Chapter 109
J IANG CHENG HAD THOUGHT his hands were pretty warm already, but when Gu Fei closed his eyes, letting a very small teardrop trickle from the corner of his eye onto his fingertip, he still felt its heat—this tiny bit of warmth carrying the weight of Gu Fei’s emotions.
Jiang Cheng felt like somebody had grabbed his heart and wrenched it. It throbbed.
He didn’t say a word, because he didn’t know what else there was to say. Gu Fei had never been one to wear his feelings on his sleeve. Even in front of Jiang Cheng, he always held back as much as possible.
The first time this had happened, Jiang Cheng had spotted Gu Fei at the bottom of a dark river, his eyes closed.
The second time was right now, watching Gu Fei struck down by their looming separation and longing, just like him.
So Jiang Cheng had nothing else to say. If and when he opened his mouth, he would surely dissolve into a puddle of tears right alongside Gu Fei.
But he couldn’t cry right now. He couldn’t add to the weight of Gu Fei’s longing. All he wanted to do now was hold Gu Fei, to let him feel his existence, lively and warm in his embrace. That was what he himself wanted at this moment—to hold the solid weight of Gu Fei in his arms.
It was very quiet. The only sound was the low whirring of the bathroom fan.
Jiang Cheng couldn’t hear Gu Fei’s tears, but he could hear his heartbeat. He wondered if the heartbeat was real or a figment of his imagination. He wondered whether it belonged to Gu Fei or himself.
With his eyes closed, he held Gu Fei tightly, holding on to his clothes the way he wished he could hold on to time as it slowly trickled away—every minute and every second.
What an annoying thing time was; it was bubbly and excitable in the most unfeeling way.
Jiang Cheng didn’t know how long they spent standing like this before Gu Fei finally moved again, rubbing his face against Jiang Cheng’s shoulder. “I’m fine now,” he said. “Are you going to take a shower? Or do you wanna wait until after dinner?”
“Huh?” Jiang Cheng was caught by surprise; he hadn’t managed to fully suppress the waves of angst swirling in his heart. As usual, Gu Fei’s control of his emotions was god-tier.
Gu Fei patted his shoulder. “Do you want to shower right now?”
“I’ll just wash my face,” Jiang Cheng sniffed, “and shower when we come back. I can’t sleep if I don’t shower before bed.”
“All right.” Gu Fei let go, then turned around and switched on the tap.
Gu Fei splashed some water on his face and wiped it dry. By the time he turned back around, he had returned to normal.
“Do you need to take a shower?” Jiang Cheng asked.
“Nah, we can shower together tonight.” Gu Fei grinned. “A couple’s bath.”
Jiang Cheng tutted and laughed. “You’re the most shameless person I’ll ever meet in my whole life.”
“What do you mean, your whole life?” asked Gu Fei. “You’ll meet plenty of people in the future; lots and lots of ‘most’ whatevers.”
“You are the most.” Jiang Cheng nudged him aside as he stepped in front of the sink to wash his face. “The most handsome, the most intelligent, the most cool, the most adorable, the most talented…the one I’ll miss the most.”
“Then all I can say is a-fucking-men,” Gu Fei said.
“Fucking what?” Jiang Cheng’s mind was still sluggish from his misery.
“You, of course,” Gu Fei said with a laugh before he walked out of the bathroom.
“Fuck off!” Jiang Cheng’s brain finally caught up to his ears. “I get that you wanna fuck, but men? What men?!”
Gu Fei couldn’t stop laughing as he walked to the window with a cigarette between his lips. He wondered what time it was—he was too lazy to take out his phone and check, but it was already dark outside.
Looking up, he could see the vague contours of the night sky. Looking down, his view was filled with brilliant lights—fields of light made up of individual buildings and shimmering neon signs, near and far.
“Whatcha lookin’ at?” Jiang Cheng walked over to his side.
“The great bustling metropolis,” Gu Fei said.
“Yeah, it’s the capital, after all,” said Jiang Cheng. “Back in the Steelworks neighborhood, it’s probably pitch black out by now.”
“Uh-huh,” Gu Fei said with a smile. “The streetlamps wouldn’t even be working.”
“Did you ever come here when you used to travel by yourself?” Jiang Cheng asked.
“No.” Gu Fei shook his head. “If it wasn’t for you, I might never have come here my whole life.”
“What do you mean, your whole life?” Jiang Cheng said, parroting what Gu Fei had said earlier. “We’ll go to lots of other places like this in the future: big cities, small cities, the mountains, the sea, on the other side of the mountains and the other side of the seas …”
Out of nowhere, Jiang Cheng made an inexplicably smooth segue into the Song of the Smurfs.
“…A group of blue Smurfs live in peace,” Gu Fei finished, cackling.
Once they’d changed their clothes, they got ready to go to dinner. Jiang Cheng even went to knock at Pan Zhi’s room next door, but there was no answer.
