Chapter Twenty-Seven
Amber
There is way too much to be done. It’s possible that I’m in way over my head. Not only did I throw together a wedding in less than three months, but I somehow managed to dodge another near infidelity, all while trying to keep myself together as everything around me falls apart.
Yup, I am my own personal side show right now. I’m just waiting for the Bearded Lady and the Wolfman to show up.
Through it all, Eddie has done his best to calm me.
So much has changed since Las Vegas. But really, it’s Eddie who’s changed the most. Instead of holding in his feelings, we discuss them.
He actually shows me how he feels instead of keeping me in the dark, or treating me like I don’t mean anything to him at all. Always his treasure, never his trash.
I was completely honest with him about my bachelorette party, and though he’s not happy that Ryder’s in town, this time he listened instead of running away.
Fortunately, Ryder’s kept his distance, because I know if he came sniffing around again, Eddie would flip his shit.
I think he knows now that there is only one man for me, and that’s Eddie.
I guess he’s hanging on to some hope I won’t go through with the wedding.
But there’s nothing that’s going to stop me, not even Pippa.
“Poppy, are you okay?” She’s sitting in my bedroom, staring out the window like she’s lost in thought.
“I was just thinking about Wesley. It really sucks that he can’t be here today.”
“You were thinking about Wesley? That’s a first.”
She shifts uncomfortably. “It’s not like he consumes my thoughts or anything like that,” she argues, her tone a little too combative.
“Of course not,” I say, smiling wider.
“Have you heard from…” my voice trails off. Pippa and I haven’t talked to each other since the blow up about her not being invited to the wedding. Her threats haven’t sat well with me since.
“Good luck with your marriage… you’re going to need it, bitch!” Yeah, the words weren’t nice at all, but it was the way she smiled. How it crawled across her face in that mischievously evil way. Something’s off, I’m just not sure what, but it’s like I feel it developing behind the scenes.
“I haven’t seen her in two days,” Poppy says curtly, glaring at me just a tad. “You could’ve been nice and at least let her come.”
“After what she did? Absolutely not! You know she planned on me running into Ryder again.”
“Was it such a bad thing? You smile more when you’re around Ryder. There’s no history of bad breakups or cheating.”
“I was drunk, Poppy. Ryder is nothing more than a fucked-up fantasy. How would you feel if a male stripper fixated on you?”
She shrugs. “I’d go with it. The sex was probably amazing.”
Sighing, I fall back onto the bed next to her. “From what I remember, it was life altering—the kind of sex that can ruin a girl.” My head turns toward her. “Consider me thoroughly ruined.”
She giggles. “But that sex you had with Eddie the other night, that rendezvous in the rain, wasn’t it—”
“Life altering? Yup…” I pop the ‘p’, exhaling deeply as both men invade my thoughts. “Is it possible to have mind blowing sex with two different men and not feel so confused?”
Poppy giggles. “My guess is no. Are you going to do anything about it?”
Shaking my head, I shift up on my elbows to look at her. “Nope. I’m just going to show up at that chapel, marry Eddie, and get this over with. Has Mallory arrived yet?”
“I’m sure she’s just stuck in traffic; you did pick an insane time to get married.”
“It’s all they had available. I know it’s just one of those marry quick and get out of there places, but they still were fully booked.
Poppy nibbles on her lip. “You know she really wanted to be here, right? She’s told me a million times how bad she feels about the bachelorette party.”
We’re back to talking about Pippa again. Great.
“And yet she planned every miserable minute of it. Purposely. She’s sooooo sorry.” Rolling my eyes, I move over to my mirror so Poppy can do my hair. “I thought you haven’t seen her in two days?”
She meets my glare in the mirror and shrugs. “She’s called me, but she hasn’t been home in two days. She doesn’t want to upset you anymore than she already has. You know, she actually considered calling the cops and pressing charges on you that night.”
“Wonderful.”
“I talked her out of it.”
“You’re such a gem,” I reply, the snark and sarcasm strong and abrasive.
“She really is sorry, Amber. I know you don’t believe me, but she is. My sister is…”
“Fucked up? A psychopath? A fucking gaslighting manipulative bitch that everyone tiptoes around because it may hurt her pathetic little feelings?”
Poppy stops mid brush, knowing that every trait is true.
“She’s difficult,” she finishes, but we both know who’s more right in their descriptions.
