress myself all summer spending time with my parents—I wanted to escape as soon as I could. I’ve already been here for two weeks, just loafing around all day every day waiting for you two to show up.”
Pan Zhi had already gotten to know the various subway lines. The room he’d booked was at a hotel next to the university, so they took the subway straight to campus.
“You two go put your stuff down and freshen up. We’ll meet in the lobby in half an hour,” he told them. “Don’t be late—they’ll cancel our table if we’re not there on time.”
“Okay.” Jiang Cheng went into the room, closed the door, and sat down on the edge of the bed. He watched Gu Fei set his luggage down by the wall before going into the bathroom to make sure there was hot water.
The joy of seeing Pan Zhi again and the pleasant ease of chatting after so long slowly dissipated now that he’d entered this room. And now, as he watched Gu Fei putter about, the reluctance to part that erupted in this single instant filled him up until he was ready to explode.
They had only one night today, and one day tomorrow. Gu Fei would be leaving first thing in the morning the day after that. Jiang Cheng would have to start living on his own in a new environment with new people. A new life—without Gu Fei by his side.
For a very long time, he and Gu Fei would have to stay in contact through ubiquitous yet not nearly adequate cell phones. Whenever he had the urge to hug or kiss Gu Fei, he would only have a screen.
As soon as thoughts like these began to rear their heads, it was impossible to push them back down.
“Gu Fei,” he called out.
“Hm?” Gu Fei answered from the bathroom, but he didn’t come out.
Jiang Cheng stood and walked to the bathroom door. He saw Gu Fei standing there with his hands braced against the sink, staring at himself in the mirror. When he heard Jiang Cheng behind him, he quickly turned on the tap and splashed some water on his face.
“Gu Fei,” Jiang Cheng said again, his heart wringing itself into a tightly twisted coil.
“Yeah.” Gu Fei turned and gave him a tiny smile. His eyes looked a little red.
“You were crying.” Jiang Cheng’s voice trembled as he walked closer to him. He cupped Gu Fei’s face in his hands and gently wiped away the wetness on his face. “Were you crying?”
“Yeah,” Gu Fei admitted. He closed his eyes for a second. “I miss you so much, Cheng-ge. Right here, right now.”