Chapter Three #2
“I don’t remember anything at all. I don’t know how I got there. I don’t even know the dude’s name. Hell, I don’t even remember leaving the hotel we were staying at.”
“So, you’re telling me that my fiancée went off to Vegas and fucked some random guy she doesn’t even know the name of?”
“Yes.”
Eddie paces the room like an angry bear. I’ve never seen him this angry before. He’s always been a jealous person, and one time it ended up with the other guy in ICU, but this is a new Eddie—a volatile and chaotic Eddie, and it’s scaring the shit out of me.
“I’m going to kill this guy. I swear to God! No man puts his hands on my future wife but me. Who was he, Amber? Damn it tell me his name.”
Blinking through my tears, I try my best to focus through the blurry wetness on his face.
“I don’t know. I told you, Eddie, I think I was drugged.”
He stops his pacing and faces me.
“That’s complete and utter bullshit, Amber, and you fucking know it! You know his name. You just don’t want to tell me.”
“I’m telling the truth, Eddie. I don’t know his name, he never told me. Or if he did, I don’t remember it. All I remember is what happened this morning.”
He starts pacing again.
“What happened this morning?”
“Nothing. I woke up in bed with him. He went to take a shower, and I got the hell out of there.”
“Were you naked? Was he naked?”
“Yes…”
His fists slam down on my dresser, making the dresser wobble and everything on it to scatter and fall to the floor. I’m lucky the mirror didn’t shatter, but his action has me cowering, hoping he doesn’t break history and turn that rage on me.
“I’m so sorry, Eddie. I don’t know what happened. I’m not sure how I even got there. Please forgive me; I don’t want to lose you.” There’s pure desperation in my pleas for forgiveness, but it’s like he can’t even hear me.
All I see is a cold rage boiling in his gaze as his lips curl up in disgust, and he stares at me like I’m a stranger standing before him.
“I can’t believe you cheated on me! I can’t even look at you right now. I’m sorry, Amber, but I need to go.”
As he turns, I can see tears forming in his eyes, it’s a moment of weakness I’ve never seen before, and it breaks me in two. Eddie never cries, and to know I was the cause of his tears, kills me.
Right before he walks out the door, his fist clenches, and he throws another punch through my wall, shattering the drywall so there is nothing but a giant hole left in its wake.
That hole is a huge metaphor for our relationship.
Me giving everything I have to hold our relationship together, and him giving me nothing but an empty space in my chest.
“Eddie, please, don’t go!” I shout after him.
He’s in no condition to be driving anywhere, but the man is broken, and I’m the one who’s responsible for it.
Before I can even stop him, his truck fires up, the obnoxious exhaust waking the whole neighborhood as he peels down our driveway and shoots out onto the street.
Please, God, let him get home safely.
Poppy and Pippa emerge from their rooms a few minutes later. They’re both already in their pajamas, but neither one of them look surprised.
“You told him, didn’t you?” Poppy asks as she puts a reassuring arm around my shoulders. “Come on, tell us all about it.” She maneuvers me back into my bedroom before sitting beside me on the bed.
There’s no answering her right now, not when the sobs are shaking through me in waves. Her shoulder soaks up my tears, but they just keep falling.
“I had to. I couldn’t live with that kind of guilt, Poppy. He deserved to know. He told me about Jinafer, the least I can do is be honest about my infidelity as well.”
She nods.
“It serves him right. You had every right to cheat on him. Don’t let him be an asshole and make you feel like shit. Remember he did this to you first,” Pippa chips in. She’s standing in my doorway, admiring the wall’s new décor. “Damn, that’s gonna be hard to patch.”
“Just because he cheated on me doesn’t mean I should do the same to him. I feel horrible, Pippa. I can’t believe I cheated on my fiancée.”
“I can.” I look up at Poppy, startled. Usually, it’s Pippa who voices her opinion. Poppy has always been the quiet outsider who doesn’t say much, even though I know she doesn’t particularly like Eddie.
