Chapter 9
ALICIA
“ Leave me alone. ”
Tears gathered in my lash line as the monumental request took root. I meant them, and Ethan knew it. I didn’t know how he found out about my dad, but it didn’t matter.
Be strong, Alicia.
“That’s not something I can give you, love,” he said, voice soft, almost lost.
Minutes ticked by as his face gradually morphed into a resolute mask. “I’m not going anywhere. I lost sight of us for a second, but I’m going to make amends. And I’ll start by paying for your dad’s medical expenses.”
My eyes snapped with fire, that previous sadness completely evaporated, replaced with frustration.
He could hear me, but he wasn’t fucking processing a word.
I sliced a hand through the air. “And here he is, folks. I don’t want your guilt money, Ethan.”
“I’m only trying to—”
“When are you going to get it? Not everything can be solved with money, power or influence.”
“But… but you’ve been accepting my gifts,” he said, having the audacity to sound disappointed.
“Why would I waste completely good merchandise? Those donuts are delicious, the flowers are beautiful, and the lingerie is my favourite brand. I took those gifts because I fucking deserve them! That doesn’t mean we’re getting back together.”
Ethan was shaking. “Then I’ll buy you more shit. We can go public. No secrets this time. Anything you want, Ali. Whatever you want.”
A potent dejection slowly took hold. We were on two separate wavelengths that kept on missing the reconnect.
“That’s not what I want, Ethan. That’s never what I wanted. Your money, status, going public? None of that mattered to me.”
“Then tell me what you want.”
“There’s no point. ’Cause no matter what I say, you won’t actually listen .
” I shook my head. “What’s that saying? When someone shows you who they are, believe them .
Well, trust me, Mr Harris , I was watching—alongside the whole world—and I received your message loud and clear.
No misinterpretation on my part. I believed you wholeheartedly. ”
“That’s not who I am. You know me. Please, Alicia, you are one of the very few people who really knows me.”
“I thought I did… but as soon as I asked the hard questions, laid those commitments on you, you turned cruel. The attentive, gorgeous man I knew disappeared right before my eyes. As if he never existed at all. Instead, he was body-snatched, his personality swapped out by a pubescent fuck boy that searched for validation from strangers. People who don’t give a fuck about him. ”
Ethan’s head bowed low. If he lowered any further, his forehead would hit the floor. “The man you’ve been with for the past four years. The man you fell in love with. That’s the real me.”
“Loved.”
“Huh?”
“Loved—as in past tense.”
Ethan shuddered as if he were struck with a live electrical wire, devastation coating his features. “I will earn back your affection, Ali. I’ll earn back your love. I’m going to prove myself to you.”
A pretty speech with pretty words. I also took note that he never professed any such feelings for me. So why the fuck is he here?
I sighed. “Show me some respect.”
“You’re one of the very few people in my life I do respect, Ali.”
“Your actions don’t align with your words. What you did isn’t respectful. The way you’ve treated me isn’t respectful. You being here at my job , trying to bulldoze me into getting what you want is not respectful!”
Stella Financial Management had a strict, ironclad, no fraternisation policy. Due to the calibre of clients, there were a lot of social climbers who wanted a spot in the industry—to get close to the rich and famous. I was not going to give up my job for a man.
So, Ethan coming into my workplace, wanting to discuss our personal issues—more like bully me into forgiveness—caused a volcano of rage to erupt inside me.
“It’s over, Ethan. Leave. Now.”
Red raised up his neck, and his eyes swam with a certain type of unhinged quality. He was about to blow, and I was not fucking having it.
He went to stand, and my hand automatically curled over the photo frame on my desk. The dildo obviously wasn’t enough to beat some common decency into him, so maybe my smiling family could do it for me.
As he opened his mouth to let loose, we were interrupted by a loud knock.
We both froze, staring at each other, a silent stand-off in the charged environment.
One breath. Two.
I equalised my voice. “Come in.”
Felix slipped his head through the door, his brows popping when he took in Ethan—who was not supposed to be there.
“Ah, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I was unaware you were with someone, Alica.”
I smiled. “That’s okay. I was just informing Mr Harris that he’s not my client anymore. That you have a vision for the way you want to move forward with his account. And let me say, Felix, Mr Harris can’t wait to see what you have planned.”
Felix beamed behind Ethan’s back as the man in question seethed before me. Only I could see his face, and based on his expression, he wanted to fucking throttle me.
That’s right, motherfucker. Get out of my office.
Felix advanced forward and offered a hand which Ethan had no choice but to reciprocate the handshake.
“I look forward to working with you, Mr Harris. I have a spare half hour if you want to come to my office to discuss your account. Alicia’s next appointment has just arrived.”
Ethan agreed and shuffled out the door behind my boss. Just before he passed the threshold, my ex-lover glanced over his shoulder with a look I had only caught a couple of times before.
He usually locked that openness up tight, loathe to give up any type of vulnerability. But sometimes, his deep-set emotions would filter through.
They were small moments, little snapshots of connection. Sometimes, after we were intimate or when I spontaneously made him laugh.
It was the look of pure longing.