Chapter 25
ETHAN
“Can you talk us through that video, Ethan?”
Heat raised beneath my skin, flushing my cheeks. “Shit, that’s just one piece of the puzzle… I’m ashamed to say my atrocious behaviour didn’t start there. That just happened to be the part that was memorialised on film.”
I shifted uncomfortably. “Honestly, I look back on that video with self-disdain. I didn’t protect or keep my girl safe. Instead, I was acting like a complete cunt —oh, shit! Can I say that?”
Veronica suppressed a laugh. “You can say whatever you want.”
I ran a hand through my hair, embarrassment creeping down my spine “There is no excuse for the way I behaved, and I wish I could take it all back.”.
“Why did you behave like that? What happened to make you react that way?”
“She said she wanted a future with me,” I said, my tone wistful and full of regret. “And because of my avoidant attachment issues, I panicked—then self-sabotaged the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had.”
Veronica tilted her head in reflection. “Are you sure it was self-sabotage? And not a common case of ‘ you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone ’?”
I shook my head. “I can see how people would think that, and I guess there is some truth to it. But even I can admit our relationship had already taken that next step—before I turned it into a disastrous train wreck, of course. I… I never told her this, but I wanted her to meet my dad. The next time he was due to visit, I was going to introduce them…”
“Is that significant? Meeting your father?”
"For a commitment-phobe like me? Yeah, it is.” I smirked, my eyes catching on my dad, who stood in the corner of the room, face gleaming with pride.
“For a long time, Rudy Harris has been the only one given full access to my inner sanctum. But unbeknownst to me, in the last four years, another has managed to infiltrate those walls.”
“And then the video happened?”
I caved in on myself, my head downcast as I tried to find reprieve from the glaring vulnerability. “And then the video happened…”
Veronica shifted and raised a tablet between us. “Should we watch that video back so we can talk about it?”
I didn’t have to. I knew every line, each dreaded frame by memory—as every single second of that two-minute clip was burnt into my fucking brain.
Despite that, I gave a resolute nod, allowing my disgusting behaviour to play out. Utter revulsion swept over me in waves as each scathing word hit me with another swell.
But that was the whole reason why I was there, why I had agreed to the exclusive interview. So I could address and debunk each piece of filth that flew out of my mouth.
I don’t deserve Alicia—I never did—but I’m hoping, with the actions I’m taking now, that I’m beginning to.
Once the scene was complete, Veronica tucked the screen away and stared at me expectantly. Like she was the fucking judge and jury of my fate.
Nope. That’s reserved for one person only.
“Ethan, how did you—”
I raised a hand to cut her off. This is my show now.
“I’m going to flip the narrative on this one. I know that’s on the internet forever . So we’re going to go through each damning statement again. And then I’m going to replace that with the truth. We good?” I asked Veronica, borderline rude.
She just swept her hand in reply, giving me the signal to go ahead.
Then I hit replay.
“…The bitch wants me to marry her, she’s delusional. In all these years, I haven’t even acknowledged her in public…”
“One. She isn’t delusional. I am. I was an immature fool who feared my past. Now, I’d do anything to have her on my arm, to show her off to the world, to claim her in front of everyone .”
“…She’s a good girl that listens to everything I say… No commitments means no demands and no expectations. I get whatever I want, whenever I want…”
I sniggered at my blatant show of overinflated ego. “Look, there’s no way to sugarcoat this, but I completely assassinated her character here—especially since she is nothing like I just described. They’re lies.”
“…When I tell you this girl isn’t even marriage material, let alone mother material…”
I slumped back, a reluctant sigh passing my lips. “I still can’t believe I said such vicious things about her,” I murmured.
“Can you repeat that, Ethan? We didn’t quite catch what you said?”
Negative emotions began playing havoc with my thought process as I tried and failed to recompose myself.
Remember your why, Ethan. Think of your why.
That’s when Alicia’s smile flashed through my mind, her expression open with so much affection shining from her eyes, I knew I’d do anything to have that back.
With reinforced belief, I rolled my shoulders, sat upright, then locked my gaze on the closest camera, imagining Alicia behind the lens, wishing and fucking hoping that she could feel my sincerity.
“ Now I’m speaking directly to you, love.
” I said before I cleared my throat for dramatic effect.
“I want you to know that all my fucked up actions leading up to this point has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me . It’s me who isn’t husband material.
It’s me who isn’t father material.” Unsolicited tears began to gather in my lash line.
Yet, I didn’t seem to care. She deserved to see it all.
“Fuck. If only I was so lucky to have you as my wife, as the mother of my children. I once told you that nothing else matters if I don’t have you .
And you can fucking bet your ass that I’d give up anything for the honour of you taking my last name and becoming my family. ”
Veronica gave an approving nod as light cheers infiltrated from the offset, soon followed by one overzealous hoot—which I was betting was my dad.
The cameraman silently counted me down, dropping a finger for each remaining second I had on air. I didn’t budge, my gaze drilling into the lens, my final lifeline.
Hear me, love. This is for you. All of this is for you. Everything I do is for you.
“To the world, she’s known as Runaway Girl. When all I want is for her to run back to me . Don’t walk, baby, sprint full-speed, run as fast as you can—because I fucking swear, I’ll catch you this time!”
Cut. Time was up.