“He’s definitely not in his room anymore at this point,” said Gu Fei. “I bet he’s in the lobby waiting to yell at us.”
“What time is it?” asked Jiang Cheng.
“I’m scared to check my phone,” said Gu Fei. “Pan Zhi’s reservation is probably canceled by now. How are we going to face him?”
“ Tsk. Head-on and with honesty.”
Pan Zhi was sitting in the lobby swiping at his phone in absolute boredom. When the two of them walked up, he was taking selfies as if he was the only one in the room.
“Hey, handsome!” Jiang Cheng called to him.
“Fuck.” Pan Zhi stood up with a relieved expression on his face, which quickly changed into something a little more cryptic.
“Okay. All right. Aren’t you two trying a little too hard to milk every minute and every second?
You have a long night ahead of you after dinner. You had to squeeze it in now ?”
“What do you mean?” Jiang Cheng was confused.
“The condoms in hotel rooms are so overpriced,” Pan Zhi said as he pulled out his phone and started a call. “Don’t you feel scammed? Wouldn’t it be better to go buy a box after dinner…?”
“Excuse me?” Jiang Cheng turned to Gu Fei in shock, his mouth agape.
“Head-on and with honesty,” Gu Fei reminded him.
“Head-on your honest ass,” Jiang Cheng scoffed, turning back to Pan Zhi. “We weren’t—”
“Hello?!” Pan Zhi’s call connected. “Yes, I reserved a table today… It’s me, Pan An. Yes, I’m—don’t cancel it! What do you mean, cancel?! I’m heading over right now! I even called earlier for you to hold it!”
“My reputation is ruined,” said Jiang Cheng.
“Why do you need to maintain a reputation in front of your own grandson?” Gu Fei laughed as he slung an arm around Jiang Cheng’s shoulders.
“Jiejie!” Pan Zhi, whose voice had been assertively loud just a moment ago, suddenly changed his tone.
“Don’t cancel it, Jiejie, please? I promise I’m coming.
I’ll be there in ten minutes, really… I’m sure you can.
Ask the other group to wait for another table or something.
I have guests here—very, very important people, VVIPs. It’s a matter of honor…”
Jiang Cheng and Gu Fei stood at the hotel entrance, watching the traffic stream by as they waited for Pan Zhi to flatter the staff into returning the canceled table to them instead of giving it to a group of diners already at the restaurant.
Two minutes later, Pan Zhi waved at them. “Hurry, let’s go. It’s right up ahead.”
“They’ll save it for us?” Jiang Cheng asked.
“For ten minutes.” Pan Zhi checked the time. “You two are really testing my social skills.”
“We…” Jiang Cheng wanted to say that they really didn’t make use of the condoms in the hotel room, but upon further reflection he couldn’t find a reasonable way to explain why they’d taken so long, so he didn’t try.
“Wait a sec.” Pan Zhi suddenly ran into a flower shop nearby, emerging shortly after holding the stem of an exquisitely wrapped rose.
Jiang Cheng looked at him. “What’s this now?”
“It’s not for you two,” Pan Zhi retorted.
“I wouldn’t want it even if you kneeled down and begged me to accept,” said Jiang Cheng.
“Not even if you kowtow,” added Gu Fei.
“Why would someone as principled and moral as me ever kneel down and beg you?!” Pan Zhi said to Jiang Cheng before turning to glare at Gu Fei. “You two sure are the perfect match!”
The restaurant wasn’t too far away. It was a Szechuan restaurant, and business was booming. No wonder they were so eager to cancel the reservation once the allotted time had passed. Usually, hot spots like this didn’t take reservations at all.
“Good evening. How many people?” the host asked with a smile.
“I have a reservation, under Pan,” said Pan Zhi.
“Ah, Mr. Pan—your table is on the second floor. If you’ll please follow—”
Pan Zhi interrupted. “Who was the one who answered my call before?” he asked.
“That would be my colleague at the counter,” the host said, pointing to the side.
Pan Zhi glanced over. “The one talking on the phone?”
The host nodded. “Yes.”
“You two go on up.” Pan Zhi turned back to Jiang Cheng. “I’ll be just a minute.”
“You…” Jiang Cheng glanced over at the counter. The young woman at the counter did look kind of pretty. He sighed and turned back to the host. “Second floor, right?”
“Yes. Second floor, table thirty-five. Your server is waiting on the second floor to lead you to your table.”
As they walked up the stairs, Jiang Cheng looked back again. Pan Zhi was already at the counter, holding out the rose in his hand to the girl. She blinked at him in surprise, but Pan Zhi said something to her, and she smiled back at him timidly.
“Is he always like this?” asked Gu Fei, who was also looking back at Pan Zhi. “What a smooth operator.”
“Uh-huh.” Jiang Cheng cracked up. “He’s been like this since middle school—totally shameless.”
“Don’t learn from him,” Gu Fei said solemnly.