Pippa does her best to stay in the middle, but sometimes I feel like she wants us to break up with the things she says and the way she encourages me to leave Eddie all the time.
“Don’t look at me that way. It’s called submerging your feelings, Amber.
You haven’t resolved your feelings about Eddie cheating on you with Jinafer.
In Vegas, under the influence, a lot of truths were voiced, and all of them came from your own mouth.
Whether you remember what you said or not, alcohol has a way of releasing frustration and hidden emotions.
You aren’t happy with the way Eddie has been treating you.
That’s why you really went to Vegas. You didn’t care if it hurt your relationship because it was hurt way before you ever fucked the Australian. ”
She grins when I roll my eyes.
“Don’t remind me. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore, Pippa. I’m just a big fat cheater now.”
“Trust me, Eddie will get over it. In two days, you will be back together in an unhealthy relationship like always.”
“You’re better off if he doesn’t come back.
Do you really want to be married to Eddie for the rest of your life?
Look at what a slob he is now. Picture ten years from now when you are tied down to him with kids and stuck in a loveless relationship where your husband cheats on you every day.
Because that is what you will have Amber, trust me,” Pippa growls.
I want to tell her to shut up, but I know she’s right.
Pippa is always right. The passion between us is gone.
It’s been that way since he told me about Jinafer.
I do what I can to make him happy, and that’s where it ends.
He never tries to make me happy. Even when we have sex, it’s all about what feels good for him, never what feels good for me.
“Give him some space. Eddie will realize what a mistake he is making and he’ll be back. That’s your thing. You break up, get back together, and break up again. It’s a vicious cycle,” Poppy adds as she pushes up her glasses and sighs. “At least you have a relationship to cry about.”
“Shut up, Poppy. Don’t wish for this kind of relationship. Just because you don’t have a boyfriend doesn’t mean you should want to have an unhealthy one like Amber’s,” Pippa states snarkily.
“Hey!” I yell.
“Sorry, but it’s true. You will find the right guy for you someday, Poppy. You just have to be patient.”
The twins exchange that look again, before they turn their attention back to me.
“I’ll call Daniel. He can patch up that hole for you.”
I nod. Daniel is a mutual friend of all three of us, but he’s had a crush on Pippa for as long as I can remember. There isn’t anything he wouldn’t do to please her. But the man has no clue that she’s never going to date him. She’s just not interested.
“As much as I love being invited to this pity-party of yours, I have to study. Seriously, don’t let Eddie get to you. You messed up. It happens. If he can’t get over it, then he’s not worthy of you.” Poppy kisses the top of my head and leaves me and Pippa alone in the room.
“Do you want anything?” Pippa asks, still standing in the doorway.
“No, I just want to be left alone.”
She nods before giving me a half-hearted smile and closes the door behind her.
A weekend in Vegas and a one-night stand… that’s all it took to lose the love of my life forever.
There’s no denying how much I screwed up. The worst part of it is, I don’t think there’s any way to repair the damage I caused.
Eddie is my soul mate. I have loved him as long as I can remember.
Yeah, he treats me badly sometimes, but he’s a guy.
Not just a guy, but a man’s man, the kind of guy who would rather wrench on a car, watch a football game, and have sex than cuddle with me while watching a romantic movie or something on TV, enjoying just being in the room with each other.
But despite everything, Eddie has always been the guy for me. We grew up with each other. I think that’s what hurts the most. I allowed five years of a relationship to be ruined by a night of hot sex with a foreigner. Sex I can’t even remember.
Was it hot? Was it horrible? I have no idea.
Eddie is the only guy I’ve ever been with before now, so my sexual escapades are few and far between. Even when Eddie and I broke up in the past, I couldn’t bring myself to have sex or even date anyone else, it just didn’t feel right.
It’s always been about Eddie.
Making him happy, and making sure we stay together is all that ever mattered to me. I overlooked the Jinafer incident because I love him.
Sure, I was broken up about it, and maybe I cried for days after I found out. But he was honest with me and felt really bad about it, and that’s all that matters. Right?