Chapter 8
ALICIA
I slumped back in my office chair, my eyes lapsing shut as I massaged my temples—a sorry attempt to get rid of the headache that just wouldn’t quit.
I distantly processed the door clicking open and closed as someone slipped inside. Alexis must have forgotten something.
“Alicia…”
That voice. I knew that voice. But I had never heard it in that tone before. Pained, hesitant… vulnerable.
I refused to open my eyes, refused to engage in another standoff. I didn’t have the energy.
“I can’t do this right now. I’m tired. ” I could have sworn I had aged a decade over the past month alone.
“Ali, please look at me,” Ethan said. Was that a little sniffle I heard in there? Good. Choke on it. ”Please, love. Give me those eyes.”
My lids cracked a sliver, and what I saw nearly made me gasp. Ethan sat across my desk in what I could only call a submissive stance. Hunched shoulders, head bowed with a doe-eyed expression.
What the hell happened to Ethan Harris?
“Alicia, I need to apologise .”
“For what?”
“Fuck, where do I even start?” Ethan’s stare penetrated, blue eyes blazing with emotion as his hands opened in sincerity. “There’s an endless list, but let’s start from the beginning.”
“ I’m so sorry, Alicia. For the way I initially reacted to your feelings, for being so condescending and uncaring.
For my immaturity, blowing up your phone.
And that video— god , how I wish I could just erase that night.
Better yet, erase everything after you tried having that talk with me… I would change so much…”
For the first time ever, he was completely open, allowing me to see right into the depths of him. If only that could erase the bitterness he had injected into my bloodstream. Guarding against further hurt, I remained silent and fortified my apathetic persona.
Ethan sighed. “Those things I said about you were disgusting, straight-up lies. I have never felt that way about you, ever . You weren’t just a fuck buddy to me, Ali.
Over the years, you have steadily become my best friend, and I can’t believe I let my weak ego take over and treat you the way I did…
“Then I had to fuck myself further and cheat on you. We promised exclusivity, and I managed to shit on our arrangement, our friendship, our connection for a vomit-inducing kiss. I swear it didn’t go further than that, but that doesn’t excuse anything.
My actions were deplorable, and when you immediately shut me out, I didn’t know how to cope.
I was a fucking toddler chucking a tantrum over not having your attention, not having your light shining on me any longer. ”
Confusion was steadily building as Ethan gave me his grand apology speech. I was sceptical at best, his turnaround making me question our entire history and him as a person.
I tilted my head, taking him in. “Are you… feeling, okay? Have you been diagnosed with anything recently?”
His brow furrowed. “No. Why?”
“Because your behaviour and mood swings are giving me whiplash. First, your arrogance was so potent. That shit was infectious—as proven by your little groupies cackling in that video. Now, you’re practically on your knees.
For what? What happened to the pro football player who was a king amongst men? ”
“I’m no king without my queen. And Ali, I want—”
I scoffed. “Yes, let’s start there. What do you want this time, Superstar ? You already crushed my heart, now you want my liver too?”
Ethan’s hair was a mess, his anxious hands pulling on the strands while exhaustion slowly pulled me down further. I was running on fumes and didn’t have anything extra to spare for this crap.
“Look, Ethan. I acknowledge the apology, but it doesn’t change anything. I have a lot going on, and let me just say you’re the last thing on my priority list. Better yet, you’re not even on the list. Work and family are what’s important to me right now.”
Ethan’s head bobbled as sympathy painted his features. “Ali. Your dad. Fuck , I’m so sorry, love. I want to help. Tell me what I can do.”
“ Leave me alone. ”