Chapter 11 #2
Slowly the fog lifts as my mind starts to clear, which has me struggling to wake up.
I try to take stock of my body and the damage that was done.
Not feeling much pain, so guessing I’ve been shot up with some really good drugs.
It’s quiet except for the beeping of the machines and a low hum of voices whispering all around me.
I don’t recognize all of them but a few stand out, especially Dottie’s.
In a short period of time, somehow, she’s pushed her way past my walls and that scares the shit outta me.
I’m a dangerous motherfucker with more than one screw loose.
After my last mission, neither the military nor our government even attempted to help me to reintegrate into my life in the States.
All some of the doctors did was put me in a “ward” for military folks with, as they kept saying, mental problems. Now this wasn’t a hospital for medical issues but more of a pretty prison for soldiers like me, who are fucked in the head.
At first, when I was able to comprehend where they stuck me, I lost it.
I became the animal they accused me of being.
Fuck, I was a dead man barely walking and breathing in that place we named Hell on Earth.
The first person to address me as a military veteran, I almost took their head off.
Just hearing those two words altered my life more than my time as a prisoner of war because it meant I no longer was a person actively serving my country.
It was bad enough that I was WIA, wounded in action as the military calls it.
The acronym VSI was attached to me, which means very seriously ill or injured.
By the time the recovery teams returned for my team, half of the men were already dead, either by starvation or torture.
The few of us who remained wouldn’t have lasted probably another week or two if not rescued.
That was a violent as fuck battle, as the insurgents who were holding us captive did not want to release us and were ready to fight to the death, theirs and ours.
Little did they know, we had planned for a rescue, though we didn’t want to get our hopes up.
When we heard the faint sound of the first Huey we busted our asses to get ready, even though many of us were suffering with severe injuries.
This was our last chance to get out of this nightmare and maybe make it home, so we all agreed as a team that first we would “stay frosty,” or be alert and ready for action.
Our thoughts were it was better to fight to the death and die with honor than let those assholes kill us by torturing and starving us just because they could.
It took the recovery teams quite a while to get to us due to the battle that took place.
I was never so happy and relieved to see American soldiers as I was that afternoon.
My legs and back were in rough shape as the burns had become infected.
One of the medics from our team would take the maggots outta the food and put them on my skin to try and have them eat out the infection.
Talk about fucking with my head. Thank God, I didn’t have much or any feeling in those areas, which meant I didn’t feel those things crawling or eating off of me.
By the time we were brought to Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, I was outta my mind with a severe infection and a critically dangerous high-grade fever.
They immediately took me to the burn unit and the next, shit, not even sure how many months, I went through the debridement and wound care dressing changes daily in the beginning.
They tried everything from surgical and sharp debridement, which removed the dead skin surgically.
Next up was the enzymatic debridement, which took weeks to finally see some results.
When the specialist finally talked to me it was to explain the damage done to me in the prison camp.
My back and thighs took the worst of it, though I did have first and second degree burns on my upper arms and chest. The third-degree burns, or also known as full-thickness burns, damage all three layers of skin.
Some of the ones on my back burned down to the underlying tissue, including the fat and muscle.
My recovery took me many months to start to function, then almost another year and a half before I was able to take care of myself again.
I have meds I can use when it gets to be too rough with the nerve endings that have been destroyed or just the damage and tightening of my skin.
I use lotions and oils to keep the skin as pliable as possible, but it’s a never-ending battle day after day and a huge pain in my ass.
Feeling soft hands grasping mine, I try to concentrate.
After a few minutes I squeeze the hands holding mine.
I hear a gasp then Dottie’s voice loudly telling someone to get the doctors and nurses because I’m starting to wake up.
Just hearing that voice gives me the strength to push past the drug fuzzies.
When I open my eyes, all I can see are the most stunning golden-brown eyes looking down at me.
Her face is strained and I can almost see where tears rolled down her cheeks.
Fuck, not that I want her to feel bad but truly can’t remember the last time anyone cried for me.
Especially a woman. Gently shaking my head to clear it, I hear Dottie clear her throat and then she leans down a little bit.
“Welcome back, Benji.”
Just those three words, and it hits me, for the first time since I don’t remember when, I feel like someone truly cares for me.
Before I can say a word, something catches my peripheral vision.
When I look, both Shadow and Spirit are in the corner.
Shadow gives me a chin lift but it’s Spirit who is watching me closely, so I return the intense stare.
When she sees my eyes watching her, she finally gives me one of her tiny smirks, and at that moment life is worth living again.
If only I could keep this feeling, maybe then I could finally enjoy the little things in life that mean the most. Though right now we all need to be diligent as someone out there wants either Dottie, Dani, or both dead, which is not happening on my watch.
I’ll die first and take those wanting to hurt them with me so I can protect them both.
That is my new mission once I get out of here.