“Just think about it, okay? There are too many years of friendship between us for you to just throw everything away over a mistake. I don’t want to have to choose between you two. ”
“I’ll never let that happen, Poppy. She’s your sister, and I respect that. If it ever comes down to a choice between the two of us, I’ll make it for you.”
“Amber, I don’t want to lose you. You’re my best friend.”
“I’ll always be your best friend, Poppy. That’s never going to change.”
She frowns, a look of regret flashing in her eyes, almost like she’s holding something back. When I catch her gaze in the mirror, she forces herself to smile. “Let’s do something about this hair, shall we? No need for all these tangles on your wedding day.”
The conversation dies there, but the way she looked at me is still kind of haunting. Ignoring it, I somehow manage to pull myself together, just long enough to get dressed and into the car with Mallory, who finally showed up, and Poppy.
“You ready for this?” Mallory questions, looking amazing in her green, floor-length bridesmaid dress.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
“You look nervous,” Poppy observes, studying me like Pippa always does.
“Is it that obvious?” My hands haven’t stopped shaking since getting into the car, and I can’t shake this feeling of dread that’s been gnawing at me for the last few hours. “I keep feeling like something bad is going to happen.”
“Nothing bad is going to happen, Amber. You got this!” Mallory encourages. I wish I could believe her, but it’s hard when my gut is telling me to turn around and run.
We arrive at the chapel early—too fucking early. The second I step outside, my gut twists, and nausea takes over. “This is a bad idea.”
“Are you having second thoughts?” Poppy questions.
“A million. Do you think I’m making a mistake?”
She shoots a look at Mallory before sighing. “Only you can answer that, Amber.”
My phone picks that moment to ring. It’s my mother.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Hey, Sweetie. Today’s the big day, huh?”
“Yeah, are you going to make it?”
There’s a long silence on the other end of the line. “I wish I could but—”
“Please don’t try to make excuses, Mom. You’re absent like always, and that’s okay, I guess.”
“Amber, you’re being unreasonable. I’m doing this for our family, so I can be a better mom.”
“A better mom would’ve waited to enter rehab until after the wedding.”
She draws out another stretch of uncomfortable silence.
“So, I call you out on your shit and you go silent on me? Figures.”
“That’s not fair, Amber.”
“No, Mom, what’s not fair is my mother missing my wedding because of self-reflection. Even trying to better yourself, you’re still selfish.”
Poppy winces, as does Mallory. Maybe I went a little too far, but everything is starting to feel too overwhelming, like the universe is telling me not to do this.
“I’m sorry,” she says through a quiet sob. “I’m working on myself. I’m trying to be better.”
Well, now I feel like absolute dog shit.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m just overwhelmed right now. I was really hoping you’d be here for me today since—” my voice cuts off, emotion filling the void inside me.
“Since your dad passed away.”
“Yeah…”
I hear someone call out her name from somewhere else.
“I just wanted to call and wish you luck, and tell you how proud of you I am. You’re an amazing girl, Amber.
How I got so lucky to have a daughter like you, I’ll never know.
Anyway, I should go. My sponsor is calling me to our weekly meeting. It’s my turn to talk.”
My fingers curl around my phone, anger returning, the bitterness inside starting to curdle and spoil. “Well, I’m sure you’ll have a lot to talk about, since you’re missing your only daughter’s wedding today.”
“Amber—”
“Goodbye, Mother.”
Before she can say anything else, I press end call.
Fuck her.
Fuck her for trying to better herself on my wedding day.
Poppy wraps me in a hug, wiping away my tears before they have a chance to ruin my makeup. “Why don’t you go get some air, Amber? You look like you need to clear your head.”
And I do.
Everything is telling me to wait and not go through with this. Yet here I am, standing outside a quickie chapel, wearing a wedding dress I bought from a Mexican dress shop, as I grasp onto the hope that everything will be okay.
“There’s a bench around back. Why don’t you head back there? I’ll cover for you when Eddie gets here.”
Nodding, I slowly move toward the back of the building, my anxiety rising, emotions hitting me like shrapnel expelled from an explosion.
My breathing quickens as I take a seat on the bench, unable to control it, my head pounding with frustration. There’s a piece of my dress that’s slightly frayed, so I pick at it… over… and over… and over again. Still unable to breathe. My mind working overtime.
This is wrong.
Everything is telling you not to go through with this.
But I love him.
God, do I fucking love him.
I’m so lost in my derailed train of thoughts that I don’t hear anyone approach me, not until his thick Australian accent invades and conquers.
“Amber?”